Gym Kicked Ass

Note of the Author: This long post is pretty long, and certainly isn’t short. Neither is it a medium length, but it is instead rather long. Be not concerned with calling this post neither short nor medium in length, accepting only that this post is indeed long. Extravagantly small is right out.

Okay seriously though, this post is kind of long, and broken into two sections. Accepting that the sections in the post are not one, nor three, but t-

Err-hem

Right. So. The first section deals with my personal, awesome, super, and at some points humorous gym experiences. (2nd through 4th period are the funniest ones). The second section goes on to talk about Gym in anime, and what I think about it. So if you don’t care about gym (wtf?) and just want the anime section then just  scroll down. Or just don’t read this post, and keep being a bitch. If you somehow manage to read this whole post, you win something. What do you win? I have no clue. Probably nothing.

Remember the subject in High School that no one really seemed to like (at least that’s how it was at my school). Maybe you’re still in high school, and maybe, even as you read this, you’re in your library right now, not doing that History report that’s due soon. Thanks for choosing Eye Sedso over work. Anyway, the subject I’m talking about is, of course, GYM (aka P.E., which is the way douchebags says it).

Ahh...a sight for sore eyes.....rather, my eyes are sore from looking at this....not the greatest of views...

Gym. We all know it as the class where the fat lesbian gym teacher would make us play some kind of sport like badminton or softball or something. It’s a given, everyone has at least one gym teacher who is a lesbian, or at least lesbian-looking. And I’m not talking about the hot kind of lesbian. Those kinds of lesbians, by law, are not allowed to become Gym teachers. I’m talking about the butch lesbians, which the really short hair. The ones that try and talk in the deepest voice possible, and don’t shave any of their body hair. Sometimes, these lesbians walk around with a sausage stuffed down their pants, just to see what it’s like. I was lucky enough to have three lesbians like this. The first was in elementary school, and I didn’t understand what she was exactly, because she was so guy-like, yet called miss. I became traumatized from the incident, and now I love lesbians, especially in anime.

But I digress. In my days, nobody seemed to like gym. They would complain and figure out ways to not have to do anything. Most of these people were girls. Specifically, BLONDE GIRLS (God I hate blondes). Now I am very competitive by nature. Even in the Aniblog competition, anything less than the Championship Tophy that Snark is purchasing with his own money and sending to the winner will piss me off. If I’m out the first round, I might even delete my ISSS. That’s how com–…..wait….what’s that? He’s not buying a trophy? Really? It’s a tournament, you’ve got to have a trop-

I digress again. It’s pretty obvious, that due to my competitive nature, I not only looked forward to Gym, but I also DOMINATED in Gym (because no one really tries, so it’s not hard). In fact, because of my competitaveness, I got into trouble a few times/created a few funny situations, which I will get to in a bit.

1st Period: Handball

Handball: The sport where even girls look bad-ass when they play.

In gym, a subject that only lasted half a year in my high school (the other half was Health [bleecchh]), there were a few sports that select students waited the whole year to play. The most anticipated of these sports, and all PE events-  nay, all High School Events, was the completely ass-kickingly awesome sport of Handball.

Handball, for those who don’t know, is a game where the object is to throw the ball…..in the goal. DUH. Here’s awesome video(s):

Handball is something that everyone should play. Now, lucky, my Gym teacher was, at least at the time, awesome, and so we were able to play with actual handballs, aka, they bounced, they had a leathery feel to them, they were easy to throw. They also only lasted a half of a year before most of them were broken or stolen, and then we had to switch to shitty gator balls. Now, we were all broken up into teams, and I’m pretty sure everyone took it completely seriously (in our Gym set up, you could choose one of four sports to play, and you would play that sport for the next month or so. It was a good deal). We loved handball so much that we even tried to start a handball club. How awesome would that have been? I”LL TELL YOU! VERY AWESOME!!!

For those of you who don’t get the rules, you dribble the ball, and you have to shoot from behind that semi-circular line. Of course, you can jump over it and score, as long as you’re feet aren’t touching the ground, hence we preformed all sorts of aerial maneuvers in games. It’s kind of like a mix between basketball, hockey, and Air Master.

Anyway, Handball kind of sucked the next year, because no one except me was as serious about it, and the balls were shitty, but the first year we played, Handball kicked ass. God damn I want to play some Handball right now.

2nd Period: Softball

The Red Sox should probably actually consider signing Chewbacca, considering the shittyness of their bullpen right now.

I love softball. It kicks ass. One thing about softball in gym, is you couldn’t strike out. Of course, this rule was abolished when I had an at bat lasting about 10 minutes, in which I recorded about 32 swinging strikes. Then I batted lefty and got a hit. I should also mention that there were about 30 people in the outfield, and the whole thing was shitty. This was before they decided to separate gym into 4 different sports which helped to lower overcrowding of a specific sport. Anyway, this at bat was a fluke, which is why I’m sharing it with you. I hit bombs son….BOMBS SON BOMBS!!!!

