Air Master: First Impressions

One could say that it KICKS ass! (pun get it? get it? it’s a pun. I just made a joke and it was a pun. get it?)

First of all, the main character

That’s a HUUUUUUGE bitch! Holy shit! I’ve never come across a woman this large in size, size, and size! But that’s one of the things that seems good so far about this anime. I mean, if you’re going to have a female be a nasty street fighter, you can’t make her some loli girl, it’s just not realistic. But Maki is a girl who, based on sheer size and muscular fortitude alone, could probably mash any strong male like potatoes (get it? mashed? potatoes? mashed potatoes? the potatoes are mashed? they’re mashed potatoes, and I-I compared the men, to the potatoes…to…to the mashed potatokay I’ll stop doing this).

In fact, in this post, I’m not going to talk about the awesome OP and the awesome ED, or the other shit like that. I’m only going to talk about the size of this gargantuan Amazon Warrior-looking she-beast. For Halloween she paints herself green and goes as the Hulks bigger, older sister. Can you find a man anywhere with the penis thick enough to satisfy this woman’s assumably massive hatchet battle ax wound? I mean, forget length, her vaginal cavity could probably give Snow White and all of her seven dwarfs a great place to hide out from all sorts of witches and apples, and they could all have separate rooms too. I bet she has cable hooked up in that giant vagina of hers. She probably rents it out to people during holidays. Her family probably saves money by living out of her uterus instead of spending money on a house.

Most girls will go interracial if they want to fuck a bigger dong (like a black person). But Maki needs to go interspecies. Maki needs a penis the size of a great whale if she want to feel satisfaction. Not a great whale’s penis, I’m talking about an entire great whale. Maki’s vagina once held down a job as a holding tank for Shamoo the Whale. The pleasure that she got from it caused her to climax, and resulted in one of the largest tsunami’s ever recorded.

Penises come in all sorts of sizes.  Of the biggest are those that are like, a foot long or some ridiculous shit (I’m kind of just guessing here). But is that enough? Fuck no. Not for Maki’s giant pussy. The world’s biggest feline is not a lion, it’s Maki’s pussy (that one sucked).  Now I’m not going to tell you that my penis is around 6.5-7 inches when erect, because I don’t share that kind of information. But I will say that no matter how big a cock gets, it probably would never satisfy Maki’s vagina, which has been known to house the Goodyear blimp.

This girl is fucking huge. She’s like the Shaq of Japanese women. Is she even Japanese? I doubt it. If I were to guess ethnicity, I’d say 25% Nordic, 25% German, 5% Japanese, 5% Hungarian, and 40% Huge Bitch. I’m guessing that the only thing that can’t fit in her vagina are Mina’s obnoxiously huge tits:

Let's be honest, we've all seen bigger (think Queen's Blade)

Compared to Maki’s vagina, these tits aren’t anything special. I mean, that kind of surgery can be done over night (Ace Ventura, 1994). But a vagina as big a Maki’s? A bigger one does not exist. And yes, if you’re wondering, I will be referencing Curb Your Enthusiasm in a bit. But first more talk about Maki.

Besides the fact that her vagina serves as a bomb shelter able to house 200 people in case of a nuclear attack, the utter size of her body is something that can only be described as behemoth, and that short, red hair doesn’t help her look anymore sexy. If a guy actually falls in love with her during  this show, he better be fucking huge or I’ll shit my pants. Actually, it would probably make sense to have a really short guy fall in love with her….I mean, then sex would be interesting. How would he go about getting her pregnant? I’ll tell you how.

Getting Maki Pregnant

The animation in Air Master? Not the greatest. The proportions actually suck. It's (the animation) not bad though other than that.

Step 1: Buy a Map

Maki’s vagina is a vast labyrinth, and it’s incredibly easy to get lost. Also, it would be best to make this map waterproof. You’ll know why once you’re in there.

Step 2: Wear a Rubber

suit. Wear a rubber suit. It’s a vagina, and during moment of arousal, vaginas get wet. It’s a fact that Maki’s vagina can hold up to 700 gallons of vaginal secretion, and you don’t want to drown. You should probably bring a few oxygen tanks and some flashlights too.

Step 3: Bring Some Porn

You’re already inside the vagina. What are you going to fuck? You’re going to have to jerk off, and so porn or vivid imagination will be needed, unless you can somehow jerk off to the insides of a vagina you sick fuck.

Step 4: Semen. Lots of it.

God knows how big the egg that you’re gonna have to fertilize is going to be. It might eat you if you get too close, so save up a few gallons of frozen sperm over the course of….well….your life, and get ready to use it.

That’s about it. Hopefully, you’ve gotten Maki pregnant, and you never have to do this arduous task ever again. Personally, I would just adopt. Here’s a relevant video, then more Maki facts:

Here’s a story about large vaginas. A friend of mine in high school (and this is an actual true story) was getting freaky with this girl. She was a pretty short girl, but when he went to finger her he FELL IN TO HER VAGINA AND DIED! It’s a pretty rough story, but we’ve all gotten over it now. So back to facts about Maki’s vagina.

  • Maki’s vagina has it’s own mailing address and post office.
  • Maki’s vagina has handicap parking.
  • Over 47% of Maki’s vagina remains unexplored.
  • Maki’s vagina is home to the world’s largest dam.
  • If you took every penis on the planet and lined them up then you could wrap the Earth twice. Likewise, Maki could fit Earth inside of her vagina twice.
  • Maki’s vagina can sing.
  • When vacationing out of country, Maki’s vagina needs a separate passport, but on the plus side, it can be used to store all luggage, so there are no bag fees!
  • Like the Himilayas, Maki’s vagina increases by 2 inches each year. Unlike the Himilayas, Maki’s vagina must eat three square meals a day.
  • A queef from Maki’s vagina was the cause of Hurrican Katrina.
  • Maki’s vagina starred as the Sarlacc Pit in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

Okay I’m done. And I didn’t even talk about her giant tits.

Dreams. They Kick Ass.

EDIT: For some reason, WordPress decided to publish this as a post from Feb. 20th, when it is clearly the 27th. Basically, I got WordPressed (new word bitch). Luckily, (because I’m used to WordPress fucking up) I always make sure that my post is correctly published in a new tab before exiting out of the post’s edit page.

I feel like writing a post on dreams, so I’m going to. There’s going to be porn involved (That guy said porn!) (relevant at 2:00) Basically, there are many types of dreams that I think everyone has. There are also some that I’m sure only a few have. Whatever this post is going to be long enough as it is, I might as well just start.

EDIT: At almost 3000 words, this is obnoxiously long. If you can read the whole thing, you rule.

So, dreams. What about them? Obviously everyone has weird dreams, otherwise they wouldn’t be called dreams. Sometimes dreams can be realistic. Sometimes you know that they’re dreams as you dream them. Sometimes you kill people in your dreams. Sometimes you die in your dreams. Sometimes you wake up from dreams and don’t know who or where you are, and even after you spend a few minutes thinking, you still don’t know what day it is. Basically dreams rule. They’re almost like doing various drugs (probably?). But how far have you done in your dreams? To what limit have you pushed the reality and vividness of your imagination? Or I should say, how far has your imagination pushed you?

