NOTE: I wrote this post, and then re-read it. After doing so, I decided to add “two categories that hentai fall into”. I then did a search for “gross hentai” (because I decided, “Maybe I should research some of this”……BAD IDEA. So yea, read this with the notion that I went back through and added stuff, which I put in parenthesis, or added after cross outs. I don’t care about the quality of this post. Everything got messed up kind of. I may contradict myself several times. Feel free to rip this post to shreds with your words, print the page out, and burn it. I’m not re-reading it again….I just can’t do it.
My last “Anime Genre” was “slice of life”, which was apparently “the most epic fail of all time”. Well I’m back, and this time I’m covering something a little more……..well……..it’s porn. First, let’s get a definition:
Hentai (変態 or へんたい?) listen (help·info) is a Japanese word that, in the West, is used when referring to sexually explicit or pornographic comics and animation, particularly Japanese anime, manga and computer games (see Japanese pornography). In Japan it can be used to mean “metamorphosis” or “abnormality”. The word “hentai” has a negative connotation to the Japanese and is commonly used to mean “sexually perverted“. God damn weird, and most times, extremely funny.
(Taken from Wikipedia, yea, I used it again)
I don’t need to explain this, really. If you like anime/have watched porn on a pornsite/are alive, you know by now what hentai means.
- America (sorry), The West= Anime Porn
- Japan = Any Porn (put an H in front of something and it becomes porn, H Anime= Porn Anime……this could be totally wrong, feel free to call me out on it if it is.)
So, what do I think about hentai (anime)? Well, I don’t find pleasure in it, but I’m not going to feign ignorance in believing that hentai is unpopular, and that there aren’t millions of people who twank their crank to animated whores getting their round the world from some animated penis. I mean, there are plently of porn sites that list “hentai” as a category. It’s pretty much become accepted as a porn type. I personally think cartoon porn and gay stuff like that falls into two categories:
- Weird/Borderline Gross (I was going to actually show examples of “gross hentai”…..but I severely underestimated exactly what “gross hentai” entailed. I dare you to type in “gross hentai” in google with ther preferences at the lowest setting. I DARE YOU. I almost threw up, and was forced to add another category (I should mention that I had written this whole post, and came back and added these 3 things, so I will now re-review this post and cross things out, and add things in based on the search of “gross hentai”:
- Extremely Wrong in every possible way possible ever.
I read enough anime blogs to know what hentai is, and all of the weird odds and ends of it (I apparently knew nothing. I have now seen things, although briefly, that make the following image seem tasteful). I mean, weird hentai is one of the oldest forms of porn there is (this can no longer be weird hentai….I think this is normal hentai…this whole post has been turned upside down. My veiws of hentai are altered. Black is down, up is white):
Katsushika Hokusai - Dream of the Fishermans Wife (1820)
Okay, I first saw this “famous work of art” in my art history class about a year ago. The first thing I thought of was hentai, not going to lie. I laughed my ass off during class, and everyone looked at me weird. “This is the original tentacle rape,” I thought to myself. “Man,” I thought, “Who draws this stuff?” I guess Japan is just pervertedly advanced as a nation (understatement….wtf, Japan!?).
Do I find hentai arousing? No. To be honest, I do not. Certainly not for shucking my corncob. FUCK NO. I’m a 3-D guy through and through. Hentai is good for 2 things:
- Making me laugh my balls off.
- Weirding me out big-time.
- Scaring the shit out of me.
Well, I guess technically I could say yes , if you consider hentai to be normal porn of normal women from the country of Japan (which I no longer believe it to be at all). I mean I’ve got a thing for the Japanese babes. They float my boat (although there are many, many exceptions to this).
Hmmm…..you know, after looking at that last picture (or link), I don’t think I like Japanese girls anymore (complete and utter lie). That was so far opposite of sexy that I cringed. I think Latinas are the new me (not really, although they are really fucking hot….I see you Vida Guerra). A certain friend would agree with that (the fact that latinas are smokin). This certain friend also believes that I like liked Japanese women only because they’re as close to anime girls as I could get. I can’t say that this is true, I mean, I was obsessed with Japan (and their women) long before I found anime. Anime just kind of came from my Japanese obsession. But yea, I used to have many pictures of certain Japanese hotties (devoid of clothes) on my computer (it comes with the title of “most perverted bloggers”…..of course, this title is wrong since this is an ISSS). Time out for pictures:
I shouldn't say bad. I mean, if I thought that pictures of anime girls looked bad I wouldn't watch anime. They're athstetically pleasing but not arousing in the least. If this girl was real, she would be hot (and probably not Japanese...anime characters rarely look Asian), but she's got the cartoon eyes and the non realness, and......I dunno I just can't get into it. This is a long ass caption. This is tasteful and good, but now it's even more less arousing than before. This is still the longest caption ever though.
