Remembering Good Fucking Anime: Welcome to the N.H.K.

I still hate the “love” thing afterall. Sorry. Anyway, time to finish this circle jerk.

I remember Welcome to the N.H.K. as being fucking God damn awesome. That’s right, I said “fucking God damn awesome.” I had to use those words specifically because really…there’s no other way to explain it.

Hot girl befriends hikikimori and then it turns out that ********************. Well, I’m not gonna spoil it, but it had a really awesome ending. To be honest though, the story isn’t THAT great. It’s the way that the story is told that makes Welcome to the N.H.K. How can I best describe this?

The character development in Welcome to the N.H.K. is above and beyond anything else out there.

The characters go through so many problems, issues, and conflicts throughout the series, and what’s more, they all learn and change from each of these. Now, if I were to see a show described like that, I’d probably dismiss it as being a self-absorbed piece of shit anime. But this is different. Welcome to the N.H.K. manages to stay really exciting and filled with BAM moments left and right.

The characters are AWESOME. For example:

Satou - Hikikomori/NEET that live in a small apartment in Tokyo. His parents pay for most of his expenses, and he secludes himself in his room, going outside only at night to buy food at the convenience store. He comes up with a conspiracy in his head, called the N.H.K., which means…………..(watch the show).

Misaki - A girl who develops a program to help Satou escape from his life as a hikikkomori. Why does she want to help Satou though? Hmmmm…

Yamazaki - An otaku who lives in a small apartment somewhere in Tokyo. He goes to school and is learning to develop games. Specifically, he loves eroge games, and he may or may not want to develop one with another character named in this anime.

Hitomi (Senpai) – Satou always calls her Senpai, because….well…..she is his senpai (upperclassman). They went to high school together, and were both in the literature club together, where they mostly played cards. She seems to believe that conspiracies are everywhere, and responsible for everything.

And did I mention the Round Table OP and the ED by the always awesome Kenji Otsuki?

I did now.

There is some great comedy in this. In one scene, where Satou was attempting to create a theme song for a business he may or may not be trying to start with another character, I was forced to replay his musical tones literally 12 or 13 times, and laughed my balls off every time. I would have kept replaying it, because it never lost it’s funniness, but at some point a I had to finish the episode.

This is one of the best anime I’ve ever seen, and I don’t see myself taking it out of my top 10 ever.

Torogai: The Most Bad-ass Tsundere

Moribito. Yeah, okay I know, it’s an old series, but I just finished it, gave it a well deserved 5 (it kicked ass), and now, I’m on my way. This isn’t a review, so much as it is a chance for me to talk about the oldest most bad-ass tsundere character ever: Torogai.

Some may leap and argue, “You nitwit! Torogai isn’t even close to a tsundere!” But these be fools, for I, an accomplished tsundere enthusiast, have seen through her tough shell of old, leathery skin, and glimpsed a version of Torogai from years past, where she was a young girl with a double ponytail and strutted with an airy attitude of self importance. The signs are so obvious.

The Height

Angry Eyes

The Attitude

The Badassery

What other character gets angry about their height so easily. She may be old, but she clearly has never gotten over her hatred of being short, a trait reminiscent of a myriad of tsundere characters. Take notice:

Okay, so maybe I’m reading too much into this, and maybe she’s just a crotchety old lady who’s fucking awesome in everyday, but if you picture Torogai as being about 120 years younger while you watch Morobito, then everything will fall into place. The way she talks to animals, the way she goes about her business……it’s totally obvious that she’s an aged tsundere.

What do I mean by aged?

Well, she’s not gonna get red in the face and stutter cliche lines like, “D-don’t misunderstand! It- it’s not like I l-like you you anything like that!”

She’s fucking 140 years old and then some. She’s been around too many years to still get red in the face. Fuck, she’s pretty much a walking corpse.

Oops, that was a lie. What I meant to say was that she’s 140 years and then some, AND SHE CAN STILL KICK FUCKING ASS.

Downing liquor, fighting monsters, not giving a FUCK? She does it all. In a land where the Mikado is pretty much a walking God, she DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK. She says what she wants, does what she wants, backs everything up by being better than everyone else at everything, and is generally awesome in every way possible.

Morbito might be slow moving most of the time, but it’s still fucking awesome. Torogai, you are the oldest bad-ass I’ve ever seen.

Maria + Holic Has the Best Music Ever

FINALLY I can post something NORMAL. Time for you all to hear what I’ve been obsessed with the past 2 weeks.