Scene #1: Killing Intent?

Anybody happen to know what manga this is from?

I hope you don’t read this and think that I’m some kind of psychotic, because then my cover will be blown and I’ll have to change states/names again (that’s a joke). We all have dreams that involve us killing or kicking ass, right? It’s just a part of our human nature. As humans, we are animals, and no matter how much we differ from those in the bush, we still all contain the basics instincts of an animal: protecting territory, hunting, etc. So maybe you have a dream about kicking someone’s ass for whatever reason. But how bloody do they get? How badly do you kick ass? Me? Well, when I’m in la-la land, I’m a bad motherfucker.

1. Jail Makes You Awesome

I recall one dream (it was actually pretty funny/awesome) where I had just gotten out of jail. I was in jail for 3 years, and although nothing happened in jail, and I didn’t do anything to get there in the first place, I came out of jail thinking that I was a complete bad ass. I went to a bar the first night back, and saw a bunch of friends. One of my friends asked me what it felt like being out of jail. What did I do? I punched him as hard as I could in the face and laughed at him.

“Sorry dude, I was in jail, I’m a bad ass now.” I told him, as if my fist connecting with his jaw was completely not my fault. For some reason, he believed me, and for the rest of the dream I just went about kicking and punching people, without being held accountable for my actions. It was going to jail meant you were allowed to beat people down. That was a fucking great dream. A dream that I’m sure everyone’s had, so let’s turn up the heat a bit.

How bout the dream where you bash people heads in, crush skulls, and kill people in rather violent ways? Like when you take someone by their feet and swing them (as if they weigh nothing) headfirst into the corner of a concrete wall about 7 or 8 times. Personally, I love dreams like this. They’re good stress relievers. Fortunately for society, things a person dreams are completely disconnected from real life…..right? Oh, if you want to hear the full dream of that last part, here it is (you can skip it if you want, but I wrote it down after I woke up, so I might as well share it):

2. This Could Be A Sick Movie

The story starts off with a kid who is getting sort of bullied by three other dudes, a tall thin dude, a big, kind of fat dude, and a normal, athletic type dude. Then one night he stumbles into a facility that is building highly advanced weapons, vehicles, etc, and is incorporating nanobot technology into said objects. By accident, The main character gets injected with nanobots, which allow him to use all of the weapons and super human strength (one must have nanobots in their blood system in order to use the technology, kind of like the special guns from Shoot Em Up).

The main character (we’ll call him Jeff DURRDURDURR) grabs a motorcycle and takes it out for a spin, as the company had no choice but to incorporate him into their experiments. While getting used to the bike (which kind of resembles the bike from Akira, except black and dark blue….everything in this dream is a shiny black or blue kind of metallic color), he notices the kids who bully him, and shoots them with the bikes gun (all he has to do is think it, because he’s connected to the bike through the nanobots, kind of like in AVATAR). However, the bike does not shoot bullets, it instead shoots really small darts (almost like a pellet gun) that are meant to weaken windows/walls, so that you can just drive the bike through them. (Don’t ask me why it doesn’t just shoot bullets, putting a gun that shoots window breaking pellets seems pretty pointless to me). So it doesn’t do much but make the bullies mad.

Later, the bullies break into the company and get nanobot technology injected into them (this company has pretty shitty security apparently). They steal weapons and start running amok, including beating the shit out of Jeff. Jeff eventually recovers, and stocks up on weapons and cars from the company (that only nanobot users can use). He goes after the trio of bad guys, but they kind of kick his ass again.

After chasing them around, he gets them in the companies building, and literally pounds the shit out of the fat dude’s face. But the fat dude isn’t even hurt (like, I was taking him by the feet and smashing his head into a wall). Eventually, he gets parts to put a sniper rifle/shotgun together thingy (there’s interchangeable parts to make any kind of gun you can think of), and shoots the skinny guy and the main bad guy down (the fat one is finally knocked out). The thin dude is dead, but the other one is just hurt on the ground, Jeff shoots him in the face with the sniper rifle. The end.

Scene #2: Wait, Am I Dreaming?

You ever wake up from a dream and have absolutely no idea where you are or what’s going on? Yesterday I woke up and didn’t know my name. I then remembered my name, and then convinced myself it was both Thursday and Friday at the same time. Keep in mind that I was awake at this point. Dreams can have that kind of effect on people. Sometimes as well, dreams can have an effect on you even more. Here are my examples:

1. The Tower

In one dream, I was in a narrow, tall, and cluttered tower. This tower had four walls and was Japanese style (duh), meaning wooden, paneled walls, and a bunch of shit. It also meant that I was in a fight with another dude while climbing the stairs (which were all crooked, as was to tower…and there were birds flying around too. It was all bright colors and chaos). We were obviously using katanas, since Japanese shit seems to be all that my retarded brain is capable of thinking about. At one point, I got sliced across the front of my shin, and let me tell you, it actually felt like I got sliced across the shin. Almost right away I woke up, and it still felt like I had been sliced across the shin. 5 Minutes later, it still felt like I had been sliced across the shin. The entire rest of the day, IT STILL FELT LIKE I HAD BEEN SLICED ACROSS THE SHIN. How was that possible?

Obviously you hit your shin on something while you were sleeping.

Oh sure….then where were the marks on my shin? Also, I have a nice, big, queen size bed, and it’s positioned in such a way that to hit my shin on anything at all, I would have had to get out of bed. But when I abruptly awoke, I was laying in my bed, under my covers (technically, cover….I only use a comforter, sheets are too annoying and complicated). Therefore, there was nothing I could have hit anything on, and I wasn’t sleep walking.

Scene #3: Dreams With Girls and No Sex

1: Orange Haired Babe

Have you ever fallen in love with a girl you made up from your mind in a dream, and then woke up and became really depressed for a week or so that she wasn’t there? Well I haven’t, but I almost did. A long time ago (maybe high school) I’m pretty sure I might have fallen in love with a girl I completely made up from scratch. She might have had orange hair (I’m not talking about a redhead, I’m talking about bright orange, died hair) and blue eyes, and she might have had a great body. She might have not even talked, and the dream might have lasted only 20 seconds. What the fuck is wrong with me? Next example.

2: They tried, to kill, my wife (that quote has almost nothing to do with the actual dream)

Take last night for example. I got married in my dream…..I got fucking married. I’m not sure if this was a dream or a nightmare, but it happened. I’d say it was a nightmare, because every time me and my wife (who was hot, but didn’t have much of a chest) tried to fuck, one of our kids would need attention. That’s right, I HAD FUCKING KIDS IN MY DREAM. WHAT THE FUCK!