Anyway, here’s a funny story: I had the habit of hitting a ball, tossing my bat, and sprinting as fast as I could to first. Little did I know, I wasn’t really tossing the bat, but instead, I was throwing launching it at the teacher. Whoops, my bad. After doing this about 4 times in a row, and getting yelled at by pretty much everyone, I was forced to sit down. The teacher in charge at this time was one, Mrs. Leahy, a short, fat teacher with a bowl cut. She was awesome when she created handball, but perhaps it was this incident that made her start to be a HUGE BITCH (technically, that’s a pun, and you’ll see what I mean later on).

3rd Period: Bloody Nose Girl

Volleyball was fun. I remember freshman year, I was serving in one game. Now, one thing you should know is, when I serve, I don’t have any control over where the ball is going to end up. It might be a nasty ace. It might go directly to my left. It might even go behind me. But one thing I can do, is hit the ball really really really really hard, because I just curl my hand up into a fist and smash the crap out of it (I have since changed the way I serve. My intramural team for college this year won the championship, and it was all because of me, and when I say all because of me, I mean not all because of me).

Unfortunately for this small, frail girl, she was standing in front of me when I was serving, and for some reason, was turned toward me so as to watch me serve. Let me just say, that’s not what you’re supposed to do. Our teacher even said, “Don’t face someone when their serving”. Guess what? LINE DRIVE TO THE FUCKING FACE!

Let it be known that this is the proudest moment that I’ve ever had in gym. And let it be known that I did the EXACT SAME THING TO THE EXACT SAME GIRL THE VERY NEXT CLASS!!!!!!! She never talked to me again, which is fine because she wasn’t sucking my dick at any point.

4th Period: Floor Hockey

Let it be known that I take my Gym seriously. How seriously? Well I was playing floor hockey, and the ball was kind of stuck in the corner, I was trying to dig it out against some kid on the other team, and wouldn’t you know it, my teacher blows the whistle. At first, I assumed that she simply mistook the whistle for a dick, because there was no reason for the whistle to have been blown. Then I realized that this was silly, because huge lesbians with bowl cuts don’t suck dicks. Next thing I know, she tells me to sit down because I was being “too out of control”. WRONG MOVE LADY. YOU DON’T DO THAT TO EL GUAPO. (3:17)

I threw the stick down and immediately tried to fight her. Well okay, I threw the stick down and my arms up, and said, “For what!?” in a rather loud tone (as you can tell from the punctuation marks that I used). I didn’t actually try and fight her. After she sent me to the principal’s office, I realized that I was making a huge deal out of a call in Gym class, and she was a fat whore with a fucking bowl haircut. The principal forced me to write a letter of apology, which I wrote in the most unsympathetic way possible with out actually seeming unsympathetic. IE: I wrote a page of bullshit.

Here, look at how she’s rated (I wonder if I’ll get in any leagal trouble for this): LINK

WHORE BITCH! WHY DID I GIVE HER 4 STARS FOR EVERYTHING!? GRRAAR! Go and rate her, and give her all zeros. Under the comment section, type: Because Eye Sedso! Will anyone actually do this? If you want to live, than yes.

A few months ago, I parked next to an SUV in a parking lot, and it was apparently her car, she complained to me that I parked too close, but not in a good way. A normal person would simply say something like: “You’re a little close, can you just move it over a bit?”

I would be happy to oblidge if someone said that. But this bitch is different. She’s fat and has a bowl cut. Her face also reminds me of Oscar the Grouch mixed with a smushed  potato. She simply stood there, and peered into the space between my car and her huge SUV, which is obviously the only thing that can support her massive weight. I looked at her and she made no attempt to communicate with me, so I shut my car off, OPENED MY DOOR WITH PLENTY OF ROOM, and got out of the car. She then kept peering in at my car. I wondered if she recognized me. I was going to say hello when she said:

“Little close there?”

I responded with: “Yea, haha.” and then I left. IF YOU WANT ME TO MOVE MY CAR THEN JUST TELL ME. DON’T FUCKING INSINUATE.

5th Period: I Played Hurt

Leave it all on the gym floor baby. Considering that I’m always hurt in some way though, this really is just a filler to try and get 8 periods (because school had 8 periods…or 7….I can’t actually remember to be honest).

6th Period: It’s AUTOMATIC

Who says all awesome gym things have to occur in high school? It was Middle school when me and fellow anime enthusiast, Oballer were playing kickball (probably dominating), and decided that no matter what happened, everything we did was automatic. Any ball kicked to any of us was an automatic out. Any time we were up? Automatic homer. IT’S AUTOMATIC SON! Pretty much the greatest boast ever created (it lasted from middle school till forever), and we said it literally after every play……

yea……

I guess you had to be there.