I learned this when watching, and loving, the OP/ED for episode 6 of Maria + Holic Alive. The video below, however, is not that OP, yet….just listen to it.

The only thing wrong with this OP is that the steps don’t match the beat, which annoys me a lot to be honest, but the song is so awesome that it doesn’t matter.

Let me put it this way:

I

Love

Yuu

Kobayashi

When

She

Sings

She’s got the girly voice at times, and what I really love is the deep voice that she brings out and totally just KILLS IT. I literally could not stop listening to her awesomeness. And the ED on the final episode? AWESOME. I can’t for the life of me find that ED which SUCKS because it had awesome animation and a BRILLIANT song (again, Yuu Kobayashi).

EDIT: After many many many many troubles, I’ve at least found the song. I’ve been trying to find a download of the episode so I can put the fucking thing up myself but that’s apparently impossible I can’t even find a torrent. What’s the world coming to??? Anyway, here’s the badass song:

And here’s the regular ED, which is okay, and at times awesome:

I couldn’t find the Matsurika version of the OP (with animation), which is AWESOME, but still, here’s the musical version, though I like the animation because all of the characters are covered with cutouts of Matsurika’s face, and it’s funny. The OP in question is from episode 6, so if you want to see it’s awesomeness you’re gonna just have to find a steam of it and watch it.

Matsurika is the best.

Hell, even the first OP was awesome:

Can we bring this back for a second?

One of the greatest OP/ED tandems in anime history. Yeah, I said that. I like the ending and it even has AUTOTUNE (I despise autotune).

Lest we not forget Gundam Kanako.

As for the actual show – I loved it. I gave the first season a 4, which basically means solid but nothing special, yet for some reason I LOVED this season. I found it to be one of the most entertaining shows I’ve seen in a long time. It broke the 4th wall at the right times, had complete randomness, side randomness, side jokes, hard to notice animation side jokes…..this was a typical awesome SHAFT bang session, and I ate up everything they threw at me (even the awesome seiyuu).

FINAL GRADE = 5*

(Grading Scale Here)

Consider this a preview post for my Top Ten Shows-That-Have-Good-Music countdown. I’m expecting a lot of SHAFT too Natsu no Arashi had amazing OPs…

Oh God this post is going to be……awesome.

My love for OPs has been re-affirmed, I may even redo my top 50 OPs or whatever I did years ago.

O-New: A Slob and a Pervert

Eye Sedso maybe be out of the Aniblog Tournament after losing to the diamond in the rough that is Silence is Golden, but that doesn’t mean it’s tourament life is over. Just a week or so removed from the large scale, everyone-is-invited tournament, Eye Sedso finds itself in the finals of the most EXCLUSIVE tournament on the internet: The AniISSS Tournament. And wouldn’t you know it, but Eye Sedso is pitted against the biggest slob online: O-New.

O-New has only recently gotten a semi-decent layout for his ISSS after years and years and years and years and even more years of having that old piece of shit layout that everyone wanted to shit all over but couldn’t because someone pissed all over the seat and frankly, no one wants to sit on that. But hey, that was the past right? O-New is new and improved, with a cleaner layout and……well it has a cleaner layout and let’s leave it at that. I thought that O-New had turned over “O-New” leaf for once (I’m cracking myself up with these puns). Then, O-New posted pictures of his apartment:

Click to enlarge and discover the full sloppiness of O-New’s old, decrepit apartment.

That’s a combination of three screenprints done on paint. In fact, if you look at the toolbars I have open, I had to use two separate paint documents to copy and paste and combine this pictures of his shitty apartment. Paint truly is a poor man’s photoshop. You’ll also notice that I was listening to the Maria Holic Alive Opening, and if you follow me on twitter, then you probably know that I’ve had a post written about that for a while but can’t find a time to squeeze it out. I REALLY WANT TO TO GOD FUC-

Anyway, the screenshots. No, I didn’t make a mistake and accidentally put two of the same picture up, Mushy actually had to embarrassing stupidity to put up two pictures of his dirty, dingy apartment, where he lives with stray cats, insects, and homeless men who have big homeless orgies in the corner (assumed). How can anyone who lives this way be expected to run an ISSS? Answer: They can’t.

But Glo, how can we tell that it’s Mushy’s apartment?

