Phantom – Final Episode?

You know, I thought I was getting into a good show, when the creators for Phantom, ~Requiem for the Phantom~ (way to use the same word twice in the title), spoils the whole show about assassins killing people in the second episode. Don’t believe me? Just look:

Way to ruin it, Zwei, or whatever the fuck your name is.

Way to ruin it, Zwei, or whatever the fuck your name is.

I mean, come on, the whole “reset” ending or “it was all just a dream” ending is so-…….wait………..what? That…………that isn’t the end?

Oh my bad. Never mind. Anyway, while I’m here, I might as well sum up the episode. This episode pretty much starts off with Ein convincing Zwei to kill people, and become an assassin:

"Anyone else want to negotiate?" -Bruce Willis in 5th Element (awesome movie)

"Anyone else want to negotiate?" -Bruce Willis in 5th Element (awesome movie)

He agrees, although reluctantly. The next day, they train. They train and they train. After they’re done, they change pace and train some more. For your information, I find episodes of shows where characters train to get nasty quite appealing. Anyway, Zwei agrees with everything that Ein tells him to do, and eventually she is called away to do a job (kill a dude). While she is gone, he cheats on her with Claudia McCunnen.

This bitch is horny.

Of course, he can’t really cheat on Ein since they have no real relationship what so ever, except that she kicks his ass occasionally, and Zwei and said horny bitch don’t actually get it on what-so-ever, but still, you get what I’m talking about. Anyway, she tells him some bullshit about how they aren’t really slaves to Inferno (the assassin company that enslaved them), because they have the freedom to progress. Bullocks in my opinion. Absolute bullocks. So she leaves, but for some reason has the need to state random obvious facts before she goes:

Maybe Zwei can use this new found information regarding cars to drive away from his prison, since he is a slave.

Maybe Zwei can use this new found information regarding cars to drive away from his prison, since he is a slave.

After ward, Ein returns to the room where she and Zwei sleep. He had previously heard that she was a huge whore, and had contracted several STDs. Wanting to discover if this was true, he relayed his inquiries outright, to which Ein responded appropriately:

Zwei didn't want to. He now has crabs.

The End (my ending may have differed slightly from the original)

UPDATE: I still think this show is good, I wasn’t knocking it.

OT: Hobos? Not In My Town!

The following might offend. Sorry about that.

Dear Hobos of the World,

I’m sick and tired of dealing with your shit. You sit on your street corners twittling your thumbs and talking to people that aren’t there, all the while expecting us, the working class citizens, to pay or your cheap McDonald’s food. You know what hobo? See that stick over there? I may just hit you with it. I am not your servant. If your going to take my money, at least brandish a weapon and take some God damn initiative. Don’t just beg. Jesus Christ, you know what? Here’s a list, check it twice, and beat yourself down with a two by four.

Exhibit A) You are a lazy good for nothing SLOTH.

Have you ever seen a sloth, hobo? No of course not, because you don’t have enough money to go to the zoo can’t fucking read, and have no access to Internet, which makes me think: “WHY THE FUCK AM I WRITING THIS FUCKING SHIT?” Your laziness is surpassed only by those of the hippies, and that’s not  good. If there’s one thing I hate more than a hippie, its a feminist, but hobos are probably somewhere up there too.

Exhibit B) You are fucking AWKWARD TO BE AROUND.

I’ll be walking down the street, when all of the sudden, a random hobo will come up to me and start talking all sorts of gibberish.

“What are you trying to say hobo?”

“Errky derky kishi moo puntunggggg.”

“What? What’s that? Is Timmy stuck in the well? What? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU FUCKING HOBO!?”

Listen to me hobo, I have enough on my plate, and I really don’t have time to learn a new language, so pipe down and return to your box. What am I supposed to do now? I was walking with my girlfriend, and she finally agreed to have sex with me. Now she just got VERBALLY ASSAULTED BY A HOBO! DO YOU KNOW THE TRAUMA YOU MAY HAVE CAUSED? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO YOU?

Exhibit C) What’s that SMELL?