7th Period: Badmitton

KICKED ASS. Me and Zak Mayo. UNBEATABLE. SMASH FROM BACK COURT SON NO PROBLEM SON!

Seriously, I would force feed opponents volleys, and after the games, girls were all over my shuttlecock.

8th Period: WE DON’T MISS NO SHOTS!!!!!

Well, here we go again. Coin another phrase for the duo of Glothelegend and Oballer. This time it was us two, and two girls on a basketball team. One of the girls (Molly) stood around (I could’ve banged her I bet, she actually used to talk to me a lot, and flirt with me, but I didn’t understand what it meant). The other girl (Kelsey), was actually decent. Or at least she was good for a girl (Lord knows that girls-).

Anyway, after absolutely DESTROYING EVERYONE (in gym, we only had tournaments….yea, it was awesome), we decided that WE DON’T MISS NO SHOTS! SON! Werd.

So then we played the football players in the finals, 4, athletic, well-oiled machines, vs, me (who was skinny as fuck), a girl who did nothing, a girl who was okay, and oballer, who was on the basketball team and took most of our shots and got all the boards.

Did we win? FUCK YES WE DID! BBYYYYYYYYAAAAWWWWW!!!

Gym in Anime

Because we all remember this shit happening in gym, right?

Perhaps you decided to skip all of my shitty INCREDIBLY AWESOME gym stories and came down to this section, because you are interested in anime gym classes more than real life ones. Perhaps you simply thought that I was going to talk about bloomers, being that they’re in almost every anime that features gym class, and you happen to have a huge bloomers fetish. Well if you thought I was going to talk about bloomers, you were DEAD WRONG.

Bloomers

When I said that you were dead wrong, I meant that you were dead right. It seems to me that whenever you have a gym episode of any anime, it centers around two main topics: bloomers and swimsuits. Frankly, I never got to swim in gym, and needless to say, I was kind of mad. A nice pool session halfway through a day of sitting in a hot classroom sounds pretty good to me. But I’ll talk about that later. First things first. Bloomers.

I have never actually seen a real life girl in bloomers, and frankly, as a person who has never set foot in Japan, I doubt their scholarly existance. When I googled “bloomers”, all I got were these pants, which I’m pretty sure are made strictly for hookers on pirate ships:

Tell me with a straight face that this isn't a pirate hooker. You can't do it, mainly because you're probably never going to actually meet me in real life....I mean, I guess you could find a picture of me and talk to that, but that's just fuckin weird.

Pirate hookers aside, the only way I could find gym bloomers was to type in “anime bloomers.” Well, actually, that’s the only other thing I tried, but I bet it’s the only thing that would work. So regarding these mythical garments (the gym bloomers)… Does anyone wear them? I mean besides the people who have a fetish for them, and have their wives and girlfriends dress up like middle school gym clothes. Does anyone actually wear them for gym classes? I simply had to research this.

After actually searching, the only picture I could find was this one:

However, this girl is certainly not in gym class, and bloomers certainly don’t look good in her, which puts two thoughts in my mind:

  1. Girls don’t wear bloomers IRL.
  2. Girls probably shouldn’t wear bloomers IRL, because not all girls are good looking (see above photo…how old is that girl btw? Not old enough, or at least too age ambiguous.) Can you picture a fat girl in bloomers? How about an anorexically skinny girl? Eye Sedno.

Still, I didn’t want to leave my research half-assed, so I looked a bit longer. Finally I found a picture of Japanese girls in gym class, and no bloomers (picture not shown for legality purposes….actually I’m just too lazy). So what’s the deal? Did bloomers die or something? I think I recall them talking about bloomers in Ranma 1/2 or Azumanga Daioh….saying something like: “does anyone even wear bloomers anymore?” Don’t quote me on that though. Well, bloomers are still alive in anime, and probably will be forever. And I think that’s fine with most people.

Swimsuits

Oh you wanted a more fanservicy picture? Too fucking bad.

This is pretty much going to be me talking about how stupid it is that our school never had swimming as a gym activity. The Japanese apparently have it swim every chance they get in class, at least according to anime, which, as we all know, is exactly like real life Japan in EVERY WAY.

So as I was searching for “Japanese Gym Swimsuits,” just because I had never seen an actual person in one, and I accidentally got horny and jerked off. Not really, but I did see a lot of hot girls in swimwear. None of them, however, were Japanese, and none of them, I noticed, had anything to do with any school. Didn’t I type both words in the search bar? What the hell, Google?

It was at this point that I realized the search filter was on, which is a silly thing to do. I clicked it off.