That’s a good question, imaginary inquirer. To find the answer, we’ve got to look into the pipes of this post. Literally. Like literally look at the pipes:

This image, grainy like the ones that capture Sasquatch, clearly show the color of the pipes is orange, but not just any orange. These pipes are an EXACT MATCH to the orange used in Mushy’s background color to his ISSS layout! Everyone knows that purple is the best color. Fuck, it means royalty. What does orange mean again? Well it says that it means fun and shit but that’s just a cover, because it also means deceit and distrust, which takes precedent over any other meanings, because how else can we tell that they’re truthful? Mushy and his orange backdrop of lies are trying to take advantage of you, are you going to let them push you around like a little bitch? I would, and trust me, you don’t want to be like me!

If that mess weren’t enough, he goes on a tangent listing his favorite types of porn for no reason whatsoever:

Quite a scary list of porn.

It turns out that this is just the tip of the iceberg though, as he also recently went Rex Ryan on everyone and released videos depicting his fetish for feet. Everyone knows that feet are the weirdest and most disgusting parts of the human anatomy, even worse than kneecaps. For someone to have this kind of fetish…………idk where I’m going with this to be honest.

Should I focus on O-New’s content? It SUCKS. How can I tell? I don’t have to tell, because O-New has already told, which brings me to my next point: O-New is run by a tattle tail.

……

Okay I don’t actually have any hard evidence to back that last statement up, so I’ll just make something up. One time, Mushy told on his……classmate…forrrrrrrrr………let’s see here…………he told on his classmate for stealing a pen or something. What a DICK. It’s a pen dude, who cares? God I can’t even stand to look at such a man, if you could even call him a man (you probably could).

Join the RevEYElution! Vote Eye Sedso!

Look guys, I couldn’t make this stuff up. Well I mean I could, and maybe I did, but that’s not really the important thing that we need to look at here. The important thing that we need to look at here is of such importance that I feel the need to importantly import the importance from my brain and import it to an impound somewhere in an important way, but instead I’ll just tell you:

We can’t have a person like this winning such an important prestigious award like the AniISSS Tournament Trophy, which I’m told is made out of %100 Real Imaginary Gold!

So go to the site and vote Eye Sedso, and you’ll be giving a vote for purple, the supreme color of a supreme ISSSer.

Yellow links bitch. Yellow links.

EDIT: Has anyone else realized that in the title I’m actually calling a website a slob and a pervert? Total botch job.

Remembering Love: Black Lagoon

So I got over the name thing…anyway…

Black Lagoon wasn’t really one of the first shows I watched. I watched it as recently as 2009, which by that time Eye Sedso was already beginning to flourish into the top ISSS it is today.

That being said though, it’s one of my favorite anime, and I’ve obsessed with trying to find a show that comes close in terms of completely bad-ass bad-assness, totally off the charts characters, and incredibly high entertainment. To this date, I haven’t found anything like that that compares to

Black Lagoon

I kinda already just explained why the show is awesome, now let me explain how the show is awesome. I went to rewatch one episode (16, because Frederica Sawyer, who is awesome, makes her debut in that episode), and of course I couldn’t stop watching. I really need to buy this fucking show or I might pull a Revy and shoot everyone up just for shits and giggles (mainly shits).

Fuck ass cunt shit. This show just gets me in a mood to swear and do bad things. It throws an edge at me and I love it.

I’ve always said that you know a show is  really good when it takes over your entire life, and fuck me if I didn’t watch both full seasons in one day (I waited for the second season to finish before I started the first). Everything about Black Lagoon is fucking awesome, and probably the best character in the show is the city of Roanapur, which is a city that sounds more like a carnival. No law and literally every kind of criminal you can think of. The entire mindset of the people there is on another level. God I wish it existed I would be there in a heartbeat.

And okay, I’m not saying that I desperately want to kill people or anything like that, but at least in the fictional city of Roanapur, people won’t get overly sensitive and start crying about how someone hurt their feelings or some shit. I feel like in today’s world there’s a hate crime for everything. People sue people because McDonald’s made them fat? It’s called exercise you fat bitch. “He called me this she called me that.” – It’s all nonsense and I’m sick of it. All people do is find something to bitch about.

Well in Roanapur, if you call someone a bitch or make fun of their race or something, they’re not gonna get mad, they’re just gonna smile and beat your ass. Problem solved. A lesson learned. Justice served. The issue is completely resolved and the world goes on, with nobody, not even the cops, giving a shit about your broken nose and cracked ribs.

