This might be the gayest post ever…….but it’s supposed to be……..sort of. Here we go.
In this day and age of constant communication through technology and shit of that sort, you can tell alot about people by what they write….that’s it. What they write.Example: Facebook. I think its gay. Now a days, nothing is real until its on facebook.
Sara: “Jon and Sue are getting married!”
Bill: “No they aren’t.”
Sara: “Yes they are….I have the invitation right here.”
Bill: “It’s not on Facebook.“
Sara: “Oh (throws card away). What a cruel joke. (goes to take a shit).”
You see what I mean? The sad thing is that this has happened before. No one came poor Jon and Sue’s wedding, because of Facebook. Not even Grandma Hagenposh or Uncle Samsanite. What I’m trying to say is, people can tell a lot about you, so be careful about what you put out there. No I don’t mean somethin like putting up pictures of you drinking in case your new boss wants to see how you live. Who cares about that shit?
Anyway, here’s what I’m talking about:
Look…..you don’t want to seem like a boring piece of shit write? Like people who have some underground rap quote or something gay like that in all their away messages/status updates. These are usually the talentless, boring, unoriginal gays that put up stuff like this. I mean, ok you know a song……and you want people to hear it too so they can say “I found a good song.” I get it. But after a while of doing the same thing every time, people will start to ignore you. Then, they’ll kill you!
Okay true story: There was once someone who always had the same away message. It read, “Sharing needles, drinking breast milk, and exchanging bodily fluids unprotected.” A few weeks later, he died by suffocating, after being strangled to death with one of those cordless phones. See how dumb he was? That’s not even physically possible!
But there is good news (if you think one thing about Gieco I’ll kill you). I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Gieco. (Ha! Gotcha!). Take these steps to ensure you don’t die by being a boring shit-fuck.
- Always right something different in your away messages…can’t think of anything? Write jibberish! Half this site is nonsense. Also, most would say this is a blog, but clearly it’s an ISSS. I refuse to conform! Tear down this wall!
- Start a routine of punching a new stranger in the face each day! If possible, try kicking and headbutting to! This shows others that you have the fire of youth burning inside you!
- Vote Obama….CHANGE…oh…….wait……..the election is over? Take Obama out of office….now there’s more change! (due to legal issues, I refuse to say anything bad).
- Alternate between driving your car to work, and high-jacking other peoples cars and driving them! Don’t forget to run them over so they can’t tell the cops who stole their shitty Honda!
- Try going to work naked!
- Drink on the job!
- End you sentences with “!”………..!
- Make sure you’re grammer sucks like mine!
These are just a few ways to show that you are exciting, unique, and unpredictable. Try em out, and don’t forget [insert motivational quote here]!
Eye Sedso does not neccesarily condone any previously stated….things…..and Obama is good don’t take him out of office. Eye Sedso will not really kill you or harm you in any way…..UNLESS YOU STEAL HIS BEEF!