Well, I finally found plenty of picture of girls in bloomers and swimsuits now. Only thing was, they were all porn sites. I got horny and jerked off 6 more times (actually I didn’t jerk off at all, which is surprising?). Whatever, it became clear that I wasn’t going to find an actual girl in a school swimsuit, but that’s fine, she’d probably be underage anyway, which is a waste really.

So what gives? Why no swimming at my school? I don’t want to hear any BS like, “Oh we don’t have a pool” or “There’s not enough time to get changed.” That’s bullshit. I mean, no, we don’t have a pool, but there’s one right down the street. And yea, there probably wouldn’t be enough time….our school should buy a pool. Plenty of other schools had pools. Our school was probably bigger than all of those other schools, but did we have a pool? NOOOO. We have to put all of out money into FUCKING VO-AG and our FUCKING FOOTBALL TEAM (which always seems to lose the state championship). Just because most of our VO-AG (agricutlture) does our football fields and shit means that we have to give them new buildings and stuff? I call BS.

Whatever. I hate both anime episodes related to bloomers and swimming. They’re never funny, they’re usually fanservice of some kind, and the only pool episode/gym episode I enjoyed was from Azumanga Daioh, because nothing is bad about that show. So what am I saying from this post?

Real Life Gym is awesome, but Anime Gym SUCKS.

Further Reading

Gym Class Heroes piss me off. Ever try finding pictures of any type of gym class activities on google? FORGET IT.

B Gata H Kei 4: Half and Half

So I got back from Spring Weekend, which was a fun time indeed. I would love to share with you all what I did there, but I completely blacked out the first night, and what happens at Uconn, stays at Uconn. Besides, I don’t want to bore you all, so in that case…

I don’t  know how long I can keep this up. At this point, watching an episode of B Gata H Kei is beginning to become a bit of a hassel. I mean, true, I laugh several times at every episode, but at the same time, this shit’s starting to get repetitive. An anime can be repetitive in a good way, but B Gata H Kei isn’t becoming repetitive in a bad way: by repeating stupid shit.

This OP not only still sucks, but I actually got physically angry at it this time, and it has started to make me hate this show. is stupid:

You know where you can stick that flute? RIGHT IN YOUR SCCOOOZATCH!!! FUNGUL!

The first two episodes were awesome. The third was a bit of a bore. The fourth was much funnier, but the un-originality is starting to get to me, and sadly, this is starting to remind of me Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu: Purezzaonavindwhateverthefuckit’scalled. The first season of Haruka was great. The second one started strong, and then became a heap of shit. This is following this trend in worst way possible:

Character Pussification

Do we REALLY need this amount of long pauses and second guessing to know that Kosuda is a pussy? We understand Kosuda's persona, now just get on with it!

Why? Why oh why do they do it? Why do writers decide that most people want to see characters who are huge vaginas? It’s like they love to create a guy who can’t ask out girl and gets flustered easily. In BGHK, even Yamada, who is the aggressor, is a pussy. She talks the talk, but when it comes time to walk the walk, she changes into Pussy-women. These characters are starting to piss me off. I mean, how much longer is it going to take for Yamada to get laid? I want her to get laid soon, then see her try and move on to another guy. This could create all sorts of good shit between her and Kosuda. Instead both her and Kosuda are dragging their “relationship” along at a pace whose retardedness can be matched only by rose_darkangel’s thinking process.

I mean, okay, I’ll give Yamada some credit in this episode. Even though she was a huge vagina when it really came down to it, she did manage to “steal second” and force Kosuda to grab her tits. She even went looking for a Love Hotel. But then she get’s all pussyfied after a kiss? You’re never going to get laid if you don’t man up and come on strong. STICK TO THE GAME PLAN BITCH (in fact, take the time to make a game plan before hand). Come onnnnnnnnnn.

Despite all of this, I would say that the only thing really wrong with these episodes lately is that they are tending to drag just a bit during the most boring parts. Like when Yamada and Kosuda are in the middle of an awkward silence. We get it, they’re both pussies. Can we get some funny, retarded/sexually perverse humor now?

What a flat ass.

What a whore. Why did I even create this screenshot?

This was actually really funny, considering the situational context.

See, this is why I want to watch this show. I don’t really care about the whole “love story” and what-not. I just care about seeing funny stuff. Yamada failing, Yamada doing funny/retarded perverted things, Yamada performing a Noblewomens Laugh, Yamada failing, and Yamada failing are only some of the things that I want from this show. Repetition is fine, as long as the content being repeated is funny and awesome. They’re repeating the wrong things in these episodes.

In general, this episode wasn’t really bad. In fact, it was pretty funny. But they really need to pick up the pace in some parts.

