Good News Ass-Holes

I feel like being very abusive and abrasive this week, like sandpaper out for revenge. Therefore I’m going to rip on anything and everything I can think of. Subjects ranging from your mom to more about shitty feminists, which I really hate.

I’m excited to rip a new asshole on things such as China, People Who Think Art Has Deep Meaning, and other faggots. Get ready, because I’m pissed, and looking for a fight (I’m actually not pissed at all, but in fact, I’m in a good mood lately, since my collegiate junior year is coming to a close….only 9 more years to go! I am looking for a fight though, because, as a man, it’s in my blood).

With that being said, here’s the first thing that is pissing me off at the moment, words.

What the fuck is wrong with people today? Back in my day, you could make fun of someone and not have to worry about getting arrested or thrown in jail. Ever hear the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?” Yea. Apparently that’s changed to “Sticks and stones may break my bones and words will hurt me and make me cry, attempt suicide, and see a consular because I am unable to cope with other people’s opinions of me since I am a fucking pussy.”

Enough. Enough with all of this emotional bull shit. There is no such thing as a harmful word. I’ve never seen a word pull your fuckin tongue out your fuckin mouth and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver…..BLAAOWWW!

If anything, words build moral fiber, and help change pussies into birght leaders, like Al Gore George Washington, who was always ridiculed by his classmates for his wooden teeth, which he was born with. Of course, as you know, he grew up to invent breast implants, and all of the other kids in his class were sold as sex slaves to Austria. He used the words to give him will power to change.

For example:

If your cry over someone calling you fat,  then you

A) Probably are a fat fuck

B) Should get off your fat sagging ass and go run or something. Jesus Christ the world isn’t built for your comfort.

This brings me to my next point, EMO.

Emo = Gay

The only good emo things are some anime emo things, but only because/if they look cool:

Examples of Every Single Good Emo Thing EVER:

I'm in despair!

I'm in despair!

I happen to think this looks cool.

I happen to think this looks cool. Although I'm not sure what it is/what it's from (if anything).

Fucking GAY

FUCKING REALLY DUMB

Two. There’s two examples in the world. I guess My Chemical Romance would be included, because I like them, but they still look like homos. I honestly just felt like I needed to put some shit in here that was anime related, because I’m fucking retarded. Anyway, back to the lecture at hand, perfection is perfected so I’m a let em understand Emotion. The only time the word was used correctly was in Anchorman:

The bad man punted Baxtor!

The bad man punted Baxtor!

Emo (emotional) fags are dumb. Here a picture that relates to this topic:

Agreed

Agreed

Here’s a plan, talk down to your grass. Call your grass shitty and unwanted, and then throw a knife on your lawn, hopefully your grass will get the hint and cut themselves, and you’ll save bundles on lawn-mower fuel (also known as gas).

Please don’t think I’m just judging people. I take words as constructive criticism. Many a time I’ve had people come up and tell me that I was a fucking fag. So what did I do? I either tried to become less gay, and help myself as well as my environment, or I ignored them, because they were fucking tools. Of course, it’s hard to know exactly what to change about yourself when people just tell you, “You’re fucking gay.” In those cases, I hit the ignore button in my head. But when someone says something like:

“You’re a weak fuck!”

I know what to change. Now,  I workout every day and can literally bench press a car (Hot Wheels or Matchbox).

“You’re still a weak fuck!”

Heel to the groin!

Bottom Line: Stop getting depressed by words. They’re fucking words. Be a man and deal with it. Women too, stop being fags. My friend got arrested for calling a gay kid gay. Apparently that’s a hate crime now. The kid could’ve easily said “That’s right,  I’m gay.” And then my stupid friend would have looked damn foolish and the gay kid would look witty and cool. Words can always be twisted by agreeing. Another example of this,

“Your mom’s a huge slut.”

“That’s right, she is.”

“Uhhhhh…yea.”

Who looks stupid now? Not the kid whose mom is getting around and collecting other gentlemen’s sperm in her mouth, eye, asshole, vagina, cleavage, ears (really, ears?), and hair.

NOTE: This whole post does not apply to people with actual Depression problems that they can’t actually control. They’re just pretty much fucked. And that sucks.

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2 thoughts on “Good News Ass-Holes

  1. “Bottom Line: Stop getting depressed by words. They’re fucking words. Be a man and deal with it. Women too, stop being fags.”
    Agreed

    “My friend got arrested for calling a gay kid gay. Apparently that’s a hate crime now. The kid could’ve easily said “That’s right, I’m gay.” And then my stupid friend would have looked damn foolish and the gay kid would look witty and cool.”
    HAHA HOLY SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
    I can’t tell if you are or not because I can see something stupid like that happening
    Similarly in a stupid shitty game I was playing some girl was pissed off this gay kid stole her boyfriend (“stole”) so she called him a fag and he ran home crying and then the boyfriend ran after him crying and the gay homo locked himself in his room and was crying and the boyfriend was pounding on his door crying and this went on for days (????) and everyone in the school hated her and could not refrain from talking shit about her for this vicious hate crime for the rest of the entire fucking game and then the gay kid’s moms (of course, he had two moms) came in and had to TALK TO THE TEACHER ABOUT BULLYING DO WE NEED TO REMOVE YOU FROM YOUR POSITION SIR

    “They’re just pretty much fucked. And that sucks.”
    Thank you for your sympathy

  2. ” feel like being very abusive and abrasive this week, like sandpaper out for revenge. Therefore I’m going to rip on anything and everything I can think of. Subjects ranging from your mom to more about shitty feminists, which I really hate.

    I’m excited to rip a new asshole on things such as China, People Who Think Art Has Deep Meaning, and other faggots. Get ready, because I’m pissed, and looking for a fight (I’m actually not pissed at all”

    btw this is me every day

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