As an Art Major, I see a lot of art. I like art a lot, and in fact, I think that a lot of art is nasty. Some stuff is so good that it looks real, and to imagine that someone painted, sculpted, or drew certain works of art amazes me.
However, a lot of art is fucking retarded. But what’s more retarded are the stupid art critics that eat it up, and try to find a “deep meaning” that was they think the artist was trying to portray. Here’s the biggest example of shit that people look at as one of the best works of art of our time:
This piece of shit came from the brilliant mind of Marcel Duchamp. What kind of work did he do to make this shit? He took a urinal, which someone else manufactured, and put it on it’s side. He titled it Fountain (1917), and critics ate it up. Why? Because, believe it or not, Art Critics enjoy shit as part of their diet. Jesus Christ, this “work of art” is almost as good as One and Three Chairs.
And what’s really bad about this piece is that it inspired a lot of really shitty art. Like this stupid shit:
What the hell? And people still try to find a deep meaning that the artist was trying to display. Take this painting for example:
My retarded Art History teacher, Professor Langhorne, who has ONE FUCKING ARM, talked about this God Damn red-ass painting for an entire 1 hour 15 minute class. I eventually couldn’t take it, and left the class early, because I couldn’t listen to anymore of her stupid bullshit. (Quotes not exact, but close):
“What Newman was trying to prove was that a line is a powerful tool. He didn’t see them as lines, but instead called them zips.”
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. They’re lines. Just because you change the name doesn’t mean you change the meaning….
“Jeff, isn’t that what you did with this website when you changed it from blog to ISSS?”
“You shut the fuck up. It’s different.”
She went on and on about this stupid painting. IT’S A RED CANVAS WITH LINES OKAY? I do have to give Newman some credit, at least he MADE the thing (fuck you Duchamp you sack of shit).
Now that I’ve settled the fact that a lot of art is stupid, let’s move on to the main event. People who try and find deep meaning in all art. Ever think that maybe an artist made something just because he thought it looked cool? Apparently Professor “One-Armed” Langhorne (she really does have one arm) doesn’t. She took my favorite painting, Van Gogh’s The Starry Night, and grouped it in with deeper meaning.
“Do you see how Van Gogh added the chapel and points it up to the sky? It symbolizes how religious he was, and it shows that he made this painting with the heavens in mind.”
That is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. Granted, he was a preacher for a time in Borinage, but still, how the fuck do you know that this painting is directly about heaven? Did you fucking ask him? No, because he’s been dead for some time now you stupid bitch. Maybe you think you know him, because he has one ear, and you have one arm, you stupid fucking human slot machine. Yea I said it. You have one arm, but that doesn’t mean you have to suck. Just look at some anime characters with one arm:
While I’m on the subject of Anime, I would like to say that when I was in Miami a while back, I saw a gallery that had awesome painting that were kind of a “pop-art/anime” type of feel. I wish I had gone in (I only passed by). In New York City, there’s going to be an Anime art exhibit sometime in July, although now I can’t seem to find anything about it. I wish I still had the page saved. I can thank my computer crashing for that. If I find anything then I’ll probably look it up. The art looked sick. It’s not an anime convention, it’s an art exhibit.
In fact, I can’t think of a single one-armed person in history of real life/entertainment that sucks. They’re all cool, except for you with your damn scarf covering your lost arm like it’s an embarrassment. If I had one arm, I would showcase that shit like, “Yea, that’s right. One arm bitch, and I still rule.” Professor Langhorne, you’re giving one-armed people a bad name with all of your art mumbo jumbo. Ever think that maybe artists paint things because they look cool? Maybe there’s no deep meaning in them? That’s why I paint/draw. I’ve never once put a deep meaning into making art. I just want it to look cool. You’re a bitch.
In conclusion, I’m sick of people that try to find deep meaning in pieces of shit like this:
I like a lot of modern art, but only if it looks cool. Also, I don’t look for deep meaning in anything because I don’t care that much.