So we’re in this house, trying to get it on, and then my kid starts crying (at this point in the dream, I wasn’t even aware I had kids until they started crying). One was an infant boy, and the other was a girl who just learned to walk. So instead of getting some PUSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY that’s actually not real since it’s a dream, I had to take care of the kids. Then my wife has the audacity to say that I don’t spend enough time with the kids, when I’m the only one who takes care of them! What a whore! Needless to say I hated the women from this point on in the dream, and didn’t even try to get more pussy. Anyway, I had a basketball game (for some reason I was on a Men’s League team, which in my dream world got the same amount of attention as the NBA, go figure). So I was playing, and my fucking good for nothing wife who is now a stuck up bitch just let’s the kids run wild during the middle of a game. My team is inbounding the ball, and my kid (the boy, who can now walk I guess) is just walking around on the court like a moron. I didn’t want to make the kid cry, so I pick him up and bring him back to my shitty fucking wife who needs to be slapped since she can’t even watch her own kids, and tell him that I’ll let him come on the court later but he can’t go on the court.

Needless to say a timeout was never called and the game was never stopped, so my team has now missed me for 3 possessions, and we’ve been getting handled. Thankfully, I woke up soon there after. Moral? Never marry a girl with small breasts, and don’t have kids. Seriously though, the earth only has so much space for people. By the way, have you seen Mai Otome yet? No? Wtf is wrong with you people (the ones who haven’t seen it)

I actually saw it long, long ago, but that video was suggested to me by YouTube, and I thought it was pretty good soo….

Scene #4; The Flying Dream

My Asian friend was talking to me about his dream where he was flying, and he described it exactly like mine are. For the record, I’ve never gotten that fucking star.

In a typical flying dream, flying is not that easy to do. I don’t know how good you are at flying in your dreams, but chances are, you’d crush my ass in a race. When I fly it’s usually a struggle just to stay up (insert funny boner joke here). I almost always have to do the triple Mario jump to start flying, and when I’m airborne, my style of flight is almost exactly like in Mario 64 when you have the flying cap:I go up, and then down, and then up, and then down, etc. Sometimes it’s not like this, but I’m really gritting it out to fly, and I’m also not that high off the ground. I don’t really like the flying dreams, because they’re a bit of a struggle

Scene #5: The Teeth Dream

Every have a dream where your teeth either fall out, crack and fall out, or break? I hate these dreams, and they’re all the same:

  1. My teeth break into huge chunks and fall out of my mouth.
  2. I put them together like a puzzle, and shove them back in.
  3. They stay for a bit, but not for a long time, and I can feel them clicking together (like the pieces). Yikes. Just thinking about it sucks.

That’s all I want to talk about with that dream.

Scene #6: The Anime Dream

Dreaming in animation is cool, and when you watch as much anime as I do, you’re bound to dream in animation at least once. In fact, I have only done so once. And sadly, it involved me (a teacher) taking my class of middle school girls to a fair or amusement park or some bullshit. Ugh.

So I’m a teacher. This dream reminded me a lot of Mahou Sensei Negima, as far as my class went. Before you even ask, no, I did not fuck with any of my class, nor did I even have any desire to. As a character, I was a teacher that did a LOTTTTTTTTTTTT of slapstick. at one point, I was on a roof somehow, and jumped off and grabbed a rope that was hanging. This did nothing, as I simply fell and landed on my face (kind of like the old Looney Tunes). The whole dream was pretty much non-sense and slapstick, and was generally fun, although there were way too many colors. Also, I don’t think that I was animated. I’m pretty sure I was normal, then again, this dream happened a long ass time ago.

Scene #7: Auntie Emm! Auntie Emm! It’s a Twister! It’s a Twister!

The relevant part is literally at the very end. If you mistook the title for a Wizard of Oz reference then you’re fucking retarded.

Dreams with tornadoes. I have one at least once a month, and they always kick ass. It usually has a shitload of tornadoes and other than that, not much to say. This post has been winding down, and so I leave you with this song, which I literally just found, and is FUCKING GREAT if you’re into this kind of stuff……reminds me of Mirror’s Edge. On that note, anybody want to give me a free Xbox 360?

This starts to pick up around 4 minutes, and get nasty. Here’s the original, which is a cool French song (I don’t know French, but from the video, it looks like it might be about a guy who can’t even NOT get tackled/held back by a girl! What a bitch!):

C’est la vie!

The Influence of Anime: Saki

BOOB ALERT: (no nudity, just thought you’d want to know that this post is gonna rock).

Days (more like months) back, Saki came out. I watched one episode, and thought that it was a show I could see myself liking, but there was one problem. I didn’t have a fucking clue what any of these characters were talking about when they were playing mahjong. I didn’t know the first thing about mahjong! The phrases, the game moves, everything just confused me. So I put it on hold until I learned mahjong, and then I began the long process (not really) of learning the game.

At first I read up on it, looked at everything, and even tried playing online. But I was playing the wrong kind. In Saki, they play the Japanese version of the game (obviously), while I was playing the Chinese version. They’re different, believe me. I was playing the Chinese version, and didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I was used to Kan and Pun and stuff with the version in Saki, and with the Chinese version they use words like chow and kong and I was getting confused because they weren’t the same, and it never crossed my mind that there could be different variations/translations of terms (I guess I’m just that dumb). It was at this point that I decided, “Hey, fuck it.” I put the anime on Injured Reserve for a while, until such time that I wanted to give it another try.

About 2 weeks ago, I decided that maybe I can still enjoy the anime even though I don’t get the game. So I picked it up. After 1 more episode, I decided, yet again, that it was time to learn mahong. This time, I knew that they were playing Japanese style, and that’s probably why I was able to learn it much easier than the previous attempt (I was used to the terms, and already knew the tiles from my first attempt to learn this game). The second attempt therefore came much easier than the first. There were still some things that I didn’t get, but I got the help I needed thanks my twitter conversation with zzeroparticle and pantherh. So yea, now I love mahjong, and by love, I mean I’ll play it when I’m bored. Now that I’m finished with that boring, pointless story, I can deliver my review of

Saki

So Saki is about a girl named Saki who has been playing mahjong with her family since she was little. However, her parents would get mad at her if she lost, and got mad if she won, so she learned to just finish at plus/minus 0 every time (which is kind of like breaking even in poker every single time you play). Eventually she gets involved with her school’s mahjong club, and learns to turn this ability to break even into one where she pretty much becomes unstoppable.  Rie Kugimiya is also in this anime, so I was going to watch it regardless.

It’s actually a pretty good plot. More original then a lot of other bullshit out there. For pros and cons, I’m just going to pick one thing and focus on it.

Pro – The Mahjong Games

First of all, anime that feature tournaments of any kind are usually awesome. The same is true here. Although mahjong is kind of half luck half skill, in Saki, luck and skill seem to go hand and hand. For example. When a character looks like they’re down and out, they will suddenly call richii, and then the rest of the players will be stunned. In real life mahong, this doesn’t mean that said character has the game in hand, they still have to wait for another tile to declare ron (a winning hand). But in Saki, the character pretty much will always then reach to pick up a tile, thus winning. If said character is drawing a facedown tile, then they pick it up, seemingly knowing that it’s the winning tile (it will usually be shining or something) and do something like throw it up in the air and slam it down on the table, declaring tsumo (winning hand). It’s all showy and I liked it. Pretty much, everything is very over dramtized, I did a poor job at explaining, but take the fight scenes in a show like Sengoku Basara and translate them to Mahjong. That’s what the games are like.

Another good aspect of the games is the players themselves. They always have some kind of special ability/trait, and let’s face it, special abilities/traits kick ass. I’ll use my favorite character as an example.