Ohhhh. It’s hobo. Until Ralph Lauren comes out with a cologne titled “Hobo’s Sensation”, your stench is going to stick out like a sore thumb (how exactly do sore thumbs stick out? My thumbs been sore before, and no one ever said anything to me like, “Hey nice thumbs! What are they…sore or something?”). Here’s a plan, it’s called bathing. Fuck, all you have to do is find a bathroom, get some soap (you can just take it and put it in your pocket, no one will care), and jump in a body of water. Easy. Such a simple solution to solve your smell. This way, when we catch a waft of liquor, at least it won’t come with a side odor (get it, side order…..odor) of human waste (oh yea you can afford liquor but nothing else….learn how to save your money idiot). You know what? I’ve had it. We’re through here.

By the way, in case you aren’t aware, I am flat broke right now, and have no job (luckily I am in college, so I have avoided NEET status). I’m pretty much a hobo, except I have a place to live, and I will have a job in May. Also, I take care of myself and make sure I dazzle people with my appearance. Besides, if I really needed money, I will rob you. As for this post, I don’t even see any hobos in my daily life, except when I go to the city, which I haven’t been to since winter break (and I spent all my money there). But I do get my share of hobos trying to interfere with my affairs, and I DON’T LIKE IT.

Welcome to the N.H.K – A Show of Issues

It’s been a while since I did a series review, but I recently just finished Welcome to the N.H.K., one of the best anime I have ever watched. The last episode was AWESOME.

Welcome to the N.H.K.

I recently only just found out about this show, from a post on some blog whose name I forget, which kinda sucks, because I’d love to go and thank that person. Without that post, I would’ve missed out on something completely awesome.

Premise: Welcome to the N.H.K. centers around a few characters and their issues, the main characters of these being Satou, a hikikomori/NEET who lives in a small apartment in Tokyo. One day, he meets a girl by chance outside of his room. The meeting lasts not more than a few seconds, but later when he attempts (poorly) to get a job, she happens to be working there. He bolts, leaving his resume, which she returns it to his mailbox with a note. The note informs him that she wants to help him shed his hikikomori ways. However, as the story progresses, it becomes clear that Satou isn’t the only one with problems, and this show reflects on how these characters deal and change with their own issues. Damn that was well written.

Now I know that the premise might make some people think:

“People with issues? Who cares? Why would I want to watch an anime where people deal with their issues?”

Well I got news for you pal, this anime kicks more ass than Bill the Ass-Kicker, may he rest in peace. Let me give you a run down of the awesome, dynamic, issue-ridden characters:

Satou – Hikikomori/NEET that live in a small apartment in Tokyo. His parents pay for most of his expenses, and he secludes himself in his room, going outside only at night to buy food at the convenience store. He comes up with a conspiracy in his head, called the N.H.K., which means…………..(watch the show).

Misaki – A girl who develops a program to help Satou escape from his life as a hikikkomori. Why does she want to help Satou though? Hmmmm…

Yamazaki – An otaku who lives in a small apartment somewhere in Tokyo. He goes to school and is learning to develop games. Specifically, he loves eroge games, and he may or may not want to develop one with another character named in this anime.

Hitomi (Senpai) – Satou always calls her Senpai, because….well…..she is his senpai (upperclassman). They went to high school together, and were both in the literature club together, where they mostly played cards. She seems to believe that conspiracies are everywhere, and responsible for everything.

Generally, this anime has everything you could ask for. It’s:

  1. Got an AWESOME OP.
  2. Very, VERY well written.
  3. Got good animation.
  4. Got an intensely awesome character lineup
  5. Covers a wide range of genres.

There is some great comedy in this. In one scene, where Satou was attempting to create a theme song for a business he may or may not be trying to start with another character, I was forced to replay his musical tones literally 12 or 13 times, and laughed my balls off every time. I would have kept replaying it, because it never lost it’s funniness, but at some point a I had to finish the episode. Yamazaki also provides ample funny moments as well.

The drama, needless to say, is outstanding. There are so many moments that had me wondering what was going to happen next. I didn’t plan on finishing the show tonight either, but here I am at 4:30 in the morning, wide awake, because I am in awe of how much I liked this show, and how surprised I was that I liked it so much.

I need to finish this up now, but all I can say is, that Gonzo stepped up and produced a really awesome show right here, and I recommend this show to everyone who isn’t dead on Earth, because I gave it a:


Top Ten Spot Number 8…..Elfen Lied = booted because the manga was better anyway.