The Best Assistant Manager in Anime

Again, I’m a bit late with this, but I don’t give a shit. I’m not going to be putting up anything new this weekend, as I will be in a constant drunken stupor up at Uconn for Spring Weekend. I don’t know why I’m going, since there are people there, and I hate people, but I should be drunk enough to not feel bad after making fun of them all, so it should be fun. Feel free to get into the spirit and leave all sorts of random, drunken sounding comments all over the place. Or don’t. Here’s the post:

I have recently talked about my semi-disdain for Working!!, which isn’t really a bad show, but is, in my eyes, filled with little flaws that irk me to the point of slamming my head against a brick wall until my skull fractures. Well, maybe not to that point, but still, some things about it annoy me or put me off. But one things that almost makes up for all of that is the Manager of the restaurant:

Kyoko Shirafuji

Now, I don’t know why I feel the need to keep highlighting characters from shows this season, but I’ve been writing drafts all over the place. Like my last character post (Takumi Usui), Kyoko relies heavily on apathy.

Shift #1: Apathy

Does she care about her job? Not really. Maybe a little, but honestly, she doesn’t do shit. When whatshisname-pedophile kid comes to work, she tells him that she will not teach him anything about the job, which leads pedophile-kid to think that she wants him to learn by experience, when really, she just hasn’t bothered to learn anything about the job herself, despite being the assistant manager.

Take a look at her eyes. They always give off the emotion of non-caring. They look low, almost half closed. In the picture above, she almost looks high, because of that pot leaf and the odd color scheme, but that doesn’t really have anything to do with the show. Here’s another example of her absolute non-caring for the job:

Yachiyo is a huge lesbian for Kyoko, and that makes her the second best character of this show....not to mention her katana. Yachiyo rules too.

Kyoko is living the dream. She doesn’t do shit! Someday, I want to realize my dream of doing nothing. Yes, doing nothing. My dream job… If only I could get paid for sleeping and watching anime. *Sigh~*

Shift #2: Attitude Toward Customers

This is also a form of apathy. She doesn’t really care about backlash from treating customers like shit. This makes her kind of bad ass. Take this example. A lady complains that it’s a bit warm in the room:

She proceeds to call the customer an ugly fat lady. And STILL her eyes are only half open. AWESOME. That’s true non-caring at it’s best….we could all learn a thing or two from Kyoko. Lastly, we have the famous “kicking the shit out of a customer and then mugging them” scene:

So not only does she kick the shit out of a customer, but then she tells said customer to pretty much go fuck himself. The customers leave, and then Kyoko calls in a favor.

That’s something bad ass…..like a tambourine. And what’s more is the other employees know that she acts like this, and when the confront her about treating the  customers like this, she just says that if the amount of customers decreases too much, she can just have her “friends” force some people to come to the restaurant. AWESOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME.

Also, notice how her eyes in every scene are still apathetic. Yes indeed, it Kyoko wasn’t in Working!!, then Working!! would suck.

BUT WAIT A SECOND! EPISODE 3!

AWESOME EPISODE. I like this show now. Not only did we finally learn the backstory of the Yachiyo’s katana, but we also had an AWESOME character who is looking for her wife, who went shopping and got lost.

But what’s great about it is:

  • Yachiyo’s complete lesbianism reveals itself.
  • Kyoko was awesome.
  • Everyone likes someone in this show, and there are crazy love triangles all over the place.

This episode gained my trust for this show, and Yachiyo is now (as far as I’m concerned) tied with Kyoko for the best character in this show. I mean, SHE’S AWESOME. I think I actually like her more than Kyoko. I mean, she has so many traits that I like:

  1. Lesbian….as in, huge lesbian.
  2. She doesn’t open her eyes. I don’t know why, but I like characters that doesn’t open their eyes, despite the fact that I like eyes more than Hachibei from Ai Kora.
  3. She’s got a mean streak a mile long. I mean, you DID see the Katana, right?
  4. She almost killed the hopeless  General Manager (last screenshot), because he gave some food to Kyoko (her lesbian lover). I mean, it hasn’t been clarified whether or not Kyoko is a full lesbian, but all girls are part lesbian, so there’s still hope that she and Yachiyo have a gratuitous sex scene later in the show..

Maybe I should have written this post about her instead? Yachiyo all the way! I’m going to make a shirt that says that (yea right, what a stupid comment). Let’s hope Working!! it keeps up this greatness.

Iwasawa NO!

Within this post you can find spoilers for Angel Beats episode 3 as well as Tokyo Magnitude 8.0! What joy!

IS THIS LATE? I DON’T CARE! Angel Beats episode 3 was pretty damn good, and I must say that Iwasawa is pretty much a lock for my favorite character of the show, even if she isn’t…..well….I don’t want to spoil the episode and tell you that she disappeared and thus most likely won’t be in any more episodes, which SUCKS BECAUSE THAT MEANS NO MORE MUSIC!

TIRADE! ANGER! REVOLT! uhh….BANISHMENT! err, wait a second.