Roanapur is a city pretty much governed by the people and run by common sense. Do something dumb = Get your ass beat. Don’t do something dumb = You’re in the clear…well for the most part you are. You’re never in the clear completely. You wanna use a fake ID at a bar? Okay, no one’s gonna arrest you and try you in court, they’re just going to laugh at you for using such a dumb ID and kick your ass back on the street…actually, they’d probably serve you, because no one gives a shit if you’re underage. Underage drinking is a law for pussies, and that’s another reason why I like Roanapur. All of the pussy laws are pretty much thrown out. You won’t get arrested for breaching the peace, someone will just throw a bottle at your head. Simple. Easy. Law in a lawless city.

Bad-ass.

I never noticed but the gunshots in the title are actually sillhouettes of the main characters (I’m assuming they’re the main characters).

Then of course there’s the characters like the salaryman turned pirate-badass, Rock (even his name got more badass just from visiting the island). Revy, one of the top 5 greatest female characters ever. Should I continue? Yes. Even the characters who don’t get much screentime, like Frederica Sawyer, are totally awesome ass fuck.

The characters don’t give a shit about each other. Sure they may talk and joke with each other, but they also won’t hesitate to put a bullet in the other’s head. There are no friends In Roanapur, and personal emotions are checked at the door.

Bad-ass.

Time to get my ass in gear and finally read the manga.

Important AniISSS Update! Eye Sedso Disqualified for Vote Manipulation!

Unfortunately, Eye Sedso has disqualified for voting manipulation, which means that Eye Sedso wins the entire tournament……

……is what I would say, except that we have a late entry (we accept entries anywhere we can get them, late or on time).

O-New has officially declared himself an ISSS, which means, by definition, he is an ISSS, which means, by definition, that his site is better than a blog no matter what (even if people were to hate on him or the fact that he might be married to someone like say……I don’t know……kluxorious).

So what does this mean?

Another round of voting of course! I know that all of you have been following the AniISSS Tournament with pleasurable gusto as it is one of the most widely known tournaments with the biggest following….bigger than the Olympics and Super Bowl even! Yeah! Believe it or not!

Anyway, due to this late entry, the third AniISSS Tournament (the second over the course of a week) will now take place!!! (there will be no other late entries probably maybe). The bracket, which has been a joint creation of two ISSSes, and which has taken 4 years to make somehow (even though this idea was only just recently hatched) is as follows:

So there you have it. Two amazing ISSSes gunning for the final spot in a long, arduous tournament filled with winners and losers alike, but hell, the point was for us all to gain knowledge of new, exciting ISSSes, of which there was one.

So the new voting is as follows: Having Eye Sedso been eliminated and BANNED from tournament play forever (just made that rule up), the new voting will be Eye Sedso vs O-New for the finals:

Eye Sedso vs O-New

I wrote this when I was drunk last night. Drunk…off 4 drinks. Wow I’m a pussy.

Vote Eye Sedso, or You’re a Moron

Well, it’s that time again, time for the AniISSS to come rolling in (a little bit earlier than last year for some reason), and that means it’s time for me, Glothelegend, to kick some serious fucking ass. First, the strong points (are there any weak ones? Answer: NO) of yours truly:

  • I’ve got enough badassery to fill at least three large crisco containers.
  • I’ve got the gall and brass balls to call you out if you suck at something, or what’s more, if you’re a moron.
  • Have you seen my character page? Yeah, where else have you seen something that awesome. Answer: Nowhere
  • I’m sexy as fuck (in writing. AND IN LIFE).

Now, time to meet my competitor:

Eye Sedso

First of all, I’d like to point out that the author of this site is arguably the biggest tool on Earth. His writing is:

  • Inconsistent
  • Contradictory to itself
  • Devoid of good spelling
  • Devoid of really anything of interest at all.

This site is so all over the place that I think I’d rather jump off my roof than read one more post from this ass-hole. I mean, really, you talk about how you hate feminists, but then you go on and on about lesbians and how woman are the best. What the fuck make up your mind dude. You’re a pussy.

Another thing  I noticed when I was reading the Vagtastic Voyag- oh I mean Eye Sedso, was that the background and header are the same as mine. Way to copy me ass-hole. Clearly, you’re aiming to be just like me, otherwise you might be able to develop some original ideas for once.

You’re a dick and I can’t wait to destroy you in this tournament. After all, I won last year without even trying.