What do people need? What don’t they need? Although I’m not sure about most people, there is one thing I know. Man need meat. Cow, pig, bear, elk, deer, bull, bird, and human are all forms of meat ready for consumtion. Some, however, are eaten more than others. Doctors say that you should cook your meat to prevent sickness and health risks. This is, of course, hogwash. In fact, meat consumed raw, or close to raw, is better for men, because it still contains Clarofactoids, which help prevent cancer of the testicles. Nene Hilario and Lance Armstrong always cooked their meats. Now they are known as “Uniballers”. (They both still kick more ass than Bill the Ass Kicker)
Now you may wonder, “Why do men need meat?” Well that can be explained in a simple formula”
Man +Meat = L – (A+G^2)
What does this mean? Basically it says that Man + Meat = Life – (Ailments + Gayness (squared))
Let me explain farther. Why do men eat meat? Well, science shows us that consumption of meat by men can help prevent and in some cases cure cancer, leukemia, heart attacks, and other diseases and ailments, excluding AIDS, which doesn’t affect real men. Besides this, meat can also give you a large, defined, vagina hammer that is always working, and can also prevent gayness, a virus discovered in 1854 by Col. Homer Gayfagdick. In contrast, things such as salad and sleep can cause cancer, especially of the earlobe, and may also create side effects ranging from dick loss to involuntary hurumphing (not real). Let me show you in pictures:
Well yea there you have it. Eat some fuckin meat. I had steak tonight with my aunt and uncle, I ate everyone’s share because I am the manliest. Go fuck yourself San Diego.