It was only a matter of time before I made a post about my favorite NBA player, J.R. Smith.
First, I would like to point out how stupid ESPN announcer Jeff Van Gundy is. In last nights game, he called J.R. Smith “Smitty.” Really? Smitty!? What a complete and utter dolt. Not only is Smitty the gayest nickname to give anyone ever, but J.R. Smith is obviously a pirate. Let’s look at the factoids:
- First of all, Smith steals and plunders the ball from other players like a pirate steals and plunders booty.
- Second of all, J.R. Smith does awesomely dumb celebrations, insinuating that he’s is usually drunk, just like a Pirate.
- Third of all, look at this picture:
- Fourthly, he’s out of control, and is awesome. Last time I checked, so are pirates.
In conclusion J.R. Smith is fucking nasty and awesome. He’s about to do nasty for the remainder of the playoffs. How many times have you heard this:
“J.R. Smith puts up a wild shot…….AND IT’S GOOD!”
or/usually followed by
“J.R. Smith, Again from way out……….GOT IT!!!”
after which the other announcer will say something like
“J. R. Smith….”
Fuck yea, go Nuggets. (Chris Andersen is the other awesome player on the Nuggets, don’t even get me started on how great he is).