Things That Suck 2: People

Take a step back. Breath. Are you ready? This is might be a lot for you to take in, as it requires READING. Okay, let’s start.

Let’s see, should I make a list? No that would never end. I’ll start off with what I know.

I’ve wanted to write this post since the day I created this ISSS, and I finally got the incentive in the form of a text I just received at 2:37 in the AM Eastern Time on Sunday, October 18th, 2009. I was writing a comment on Low on Hit Points, when I got a text from my pal Joe, who goes to school in WNEC, and unlike me, is graduating on time.

Now, I don’t know what the deal is with people who graduate on time. Maybe they think they’re special. Maybe they think that they are allowed to give other people’s things away on a whim. Yup, it’s your world, we’re all just living in it. Bottom line is:

People Can Not Be Trusted With Your Shit

The artists signed it. Get off my back.

The artists signed it. Get off my back.

Just as Joe proved with giving my fucking hat away. I proved by stealing his fucking car. Me and a friend were intoxicated the other weekend, and Joe had trusted me with his keys. Needless to say, I drove his car without permission, (completely shit faced) back to my house, dropped my friend off at her house, and drove back to the bar. Joe didn’t care, but he should have. That was a dick move on my part. Obviously, I am not to be trusted with other people’s shit. That is because I am a person, and people suck.

Have you ever let someone borrow a pencil or something, and then they give it back to you all chewed up? That’s fuckin gross dude, don’t eat my pencil, I said you could borrow it not consume it. Or maybe they don’t chew it. Maybe they’re over-sharpeners, and don’t know when it’s time to pull out. They just keep the pencil in the sharpener and keep grinding away at it, even though it’s been sharp for a while now. That’s like fucking someone after you’ve already gone soft, there’s no fucking point (Get it? If you don’t realize how nasty that last line is in reference to he rest of this paragraph, then shame on you. That was literary genius.)

They Judge Others, But Not Themselves

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE GEASS DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO JUDGE THINGS!

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE GEASS DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO JUDGE THINGS!

I know, I know, people are morons, I’ll get to that later. But for now, I’m not going to talk about all of the FUCKING RETARDED SHIT I’ve had to deal with people, I’m going to talk about how everybody thinks that their shit don’t stink, and that they’re God’s gift to man. Well I got news for all of you self centered ass holes out there: God doesn’t exists, and shit stinking is something that I personally take pride in.

I know how to judge myself: Very Highly. I’m never satisfied with anything that I do. Everything I do sucks (at least I think so…my teachers disagree). Still, my life isn’t exactly how I would like it to be right now, but I guess it’s good enough until I become rich somehow.

One thing I take a lot of pride is is the fact that I do nothing. I’m lazy, a procratinater, I put things off, I slack, and if I don’t want to do something, I simply won’t try or put any caring into doing it. I think I’ve studied 5 times in my entire life for anything:

  1. A quiz in middle school on the elements of the periodic table – got a 97
  2. Some Spanish quizzes I think 2.
  3. Some Japanese quizzes and stuff….I actually studied for a lot of this because it was a subject I found interesting, so these don’t count.

That’s all I can remember. I never studied for any math, english, history, or geography in my life. Because all you have to do for those is pay attention in class (I usually draw or sleep in class). Now with all of this, you may be thinking, “This kid’s a failure at life.” Actually, I get pretty solid grades. Here’s an example:

A week ago, I had a History Test. I didn’t study, nor did I pay much attention in class. The girl next to me took such extensive notes that I had no choice but to make fun of her for it. Also, I noticed she used a cheat sheet during the test. Glo the Legend has no need for a cheat sheet. I took that test, and bullshitted my way to a solid 85. Not bad. What did she, the girl who studied lots even though she tells me daily that she doesn’t care about that class at all? She got an 85. This proves that I’m smarter than her.

People have been complaining about my work ethic since middle school, telling me time and time again that I’m going to fail out of middle school/high school/college. Well I’m almost done with college, and I’m probably going to get a 3.6 GPA at least (If I get less I will actually be mad). Basically, I am awesome.

Okay, enough of this self-evaluation of my life. What in the fucking God damn world was I even fucking talking about? I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I hate stuck up fuck heads that walk around with the noses in the air. I also hate Jesus freaks. You’re all going to hell.

