I coined a new word! Aninalysis: To analyze something anime related. Basically,  I’m about to do a complete (relatively)  analysis of anime merchandise, starting with what I believe to be the most notable anime merchandise out there (besides dvds of the anime themselves):

Figures

These images were stolen from the following places, respectively: Here, here, and here. Thanks guys! Anyway, I’ll admit that figures look pretty cool (especially when “Danny Choo” is taking picture of them, and God knows that as far as art goes, the quality on most of these figures is pretty amazing), and I can kind of see why a lot of people collect them. As you could tell, there are many different types of figures that you can get. I mean, any single character can be available in 100000 million zillion different forms (like Shana here for example). Another cool thing about figures  is that you can see your favorite characters in 3-D, as opposed to on a screen (2-D). That being said…

“I will never buy one ever.”

Why you ask? Well there are several reasons why. Here, let me list them:

1.) Appearance

Not the figures’ appearance, but mine. I’m 21 years old. It’s bad enough that I watch anime, I can’t have figures lining my walls. Because that might make me turn out like this:

That’s a problem. Of course, if my own personal appearance was the only problem, then I still wouldn’t hesitate to buy a bunch of figures. I mean, I wear a speedo to the beach, and go to random ass parties dressed in Tropical Vacation garb, so it’s kind of clear that appearance isn’t really something that I take too seriously. There’s more.

2.) Money

How much do these things cost? 5 dollars? 30? 50? 150? It could be 1 dollar, it’s still too rich for my poor ass. I recently just got my bank account back. (I had previously closed it out because I had no money, and if you don’t have any money, they charge you money. Thanks, banks.). But yea. I’m not in a big hurry to spend it on worthless items (insert Robert’s annoying comment about me and “spending money on stupid shit” here). I mean, what do figures do anyway? You can look at them. Big deal. After a while, that would bore me, and this leads me to my last reason.

3.) The Future

Who knows what the future holds? I mean, 7 years down the road, maybe even months, I might suddenly pull an “oballer” and decide that I don’t like anime anymore. So what am I supposed to do with these figures? Throw them away? I suppose I could sell them on ebay, but in the end I’m still going to experience a net loss in funds. I don’t know, I guess figures just aren’t my thing. Let’s wrap this section up:

Conclusion: I used to collect Star Wars action figures when I was a young child. I loved them. I was obsessed. Everyday I would either save up, or ask my mom to go to Ames to buy a new one (they had them there for cheapest). Let me first tell you that the best character is Boba Fett (holy shit I need to write an entire thing about him NOW), but I only got one version of him, where he has some huge jet pack thing. It’s gay. I managed to trade for another Fett (with green wrist guards!!!), but his scope is missing, which sucks big time. Anyway, I still like Star Wars (although I’m not a freak like some people), but my lust for action figures is pretty much entirely dried up. I have no aspirations to buy them, nor have anything else to do with them. It’s not like I hate them, but they’re nothing more then pointless items to me now. In the same sense, I like anime, but I have no ambition to go out and collect figures. Not going to happen. (although I will admit that they can look pretty cool….uhhh……..wait……who would buy something like this:

Does this arouse you? If it does, then you have a LOT of problems.....just letting you know.

Okay, with that last odd picture aside (or I should say right above this text), let me now move on to:

DVD’s

You can’t have anime merchandise without the anime itself. That being said, I have never bought an anime dvd ever in my life. I would, but money plays a key role in preventing me from doing this. I mean, let’s be honest, who wants to watch anime on a small computer screen, when you could watch it on a nice, big, TV? I’m sure everyone will agree that the TV is better. Better quality, better audio, better everything. Of course, I have no money, and when you’re broke, you need to focus on getting things that you need and  not things that you want. Therefore, I turn to torrents, which (alliteration aside) are very awesome and cool. I love torrents.

Why should I you buy DVDs when I can get pretty high quality torrents for free?

Well, it’s good to invest money into the corporations or production companies that are making the anime. I mean, that’s how you keep the anime going. How many shitty anime titles out there get a second season? Queen’s Blade doesn’t count. Neither does Asura Cryin’. Neither does Honey and Clover……okay this whole question is pretty much thrown out. But yea, support the anime company, and when I get money, I will too (lie).

Cosplay Costumes

Okay, so I don’t cosplay, but I’m no longer against it like I used to be. In fact, I support cosplayers now, if anything. My mind is much more open then it was (although hippies, PETA, feminists, and all those other shitty types of people still piss me off……so does China). But let me tell you right now:

“If you spend money buying a cosply costume, then you are a pussy.”

Make your own you homo, otherwise you’re a faggot. (also, notice how I said cosplay costume and not Halloween costume. There’s a difference (I spent money on a Halloween costume, and I’ll be damned if I’m labeled a hypocrite). I don’t have much more to say here.

Games

This is an example of most a boring anime related game.

This game came before the anime (like most), and it kicks ass.

This is a big question mark, as for me, it really depends on the genre of game. And by genre, I mean: Regular of H? H is not something of particular interest to me. In fact, I don’t like games that much at all. I tried playing one once ages ago, and decided that it was boring and dull. I mean, that’s just me. Maybe the problem is that I have a life? Who knows. That being said, if the game is something that I find fun, such as

InuYasha: Feudal Combat

This is still the only anime-related anything that I have ever spent money on/have.

Then I say, buy them up. Buy them in packs. Maybe I just expect games to be fun and exciting, as opposed to games that are more like reading books.

Other Random Shit Like Key-Chains

Okay, so if you want to buy some key chains or something, go ahead. But if you want to buy something weird like a pillow with a naked anime girl printed on it…..well, you’re weird, but who am I to judge? When it comes to these little things (like mouse pads where the anime characters boobs are arm rests), I say go ahead and buy them.

Well, that’s all that I have. If you think I missed anything big, go ahead and tell me your thoughts. God knows I can use some God damn comments on this ghost town of a site.

NOTE: Also, I will be going on vacation for a week, which means no internet, which means no posts, which means that if you visit this shitty site, nothing will change.

DOUBLE NOTE: I need to bring back Bill the Ass-Kicker.