I am angry. No sooner had I decided that Iwasawa was one of the coolest characters I’ve seen in a while did this shit happen:

You know what? Fuck me right? All of my favorite characters always disappear or die. I could give some examples, but unfortunately, I can only remember a few, and I don’t want to starts giving away people who die in shows, because that’s called being an ass-hole (of which I am, but still).

Let me first delve into the life/death/after-death/disappearing of Iwasawa.

Want to see a good example of great art? Look at that emotion! The eyes! The feeling! What girth! What power! (those last two were an inside joke)

I’m going to keep her life short and sweet (you’ve already seen the fucking episode anyway).

  • Parents fought.
  • Discovered music.
  • Decided to become musicion.
  • Got a performance.
  • Died from the same thing Yuuta died from in Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 before she could perform. Yes he was my favorite character in that too….FUCK.
  • Now she sings awesomely in this after-life school place thing that all these people are in.

This characters is almost exactly like me! Except that my parents don’t fight, I haven’t decided to become a musician, I’m not a girl, I don’t have pink hair, I don’t sing awesomely (or do I?), and I didn’t die. But music is my escape, so it’s pretty much like we’re the same person! In figure drawing, I listen to music and just kind of zone out. Suddenly I’m not even on Earth. I do the same if I’m having a bad day (usually every other day, but NOT THIS WEEK! [SPRING WEEKEND COMING UP BITCHESSS!!!!!]). So essentially we’re the same person.

You are no where close to the same pers-

So what the heck. We’re not going to have awesome concerts anymore? The concerts kicked ass! This would be like taking Quidditch matches out of Harry Potter books (not the movies, the movies suck). the concerts were one of the best parts!!! You know that show K-On? You probably haven’t heard of it, but I first started watching because I thought it would have lots of MUSIC. Unfortunately, it never had any music, besides that one episode for a few minutes, and thus, it became the worst anime ever. This anime has had a bad ass concert almost every episode, and thus, it’s been kicking ass (for the most part). SO WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE! IWASAWA! WHAT THE HELL DUDE!? (I call girls “dude” a lot. Get used to it dude.)

So what? What the hell? She got to sang her song and whatever, and this apparently fufilled her dream. Let’s take a gamble at solving this whole show right now:

This world is a place where people that were unable to do something in their own lives go after they die, Yuri couldn’t protect people and Iwasawa couldn’t sing her song. I guess when you do this shit, you can move on. That just sounded dumb. Anyway, I’ve doubted that Angel was bad the whole time (especially with Otonashi [awesome name btw]) pretty much telling us that the whole time, and now it’s become painfully obvious that I am right. She even has said something along the lines of: “It’s like I’m the bad guy.” SHE’S NOT BAD. In fact, she’s awesome because she doesn’t show emotion. This is among my favorite character types (I should make a post about that!) This girl is pretty awesome too:

Does this count as an episodic post? I really just wanted to say that I’m mad since my favorite character is gone. Her seiyu kicked ass too. She should come out with some songs. Better yet, the band should become a band in real life. Wouldn’t that be pretty cool (if it hasn’t happened already). The seiyu who make up a band in an anime become an actual band of the same name in real life. If that’s not a great promotional tactic I don’t know what is. You already have an anime fan base, and if other people like the songs, you’re set. It’s such a good idea, that only someone as brilliant as I could have possibly conjured it up.

Seriously though….FUCK. I’m still hoping she comes back. I mean, they never did have a “really-dead montage“.

Takumi Usui is One of the Most Awesome Male Characters Ever

First of all, Kaichou wa Maid-sama is the only rival to Arakawa Under the Bridge. It’s uncredible, and I seriously don’t know whether I like it more or less than Arakawa. That’s right, despite the awesomeness that is Arakawa Under the Bridge, Kaichou wa Maid-sama, while it may not be as good as an anime as Arakawa Under the Bridge, is dead even in terms of enjoyment (I’m going to explain that comparison in a later post). Ask anyone, and they’ll probably tell you that Kaichou wa Maid-sama is just “good”, but nothing really spectacular. Those people are called idiots. This show is awesome. You know why?

Takumi Usui

Yes, this would be breaking the 4th wall, because she is in fact, a heroine from a shoujo manga.

I’ve already touched upon what makes him awesome, and this actually might be the first time I ever talk about a male character being awesome. At least it’s the first time I’ve have a post centered around a guy.

Anyway, I’ve already said in my first impression post that he displays apathy similar to a dog caring about where it shits (dogs don’t care where they shit). Apathy is a great characteristic, especially in a character, so already score a point for Usui.

First a brief background:

And now, some background on Usui. He’s the most popular kid in school, which is weird, because he doesn’t really do much of anything. He just has good looks. Proof that as long as you’re good looking, life is served up to you on a silver platter. Related to this: I HATE BLONDE GIRLS, THEY’RE NOT HOT.

