Fight Ippatsu! Juudan-chan!!: Wow. Just Wow.

First of all, I would like to extend some birthday wishes to my friend and colleague, Oballer, as he finally has turned 21, and is now a man. I don’t have money and I don’t buy presents, but take pride in knowing that you’ll be getting a huge boost in views courtesy of the link I just provided.

Just when you thought that you would have to wait until the next season of Queen’s Blade to see fanservice become ridiculous, here comes

Fight Ippatsu! Juuden-chan!!

I expected fanservice, but not this.

Okay, so there aren’t scantily clad warriors with huge tits running around, and the plot seems to be at least a little bit more normal (for an anime). But man, Japanese people and their shit.

Premise: A girl named Plug comes from a parrallel dimension, and their jobs in said dinemsion include coming to our dimension to “charge” people up, if their “happiness” level is C or higher. Let me explain this a bit better. Here are the levels of happiness (that’s not really what they’re called, but that’s what they are):

  1. A: Most Depressed, could commit suicide.
  2. B: Depressed. Humans become unmotivated and tired, and in the end, their hearts can become weak.
  3. C: Slightly Depressed. Life energy begins to drop.
  4. D: I don’t even know if there is a “D”. I haven’t seen one, so I’ll assume that there isn’t for whatever reason.
  5. E: Happy, normal.
  6. F: Best.

Plug’s job is to charge those with C-Level depression, to make them happier. She apparently she sucks at it.

Even though Plug can not be seen by people in “our world”, one poorly animated dude named Sentou can randomly see her for no real reason at all:

What's up with this dude's nose? It looks like a piece of shit. Did the animators even try?

What's up with this dude's nose? It looks like a piece of shit. Did the animators even try? This dude is made out of scribbles. His sideburns and eyebrows are the same way. This is going to piss me off for the rest of this show, if I decide not to drop it.

Is the animation poor? Not really, but the character design of Sentou is one of the worst I have ever seen. Anyway, this episode centers around Sentou’s sister, who is a C-Level. On to the fanservice.

Yes, I compared this show to Queen’s Blade. I never thought that any show could be compared to such a borderline porn as Queen’s Blade. But look what I’ve found:

She pissed herself.

Oh look, more piss.

Wow, more piss.

What is it with girls pissing themselves in anime? If they were trying to make the whole “lol she pissed herself” thing humorous, then they really botched it, because it wasn’t that funny. Man, she’s really goin’ for it on that last one. Anyway, somewhere in the middle of the show, they decided to randomly show some tentacle rape in the form of a TV show that Plug randomly started watching:

Random tentacle rape.

There was absolutely no point to having this put in the show. It wasn't even funny, really.

One last thing, the ED. (I don’t remember seeing an OP, come to think of it). I thought that the song was pretty good. As for the video, it was 100% pointless fanservice. This show might as well be porn. Look, even the landmarks in the ED served as fanservice:

It's a Tit-Jetty!

The ED get's my approval, just because this scene is awesome.

Here’s the full thing in case you were curious:

There are two ways this show could go, it could get pretty damn funny, or pretty damn bad. This show looks pretty bad. I might even say it sucks. It’s not really that funny (I thought it would be a lot funnier). The jokes aren’t….well…..they’re aren’t really any jokes. It’s all just fanservice with a stupid plot. I mean, fanservice can be great if used correctly, but this is just dumb. I’ll continue watching it, but I’m not going to guarantee finishing it (I usually try to finish shows, but I’m going to start being more aggressive with them. ie, if it sucks, it’s gone). maybe I should start watching previews:

NOTE: I’m almost positive that that’s the OP (not the ED), but for some reason it showed up it at the end of the episode (at least on the torrent I downloaded). Assume that for every time I said “ED” in this post I meant “OP”.

Umi Monogatari: First Imp-yaaawwwwnn-ressions

If I suddenly stop posting in a few weeks, expect it to be because I died of boredom due to viewing this damn show.

Umi Monogatari

Summer has arrived.