Momo is awesome, and here’s why:

As a young one, she was that girl who, while she was never a loser, never really stood out, ie, she was simply invivsible. She broke off all attempts to even communicate with anyone, and this translates to her mahong game. She has the ability to make her moves and tiles invisible. Likewise, she’ll declare richii and no one will even know. More importantly (at least according to the subs) she pluralizes random words. For examples, she might say something like:

“I believes you!”

There is no need to pluralize “believes”, but she does it. What a rebel!  Momo kicks ass. Also, she’s a complete lesbian (wait….who ISN’T one in this show? Oh yea, Yuki…and Jun Fukuyama’s character, who is obviously a male.). That’s probably another pro. There’s a shitload of yuri themes. There’s no overpowering raging lesbians, but there’s a lot of ambiguous lesbianism. For example, girls will blush at each other during moments of, well, I guess you could call it affection? Basically when someone tells someone else something encouraging or anything like that, one or the other will blush. Usually the person blushing is Nodoka when Saki tells her something. And the only two that seem to have an actual lesbian relationship is Momoko and Yumi, although during the last episode, well, I’ll just say that it was filled with yuri.

Well I got completely off topic, but you should have guessed that that was going to happen.

Best Pro: The Mahjong Matches (they also contained some BAM moments)

Con – Nodoka’s Boobs

Wow. That’s all I have to say. I couldn’t wait to write this, and I guarantee I actually will be able to stick to topic. The animation overall in Saki is pretty good. I couldn’t notice anything that made me think “Wow this sucks.” EXCEPT NODOKA’S TITS.

Her tits actually contradict themselves. Now, to prove that I am a better artist than those who used a pen to take a stab at Nodoka’s mountain range, I took a screenshit and fixed it IN PAINT. That’s right, in paint. Each one took about 10 seconds to fix. Here is the first one:

Do you see the problem? In the top picture (the original) the boobs are outlined. Why, I have no idea. You can’t have both outlines of boobs AND folds over them…it makes not sense. If the boobs were outlined, it would mean that her shirt is tucked under her boobs, which would be entirely possible, except that there are also folds that would indicate the shirt NOT being tucked under her massive cans. So I removed the lines, yielding a more natural look. Of course, there’s still a whole lot wrong with this, I mean, the folds are going in the wrong directions. Here’s another boob job:

The folds shouldn’t be going up and down, , I’ll draw a picture of how they should look in a bit (it’s gonna be a shitty paint picture….eventually I’m going to put up some actual art of mine). Here’s another boob job:

Everything is wrong. The folds are overloaded. And you know what? I’m not going to draw a picture of huge boobs. I’m going to use google to do it for me:

Take note: The folds in the shirt are HORIZANTAL (across) NOT VERTICAL. Have these artists ever even seen huge tits? Probably not, because they live in Japan (ba-dump. kishhh)

This one has only one fold, but it goes across the shirt, it doesn’t outline each individual boob.

Here we would have the boob shirt tuck. The shirt is tucked under her boobs. Do you see any horizontal folds though? No you do not. Let me add that she needs a breast reduction, her back is going to completely give out in a matter of hours.

Now maybe you can tell why is wrong with Nodoka’s tits, one of the few cons I had with this anime (there are more, but I’m writing a separate post about these things because they apply to most anime).

Suck my dick (just felt like saying that). Here’s the final fucking grade:

FINAL GRADE = 5

Bill HATES THE WEATHER IN CONNECTICUT! WHEN WILL IT FUCKING STOP RAINING!??????

So I was GOING to go to the city. But it’s NEVER GOING TO FUCKING STOP RAINING SO NOW I’M NOT GOING AND I ALREADY CALLED OUT OF WORK. FUCK YOU WEATHER I’M SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF.

Manga Monday: Pretty Face?

I’m not a fan of the whole trap. In fact, traps are gay as fuck (although so are lesbians, and I like those).

But isn’t this a trap manga?

No. No it is not.

But one of the genres listed is gender bender, and it’s about a guy pretending to be a girl.

That’s all bullshit propaganda. Do you really believe that? Nazis used propaganda. Are you saying that you’re a nazi? You should be shot! I mean, sure, Pretty Face focuses around a dude named Randoh, whose face is burned in an accident beyond recognition, and who gets a new face that is actually a girl’s face, and somehow has to pretend to be a girl for an X amount of time, but it’s not a trap, because his character is drawn in a way where you can tell that he’s clearly a male, even when he’s wearing fake boobs (I shouldn’t even post this, my sexuality is definitely going to take a hit here).

Pretty Face

So how the fuck did I get “trapped” up in this? Well, Lately, I may have said that I’ve been storming through manga. I wasn’t lying. I’ve been literally going down the list of manga on onemanga and just picking out completed manga at random and reading them, unless the plot looks completely retarded, or I really hate the art. Also, if it’s shoujo, I’ll mainly stay away, because that shit is lame (lame shit). I found this one, and decided, “Well, I’ll give it a shot for one chapter, and see how I like it.” Needless to say the humor in it was awesome. The jokes were quick (as opposed to long winded and drawn out) and whenever Randoh kicked everyone’s ass (pretty much every chapter), it was great. I also really enjoyed the end.

The Plot

So Randoh. He’s a martial arts bad ass, and has a crush on a girl named Rina. Then he gets burned beyond recognition in an accident. The doctor finds a picture next to him (of Rina), and, thinking that Randoh is the girl in the picture, gives him Rina’s face. Whoops. When Randoh (who now looks exactly like the Rina) comes to terms with this, and goes out on the streets, wouldn’t you know it, he runs into Rina. Rina, however, thinks that Randoh is actually her twin sister, Yuna, who ran away from home long ago. So now, Randoh is caught in all sorts of shit. What’s a guy to do?

But wait, if he was a marital arts champion, wouldn’t he be jacked? Even with a girl’s face, his body is still male, so shouldn’t it be obvious that something odd is going on?

It’s all explained in the manga. Also, keep in mind that this is a manga, and isn’t close to factual.

Couldn’t he just have sued the doctor for malpractice and avoided the entire situation?

Probably, but again, it’s a manga.

The Comedy & Content

The jokes in this were what got me hooked. Even though Randoh’s never ending ass whoopings kind of got old after 52 chapters, they didn’t get boring enough for me to stop reading. The jokes in the first chapter especially were quite good. Another plus was that they [the jokes] sometimes came from no-where, and were unexpected. Sure there was a lot of cliche, but sometimes I like cliche. Actually, most times I like cliche.

Here’s some things it had:

  • Nosebleeds (I’m writing a post on nosebleeds….not sure how I feel about it. I might not put it up) I have since put up said post. I’m not going to link to it, it’s literally the last post I posted.
  • BAM moments (I’m not linking to this anymore. No I’m sorry, search it if you don’t know what it is)
  • Humor based on awkward moments, misconceptions, and mistaken identity/gender, not to mention perversion.
  • Intriguing Characters (The Zany Dr., the obsessive lesbian, the obsessive sister, the nutty friends…..solid cast)
  • A Good/Funny ending.

