What are they DOING!?

Red Sox >>> STUPID!

What tha hell!? First of all, it’s pretty much VITAL that you sign Teixeira. He’s young, he’s one of the best hitters in the league, he’s a gold glove, he’s a great clubhouse guy, and he plays hard….He provides some offense that we need……..wait……..NEED……….he gives us another gold glover at a corner (3 for now…Lowell ain’t getting younger, and he’d be a good a perfect THE ONLY PERFECT BEST replacement.)

The words of John Henry, I hope better be nothing more than a clever ruse against Scott Boras, but if not, THEY ARE TH DUMBEST TEAM like……EVER.

FAQ

But Jeff, besides all of the very good arguments you have stated, what’s so good about Teixeira?

-Well, remember the year that the Red Sox had TWO good power hitters in their lineup?

Yea.

-What happened that year?

Oh well they won the world series I think.

-Yes, and our pitching is better this year as well.

Yes but-

-And we have Jason Bay added to the lineup, and with Lowell as the best bench player in baseball, or we could trade him along with Buchholz for Peavy (wishful thinking). Which would make us…..well……really reallllllly reaaaallllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy good.

The Red Sox are dumb.

(I discovered a thing that you can use to cross out words can you tell notice?)