Example #1: Females

Most guys want one thing, a girl to suck their dick. Well, it’s not like Usui doesn’t want to get his dick sucked, in fact, he says plenty of perverted things, but he just isn’t really concerned with it. He knows he could get any pussy he wants at the shake of a lambs tail, so he’s looking for something a bit more fun. That’s right, he fucks around with girls in ways that you don’t really think of when you hear that a guy is fucking around with a bunch of girls.

In the first episode,we learn that he turns every single girl down when they ask him out. This annoys the president, who tells him to stop making the girls cry. He, of course, could care less, and is unconcerned by the fact that he leaves every girl who talks to him weeping and suicidal. Take a girl in episode 3 who asks him out. To turn her down, he decides to just make some shit up, just for shits and giggles:

The girl, as you can see, is dumbfounded. She just found out that the boy she is basically in love with dresses up like a maid to get aroused. In fact, Usui doesn’t even wait for a response, because he knows that no girl in their right mind would want to go out (ohhh I just got a craving for cottege cheese somehow) with a loser that is obsessed with maids to that point. Of course, it’s true that he goes to a maid cafe a lot, but that’s just because he finds it interesting to go see the hard-ass president, Misaki, work as a maid (who wouldn’t find that great to watch?). Of course, it’s quite clear that he’s decided to bang the shit out of her as well, but that’s neither here nor there.

tl;dr: Usui isn’t concerned with girls, because he could fuck every girl in the school if he wanted to. He messes with them and makes them look foolish (well not really, but in my mind, yes).

Example #2: The Shit He Says (to the Misaki)

Well, we already know all of the rediculous things he says to random hoes on the streets (above picture), but what about things he says to a girl he actually wants to go after sort of?

Insinuating things to sex insinuates that you are the man. Usui doesn’t miss a beat. Just when you think he’s going to say something dramatic and thought provoking, he’ll attack Misaki with a, “Show me you’re boobs” one-liner.*

Usui is indeed a man’s man, and the fact that he always makes the expression seen in the very first picture is awesome. In fact all of the expressions in the show are among my favorite kind (the other kind being the kind seen in such shows as Kyou no Go no Ni, and Minami-ke).

This show rules. That is all (I still need to start like….2 more shows…..I’m watching SO MUCH SHIT this season, but that’s because it’s SO GOOD.

*: Show me you’re boobs! This is all me and Refuse to Come Wack say when one of us plays with Captain Falcon. I use Pikachu though, he rules…. AND WHO WON LAST TIME BITCH! BYAWWWW!!

The Aniblog Tourney: Let the Shit-Talking Commence

Have you heard of the Aniblog Tourney? If you haven’t, you have now. I’m not going to go into how it’s perfectly set up, or how I’m ranked 51 out of 96 blogs, I just want to say one thing (well, actually a few things)

OPPONENT!

First up is my first round matchup. Eye Sedso vs Densetsu no Shounen A, which is a blog  that I’m afraid to say I’ve never heard of. Never fear though, this actually makes it easier to talk smack! But I won’t. I feel like that would go against the game (my site is ten times better than that piece of shit episodic blog of shit), so I’ll not say anything bad about Densetsu no Shounen A (enjoy the hits I just gave you by linking to you you cock sucker!). I’ll just say, gracefully, that the best site should indeed win (mine! who has comment policies anyway?)

NOTE: I’m obviously joking Densetsu no Shounan A, don’t get in a tissy.

DOUBLE NOTE: Even though I was joking, I probably just made a permanent enemy. In the long run, this tourney may hurt my site. Oh well. Go hard or go home.

BRACKET!

Next up is my bracket. That’s right, I made a bracket. And it’s completely wrong too. I’m talking “worse than rose_darkangel’s spelling” bad.

I almost finished the upper left section too, then I got bored, so I just went down to my part of the bracket and filled it out the way that I want it to turn out. In all likely hood, it won’t turn out like this at all. But here’s why I hope it does turn out as I stated:

Oballer. He has an anime blog. He is ranked 83rd. He has also been a friend of mine since….shit….Middle School? Elementary School? We sat next to each other in Silver Star (Orchestra for the Elite….that’s right I played some viola in my day, and I kicked ass at it too, until apathetic tendencies kicked in. But I was the first chair, and HE WAS THE SECOND! RIVALRY!). Well guess, what? I kicked his ass in Orchestra, and I’ll do it again in the Aniblog Tourney!

The way that the bracket is set up somehow allows me, by amazing coincidence, to have to opportunity to go up against Oballer in a battle of the blogs….. but……..  wait a minute……….. wasn’t there something…… something that I always say when someone called Eye Sedso a bl-

I don’t have a blog, I have an ISSS! So why am I even in this tournament?

You’re in this tournament because you’re ISSS is similar to a blog (except better), and kicks serious ass!