The Trap

This is slightly off topic but also slightly related, honestly I just want to give my two cents on it. Everyone’s been making a big deal about Hideyoshi from Baka to Test. All of the gay bloggers (or the only one I’m actually subscribed to) are obsessed with him. As I stated above, I’m not a fan of traps. Who the fuck wants to see a guy dress up like a girl (besides the previously stated)? Not me. I’d rather see a girl dress up as a girl. Or better yet, a girl not even dressed up, just naked. Or better yet, a girl sucking my cock (attire unimportant as long as she does a good job. If she does a bad job, I might get bored and want to immerse myself in her fashion, and in that case dress counts). So then why did I bother with this in the first place? Well that’s because unlike a character like Hideyoshi, who is drawn exactly like a girl, and is simply said to have a penis, Randoh still looks like a dude, but he just looks like a dude with long hair.

I messed up the picture. I didn't mean to measure the shoulders, I meant to measure the chest width. But notice, he's drawn as a girl.

Hideyoshi is drawn (I’m getting into the art here) with more slender shoulders and a hip to chest ratio that a women would have (hourglass figure) as you must know, women have a larger pelvis than men (for when they pop out a kid), which contributes to this appearance, and unless a man is suffering from Klinfelter’s Syndrome, a man having an hourglass figure is not likely (unless surgery is involved). Therefore, Hideyoshi is actually a girl. Plus he wears girls clothing. Plus he has boobs.

Does this look like a girl?

On the other side, we have Randoh, who is clearly given the appearance throughout the manga. He is drawn like a man. Broad shoulders. a penis……but the face too usually is given attributes connected with that of a man, or angry bear. Sharp teeth the annoyed expression, dark eyes,  the look of death before he kicks someone’s ass….so where’s the trap? There is none.

FINAL GRADE = 5*

Wait, that’s it? All you did was talk about traps.

Yea that’s kind of all I really wanted to do. All I keep hearing from several regions of the animblogosphere is “Hideyoshi, Hideyoshi, trap, trap, trap.” He’s a girl. I brought fucking science into this shit so I’m right……..suck my dick.

From Nosebleeds to Colonel Sanders

Originally, I was just going to delete this draft, because I’m trying to actually write better posts, but then I saw this shit on Animerated, and said, “Fuck it.”  So here’s the post on nosebleeds that, if you look at my twitter, you can see I started writing like….a month ago. Okay. Here’s the actual post:

The Actual Post

Anyone who’s anyone knows that in anime, whenever a male character (or in some cases, female character) sees a nice ass or a fine pair of tits they get a nosebleed. Sometimes these nosebleeds are small

But let’s be honest, when do you ever see a nosebleed that’s small? Fuck that shit, just like everything else in anime, nosebleeds too, are highly exaggerated.

That’s more like it. Look at that massive flow. Once I gave blood. It was about that much. I was sidelined from life for about an hour and a half. Anyway, as you know, nosebleeds are among the more common happenings in manga and anime, specifically during moments when a guy/girl sees a really hot girl/guy in a provocative way. Either the character causing the nosebleed is scantily clad, naked, or doing something that creates arousal in the mind/body of the nose-bleeder. So, where does this come from?

Well, when a person gets embarrassed, they may get flushed in the face, and thus it may turn a slight hue of red. But SHUIRLEY the nose bleed isn’t as such in real life, right? So why the huge nose explosion in anime? Does it symbolize a boner? Has anyone you know ever gotten a nosebleed from seeing a naked girl? I sure haven’t, and I see naked girls plenty of times (like in figure drawing, and last week we actually drew a pretty hot girl). So what the fuck is going on. I found it interesting how in anime, the characters treat nosebleeds like a common occurrence.

At this point in the post, you might start to get an idea as to why I never wanted to actually publish this post, because I really have nothing else to say. Was I even trying to make a point here? I have no idea. I guess I’ll just point out another obvious thing found in anime/manga: Colonel Sanders:

Japanese People Love Colonel Sanders

This is another post that I started about a month ago, and I didn’t publish/finish it for the same reasons as the nosebleed post, but I’ll throw it up because it’s kind of similar.

I was reading Mahou Sensei Negima (which is awesome). And immediatly saw the name Colonel Sanders in a tournament, which struck me as awesome, odd, and nostalgic, because Colonel Sanders probably has more cameos in anime than any other character.

Colonel Sanders is fucking everything. Like, honestly. I just saw him in Ai Kora too! Let’s see how many aspects I can find:

I’m pretty sure he’s in more stuff, but I can’t remember what. If you’ve watched a lot of anime, you know that the Colonel is a common occurrence, and that is both odd and awesome. That’s all I have to say. I realize that this post was not that great. My next one will have actual content though. Also, only one of these screeshits was found via google (the last one).

Video Girl Ai Should Be Viewed Now

This is an awesome freaking show. Awesome. Go watch it. Go watch it and come back here to read this review. Actually, I’m not including any spoilers, so you can read this right now. But come back anyway and give me more hits, because Eye Sedso. Not only will you be giving me one extra hit, but you’ll also……..well……you’ll be giving me one extra hit.

Video Girl Ai

Originally, I came across this  anime on 2-D Teleidescope, in this post. I made promises to watch this show, but forgot to write the show down and thus forgot to watch it, because I suck. Months later (few days ago), I came across the manga, because lately I’ve been obsessed with manga (I’ve actually been obsessed with both. In between episodes of anime I read chapters of manga. I do this for about 4 hours a day. Is that wrong? If so then I don’t want to be right). Anyway, I came across the manga, and suddenly, my mind became clearer than something that you could see through perfectly……like a window or something. My mind had been jogged like a person who is being forced to run a distance, but not at such a rapid pace that it would be considered a “run”. All shitty analogies aside (I try and make them shitty, in case you haven’t realized by now) I had suddenly rememberd the name. I knew had heard it somewhere, but fuck……where? I couldn’t remember. I began the manga. After about 2 chapters, the whole plot came back to me, and I remembered everything:

  • The fact that it was animated.
  • The fact that I had read about on a blog.
  • The fact that I left a comment on said blog saying that I’d watch it.
  • The fact that I thought the show looked awesome.
  • The fact that the blog in question had a white background.
  • The fact that it was 90′s anime (the best kind).
  • The entire general plot.

I still couldn’t remember the blog name, but fuck, I really wanted to watch this now. And so I did. I loved it. I loved it so much, that I decided I was going to write a post about it. But then I went to bed. And then, once again, I forgot about it. And wouldn’t you know how life decides to work things out? Today I read this article, and remembered not only that this (2-D Teleidescope) was the origin of my decision to watch Video Girl Ai, but also that I had wanted to write a post about it. It all comes full circle in the end, and now here I am.

Unfortunatly, I didn’t take any screenshits (that’s right, I’m calling them screenshits now, because it sounds funny) except for this one and one more, that I guess I deleted:

Let’s talk about this picture. Video Girl Ai has slapstick. In  case you don’t know, slapstick is fucking great, and can’t actually be worn out, as it is insinuated in the subtitles above. But don’t turn your head just yet and say something along the lines of “Oh, posh, another dumb slapstick anime?” Because Video Girl Ai actually has a great plot, and it gets pretty serious as it progresses, yet the blend of everything: comedy, romance, seriousness, drama, perverseness (there’s a bit), is combined into a gradual shift. To say it more clearly: The plot starts off as funny slapstick and slowly shifts toward serious drama in a way where you don’t really ever notice it shifting from one genre to the next, which is the sign of a good anime/movie/etc.