Okay so it’s not really that bad (in fact, it’s quite good), but the OP sure is (boring):

If that’s not the most boring OP you’ve seen, then you aren’t me, because it’s the most boring OP I’ve ever seen. And you know what’s REALLY funny? The person who put this video on YouTube? Said person’s name is SleepSubpuntNL. SLEEPsub. SLEEP. Get it? The OP is really boring and the dude’s name is SLEEPsubpuntNL. SLEEP. SLEE- okay enough of that shit. The ED is kind of the same deal, although I will admit that I like the music throughout the course of the show (which is kind of the same type of music as the OP and ED)…..go figure.

Believe it or not, I actually find that I kind of like the show (this is the same for every first impressions post I’ve ever written ever….except Moon Phase, which sucks, and is on hold) and it’s characters especially. The animation seems pretty damn good too, although I did just watch a bunch of Asura Cryin’.

Premise: What better way to kick off the summer season then with a beach show, eh? The grand scheme of this banger is that a ring floats down from somewhere above the surface of the ocean, and is found by a girl named Marin. Marin lives underwater. No, she’s not a mermaid, she actually looks like a normal human (except the ears). She and her sister, Urin, decide to go up to the surface to give it back to her. Now, I will tell you that the whole show isn’t going to be about giving the ring back to this girl (who is an AWESOME character, and will probably be my favorite of the summer season, or at least my top 5), as the ring seems to just be a catalyst for other events that will be happening. Basically, They find Kanon, who threw the ring (that her now ex boyfriend gave her) into the water, because she didn’t want it anymore. A bunch of other stuff happens, but I’m not going to tell you.

Now. as for the characters, which I believe, coupled with the seemingly strong animation, could be the catalyst for me liking the show (that’s the second time I used catalyst….I need to broaden my vocabulary). There’s got to be a reason why I like her character so much…..what can it be?

Evil Aura is Awesome Aura

She’s just awesome. The show appears to be awesome too, for the time being.


Good Points:

  • Characters
  • Animation (I expected Akikan animation, so maybe I’m over valuing this show in this aspect)
  • Story (seems decent)
  • While there is fanservice (what show doesn’t have fanservice now), it’s not the kind that is blatant. It’s tastefully amusing. Most of the times, it will be pointed out or exemplified by other, minor characters in the show (usually men staring at hiney).

Not So Good Points:

  • I an see this show falling apart or losing my interest pretty easily. As long as Kanon stays cool, then this really shouldn’t be an issue.
  • I don’t like some of the costumes.

I picked this up because I thought it would be bad (if that makes any sense at all), but I find myself presently surprised. Can’t wait for more summer shows to start coming out! WEEEEEEE what am I, 4 years old?

EDIT: I should point out that I only watched the first 7 seconds of the ED. I have since watched it in it’s entirety, and have come to the conclusion that I still don’t like it. It’s too “cutey-wootsy-little-bootsie” for me, and I just don’t like it. I mean, it’s not the worst ED I’ve seen, and I don’t necessarily hate it, but no, it’s not to my liking. Thank you for your patronage.

Kurokami: Holy Shi-

Okay okay okay…….first of all, let me explain my odd, staggered viewing schedule regarding Kurokami: The Animation. I started watching it when there were about 7 episodes released, and I caught up in no time at all, but then I abruptly stopped watching it after episode 12 (it was a perfect stopping point…Wikipedia says that there are two seasons, and 12 is the end of season 1, but that’s bullshit because usually seasons have a break in between). Then I waited. I waited until it was over, and then I steamrolled my way through the second half. Why did I do this? Because Kurokami is one of those shows that, once I start an episode, I can’t stop watching it until the series is over. (aka addictive).

Kurokami: The Animation

I hated Kuro at first, but she transforming into an awesome character.

Okay, where is all of the talk about how awesome this show is? Considering that it kicks more ass than Bill the Ass-Kicker, people should be yelling to the skies, “KUROKAMI IS AWESOME!” I myself want to bellow it from the top of a mountain. But I don’t have a mountain, I have an ISSS, and today’s thoughts in Glo the Legend’s world go a little something like:


Premise: The coolest shit ever….okay maybe not the coolest, but the plot was good enough to keep me interested. I’m not even going to explain the Doppleliner System and Terra and all that awesomenesss, because it’s too fucking cool. Especially the second half. It blew my fucking mind.

