Queen’s Blade: Ridiculous Review

Queen’s Blade was poorly written, had horrible characters, was nothing but ridiculous fan service, and was one of the best shows this spring.

Queen’s Blade

The essence of Queen's Blade

Premise: Boobs and ass.

I’m just going to ignore the whole plot pretty much, because this show is mainly about the characters, (and their boob size, which I’m ignoring)

Characters: (-3 to +3) Totals: -15 = Horrid 15 = Amazing

Reina: If you have followed my reviews of episodes throughout the season, then you know by now that I hate Reina. Her character design sucks. Her personality, or lack there of, sucks. Her fighting sucks (until she randomly got better randomly during one episode). She just sucks. I hate her. Can’t wait to see her fall off several cliffs next season.


Nanael: Deformed Angel. Sometimes she is cool, but she’s also so stupid sometimes that she’s annoying. For a while she was my favorite character, and then I hated her. Now? I don’t know, she was alright.


Risty: Okay character. She didn’t do much, and only stole once. She’s supposed to be a thief, I’d like to see her steal everything.


Elina: Awesome lesbian/incest sister of Reina. She’s actually cool, even though I don’t condone incest.


Claudette: Fucking stupid stuck up bitch. I didn’t like her. Also, she failed at killing Reina. Worthless.


Melona: Reminds me of skin cancer (melanoma). She can squeeze acid from her tits. They once blew up. Rie Kugimiya.


Echidna: Another cool character, because she wore a snake as underwear, and that’s cool. Is she my favorite? No. My favorite is that elf who appears in one episode, and then again briefly during the last episode (Nowa’s master). I can’t remember her name, but they should have used her more.


Shizuka: One of the actual good characters. Her and tomoe are a great pairing.


Tomoe: A great pairing with Shizuka. Dare I say? Shizmoe?


Nowa: Stupid loli bitch. You have no breasts, thus you have no place in this anime. Put on some God damn underwear you whore.


Airi: Awesome lesbian maid.


Menace: Stuck up bitch. She looks cool though with that Egyptian attire, however, her cat staff thingy is a guy, and guys aren’t allowed in Queen’s Blade. Stop breaking the rules bitch.


Cattleya: She’s the funniest character from the funniest episode. Her tits are so ridiculous in size that it’s ridiculous. She loves to suffocate her child with her bosom.


That’s all of them I think…..well….all of the important ones. So based on this, my overall view of the characters in this show is


Pretty good, especially considering that Reina sucks, and she’s the main character. She should have been -15 by herself.

As for the show, it got a little better as it went on, but all I want to see is the ridiculousness of the scenes (the episode with Cattleya was hilarious). The writing was really bad, which is why I can’t give it a 5 or higher, but Queen’s Blade is entertaining, so I’ll give it a respectable (for this show it is)


If this show had no fanservice/softcore porn, it could have been incredibly awesome. I still believe it. Whatever, this was entertaining.