OT: Cheers to the Socially Awkward

The socially awkward will someday rule the world. You will beg us for mercy, and we will consider it. (filler post…I have made no progress anime due to a lot of shit like softball and watching the Nuggets DOMINATE)

Getting in the way of a picture? Socially Awkward.

Getting in the way of a picture? Socially Awkward.

This isn't just socially awkward, it's just fuckin gay.

This isn't socially awkward, it's just fuckin gay.

For the record, no one in either of these pictures is gay…..I don’t think. Anyway, to draw comparisons, here is something that isn’t socially awkward:

When you go to Rock the Bells and support Funky Faction (see my blogroll)

When you go to Rock the Bells and support Funky Faction (see my blogroll)

And just to compare, here is more awkward:

Do I talk to Denise enough to point out her awkwardness? No, and that makes me SOCIALLY AWKWARD.

Do I talk to Denise enough to point out her awkwardness? No, and that makes me SOCIALLY AWKWARD.

I actually like those glasses, but seeing as I am socially awkward and have the same ones (pretty much), they must be socially awkward.

What defines social awkwardness? Being dubbed socially awkward myself, I have absolutely no idea, because I think that I’m perfect in every way, shape, and form. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say that social awkwardness can be summed up in three key points:

  • 1. Inability to respond to any statement made in more than one word:

Example: A Phone Conversation and the Following Events (it’s gonna be long, yet pointless)

Joe: Yo

Eye Sedso: Yo

Joe: Dude I saw the sickest movie

Eye Sedso: When?

Joe: Last night, it reminded me of that time that [insert subject]. Don’t you think so?

Eye Sedso: Yup

Joe: What’d you do last night?

Eye Sedso: MmM (that noise that sounds like a shrug. The lazy man’s “I dunno”)

Joe: Well what are you doing tonight?

Eye Sedso: MmM.

Joe: Well want to do something?

Eye Sedso: Alright.

Joe: What do you want to do?

Eye Sedso: MmM.

Joe: Let’s go to the mall (who the fuck goes to the mall just to go? This would never happen)

Eye Sedso: Alright. (hangs up phone)

The conversation ends. After, Matt, who was in the room, questions me:

Matt: What did Joe say?

Eye Sedso: He wants to go to the mall.

Matt: When

Eye Sedso: I dunno

Matt: Who’s going?

Eye Sedso: Not Sure.

Matt: Didn’t you ask?

Eye Sedso: No.

Matt: Fuck you. You’re socially awkward (phone rings….it’s Joe)

Joe: Yo

Eye Sedso: Yo

Joe: You’re fuckin socially awkward.

Eventually we get to the mall at the appropriate time when Matt talks to Joe and figures shit out because I’m shitty at talking with people.

  • 2. Saying things at the most un-opportunistic times:

Here are some actual, REAL quotes that I’ve said:

(on a train which has just stopped) Eye Sedso: (talking way too loudly) “We stopped…..looks like we might have hit someone!” (friends scold me, shake heads)

Eye Sedso: “Aww shit n*gga.” (I am not black, but the person behind me sure is!….this has happened more than once. And no, I’m not racist, I just listen to too much rap.)

Eye Sedso: “You fag.” (You guessed it, gay person right behind me. This creates an awkward moment)

Eye Sedso: (in a Friendly’s restaurant after an intramural softball game today…..yelling) “Oh I get it now! You scored with a black man! Like you scored with him!” (person whom I was talking to was using “scored with a black man” as in hockey, but it sounds like “got with a black man”….get it? I did!)

During sex, I will typically yell out barn yard animal noises, which tend to frighten and confuse my partner, until she leaves the room, forgetting her underwear, which I save and wear the next day.

(that last one was a complete fabrication, but I thought it was fucking hilarious/extremely creepy)

I’ll just leave you with those three, but there are many more.

  • 3.Inability to add anything to a conversation/start up a conversation.

Me, some guy, and some girl are standing and talking. For the most part, I feed off of what the other people are saying and add to the conversation. Then one of the other people leaves which creates:

AWKWARD SILENT TENSION

Well, not much more to say there. I’m pretty awkward. Occasionally, if I know the person well enough, I can talk for hours. But if I only know the person slightly, conversation will not progress. I wish I had a funny example of this, but honestly, it’s not that funny, it’s just kinda sad (that was kinda funny).

  • 4. Eccentric/Having way to much energy.

Whenever we are someplace, and there is a lull in the action/movement, I pace until some one yells at me to stop. I also should point that I may have ADHD, although I’m not sure. Studies actually show that TV (in my case anime?) is directly related to restlessness in children. So maybe this has something to do with it. But I’m 21!

  • 5. Not knowing what “three key points” means

I said I would sum it up in “three key points”. That didn’t work.

There are many things that make socially awkward people how they are, but lets find out


Why they rule:

  • 1. You never know what you’re gonna get!

God knows I’m slightly random, I can go off on a random tangent about something like,

“Aren’t Lucky Charms awesome?”

in the middle of a serious debate about whether or not Uncle Joe (fictional character) should be kept on life support or if the plug should be pulled after he was left in a coma from a bad colision with a yak. For you information, Lucky Charms are fucking BOSS.

  • 2.THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING

Jesus was socially awkward.

Jesus was socially awkward.

Honestly, Yoga is great. I did it the other day, and I felt so relaxed, as though I was in someone else’s body. For the rest of the day, nothing bothered me. I think I’m going to start my day off like that. Wait, I was talking about something else wasn’t I? Why is Jesus flicking me off?


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8 thoughts on “OT: Cheers to the Socially Awkward

  1. On second thought, the funky faction picture might actually be socially awkward. And I really don’t think Denise has SAS (Social Awkwardness Syndrome), but if Matt says it, it must be true.

    Anyway…..cheers to awkwardness!

  2. Hahhaha I almost woke up my sleeping roommate from laughing at the barn animal noises part, but REGARDLESS I feel the need to tell you that the pacing and random tangents should be on the list of why people like you suck. Do you have ANY IDEA HOW ANNOYING THAT IS to us slightly-socially-awkward-due-to-the-fact-that-everything-annoys-us people?

  3. @ thehiphoprevuebangout – Ready for some knowledge?

    A) Make your name shorter, that shit is long.
    B) You are also socially awkward/socially pissed off, sorry to tell you.
    C) Pacing is a good way to burn calories, but if you see, it was actually filed under the correct area.
    D) As for putting random tangents in why we are socially awkward, I would, but I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.
    E) It never says that socially awkward people suck in this post, unless I’m just referring to me, asshole

  4. Softball? What are you, a GAY?

    haha guys going to the mall
    haha ur all gay queer fags love dick tocuhing

    “Eye Sedso: “You fag.” (You guessed it, gay person right behind me. This creates an awkward moment)”
    Deal with it faggot

    “During sex, I will typically yell out barn yard animal noises, which tend to frighten and confuse my partner, until she leaves the room, forgetting her underwear, which I save and wear the next day”
    fapping immediately

    “but honestly, it’s not that funny, it’s just kinda sad (that was kinda funny).”
    yeah I went hehehhehhhhhhhuuuu irl out loud

    “Whenever we are someplace, and there is a lull in the action/movement, I pace until some one yells at me to stop.”
    HAHAHA

    Lucky Charms suck.

    Sorry but they do

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