This is not, “the bad”. “The bad” is anything found in the search of “gross hentai”. I have a feeling that I’m going to get a lot of negativity/spam from this post.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS WHY HENTAI IS FUNNY AS FUCK. (is this really hentai? Or comedy? I can't see anyone getting turned on by this....then again there's some seriously perverted shit out there. (this is still really funny, even after the re-review)
If I saw a picture of a hot, naked Asian babe, I’d simply right click and save (who wouldn’t?). Sometimes they would save as files named, soso959854, and other times they would be something like asian_japan_6948, other times, they would be something like 1.hentai_94483. I didn’t bother renaming them, that’s a fucking hassle. So I guess technically, if you really look into it, I do find hentai arousing (but not the cartoon kind……that’s just weird…I have a good analogy at the end of this page). However, these all disappeared during the Great Computer Crash of 08 (the second of two that year), and I have since abstained from storing any provocative images on my computer since (even though all of my computer problems are always hardware related, and have nothing to do with viruses).
Do I hate people who enjoy hentai (anime)? Hell no. Not at all. I mean, as long as they aren’t obsessed with it, and/or talk about it all the time, and/or mention how “That girl over there isn’t as hot as Rei from NGE.” I mean sure in the past I would probably make fun of someone and beat their ass with a large wooden stake, but I have become a lot more accepting of people and their likes and dislikes during this past year (exceptions include hobos, feminists, and hippies especially, they could all explode in a giant fireball and die for all I care….oh, and throw the animal activists in there too, they’re fucking gay), so no (unless you enjoy any hentai found after performing the search “gross hentai” in google). I still might make fun of you a little (I mean…..c’mon, you watch cartoon porn), but it would just be to bust your balls, I honestly am unbothered by anyone who watches hentai (unless it’s gross….then just don’t tell me). Watch to your hearts content (or seek help), I don’t give a shit.
I mean, what percent of anime watchers indulge in animated porn? My guess would probably be around 73%. Maybe even higher (I pulled that out of my ass…maybe it’s 5% and I’m an idiot (I somehow doubt that). Most bloggers that I like probably find themselves engrossed in it from time to time, but I still read their sites, and I don’t think less of them either except for the fact that they’re fucking pieces of shit.
Have I ever watched hentai? Well, duh, I wouldn’t write this otherwise. I remember at
this kid’s house one day, we (me, him, and Matthew Parrotti) were recording for Loo$e Change, and randomly came across a hentai clip, and it was fucking hilarious. I literally laughed until my sides hurt. I don’t remember what it was (it was mainly funny to me because of the shock value, as I had never known about this (you want shock value, type in “gross hentai” in google).
I mean, I’m pretty sure the story lines are ridiculous too (all porn is like that really). So there’s no point for me to watch hentai. Of course, I’ve watched Queen’s Blade, and even though it’s not technically hentai, it’s still pretty bad Queen’s Blade was awesome, and pretty close to hentai. not even close to hentai. Here’s a picture of some hentai that I didn’t draw in paint:
How can people find this sexy? I didn't draw this in MS Paint...
THIS POST IN A NUTSHELL
Anime: Awesome. I love it.
Hentai: Weird. Not jerk-off material.
3-D: My preference.
Japan: Pervertedly advanced. (And fucking weird).
MY ANALOGY: Jerking off to hentai is like jerking off to a manaquin.
If you can successfully jerk off to a manaquin, that’s amazing, and you probably need a girlfriend. Of course, I haven’t gotten any action in a while, so I can’t really talk, and also, if you can jerk off to a manaquin, I’m sure you can do the same to an actual girl.
“I only like 2-D.”
I hear that a lot in anime, but I don’t believe that it’s possible. You’re saying that if a hot, naked girl stripped off your clothes and started sucking your dick, you wouldn’t feel the least bit aroused? That’s defies human nature and reproduction.
Bottomline: The Genre of Hentai……I just ignore it. You can throw some tits in an anime and I certainly won’t mind, but don’t expect the same reaction from seeing tits in a real movie.
Is hentai weird? Without a doubt.
Is it kind of fucked up? Um, yes. AT TIMES, VERY.
Is it the most perverted porn type out there? NO WAY IN HELL. Here is a list of more perverted things:
- I once saw 2 girls 1 cup. Not sure if that was porn, but I gagged, and I bet there are people that didn’t.
- Personally, gay porn.
- Shemale porn.
- Bukkake (it’s just……no)
- The shit with the whips and chains (I hate that shit….you know like the Gimp from Pulp Fiction? All that leather shit? Weirds me out man)
- Brazillion Farting
- BESTIALITY (that shit is FUCKED)
I mean, when you think about it in context to the previously listed types of porn, then an animated scene of two people fucking almost seems clean and justly. (I still find it pretty funny though).
I somehow forgot how creative the mind can be, and also how fucked up it can be…..not only are all of these things all possible in hentai, but the frequencies are heightened, and new categories (such as gore WTF SERIOUSLY) can be created. I honestly don’t know what to thing. I should have never typed in “gross hentai”. My night is ruined. I’ll never get hard again…….time to go jerk off…..