Okay, then I guess I have no problem with being in it, although I think that the summary of the event should be made to explain that ISSSes like mine are included. Oh well, this is besides the point. Back to Oballer, ranked 83rd, which is 33 spots BELOW my glorious rank of 51, which everyone knows is the best number ever. In fact, elder natives foretold stories of a person wh-

So me and OB have been friends since a long time ago, when dinosaurs roamed the we were smaller. After Robert got me into anime, me and oballer agreed that DBZ  was awesome. One day I told him to watch Bleach. We would then suggest anime to watch to each other that we found, as we both slowly got into anime. Then I exploded and surpassed his anime obsession by leaps and bounds, by creating this beautiful site. When he discovered my ISSS, he laughed. “What a stupid thing to have!” he said. “Only a loser would have a BLOG.”

“It isn’t a blog!” I proclaimed as I continued to sexually please his girlfriend, “it’s an ISSS! An Information Sharing and Storage Site!”

“It’s stupid!” he proclaimed again in a drunken stupor (we were all drunk).

Two days later, TWO of my friends started blog, those friends were oballer, who created an anime-blog now featured as the 83rd rank in the Aniblog Tourney (32 ranks lower than mine), and Refuse to Come Wack, an ISSS (the only other one in existence because I told him to call it that) that was created by Robert who laughed at my site, although he hates anime even though he got me into it.

So what the heck am I talking about? What’s my point?

Oballer is not only a huge hypocrite, who created a blog much weaker than my ISSS, but it’s an odd coincidence that he is in my bracket. Frankly, I don’t even know how he (or me for that matter) got into this tourney and Kluxorious and/or NaNeee!? didn’t, but anyway, look at this shit:

Actually, half of his 93k+ hits were actually from me linking to him, so I’ll take credit for those, giving my site around 164,000 hits. Wow, I kick ass. Everyone should vote for me, because I kick so much ass. They should actually vote for oballer too, because he needs all the help he can get if he want’s to face me (seriously, he’s facing Memories of Eternity first).

So here we go.

  1. Two friends from the same town.
  2. The only anime blogger I’ve ever met/known in real life.
  3. A person who I was in a rap group with.
  4. A person who I’ve even WORKED WITH

Now we’re in the same tourney and I really want to face him. I have confidence that I can at least advance to face the winner of animeyume (who is going to be really tough to beat), but frankly, oballer’s not going to advance if he doesn’t POST SOME GOD DAMN ANIME RELATED POSTS! PUT SOME SHIT UP! I WANT TO FACE YOU NOW!

Further Reading

I am still debating whether or not I should shit talk my current opponent. I will say, however, that if I lose to some EPISODIC FUCKING BLOG, I WILL MURDER EVERYTHING!!!!! FUCKING FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ok bye.

B Gata H Kei Episode 3: Horri-awful

Wait…didn’t I JUST post something not more than 5 minutes ago? What the f-

First and foremost, I HATE this OP:

Why the studio still hasn’t changed it is beyond me….this is the third time I’ve said something about it.

Okay then….I’ll be honest with you all, this episode was a bit boring. Not only did it have the extremely generic plot of school festival/haunted house mode, but, like most episode along these lines, had little to no substance. Allow me to show you the episodes so far in terms of stocks:

Want to see all of the highlights from this episode? Here:

Kazuki loves to be nakes around her brother....if you ask me, I'd say she wants it.

I found this scene pretty funny.

Have I mentioned that Takeshita is also in the running for best character? She's always awesome whenever she's in a scene.

Well, now that I’ve covered ruined almost all of the funny scenes for you, let me talk about Kosuda, and how retarded he is (as in stupid…..yes I kind of just made fun of retarded people. Yes, I’m going to Hell).

How many of you have ever felt a boob? If you’re a girl, then you’ve at least felt your own. If you’re a guy, then you’ve probably felt a boob as well. Hell, if I’ve managed to feel boobs then it’s possible for anyone to grasp some nice boobs. Let me let you in on a secret, they don’t feel like a bag of sand.

So anyway, Yamada gets herself alone with Kosuda in the photography darkroom, and while Kosuda is developing a picture he took, she calmly takes off her shirt, unbuttons her other shit, and unclip her bra (from the front….those look so much easier to take off if you’re in my position). So she’s standing there with her tits pretty much just out there. Bare tits hangin. Kosuda is stupid dumb, and when the lights somehow shut off, and he’s feeling around for the light switch, he grabs AND FONDLES  Yamada’s left breast for about a minute…..AND HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

Sorry, I can’t continue with this episode review. This is two episode review in a row that I’ve had to link back to my post about Hot Springs and School festivals…..the only thing from that post that this show hasn’t covered already is hot springs…..if the next episode is hot springs, I’ll shit myself and die (hypothetically).