I mean, sure, toward the end, Kurokami may have completely ripped off Zelda: Ocarina of Time, with it’s own version of Koume and Kotake, Twinrova:

Koume and Kotake?


fire 1

fire 2

And Frost:

frost 1

frost 2

The plot was pretty much irreverent through my eyes. It could have been about the dumbest things ever. The main reason why I liked this show was because it had some of the sickest action sequences that I’ve seen in a while. Sick poses and quick paced movements, coupled with sweet moves gave this anime an aggressive, in your face, smash hammer mallet feel that I haven’t felt in a while. Now, before you think I’m completely riding the Kuro-cock, let me talk about all of the bad things (which are obviously spoilers durrr):

Very Bad Things (not the movie….I hated that movie):

  • First of all, Akane was the stupidest character ever in the world. I just didn’t like her. First of all, she looked fucking retarded. Second of all, she didn’t have any real purpose (until the end, where she had a rather large purpose, but she was still pointless throughout, and was mainly a nuisance) not to mention she wore way too much lipstick (I’m serious, how old was Akane……..34? She looked like it). She was too tall….she looked like some kind of Dutch freak (definitely not Japanese…didn’t look Japanese at all). I wanted her to die or something (that’s morbid) but instead she marries Keitain the last episode. Talk about shitty.
  • Second of all, there was so much cliche bullshit that it wasn’t even funny. During the final final fight, where Keita merges with Akane’s massive terra, Kuro says, “I can not only feel their terra, but their feelings too.” Give me a fucking break. The only thing that saved that scene was the nasty fighting sequence that followed shortly thereafter. I mean, there was cliche bullshit all over this show. All this “defeating fate” crap. Do you know the definition of fate?

fate // (ft)



a. The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
b. The inevitable events*** predestined by this force.
2. A final result or consequence; an outcome.
3. Unfavorable destiny; doom.
4. Fates Greek & Roman Mythology The three goddesses, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, who control human destiny. Used with the.
***INEVITABLE EVENTS. You can’t change something that is inevitable. I hate shows where the main characters “defeat fate”. I call bullshit on that.
  • Kuro’s hair. Was it black? Was it red? Just what’s going on there?
  • That stupid dog.
  • The moves may have been kind of cool, but the names sucked…..Mega Cannon? Mega Exe (short for exceed I’m assuming)? I mean, I thought that Kuro would  have three moves: First, Mega Exe, then Giga Exe. This progression did in fact happen, but where was the Tera Exe (as in Terabyte/Terra)? Not only does it continue the pattern that I thought was developing, but it also makes reference to the power that they use to produce such moves. I guess double innuendos are too smart for this creative bunch of idiots.
  • A bunch of other minor things that I noticed but now forgot.
Now, that’s a lot of stuff that I didn’t like, and some of it was kind of major (like the plot of defeating fate… way I should give this anime anything more than a 4, right?). Well….I’ll admit I didn’t like a lot of things, but what’s really impressive about this anime, is that the fighting, and overall plot development (besides the “fate” shit) made me forget all of the crappy aspects of this show, and instead gaze in awe at the awesomeness of it. If a show can make you overlook it’s faults, then that’s saying something.
Every single episode I sat there and shook my head. “This is fuckin awesome.” I would mutter to my self. I thought that this anime was good, and if it had not been for the bullshit that surrounded it, maybe it would have gotten a better grade than a

The bullshit brought it down two grades, too bad.

Anime Genres – Hentai

NOTE: I wrote this post, and then re-read it. After doing so, I decided to add “two categories that hentai fall into”. I then did a search for “gross hentai” (because I decided, “Maybe I should research some of this”……BAD IDEA. So yea, read this with the notion that I went back through and added stuff, which I put in parenthesis, or added after cross outs. I don’t care about the quality of this post. Everything got messed up kind of. I may contradict myself several times. Feel free to rip this post to shreds with your words, print the page out, and burn it. I’m not re-reading it again….I just can’t do it.

My last “Anime Genre” was “slice of life”, which was apparently “the most epic fail of all time”. Well I’m back, and this time I’m covering something a little more……..well……’s porn. First, let’s get a definition:

Hentai (変態 or へんたい?) Hentai.ogg listen (help·info) is a Japanese word that, in the West, is used when referring to sexually explicit or pornographic comics and animation, particularly Japanese anime, manga and computer games (see Japanese pornography). In Japan it can be used to mean “metamorphosis” or “abnormality”. The word “hentai” has a negative connotation to the Japanese and is commonly used to mean “sexually perverted“. God damn weird, and most times, extremely funny.

