Formula of Man = 5th Law

I had been studying this theory all my life, but after today, and April 1st where I was certainly mad a fool of, that it is no longer a theory, but has evolved into a law.

F(w) = L

X

=


A nice, simple equation. Translated, it means that Funds multiplied by the amount of time (weeks) that you have these funds, equals the amount of luck that a person has. Let’s say you have 1000 dollars for 2 weeks.

1000(2) = 2000

By this equation, you would have 2000 knods. (a knod is a measure of a untit of luck, which I just made up). with 2000 knods, you might find a penny every now and then, but it’s really not that much. On the other side, let’s say you have no money, like me. The rule changes, because there is such thing as negative (or bad) luck. Therefore, if you have no money, you need to plug in -1 for funds, so that time matters:

-1(2) = -2

Negative two. That’s shitty. But you could still get by with it. Pretty much, you just wouldn’t find a penny. Here’s me:

-3000(14) = -42000

Yea. I started off with one -1 knod, but if you leave that for too long, you start to fall into debt, and this farther effects the equation. Here’s what to expect if you remain at -1 knod for too long:

  • Well first your computer break, putting you in debt for about 200 dollars. Not to mention the fact that you still owed your parents 2000 dollars from that time they paid for your lawyer when you got arrested.
  • After your computer breaks, you start needing gas, school supplies, and a bunch of other shit will inevitably break.
  • After that, the job that you had lined up will be delayed because the fucking Mayor of New Britain, CT wants to lay people of or some shit. Hey Mayor! JUST GET A BAILOUT, EVERYONE’S DOING IT.
  • After that, school will suddenly overwhelm you with all sorts of shit, not to mention the fact that molding clay on the wheel is hard, but everyone else seems to get it but you.
  • Then you will be pulled over, and need to pay 200 dollars, which no one will lend you, since your parents are sick of you needing money.
  • Since you can not pay this ticket, which isn’t even that bad ($211) and that you would gladly pay if you had even 500 dollars at the time, you will be left with two choices (none of which have happened yet to me):
  1. Rob someone, get the money and pay the ticket (whoops, you’ll get arrested for robbing  someone, no matter how good of a plan you have).
  2. A warrant will be issued for the unpaid ticket, and you will be jailed until you pay it, which is impossible, because you’ll be stuck in jail.

Pretty much, if you’re me, your life sucks, and you’ve really had enough of this bullshit. Of course, if you have money, good for you, you’ll never have any bad luck ever. Go ahead and laugh in my face when you find a bundle of money laying on the ground  you fuckin ass-hole.

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5 thoughts on “Formula of Man = 5th Law

  1. Pingback: OT: I Will Be Jailed by Summer’s End « Eye Sedso

  2. Gary was here, Ash is a loser.

    FUCK

    OFF

    WORDPRESS

    EAT A GODDAMN DICK DUNKED IN DOGGONE DOPE DOORMAT DINGO ATE YOUR BABY

    HOLY SHIT DO YOU REMEMBER DUNKERS? IT WAS LIKE FUCKING COOKIES YOU DIPPED IN FROSTING. HOLY SHIT WHY DON’T THEY STILL MAKE THAT STUFF? WHY DON’T THEY FUCKING SELL IT AT EVERY CASH REGISTER AND IN LIBRARIES AND CLUBS (EVEN THOUGH CLUBBING IS FOR FAGS I WOULD GO IF THEY SOLD FUCKING DUNKERS $$$$$$$$)

  3. HOLY SHIT THIS WAS THE POST

    THAT I TALKED ABOUT DUNKERS
    BUT THEY ARE CALLED DUNKEROOS APPARENTLY
    PROOF THAT I DID NOT SEE THAT POST
    BECAUSE I DID NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY WERE CALLED

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