Should You “Watch” Watchmen?

I know, my title is as original and imaginative as sliced bread, which is the worst invention ever. I don’t get the saying “That’s the best invention since sliced bread!” That is wrong on so many levels. First of all, sliced bread isn’t even an invention. It’s taking another invention (bread), and cutting it. I could take God’s invention (man) and cut it, but I wouldn’t be a great inventor, I’d be a murderer. So basically, a guy murdered bread, and now he’s the talk of the town. Gay.

Quite familiar:

Back to the current topic. Today, at approximately 3:15 P.M. Eastern Time, I paid 8 dollars for a seat in the middle of an otherwise empty Lowe’s movie theater (Which is ironically located right next door to a Lowe’s Hardware Store). I then remained seated for approximately 2 hours and 40 minutes, plus previews, commercials (really, I used to go to the theater to not have to watch commercials) and trailers for movies (I think there were two trailers) that I’ve known about already. Nothing new (except Public Enemies starring Johhny Depp and Christian Bale, which looks awesome nasty sweet. But even that I knew about since December when I did that post on movies that will come out this year (I didn’t put it down though). The movie then commenced.

As far as movies go, this was, for the most part, good. It got better as it progressed, and dealt with human emotions and society as a whole. What will become of the human race? Truthfully, this movie hit the nail on the head for the most part. Humans, as I have said many times, are stupid, dumb, and quick to shoot a gun. One thing in this movie that actually depicts this: Former President Richard Nixon, is the president in this movie…..and the people keep voting him back term after term after term…..(although this is most likely because in the movie, we won the Vietnam War in like, 5 days thanks to Dr. Manhattan (blue guy).

Basically, the U.S. and Russia both have nukes and are threatening to blow each other to hell (it’s called the Cold War, read a book). Masked Vigilantes have gone from, celebrated heroes to outlaws, and are all but gone, except for Rorschach aka fucking bad-ass:

Honestly, I don’t want to give shit away, and I wanna go drink right now seeing as it’s Friday and I am legal, so therefore I will rate this movie, give some reasons, and be gone.

RATING: 8 Stars out of 10 (this is a good rating).

Why not 10?

Well, I have never read the comic, but http://oballer.wordpress.com/ has, and I went to this movie with him and Matt Walker, so he will probably have different views, but while this movie was good, contained good sick fighting, and a bad ass character, it was a bit long, and just felt weird to me. I feel like there was no depth, but actually, there was probably more depth in this movie then any movie I’ve seen in a long time. It had cool characters…I don’t know, something was missing, probably a solid villain, the whole time they were pretty much fighting against society and themselves and ideas and what not, and I think at least a little more mention of a villain (was there really even a villain? The eventually villain at the the end, I mean, truthfully, I think he was right). but mention him more…actually never mind….scratch that whole thing. This movie can’t be made better. It was done perfectly, you either like it, or you don’t, but there was nothing you could add or take away to make this better (maybe more Rorschach).

Why not a 0?

Rorschach.

Did it meet your expectations?

Expectations:

What the fuck can meet expectations from that? Smashing Pumpkins killed that shit. From that, I expected this movie to be the best movie ever. It was good. A very good film. But not perfect. It came close, but let’s face it, that’s the most BA trailer ever.

Best Character?

Rorschach

Worst Character?

The Comedian….he hit women/unborn child….that shit don’t fly with me.

So, in the end, to answer the proposed question, yes, you should see this movie.

EDIT: The more I think about it, the more I want to give this movie a higher score….like a 9. (I’d say 8.5, but I don’t believe in decimals).

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3 thoughts on “Should You “Watch” Watchmen?

  1. Pingback: Watchmen: Complete Review « Oballer’s Blog

  2. For thousands of centuries, people were too stupid to cut bread. Do you understand? Bread existed and no one thought to cut it. Sandwiches didn’t exist because of this. Do you understand now? Do you? Do you understand the gravity of which you have just spoken? IT TOOK 6000000 YEARS FOR SOMEONE TO FUCKING INVENT SANDWICHES

    P.S. Your title was so bad I want to pretend it never happened

    “Which is ironically located right next door to a Lowe’s Hardware Store).”
    Do you know what irony means?

    I haven’t seen the movie, but I did read the comic book. I don’t think the story lacked depth, but it wasn’t very personal. You don’t get too close to any of the characters. They’re basically representations of the various types/mindsets of people who are there so a story can be told. So they feel a bit like your neighbor who you see every once in a while. If he gets into a fight with a dog, you probably root for him, but it’s not gonna be something that makes a deep impression on you and changes your way of life and thinking forever (unless you start fighting dogs)

    I did think it was good, but it didn’t have that dick shattering effect on me that it did on people in the 80’s. Probably because most of the themes weren’t anything particularly new to me, or maybe because I don’t have a dick.

  3. AH FUCK I forgot to yell at you about the Comedian

    The Comedian was the best, and one of the only characters who “got” it. Besides, that bitch had it coming!

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