(Taken from Wikipedia, yea, I used it again)

I don’t need to explain this, really. If you like anime/have watched porn on a pornsite/are alive, you know by now what hentai means.

  • America (sorry), The West= Anime Porn
  • Japan = Any Porn (put an H in front of something and it becomes porn, H Anime= Porn Anime……this could be totally wrong, feel free to call me out on it if it is.)

So, what do I think about hentai (anime)? Well, I don’t find pleasure in it, but I’m not going to feign ignorance in believing that hentai is unpopular, and that there aren’t millions of people who twank their crank to animated whores getting their round the world from some animated penis. I mean, there are plently of porn sites that list “hentai” as a category. It’s pretty much become accepted as a porn type. I personally think cartoon porn and gay stuff like that falls into two categories:

  1. Funny
  2. Weird/Borderline Gross (I was going to actually show examples of “gross hentai”…..but I severely underestimated exactly what “gross hentai” entailed. I dare you to type in “gross hentai” in google with ther preferences at the lowest setting. I DARE YOU. I almost threw up, and was forced to add another category (I should mention that I had written this whole post, and came back and added these 3 things, so I will now re-review this post and cross things out, and add things in based on the search of “gross hentai”:
  3. Extremely Wrong in every possible way possible ever.

I read enough anime blogs to know what hentai is, and all of the weird odds and ends of it (I apparently knew nothing. I have now seen things, although briefly, that make the following image seem tasteful). I mean, weird hentai is one of the oldest forms of porn there is (this can no longer be weird hentai….I think this is normal hentai…this whole post has been turned upside down. My veiws of hentai are altered. Black is down, up is white):

Katsushika Hokusai - Dream of the Fishermans Wife (1820)

Katsushika Hokusai - Dream of the Fishermans Wife (1820)

Okay, I first saw this “famous work of art” in my art history class about a year ago. The first thing I thought of was hentai, not going to lie. I laughed my ass off during class, and everyone looked at me weird. “This is the original tentacle rape,” I thought to myself. “Man,” I thought, “Who draws this stuff?” I guess Japan is just pervertedly advanced as a nation (understatement….wtf, Japan!?).

Do I find hentai arousing? No. To be honest, I do not. Certainly not for shucking my corncob. FUCK NO. I’m a 3-D guy through and through. Hentai is good for 2 things:

  1. Making me laugh my balls off.
  2. Weirding me out big-time.
  3. Scaring the shit out of me.

Well, I guess technically I could say yes , if you consider hentai to be normal porn of normal women from the country of Japan (which I no longer believe it to be at all). I mean I’ve got a thing for the Japanese babes. They float my boat (although there are many, many exceptions to this).

Hmmm… know, after looking at that last picture (or link), I don’t think I like Japanese girls anymore (complete and utter lie). That was so far opposite of sexy that I cringed. I think Latinas are the new me (not really, although they are really fucking hot….I see you Vida Guerra). A certain friend would agree with that (the fact that latinas are smokin). This certain friend also believes that I like liked Japanese women only because they’re as close to anime girls as I could get. I can’t say that this is true, I mean, I was obsessed with Japan (and their women) long before I found anime. Anime just kind of came from my Japanese obsession. But yea, I used to have many pictures of certain Japanese hotties (devoid of clothes) on my computer (it comes with the title of “most perverted bloggers”…..of course, this title is wrong since this is an ISSS). Time out for pictures:

The Good:

Asian = Okay Good.

The Bad:

I shouldn't say bad. I mean, if I thought that pictures of anime girls looked bad I wouldn't watch anime (frankly I think anime looks cool, which is one of the reasons I started watching it). I should say, "not arousing."

I shouldn't say bad. I mean, if I thought that pictures of anime girls looked bad I wouldn't watch anime. They're athstetically pleasing but not arousing in the least. If this girl was real, she would be hot (and probably not Japanese...anime characters rarely look Asian), but she's got the cartoon eyes and the non realness, and......I dunno I just can't get into it. This is a long ass caption. This is tasteful and good, but now it's even more less arousing than before. This is still the longest caption ever though.

