Nascar Can DIE

Guess why I’m pissed off this time? If you guessed that it was because I have a really small penis, well then you’re wrong, because I have a great penis. No, no, no. The reason why I’m pissed off is because of this bullshit article I read on, which stated that espn will be carrying a lot more nascar races this year. OHHHHHHH FUCKKKKK. STOP THE PRESSES, I AM ANGRY!

Look at this piece of shit......HE'S A FUCKIGN PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

Look at this piece of shit.......HE'S A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!

First of all, why do people like this joke of a sport? It’s got to be the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard of. One time I tried watching it once, and after 5 minutes of the same bullshit, I ended up going outside and blowing up my car. Thanks a lot, nascar, because of you, I now have to take the bus to work. Do you know how shitty public transportation is? All sorts of shit can happen.

What is the actual point of nascar, other than to waste thousands of gallons of gas per year, thus raising the price of gas for all of us? As stated before, the drivers don’t do anything but drive in a circle. I mean, there’s no real obstacles in front of them, other then other cars.Nascar would be better if they threw some obstacles in the courses, like small, bratty children. This would kill two birds with one stone. On one hand, you would have nascar be slightly more interesting, and on the other hand, if your kids are ever misbehaving, you can threaten them by saying that you’re going to have them appear on nascar, or maybe actually do it. Trust me, they’ll never be bad again (or in some cases, alive). But honestly, it’s not the actual sport that I hate, it’s more of the fact that people like the sport, and more importantly the actual people who like the sport (that was kind of a confusing sentence).

What do I think of when I hear the word, “nascar”……usually, I think of shitty, fucking, rednecks. Who doesn’t. I remeber reading a study that tallied up the average IQ of nascar fans, and that the result placed nascar fans far below the average IQ for the nation. What does that tell you? It tells me that we should start hunting redneck, and eventually kick them all out of the nation. Send them to China or Russia or some shitty country like that. Better yet, send them to Mexico. No one in Mexico has any clue what’s going on anyway.

Rednecks have a way of turning where ever they live into a third world country. Have you seen some of the redneck areas? Here are some pictures (found via Goolge):

To reiterate....ALABAMA SUCKS.

If you want to know more, type in redneck in google, and have fun. Okay, I’m sort of getting off topic here. I was supposed to be talking about nascar, and somehow I started ripping on rednecks. I mean, I don’t really need to rip on them. Everyone knows that rednecks suck, except of course, rednecks, who for some reason think that they’re witty and smart simply because they are rednecks. God damn it I hate rednecks.

Back to nascar. Well……what more can I say? It’s a stupid sport, and I don’t want it taking up air time on espn. I’d rather watch anything else…..even infomercials are more entertaining than nascar. Nascar sucks, and I hate it more than anything else in the world. Even more than hippies and hobos (who I don’t mind as much thanks to Tokyo Godfathers).

What more can I say here? I hate nascar and I hate rednecks.


23 thoughts on “Nascar Can DIE

  1. Being Irish, I have no feelings towards Nascar. Instead I channel my hatred towards golf. Anyone who calls golf a sport deserves to get one of their £300 lumps of iron shoved up their backside while getting driven over by one of their golf buggys.

    • I like golf. I’ll even sometimes watch golf (although not for very long). A lot of people seem to hate it, but once you start playing it and get semi-average at it, it becomes quite fun.

  2. I HATE NASCAR…. HOW CAN YOU WATCH CARS GO IN CIRCLES FOR 500 LAPS… OMG kill me… seriously… kill me…. i dont know how people even think its a sport to tell you the truth

    @scamp: golf is def a sport… you prolly just suck at it so you hate it… but if your good its really fun… although its one of the most impossible things to be good at

  3. I am a fan of Formula 1 so obviously I kinda understand why you are so frustrated. Compared to Formula 1 (or GP2 even), NASCAR looked so fucking retarded. Going around in circle? WTF? And if I am correct (I did work for almost 6 years for a motorsport magazine), Americans are not too fond of any other ‘sane’ motorsport, not even F1. They rather see trucks racing each other or monster truck crushes unused car. I don’t understand American sometimes =\


    That’s how bad it is. On other news, Scott’s tip of the day is awesome.

  5. Well, how about USA to get an alternative to this one? BAM! There are no ovals here in Europe because no one would go and pay to watch some drivers going in circles (or ovals). Furious, snappy, short, technical and full of curves. That’s how its here. The only thing that I find interesting in US motorsport is American Le Mans, but is not at the level of FIA GT.

  6. Nascar is not a sport, no matter how many people want it to be. It’s a stupid race. It’s not even entertainment. It’s about as fun as watching the clock. They’re certainly similar in the repetitiveness.
    Fuck Nascar.

    • Actually, watching a clock is probably more fun. For example, when you watch the clock at work, at least when it reaches a certain time, you get the pleasure of being finished with your work.

      When a nascar race ends, you just think about how much of your life you wasted.

  7. Solution, drag racing 5 seconds done and its still a sport… you know what, f_ck cars Why dont we just have robots driving around in circles while beating the crap out of each other and still call it a sport

  8. Ohhhhhhhh boy 😛 I actually went to a minicar thingy or whatever those smaller cars are with the Fast N Furious wings from hell. It’s boring as fuck…loud….hot…and really fucking loud….

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