Females vs Males – cooking

Cooking has much been praised as a women’s job. Since medieval times, women have served men food whenever they were asked. It was automatic. If you had a vagina, it was in your nature to cook, and if you couldn’t cook, then you were a huge dike with a butch hair cut who talks with an unnatural deep voice, almost the same way that gays try to sound like really dumb valley girls. Gay people, for the most part, are stupid (not that there’s anything wrong with that….being gay no being stupid. If you’re stupid then you should ** ***** ****** ** * ********* *** with a **** *****!).

Anyway, I got side tracked by homosexuals. On to the topic:

Cooking

Now women already have a clear cut advantage. As you know, women have been the designated cooks of households all over, until greedy lesbian feminists decided to declare that women had the right to work. (I actually am pro-women’s suffrage, but fuck I HATE feminists. Hey feminists guess what!? I have a nice, plump, penis and you’ll NEVER GET TO TOUCH IT!) Anyway, as Darwin proved, evolution evolves over a long period of time, in a gradual adaptation to the environment around them. Unfortunately, women for the most part have, and always will, make sub-par meals for their husbands and others. Why do you think all TV and anime make fun of women’s cooking? (by all I mean Ranma 1/2 and by women I mean Akane). The two best cooks in anime are men. Sanji from One Piece (I always have to cook after watching him do it!) and Ryuji from Toradora! Of course, that’s completely irrelevant to the battle between men in women because anime is fantasy land, and nothing is real.

The way I see it, if there were a war of chefs and cooks for each the men and the women, the women would have Julia Child as a military leader and the men would have Emeril Lagasse.

Julia Child

Julia Child

Emeril Lagasse

Emeril Lagasse

Now Julia Child was a CIA op, so she has the advantage if it were an actual war. But it’s Iron Chef: Men vs Women, and women just don’t have the manly taste buds, charisma, and passion for cooking that men do. Women have probably never even heard of Hot Sauce. What sluts! There is one main reason why men are better at cooking then women, and that is:

BARBECUE

Although there are a few women that can pull this off (Mrs. Pa**o makes some great kielbasa), men rule the world of barbecue, without any other species, gender, or adversary to challenge them. One time, this girl who worked at a Texas Steakhouse challenged a Northeast dwelling school teacher who wore glasses and had no man strength to a barbecue contest. The scrawny man accepted, and no sooner had he started the grill up, revealing a smell of delicious charred grease, then he ripped off his shirt and transformed into a Super-Griller Level 2!

Don't fuck with a man and his BBQ

Needless to say, he won easily. Women can bake better than men. However, when it comes to cooking, they can’t compare to MEN.

COOKING = MEN WIN

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One thought on “Females vs Males – cooking

  1. Regular feminism is OK (equal rights is equal… fights… eh)
    Super feminism (WOMENS IS BETTER THAN MENS WOMENS MUST BE FAVORED ABOVE MENS AND GIVEN SPECIAL PRIVILEGES BLELFFOEPF) is stupid and sexist and only increases the sexism on both sides which leads to rape

    Women can intrinsically cook better than men unless they have a retard gene so I think women win this one. Especially since baked goods are the best goods. Sorry champ!

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