The Plot

So the plot is pretty simple. A kid (Yota) whose heart was just broken gets a video from an odd video rental place, and pops it it. Up comes this girl named Ai on the screen. Little does our hero know, but these videos are special, and the girls in them literally pop out of the screen and come to life seven days after the buyer watches the movie. Their whole purpose is to comfort the buyer of the video (in this case, Ai is there to comfort Yota). But Yota has been using a shitty, broke ass, piece of shit VCR (that’s right, it’s the 90′s bitch!), and so all sorts of things happen the The video girl, Ai, that aren’t really supposed to happen (you’ll learn all about that as you watch this).

I’m not going to say anymore, except for my final grade. It’s only 6 episodes long, but it has the quality and semblance of a good anime movie, and I would recommend it.

FINAL GRADE = 5*

There’s a reason for it not getting a 5^^, but I’m not going to tell you it. Neither is Bill, who is currently renting a video.

The 100K Post

Well, I finally did it. I reached 100,000 views on my ISSS, Eye Sedso. First, look at this:

Lol, the amount of Smaxx reminds me of binary (in case you're wondering, it means nothing in binary).

So in this self-glorifying post, what should I talk about? Before I do anything, I have to thank the number one supporter of Eye Sedso:

Where would I be if it weren’t for Google? My post would have almost no pictures, aside from screen shots that I take myself. I realize that using pictures via Google image search is the same as taking them from some other site, but I don’t give a shit, because I have an ISSS, and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Anyway, back to this post, which is all about me.

I am the best. As proof, my site has garnered more views than the amount of gold coins found inside a chest filled with 99,999 gold coins. That’s right, more than that. I rule. Take a look at these graphs, which clearly display my awesomeness:

So what does all of this bullshit mean? I don’t know, make your own assesments, I’m too busy being awesome to write any type of opinion on it. Let’s see, now I’ll either make you feel great, or make you feel left out, but if you feel left out, it’s only because you suck and don’t comment enough (by my standards). I’m going to dish out some awards. Some will be to me, most will be to you.

Awards

Award(s) Number 1: Loyal Followers

Here, I will link to all loyal followers. Now, you might come here everyday and read/re-read/masturbate to the shit that I put up. For the record, that would be fine with me, but don’t expect me to throw your name down if you haven’t commented or left any hint that you visit Eye Sedso. And I even went to such lengths as to not only LINK to said site, but also provide pictures of their avatars. With that being said:

Glo the Legend:

Well duh, almost half of the comments made here are from me. I’m number one assholes! But that only proves that I always reply to every comment made here. not because I care about what you said, but because I always must have last word (except on other sites sometimes).

Baka-Raptor:

Not only does he comment on most of my posts, but he even links to me, and when he does, it usually means that I get a huge boost in hits. Just look at July, I think know that he linked to me after I wrote the biographical post about his trip to England.  I wrote that post at the end of June. The next month was my highest on record hits wise. I think I’ve made my point. He also tends to suggest anime/manga that are generally awesome.

Kluxorious:

I call her klux, because it sounds cool to me, and because I have an ISSS, so I can do pretty much whatever I want. Whenever I write a post, it’s almost a given that I’m going to see at least one (and in many cases more) comment(s) from Klux. In case you don’t know, we joke to each other about being married, but little does she know, I secretly fly to Malaysia and stalk her while she and her several boyfriends/escorts (yes, I know about all 9 of them) hang out at The Roost, which is a completely awesome place. Like Baka-Raptor, she has also been known to link here, and that makes me happy in the pants. The first time she linked to me, I got a huge boner. The End.

Yi:

Whenever I see the name, “Yi” I just want to yell out “Yi YI!” like some black rapper dude would do (no racist). In fact, I usually do (again, no racist). Yi is someone who comments here fairly consistantly, and while it’s not ever single post, it’s still a lot more than I can really expect anyone to. She posts here a good amount. Besides this, she enjoys anime/manga that deals with lesbians, which I tend to like, despite being a straight male with huge muscles and a chiseled physique. Her avatar is awesome and I think she drew it herself (but I honestly don’t know). Anyway, that’s what I know.

adaywithoutme:

Wow, another female blogger. I guess I really appeal to the feminine anime bloggers, despite occasionally bashing women (yes, that is my one and only blog, and it’s even shittier than this ISSS. I’ve actually long since abandoned it). We were going to do a podcast, although honestly I’m so fucking busy with school that it might have to wait till summer before anything ever gets done…..anyway…..Day is the most bad ass female blogger (or maybe simply female) ever. She was in the God damn Army, and killed 7 huge guys with one arm, while laughing and belittling said huge guys. After she gave them a proper thrashing, she walked away while performing the motion that one does when they are done with a chore or something, where you kind of clap (or rub?) your hands together.

TJ:

Here’s a dude with a way better site than mine. He’s the one who kind of got me into the whole manga thing, simply from seeing a review or something on his blog. I started reading FMA because of this (I think), and it just snowballed. XBlade? Awesome. Gantz is probably the big one. Anyway, great taste in manga (I’m about to pick up To-Love ru), and he also takes time to comment here, even though i don’t really comment much on his blog (because they’re mainly reviews of things I haven’t read).

blur:

This mofo actually comments here a lot, and links here quite a bit. Sometimes, he may not agree with anything I say, and even though he liked K-On, I still must say that he seems like a generally good guy, and I enjoy reading his blog, which has a fucking sick name, which I always feel the need to yell with a sense of surprise added to it:

Example: “NaNEEEEEE!!!!?!?” (I really elongate the “E”)

Yea, I embellish it. However, just because I enjoy you’re blog doesn’t mean you’re a loyal follower. He comments. He links. He does his job. Keep doing your thing you fucking pedophile.

Those are what I would say the big five are. They comment/link/masturbate to Eye Sedso more than a lot of people, but here’s a few more:

Canne:

Canne is relatively new to Eye Sedso (I feel like), yet already has posted a vast array of comments, which I love.

oballer:

Well, why is oballer down here? It’s because I actually am friends with him in real life. Likewise he comments here a lot, and I do the same on his blog, even though it has such a generic name. I will also link to him on the rare occasion that he actually posts something (which I see he just did). A few months ago, he quit anime, and has since realized the err of his ways. For some weird reason, he almost has 100K, even though he never posts.

Refuse to Come Wack:

This is the only other person besides me who has an ISSS. What glee! Needless to say, this ISSSer has an ISSS filled with witty humor, and a bunch or greatness. The reason why he is so far down here, is, like oballer, I know him in real life, and he also never has anything good to say when he comments here, because he doesn’t like anime (despite the fact that he got me into anime). What a joke.

