They are ruining baseball with their relentless spending. Well you know what? I don’t really give a fuck they still suck dick. Have fun joining the Yankees C.C., A.J., and Teixeira.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Well, make your own decisions. But still, listen to this 100% accurate and true story WARNING VERY EXPLICIT CONTENT (like really, this shit is gross, and this one isn’t even bad):
One day I was walking down the streets of New York, which is a great city don’t get me wrong, I love New York. But I was walking down the street, and up come these three kids and their dog. Upon seeing me, a well recognized figure in the eye of the public, they begin to rigorously strip, and immediately begin fondling each other in several homo-erotic ways with many parts of the body. Then, while one of them was sucking another’s previously flacid man-pole, another began to shit uncontrolably on the pair of them, while he wildly fondled the balls of their large German Shepard. This caused each of them to have bowel movements, and they begin having a circle jerk in the middle of Broadway, covered in their own human fecal matter! A group begins to arrive, mainly of Yankee fans and asians with cameras, and the sexually confused and morally wrong trio simultaneously bust to the notion of being watched. They then begin to double team one individuals shit-covered-anus with both or their inappropriate-for-child’s-eyes-or-anyone’s-eyes-for-that-matter-fuck-sticks at the same time, quite vigorously, util his ass tears and he begins bleeding uncontrolably. This causes a small group squirt, followed by a huge group cum. One of the bystanders who was wearing Yankee hat applaudes, seeming impressed.
“Not bad, but my wife, daughter, and three-year-old son do it better.” he says, as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.
“What do you call yourselves?” asks a disgusted woman in a Mets hat.
The trio stands up, covered in shit and blood and sweat and piss and cum, and declare proudly “Typical Yankee Fans.”
I missed the part where the kids were pissing because I was busy throwing up in a trash can. I couldn’t sleep for weeks after that, due to the hororrs caused by this incedient. However, I learned at that moment, that Yankees fans were just as bad as their owners, players, and other associates, and they all deserve to be sent to Russia or China, aka the two dumbest countries ever. Expecially China. It’s a polluted mess of shit. I hate China. But honestly, the Yankees SUCK and anyone reserves the right to fuck up any Yankee fan they see. Unless their pregnant. Or have cancer. That’s just fucked up.
NOTE: Think that story was gross? It’s called an Aristocrats Joke. Look into it. Bob Saget does a funny one. So does Gilbert Gottfried.