This is not, “the bad”. “The bad” is anything found in the search of “gross hentai”. I have a feeling that I’m going to get a lot of negativity/spam from this post.

The Funny:


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS WHY HENTAI IS FUNNY AS FUCK. (is this really hentai? Or comedy? I can't see anyone getting turned on by this....then again there's some seriously perverted shit out there. (this is still really funny, even after the re-review)

If I saw a picture of a hot, naked Asian babe, I’d simply right click and save (who wouldn’t?). Sometimes they would save as files named, soso959854, and other times they would be something like asian_japan_6948, other times, they would be something like 1.hentai_94483. I didn’t bother renaming them, that’s a fucking hassle. So I guess technically, if you really look into it, I do find hentai arousing (but not the cartoon kind……that’s just weird…I have a good analogy at the end of this page). However, these all disappeared during the Great Computer Crash of 08 (the second of two that year), and I have since abstained from storing any provocative images on my computer since (even though all of my computer problems are always hardware related, and have nothing to do with viruses).

Do I hate people who enjoy hentai (anime)? Hell no. Not at all. I mean, as long as they aren’t obsessed with it, and/or talk about it all the time, and/or mention how “That girl over there isn’t as hot as Rei from NGE.” I mean sure in the past I would probably make fun of someone and beat their ass with a large wooden stake, but I have become a lot more accepting of people and their likes and dislikes during this past year (exceptions include hobos, feminists, and hippies especially, they could all explode in a giant fireball and die for all I care….oh, and throw the animal activists in there too, they’re fucking gay), so no (unless you enjoy any hentai found after performing the search “gross hentai” in google). I still might make fun of you a little (I mean…..c’mon, you watch cartoon porn), but it would just be to bust your balls, I honestly am unbothered by anyone who watches hentai (unless it’s gross….then just don’t tell me). Watch to your hearts content (or seek help), I don’t give a shit.

I mean, what percent of anime watchers indulge in animated porn? My guess would probably be around 73%. Maybe even higher (I pulled that out of my ass…maybe it’s 5% and I’m an idiot (I somehow doubt that). Most bloggers that I like probably find themselves engrossed in it from time to time, but I still read their sites, and I don’t think less of them either except for the fact that they’re fucking pieces of shit.

Have I ever watched hentai? Well, duh, I wouldn’t write this otherwise. I remember at this kid’s house one day, we (me, him, and Matthew Parrotti) were recording for Loo$e Change, and randomly came across a hentai clip, and it was fucking hilarious. I literally laughed until my sides hurt. I don’t remember what it was (it was mainly funny to me because of the shock value, as I had never known about this (you want shock value, type in “gross hentai” in google).

I mean, I’m pretty sure the story lines are ridiculous too (all porn is like that really). So there’s no point for me to watch hentai. Of course, I’ve watched Queen’s Blade, and even though it’s not technically hentai, it’s still pretty bad Queen’s Blade was awesome,  and pretty close to hentai. not even close to hentai. Here’s a picture of some hentai that I didn’t draw in paint:

How can people find this sexy?

How can people find this sexy? I didn't draw this in MS Paint...


Anime: Awesome. I love it.

Hentai: Weird. Not jerk-off material.

3-D: My preference.

Japan: Pervertedly advanced. (And fucking weird).

MY ANALOGY: Jerking off to hentai is like jerking off to a manaquin.

If you can successfully jerk off to a manaquin, that’s amazing, and you probably need a girlfriend. Of course, I haven’t gotten any action in a while, so I can’t really talk, and also, if you can jerk off to a manaquin, I’m sure you can do the same to an actual girl.

“I only like 2-D.”

I hear that a lot in anime, but I don’t believe that it’s possible. You’re saying that if a hot, naked girl stripped off your clothes and started sucking your dick, you wouldn’t feel the least bit aroused? That’s defies human nature and reproduction.

Bottomline: The Genre of Hentai……I just ignore it. You can throw some tits in an anime and I certainly won’t mind, but don’t expect the same reaction from seeing tits in a real movie.

