Top Ten Video Games Ever

This was impossible to make. Even still, I’m not quite sure about these top ten, although the higher up ones I am sure about. So here are what I assume are my Top Ten Favorite Video Games.

10. Yoshi – Game Boy

This was my first game. If I start playing, I can keep on going forever. The only time I lose, is on purpose. The best character?

Yoshi with wings

9. Wario Land – Game Boy

What can you say about Wario Land that hasn’t been said? It’s got treasure, sick levels, secrets, keys, and all sorts of shit. Cool noises for coins. and a fuckin GENIE. Fuckin Genies rule. So this game does too. I must’ve beaten this game like 500 times, I even used to play it on my computer (emulators). Honestly, I can’t believe that this is number 10. But that’s just how nasty my list is. The best character?

The Genie

Mwa Mwa Mwa Mwa (that's how the Genie sounds when he talks)

8. Star Wars Episode I: Racer – N64

I was obsessed with this game when me and Matt were trying to beat it. I think we got up to the level with the vines but I’ve never beaten this game. It’s impossible. If I could meet someone who beat it I would like to shake their hand and punch them in the face. All in all, this game is a great game, and the multiplayer is nastay. The best character?

Bullseye Navior

7. Super Mario 64 – N64

This game is awesome before you even start the game. On the start screen, before you choose your game, you get to play with Mario’s face. You can stretch it, shrink it, make it look retarded. I like to lower his forehead and bring his mustache up really high, so that it looks like he’s wearing aviators. As for the game, awesome graphics, awesome levels, decent bosses. The only thing about this game that’s annoying are the views. You got this little guy on a cloud following you with the camera, and that’s wear the views come from, so walls and stuff can fuck up the view because the little cloud faggot cant go through them. Its a minor inconvenience though, this game is awesome. The best character?

King Bob-omb

6. Pokemon Red/Blue Version – Game Boy

Fuck Gary.

Now don’t do what most people do and group the game and the anime together. The game is awesome, the anime is gay. I’ll admit that i watched the anime for a bit aas a little kid (that’s why it’s on my list) until I realized it was gay. But this game is sick-nasty. I played it in elementary school. I played it in college. It stands the test of time. I always do these things the same: I name my Blastoise Torlaps, and I name my Clefable which has at least one move that’s super effective against whatever you throw at it Smee-Smack. Great game. Missingno helps. The best character?

Snorlaps: He awakes in a rage.


5. Mirror’s Edge – X-Box 360

Um…so I saw the commercial for this game and immediately bought an Xbox 360 online. I didn’t have enough money afterward to actually buy the game, but I rented it and decided that when I get money I’m gonna buy it, even though I already beat it. This is the best game I have ever played for Xbox 360, and……shit I can’t even explain, it’s new. It’s got shooting, nasty graphics, sick moves like wall running, sliding, hopping fences, hanging from walls, fighting moves. I don’t know how they fit it into one controller. Amazing game. People say it’s too easy and short. But this game actually requires thinking to get out of some situations, where you actually look around for places to climb and jump. It really feels like you’re the character.The best character?

Faith

4. Super Mario Land – Game Boy

I have beaten this game over 12 times. It would be more, but I lost the game. I’m still trying to find another one. Maybe I’ll look on ebay, because I could play this everyday for the rest of my life. This is one of the few games where I know a lot if not all of the secrets, not because I looked them up, but because I found them. Not much more to say. It’s one of the best games ever made, and deserves to be rated higher….unfortunately isn’t. The best character?

The Rock Boss…I can’t find a picture, so watch this video that shows the awesomeness of the ending song, which I have plugged into speakers to listen to.

3. Super Smash Brothers – N64

The level, Hyrule Castle. The character, Pikachu. I am nasty. I always beat Robert all the time and never lose. This game is the best multiplayer games probably ever made. I have nothing more to say. The best character?

Pikachu (or Luigi)….he’s the yellow guy on the above picture.

2. Goldeneye 007 – N64

This is my game. I own you in this game. I beat one kid at college that beat me. That is the only time I have ever met with defeat. And I put up a good fight too (this kid was like, retarded nasty). But if he had played me in a rematch, I would have beat him (he refused, what a pussy eh?). I don’t need to try. The best character?

Helicopter Pilot

This is my person, if you take him when you are playing me, I'll kill you and take him back.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time – N64

This is the best game ever. I have beaten it into the ground. I have beaten it on N64. I have beaten it with cheats. I have beaten it on my computer. I have beaten it while have a threesome with two Asians while a monkey juggled bowling pins in the corner (last instance did not occur). I love this game. I know everything about it. I will play it again, and it will be just as enjoyable as the first time (sex not playing the game). Amazing. Number one. The best character?

Red Tunic Link with Spirit Temple Shield and Gold Gauntlets


HONORABLE MENTIONS

*DYNASTY WARRIORS/SAMURAI WARRIORS

(This should be on the top ten at like…number 6, but I forgot, and I don’t feel like changing it now.)

NBA HANGTIME – N64

1080 SNOWBOARDING – N64

NFL BLITZ -N64

DONKEY KONG – GB

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One thought on “Top Ten Video Games Ever

  1. For an N64 fag I’m surprised there’s no Banjo-Kazooie on here.
    BANJO FUCKING KAZOOIE
    is probably on that rule 34 site

    “You got this little guy on a cloud following you with the camera, and that’s wear the views come from, so walls and stuff can fuck up the view because the little cloud faggot cant go through them.”
    I don’t know why, but I can’t stop fucking laughing at this.

    I have some memories with Mario 64, man. Some FUCKING MEMORIES! My cousins and I would play that game like mad, and after beating it’d we’d play it again. The biggest bullshit was Little Big World or whatever the fuck that was, and the penguin asshole.

    The anime is awesome but also gay. Boy, you’re certainly gonna become a Pokemon master by NOT CATCHING ANY POKEMON and then releasing a bunch of them into the wild. THEY CAN’T LIVE LIKE THAT ANYMORE! YOU’VE SIGNED THEIR DEATH WARRANTS!
    Seriously though after the first “season” he had what, 20 pokemon out of 150?
    Anyway Pikachu is the best so eofeafkeff

    “wall running, sliding, hopping fences, hanging from walls”
    YEAH

    “fighting moves”
    ….

    “I don’t know how they fit it into one controller.”
    Turn in your gaming license

    “Pikachu (or Luigi)….he’s the yellow guy on the above picture.”
    If you have to explain who Pikachu is, I don’t want to live

    “I beat one kid at college that beat me.”
    “But if he had played me in a rematch, I would have beat him.”
    ?

    FUCK YES OCARINA OF TIME IS THE BEST GAME OF ALL TIME OF EVERY TIME IN ANY TIME AND EVERY DIMENSION FROM NOW UNTIL ETERNITY AND BEFORE ETERNITY ALSO

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