Well, that takes care of all the losers who have absolutely no life other than reading my ISSS religiously. However, if you didn’t make this list, you should probably take a second to sit down and think about where your life is headed. Can you really afford to not read Eye Sedso religiously? I don’t think that it’s wise to leave up to chance.

Seriously though, I can’t list everybody, and there are certainly more that I can (I’m truly grateful to anyone who reads my ISSS, whether you comment or not, and there are people who comment a lot who I didn’t list), but I don’t want to make this post too long. And if I do decide to make it long. I want it to be about me, and my 100,000 views.

First Ever Comment

Baka Raptor

Baka-Raptor wins the award for first ever comment (no surprise here, since he’s pretty much the only person who knows/supports this site), which was made here, back when no one knew this God damn site existed. I think I’ll take this time to point out that oballer is a hypocrite, as determined by his comment (which was the second comment ever) here. How is that hypocritical? Well, notice that his name is not oballer, but instead Jimmy D. Jimmy D is not his real name, and at the time of the comment, he had already seen Deathnote, hadn’t seen Higurashi. At that point in time, I was getting a lot of crap for having a blog (even though it was an ISSS, not a blog) from these two. Obviously since I linked to them, you can tell that they soon became jealous of my site, and promptly made their own. In a way, I am their father.

Best Stalker of Eye Sedso

notouchi

Proof that I never forget anything, nor leave anyone out, the best stalker award goes to notouchi. She laid claim to being an Eye Sedso stalker, and has done such a good job stalking, that one would not even be able to tell she is even stalking me. Even I can’t tell she’s stalking me. That’s a sign of a good stalker. Truth be told, I don’t have a clue who the fuck this is, she commented here once, and laid claim to being a stalker (albeit, obviously not true…..if it is, I might be aroused by it).

Most Referenced Media

Probably Family Guy. I love to link to Family Guy quotes. And why not? Family Guy is awesome!

Most Awesome

Glo the Legend:

Eye am awesome.

Best Video Game that I’m Currently Playing

For the record, I did not get this off of google, I screen shotted it myself. I also tried to make it my facebook picture, but it didn't work so I gave up.

Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I’m playing it via rom/emulator, and since I’ve already beaten it enough times to memorize every detail, I’m using cheats, mainly, “Press L to Levitate”……do you realize how much you can do with that cheat? You can pretty much beat any temple (almost) as a kid (unless you need the metal boots). I almost beat the Shadow Temple as a kid (until I needed metal boots). Technically, you could not beat any temples and beat the game, as long as you get the required equipment to beat Ganondorf. I also borrowed Game Shark from a friend of mine, and plan to use that for all sorts of shit. I’ve only used it once for Goldeneye, and it was awesome. Playing any multiplayer level with walk through doors cheat on immediately makes any level huge and awesome, especially Archive. btw, I OWN at that game, because I’m FUCKING AWESOME.

Next Segment

Reaching 100K in views to me is a lot like graduating High School. Now you’ve proved yourself to be worthy, but it’s not over yet. I kick ass. Let me now talk about some bullshit, also known as, my writing style.

My grammar sucks. I make a shitload of typing/spelling mistakes. I might even input incorrect and/or misguided information into my posts. Too bad huh? But as far as style goes, Mine has changed. In the beginning, you might be able to sense a hint of Maddox-like  writing style. That’s because at the time, I had just found his Awesome Page, and was reading it all. The writing style rubbed off (and this was mainly just in the very very very beginning. As I read some of my early bullshit, I realized that my style (in my opinion) is much better. I mean, as a rookie, dude I had no idea what I was doing. I was like a blind man trapped in the middle of the desert, completely fucking lost. I made retarded posts (a tradition that still lives strong to this day), that made….you know what, fuck it, I’m tired. You can email me if you want to send presents to my house….I’ll give you the address (but I’m not paying shipping and handling).

Cheers to me!

EDIT: Speaking of Maddox, he apparently wrote another book, entitled, I Am Better That Your Kids. That sounds like something I could jerk off to. Pretty much, it’s a book of THIS and THIS, which are literally my two favorite posts in internet history of all posts ever made EVER.

DOUBLE EDIT: Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile!

Kampfer: I Felt Like…

Maybe I’m at fault here, because I tend to like every show I watch, but over the course of its running, a lot of people were hating on Kampfer. Guess what? I actually liked it. A lot. And here’s why:

Breaking the 4th Wall

I LOVE it when characters break the 4th wall. It doesn’t matter how they do it, I will love it. In this anime, the characters always make fun of the seiyu that voice the characters, or point them out in some way. For example. two character will start arguing with each other, and then go on to insult one another’s seiyu. I loved that. Here’s a small example, which I found funny, but it wasn’t as funny as the episode where the characters (Akane and Natsuru) argue.

And speaking of Mamiko Noto….check out this line that her character drops, which in turn made me pump my fist and laugh, thus making it a combo attack of both a BAM, 4th wall breakage, and comedy. I literally didn’t even read the subtitles (recognized the quote by sound, and replayed it several times), because I already knew what it meant, and was too busy celebrating. I might have even peed a little. Mamiko Noto, you kick ass!

Mamiko Noto is saying this line. If you don't get the reference, go watch Jigoku Shojo, and kick yourself in the most painful way possible for not already watching it.

Surprises

I may have mentioned in a previous InuYasha post how much I love surprises in a way where a character has powers and then they reveal that they have said powers to someone else who doesn’t know that they had said powers in the first place, didn’t I? For example. At this point in the story Mikoto doesn’t know that Natsuru is actually a Kampfer. Well guess what’s for dinner?

Nooo Way! (relevant part at 35 seconds)

Look at this expression. AWESOME. This could fill three requirements of awesome: Comedy, Awesome expressions, and surprise BAM moment. All in this one screen shot alone.

As you should know, surprises such as these are automatic BAM moments. So that means that so far, this anime has so much that I love, and I’ve barely scraped the surface.

Characters de la Awesome

The cast of Kampfer was one of the best I’ve seen. That’s right, I just said that. Don’t like it? Go fuck yourself. Maybe even kill yourself, see if I care. I don’t have feelings because feelings are gay. By the way, if you didn’t click that link, you’re missing out on something hilarious. Anyway, here they are, my characters, from best to worst.

Shizuku Sanga – Well, originally, I was a huge fan of Akane, but I’ll admit, after a while I couldn’t stop myself from hopping on this badwagon and riding it like a girl that had only recently been introduced to the pleasures of sex. I rode that bandwagon hard, and for good reason too. Shizuku is all of these things:

  • Calm and controlling – She never gets riled, and she always has a sneeky plan, even when she doesn’t actually have a sneeky plan.
  • Her fan club at school – Her fan club already has accepted the fact that she is way out of their league, so they simply want to be abused by her. Does any other fan club bow down like that? Maybe.
  • She knows all.
  • She’s just cool. It’s that kind of cool that is tough to describe. Like, we all know that Fonzi is cool. Even if you don’t know why, you know he’s cool (there are several reasons why he’s cool, but for the sake of this argument, let’s pretend we don’t know them).
  • She’s assertive. Just like girls like assertive guys, some guys like assertive girls. Unfortunately, Natsuru isn’t one of them, as he is a pussy. But here’s a taste (lol) of how assertive she is:

Tongue!