Oh, here’s another thing I hate. Why do people put a label on you just because you like anime. Or anything for that matter? People like different things. Get used to it. Ever been to New York City? I love going there, because you’re always accepted no matter what. New York City kicks ass, and I’m going there this Saturday and I’m excited.

People Are Really Fucking Stupid

First of all, girls don't fart, second of all, Osaka isn't smart (but she was a great character).

First of all, girls don't fart or poop, second of all, Osaka isn't smart (but she was a great character).

I’m not going to explain this, instead, I’m going to use actual events from my life that prove this statement, and some videos (God knows there’s billions on the internet).

I used to work at a theme park (Lake Compounce in Bristol CT). This was the worst job that I ever had, and brought to light just how many stupid people make travels to theme parks. Apparently not many that can see, are literate, and can comprehend culture or symbols or the human language for that matter (that’s a lot of shit to not understand). I was working behind the counter at La Fiesta, a stand that, quite obviously, sold Mexican food. Next to the counter is a huge fucking sign. You can’t possibly ever miss it. This huge sign is, in fact, what we like to call, a “menu”. I think I’m going to have to explain this, because nobody who got food at this stand seemed to understand what the function of a menu was.

A “menu” is a list (usually on a paper or in this case, a big-ass sign) that shows what an establishment has to offer to the customers (this usually applies to food and drink in restaurants). It shows not only was items are available, but also HOW MUCH THEY COST.

Example #1:

Two persons come up to the stand. A dialogue between me and the persons takes place.

Me: How can I help you.

Person: Can I have some curly fries?

Now, I don’t know how many of you have been to Mexico, but curly fries are not considered vintage Mexican cuisine. I immediately think “oh God here we go with this bullshit.”

Me: We don’t have curly fries. We only have items that are on the menu (points out the giant fucking menu that even a blind person would be able to bump into).

Person: Oh. (at this point, he considers the menu, which includes tacos, burritos, nachos, taco salad, and churros, which, by the way, taste amazing).

Person: Can I have a cheeseburger?

At this point I start bleeding from the ear.

Me: We don’t serve that here, we only have things that are on the menu. Cheeseburgers and stuff can be sold over there (point literally right across the…well I guess you could call it a street? Path maybe? Anyway, it was literally 20 steps away.)

Person: Oh (looks enlightened, but not embarrassed at all.  It’s as if he thought not being able to  comprehend a menu was a mistake made by anyone. Sadly, he was kind of right).

Video Example One

The black guy sliding down the escalator is the MAN.

Example #2:

A Person comes up to the stand (it’s really more of a small building, but whatever)

Can I get a burrito, and two soft tacos?

Me: Sure anything else?

Person: Can I have peppers and onions on my taco.

Me: We don’t have any peppers and onions (I stated this clearly, and there is no way anyone could misunderstand, apparently, she did)

Person: Okay, I’ll just have a little peppers and onions then.

I just dismissed this last comment by her, and made her a fucking taco, with no peppers or onions. She didn’t seem to notice.

Video Example Two

Well encoding is disabled because the person who put this video up is a stuck up faggot, so here’s a link to it anyway.

LINK.

The one with the gymnastics (like the second one) is just awesome. Not really stupid, just awesome.

Example #3:

The amount of people asking to have funnel cakes, which were served on the other side of the building.

Example #4:

The amount of people who would order a shit load of stuff, and then realize that they had no money, so they would leave. Yea, you didn’t just waste about 36 dollars of food or anything. Good job, you’re awesome.

Okay, that’s all for right now. I’ll finish this some other time. I’m no where near done on this shit yet.

(sleeps…a very good sleep in fact, it looks as though Sleep has finally come crawling back. No one can stay away from Glo for too long without yearning so some of my sweet lovin)

It is now 8:31 PM on Monday October 19th, 2009. And wouldn’t you know it, today in one of my classes, we talked about freedom of speech and censorship in America. I had a lot to say on the subject, and it all applies to this post as well, so….

People Are Too God Damn Sensitive

Couldn't they think of a better way to censor? Those bats annoyed me a lot.