Other Bottomline:

Is hentai weird? Without a doubt.

Is it kind of fucked up? Um, yes. AT TIMES, VERY.

Is it the most perverted porn type out there? NO WAY IN HELL. Here is a list of more perverted things:

  • I once saw 2 girls 1 cup. Not sure if that was porn, but I gagged, and I bet there are people that didn’t.
  • Personally, gay porn.
  • Shemale porn.
  • Bukkake (it’s just……no)
  • The shit with the whips and chains (I hate that shit….you know like the Gimp from Pulp Fiction? All that leather shit? Weirds me out man)
  • Brazillion Farting
  • BESTIALITY (that shit is FUCKED)

I mean, when you think about it in context to the previously listed types of porn, then an animated scene of two people fucking almost seems clean and justly. (I still find it pretty funny though).

I somehow forgot how creative the mind can be, and also how fucked up it can be…..not only are all of these things all possible in hentai, but the frequencies are heightened, and new categories (such as gore WTF SERIOUSLY) can be created. I honestly don’t know what to thing. I should have never typed in “gross hentai”. My night is ruined. I’ll never get hard again…….time to go jerk off…..

Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu 3: The Same as Last Episode! Or is it just deja vu?

This episode was the same as last episode:

Wasn't this last episode? Must be deja vu...

O-Bon...again!? Must be deja vu....

The same part time job? Must be deja vu...

So all of this stuff, that I thought happened last episode, is happening again. Of course, Kyon sort of realizes this too, but dismisses it as deja vu. But then something happens that not only makes last episode a lot better, but also……..well……it makes last episode better. I mean, I kind of expected (from the first scene with Kyon watching TV) that this would be the case.

Endless recurssion of time? Sounds like dej- Oh wait a minute.

So apparently the SOS brigade, and everyone on Earth has been repeating Haruhi’s summer vacation, because Haruhi has something that she subconsciously wants to do. Everyone’s memories reset each time, although Kyon and company realize it’s happening, because their closer to Haruhi. However, they mostly dismiss it as deja vu. The only one who has kept their memories for every recursion was Nagato, and she’s gone through this cycle how long?


Wow…..holy shit actually. How many days is that?

Yea, I'd be bored.

594 YEARS....Holy wow.

So how do they get out of this predicament? Well, Haruhi wants to do something, and they need to know what it is. However, nothing can be accomplished, and Kyon goes to bed ready to start the whole thing over again.

Thoughts and Shit: This episode makes the last one 60.78 times better exactly. I love things that deal with time. This show is kicking ass, and it only just hit me that Haruhi is actually BACK. This episode ends with a lot of anticipation, and I can’t wait for the next one.

UNRELATED SIDE NOTE: Kurokami is awesome. I should be finished tonight, as I marathoned the second half. It’s awesome. Awesome action. Awesomeness, even if the animation is sometimes lacking.

Search Post Episode 2

That’s right, here is another one.


Today we will examine: “one piece” nami porn, funny anime boobs, and, my favorite, bumps on the penis shaft.

“one piece” nami porn

This dude has class. I mean, he remembered to incorperate the quotations around One Piece…..oooo, but he forgot the rules regarding Proper Nouns. He should have written “One Piece” Nami porn. Of course, while that would make it better grammatically, it still does not take away from he fact that you are looking up One Piece Nami porn, none, of which you will find on my site.

funny anime boobs

I wanna meet this guy. In fact, I’m going to type this in and see what comes up……yea basically just anime porn. Although I did see this, which was funny:

Mai Otome was a great show.

bumps on the penis shaft

Ummm…….yea, I don’t have anything here about bumps on the penis shaft, but I’m pretty sure that if you have them, you should consult your physician. Apparently this guy wasn’t done though, because someone later typed in “penis bumps”. Just goes to prove, if you ain’t got a jacket, don’t start the racket. (I just made that up bitch).

anime cerix

I just noticed this one. Why would you want to see an anime cervix? That’s just weird, in several different way. That wouldn’t turn me on if it wasn’t anime. That’s just……blachh.

Well so ends another fine day. I’ve been really busy with family stuff, so I’m barely putting posts out or watching any anime, and this was kind of a filler, although I did find the penis bumps thing funny….I woder what my related posts list will look like?