Akane Mishima - When I give her the place of second, it really isn’t by much. There’s just something awesome about a shy, somewhat clumsy and all together good girl transforming into a gun happy bad-ass bitch with one of the foulest mouths I’ve ever seen in anime. In case you’re wondering how foul her mouth was, she kind of reminded me of The President from Detroit Metal City (although no one is touching The President in this category). God she’s cool. This is almost a tie, but for some reason the shy Akane version stopped thinking that everything was related to sex, which was what I felt really completed her as a character.

Mikoto Kondo – She travels around the world through most of the first half, and then comes home. I’m not sure why I liked her, probably because she was a bit nutty. She pulled a pot of curry out of her bag in one episode, and is developing into a fine stalker prospect (for Natsuru).

Two of the Four White Kampfers – We have one who is a typical tsundere (always says stuff like, don’t misunderstand), and one who is quiet, but always talks about blood and brains exploding (in a shy way).  I wish that these two characters got into the mix a bit more, because they were stereotypical and awesome (at least the tsundere was, although she wasn’t even tsundere, she just talked like one).

Strangled Stray Dog – This is the Entrail Animal voiced by Mamiko Noto, who has almost no lines, I had to throw her up here simply because of the line mentioned before. That was the dagger that made this series awesome.

Kaede Sakura – On a good note, she’s a raging lesbian, and by raging, I mean she’s a slightly more agressive lesbian than most. She does get into the habit of being kind of annoying at times, but she provides a lot of comedy in my opinion. Of course, she ends up being more than originally thought, and that adds to her awesomeness (she’s also a huge lesbian, sometimes a massive lesbian).

Natsuru Seno – What a pussy. Probably the only character in the show I didn’t like. I mean, sure, he can throw his stuffed animal around when it talks back, but when he realizes that he can transform into a girl with massive tits, he doesn’t even take advantage. HE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK AT HIMSELF NAKED! I’ve already gone over what I would have been doing. What is this guy, a fucking pussy? (yes) Besides this fact, he could also bag every girl in this show, as both a guy and a girl. In fact, I bet money that he could easily have a foursome (which is really hard to do) with them. And instead he chooses to get with none of them throughout the show. What a douche bag.

The Ending

The ending was completely retarded. It was literally fucking retarded. But it was retarded in a fun, stupid, retarded sort of way, and even though I was almost embarrassed to be watching something so retarded, I enjoyed it. I’m speaking mainly of episode 11. There was singing, and stuffed animals becoming huge fucking spirit things, and more gay singing, and ripped clothes, and it was fucking stupid. I laughed my ass off at the stupidness. Want to know how retarded it was?

The song these stuffed animals are singing is one whose name escapes me, but it’s a rather famous song, and you would know it when you here it. It’s a song that does not belong in any anime, and should never be sung in Japanese. This was completely retarded, and is the main reason that this anime fails to reach a 5* on my grading system (to be honest, it’s Kampfer, it wasn’t going to get anything higher than a 5 anyway).

FINAL GRADE = 5

Bill got Kampfered up by Shizuku, but then beat the shit out of episode 11.

EDIT: I completely forgot to mention how awesome the comedy was. There were some moments where I really laughed pretty hard. One moment, I replayed over and over (that might have been the Mamiko Noto moment).

Manga Monday: Yakuza Girl

Two words that go perfectly together. Yakuza and Girl. You just know there’s going to be a bad ass girl in this. Needless to say, after seeing the title page of a girl wielding a samurai sword, I knew I was going to like this manga.

Yakuza Girl

First of all, here is some background of what the story is. I could write my own thing, but I’m too lazy, so I’ll copy and paste it from somewhere:

Senguu Fumihiro is a young boy that made a promise to his dying grandmother to find a good wife for himself. With this intention he enrolls in a prestigious school but on the first day his world turns upside down when all the students begin to kill each other and one of them even turns into a monster. He is saved by a girl named “Akari”, sent to protect him by one of the factions that rule the school.

Wow, that was much easier than writing it all out. Anyway, here is my review (spoilers, obviously [hence, "review"])

Review

This was a good manga (good enough to write about anyway), but honestly, I was kind of confused by the whole airplane shit. Apparently someone froze the Enola Gay before it dropped the bomb or something, and had to keep it frozen, or else the world would be destroyed. I honestly still am not sure what the fuck it was all about. But the story started out pretty awesome. Bloody, death, some comedy……it was pretty good. Then we get powers, and all sort of Enola Gay shit, and everything got jumbled. But still. I was able to stay with it enough to enjoy it. You wanna know what I didn’t like (but actually kind of did like)? The final frame:

Honestly, how can you end a story like this? Who is this person? Reiko? Just a random slut? WHAT THE HELL!? Did Senguu and Akari go back in time (I still don’t know how they went from modern Japan to WWII Japan)? Could this be Senguu’s grandmother? WHAT……THE…….FUCK!?

FINAL GRADE = 5

With this, I have finally completed 10 manga. Whoopie-dee-doo.

UPDATE: 11 now. Also, XBlade chapter 23 came out….time to read it.

Let’s Use That

Do you have any idea what I”m talking about when I say, “that”? Of course you don’t, and it pisses me off in anime, when the characters say something like,

With “that”? Oh yeah, that. I’m sure everyone knows exactly what you mean when you say “that“, don’t they?

I can’t believe they know what the fuck each of them is talking about! I mean, okay, obviously the studios/writers use the word that because they want to make something a surprise, but why do they always have to say, that? Why can’t they say something that sounds more realistic, like, “Let’s use out secret weapon?” If I were one of these girls in the picture (or any person in one of a thousand scenarios) and one of my allies said, “Let’s use that.” I would turn to them and ask them what the fuck they were talking about. Yet, in anime, it’s used a lot, and not just in Bleach.

I’ve been meaning to write this post for about a year, and this scenario in Bleach just served as a spark that reminded me of that my desire to write said post. There are several reasons why using “that” is stupid:

  • It’s annoying to hear a character use that in the ways I am referring. And not annoying as in “Oh why do they have to leave me in suspense!?” I mean it’s annoying in, “Why don’t they just say what it is they’re going to do?”
  • It’s lazy. Using the word that just means the the writers were too lazy to find a synonym that could replace that, but would still create a sense of mystery surrounding that.
  • It’s a cheap way to try and add suspense to something.
  • 60% of the time, it doesn’t work, every time. This is the most ineffective literary device ever used. Whenever I see it, I just want to gouge my eyes out, but then I realize that I already gouged them out while watching K-On, Kanamemo, and Chu-Bra. That’s right, I have had three eyes. I’m getting new one’s on Thursday……anyway, it’s also ineffective because usually, I’m not even surprised when the characters finally reveal what that is actually referring to.

I wrote more of this, but then my GOD DAMN COMPUTER CRASHED (blue screen), and I can’t remember my many other valid points, which I assure you, could have won me a Noble Prize of Literature. Instead, I’ll leave you with a thought and a picture:

A THOUGHT:

Using the word that to replace something else in a story is BULLSHIT.

AND A PICTURE:

The above is from Mysterious Girlfriend X, a fantastic manga.