Everyone is a pussy. A friend of mine got arrested for calling another person a fag. Now, I realize that the name “fag” can be offensive to someone who is homosexual (which was the case). I understand that. But honestly, he called you a fucking name. What’s so different about calling someone a fag or a loser?

Glo, some names can be offensive. These are hate crimes you’re talking about!

You shut the fuck up, Voice! it doesn’t matter, they’re fucking words. Are you saying I can’t call a stupid person stupid? I’m all for being politically correct, but it’s fucking rediculous now. Did you know that the word “suspect” is considered politically incorrect? WHAT THE FUCK? The whole theory behind political correctness is bullshit in the first place:

A person is politically correct, for the sole purpose of appearing politically correct to other people. In term, people applaud others for being politically correct, but they’re just doing that for the same reason, they want to appear politically correct. In reality, does anyone give a fuck about political correctness? No, it’s all about image. BULLSHIT. Now back to how words can hurt (even though they can’t).

It’s not like someone is pummeling you into the ground based on the fact that you’re gay or black or white or have a penis growing out of your head or something (this brings me to another point. Ever seen the Oblongs? That show sucked. It was so fucking bad and I’m glad it’s not on anymore.). Grow a set. Learn how to take criticism. Honestly, The entire world makes art students look like the most brawny people alive, because we can take hard criticism and not think twice about it. In fact, in class when we were talking about this subject, all of the kids (even the gay kid in my class) agreed that everyone is too soft when it comes to being called names. They’re words, and if they do any “psychological damage” to you, then congrats, you’re a pussy, go cry in the corner and cut yourself you emo fag. This brings me to my next topic, Censorship. This applies mainly to America, because other countries aren’t as fucking sensitive and ball-less as America.

America censors everything and it’s mother. “Dear God no! Let’s not show boobs on TV! That would damage a child for life if they saw it!” Listen to me all of you fucking stupid mothers out there, who have never had balls, except on your chin or smacking against your underside, you are all too sensitive. I saw not only boobs, but boobs, ass, and even vagina (the hairy kind), in a Playboy mag when I was like…..6. It didn’t damage me at all. I’m perfect. Yes, I am lazy,  procrastinate, etc, but I am perfect at doing it. In fact, I submit that I am a better procrastinator than anyone out there. I have a paper due tomorrow. Am I going to read the necessary pages? Am I going to write the paper? No and no. But I will get it done, and I will get an A, because I am fucking perfect.

In Europe, they show boobs and naked babes on TV all the time. In store window displays, they’ll have a naked hoochy showing off some soap products, no problem. Do people stand around the picture and beat off furiously? No, because it’s an ad, and people in Europe aren’t fucking morons like people in America are. Honestly, why does America feel the need to censor everything they see? No nudity they say. What are you going to do when I stand in front of the mirror? Gasp! I’ll be without clothes, and my eyes will burn out of their sockets, and my held will melt, and I will look like that guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark! Well I got news for you FCC and whoever else is censoring this shit, I have seen my nakedness, and it is good. If I could clone myself and have sex with myself, I wouldn’t because I don’t fuck guys, but I would admire myself and tell my clone, “You look damn good.” I should do Adult Entertainment. Not porn. Porn is where some bald guy picks up “random girls” in his van. I’m talking about Adult Entertainment, which is like porn with with class and dignity (if there is such a thing).

People say that America is the greatest country in the world. This is incorrect. America used to be the greatest country in the world. During the revolution? America was fucking awesome. WWI and WWII? Nothing but man and brawn. A time of heros (not to say that people fighting now all around the world aren’t heroes, they are). But these past few decades, the homeland of America has become a giant, pussy, because it has no balls whatsoever. Bullies are bully because they are always trying to compensate for something (err-hem…BALLS). Likewise, why do you think America is ALWAYS in a war? Sure we have good military, but that’s really it. To quote Shoot Em’ Up, which is an awesome fucking movie with Clive Owen: America is a pussy with a gun. Put us on a level playing field with other nations, and we would get fucked because that’s what happens to pussies (kinda took that from Team America: World Police, which is also an awesome movie).

I guess our censorship isn’t as bad a Japan, where porn is censored.

On a side note, people are, for the most part, pretty nice. But they’re still fucking stupid. A nice lady charged me 44 dollars for 3 small pieces of glass the other day. Tomorrow, I’m returning the glass to her store, getting the money back, and cramming a screwdriver up her fat ass (I am not a nice person, except in real life).

Split

Alright, before this post gets too much longer, I’m going to stop here. There are thousands more ways in which people are dumb, but I’ll come back to that some other time I’m sure. I’ll leave you with a scene from Shoot Em Up, one of most awesome movies ever. Is is completely unrealistic? Yes. There is not much realism in this movie. But once you accept that, and realize that it’s supposed to be unrealistic, and decide to just accept everything that happens as believable, this movie truly kicks ass.

Nothing compares to the sex scene though. The sex scene was directing brilliance.

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19 thoughts on “Things That Suck 2: People

  1. Here’s the thing though…Atheism IS a religion…religion is any core set of beliefs about some ultimate truth in the eyes of the person. The BIGGER problem is that people need to just shut the fuck up about their ideas and stop pushing it on other people.

    Other than that, all I have to say is that the rest of this is spot on and that you’re a complete fuckhead for that car story

    • the car story was a dick thing… also about half way thru this post i started to realize jeff you are a whiney bitch.

      and robert… thats wrong.. atheism in not a religion.. for many reasons.. first of all think of what the connotation of religion is, second of all you are over simplifying the definition of a religion.

      A religion is a system of human thought which usually includes a set of narratives, symbols, beliefs and practices that give meaning to the practitioner’s experiences of life through reference to a higher power, deity or deities, or ultimate truth.

      I am an atheist and there is nothing about my being so that involves narratives, symbols, or practices… I dont “practice” atheism, i just dont believe in god cuz im smarter than that.

      • 1) Notice the word “usually”
        2) Notice the word “beliefs”
        3) Notice the phrase “ultimate truth”.

        For you, the ULTIMATE TRUTH is that there is no god. This is something you BELIEVE. Also, as stupid as it sounds, an inaction can still be an action…by not going to church, you are practicing NOT GOING to church. Even if you don’t buy that point, “USUALLY” means the second part of that sentence doesn’t have to be the case every time, meaning that the part of that sentence that is true EVERY TIME is “a religion is a system of human thought”. Also (x2) Connotation is subjective, whereas denotation (what the word ACTUALLY MEANS) is objective. We can’t go on what people think religion means, only the set definition of it.

        REGARDLESS OF ALL OF THIS, my point is that I know plenty of Atheists who try and push their belief that God doesn’t exist on other people, which is JUST AS ANNOYING as religious people who do the same thing. Everyone should just shut up for once and do their own thing.

      • thats wrong again robert… your confusing religion with just the belief… the religion is the act of following and practicing and is a communal activity.. cuz according to you every single person in the entire world is religious… and thats a ridiculous statement.

        Take for example people who are Irreligious… which is a real thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irreligion

        So you cant tell me that people who are athiest are religious it just makes no sense. And by not going to church im practicing not going to church? thats rediculous. In order to practice something you kind of have to make an effort.. it doesnt take an effort for me not to go to church, i just dont go.

        And lasty, you cant try to define religion, its impossible. No definition could encompass all religions properly, and leave out the people who arent religious.

  2. I know what you’re trying to say, I hate people too. They’re all so full of themselves when they do something right and then they go and preach you on how you’re supposed to be more like them, but when you tell them you did that same thing better they say you’re a fucking arrogant piece of shit, and that happens a lot to me since I skipped 2 grades. But I found the solution to this: hating everyone. I say whatever the fuck I want to whomever the fuck I want and I don’t care about your fucking feelings, and if you’re not a fucking hypocrite and can take my criticism, well then maybe and just maybe you don’t deserve my hate.

  3. Whiney referres to a tone of voice. Had I been reading this, I would be stating the fact as simply facts, therefore I am more of a complainer than a whiner, IE, you are all wrong.

  4. First off: Shoot Em Up was a great film. Just what we needed – someone with balls to do the things that needed to be done.

    Second: How can atheism be a religion of you do not believe in anything. Besides the majority of religion (Judaism especially) is a way to do mass crowd control. Talk about the blind leading the blind. Follow me and you will be safe (except your small children – yummy).

    Third: I decide a long time ago that I HATE EVERYONE – this way at no time in my life can I say I am prejudice or a racist. You all suck so that is that. Hell I even hate myself for that matter – dumb ass.

    Last: I follow the guidelines of “Perfect Trust” in everyone. What I mean is that I trust everyone to be EXACTLY who they are. I trust a thief to be just that, a thief, so I hide my stuff. I trust the snitch to be a snitch, so I do not tell them anything important.

    We are always surrounded by stupid people who have stupid ideas. In fact, we are all stupid at one time (or a hundred times) in our lifetime.

    To quote our parents: “Just shut the fuck up, sit back and enjoy the fucking ride. If you ask me one more time “Are we there yet?”, I will take your ass and put you in the trunk for the remainder of the trip.”

    That was fun, can we do it again Daddy!

  5. Have you ever let someone borrow a pencil or something, and then they give it back to you all chewed up?

    YES. And it was a really cool pencil I got at an economics competition that said Economics Azerbaijan. That’s the last time I’m ever helping anyone.

  6. Well I can’t respond to that comment for some reason, but regardless of whether or not you understand what I’m saying, my point is that everyone should shut up. Why would I get into an argument with you about shutting up…its completely hypocritical. Everyone shutup NOW.

  7. @ Bonita Applebum: I like the name. A Tribe Called Quest is awesome, with undertones of sick-nasty. Likewise, your comment would have been better if you included a video of Arnold Schwarzenegger saying, “Stop Whining” from Kindergarten Cop (I think that was the movie).

    @ oballer: I am not a whiney bitch, I am a heavy complainer. There’s a difference because the act of whining does not bring up valid points and examples to back up said points, as I have done. But for the most part, this post is a huge fucking complaint.

    @ Refuse to Come Wack: I know the car thing was a dick move, I feel really bad about it. I have told Joe this, he didn’t care, but I assume that he actually did. He also got the hat back, although it’s kind of his hat now I guess (I still want to finish it).

    @ Both oballer and Refuse to Come Wack: As far as this religion debate, I liked it, and I don’t care if Atheism is a religion or not. My religion changes by the day.

    @ Dez691: You’re a smart person, and someone who can be looked up to. I respect that.

    @ kluxorious: Comparing me to Watanuki makes me feel as though I should be running into oncoming traffic. Luckily you added LOL to the end of it, and everyone knows that adding LOL to the end of a sentence that includes a comparison to Watanuki means that you actually think the person of comparison should be President. Therefore, I say thank you, and I’ll count on your vote.

    @ glothelegend: You are the fucking man and I’m adding you to my blogroll, even though you have an ISSS because you’re such an edgy guy who breaks tradition, makes his own rules, lives onthe edge, and get’s the girls. Life without you is like life without air: Nonexsistant. In fact, I surmise that when you die, the world will end, because there will be no reason to carry on.

    @ Snark: Don’t go to McDonalds, you might get Kentucky Ave. or one of the other few pieces I need. I don’t want anyone winning but me.

    @ bluedrakon: You are a person I would trust to raise my children, and I respect that. How can we expect our children to learn when no one is allowed to punish them? Crap, I could easily write a 12 page paper on this subject alone.

    @ Baka-Raptor: Helping others only yields dissatisfying results.

    @ Refuse to Come Wack (again): I have disobeyed you, and have spoken, but everyone else pretty much listened. That’s probably because you have an ISSS, and therefore you have power over all blogs.

  8. @ Bill: Buddhism is pussy shit.

    @ kluxorious: I vow to legalize marijuana, erase punishments for name calling. and put into place a series of laws that can be used to de-pussify America.

    While on the subject, when I was in NYC, I went to a comedy club, and one of the comics (Jeff Heffron) pretty much just backed up everything I said in this post. I mean, we give kids awards when they lose, wtf is that?

    • That’s why I won’t go over any bridges made after I leave University, just think about this scenario:

      Person 1 – OMG THE BRIDGE EXPLODED!! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??
      Engineer – Oh my, that’s very sad, however, I did my best in designing that bridge.
      Person 1 – And for that you get a hundred dollars and the right to laugh at the families of the people you killed!!!11!!ONE1!!ONELEVEN!
      Engineer – yaaay

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