Umineko no Naku Koro ni: Guess What? It Kicked Ass

Okay, I wasn’t going to write a post on this, since this series ended a while ago, but dear God, when I get my teeth knocked in, I really can’t stay silent.

Umineko no Naku Koro ni

I’m not going to bother getting into explaining or reviewing this show in detail. That would take just under 4 years to completely type up. On a quick side note, why is it that I always write the title twice in my reviews? I mean, I have the actual title, which is the main big one at the very top of the page, and then I always write another one, and then put a picture under it? Am I retarded? Probably, but I’m really starting to ramble, so back to this awesomeness that I just watched.

Umineko no Naku Koro ni is pretty much about a family. This family is loaded, because the grandfather is loaded. This family goes to see said old dude on an island, and eventually gets stuck there with no communication to the outside world, due to a typhoon. People start dying in very bloody ways (boo-yah!). A witch appears. Gold is  involved somehow.

That was a very vague overview. If you’re fine with that, then skip through this post until I tell you that there are no more spoilers (I’ll make it obvious. If you want more insight, keep reading this post, which will have SPOILERS.

So basically, everything is the doing of this witch, Beatrice, who needs to sacrifice x amount of people in order to be revived. So she goes about sacrificing these people, and somehow, in the end, Battler (one of the family members) decides that she isn’t a witch. Thus begins a game, and the whole series of events (everybody dying) will keep repeating itself in different ways, until Battler accepts Beatrice to be a witch. Beatrice will kill the people in different situations, and Battler tries to explain them all with logic. It’s fucking awesome, but here are a few things that pissed me off (very slightly, and they are in order starting with the most offensive):

  • The more bloody scenes (exposed stomachs, holes in bodies, etc) were FUCKING CENSORED. WHAT THE FUCK!? I NEED THE BLOOD IT KEEPS ME SANE! (I don’t sound too crazy saying that do I?)
  • Battler effectively quit about 3 times, and then “regained his will to fight”. I thought it was, “once you quit, you’ve quit”………This isn’t Mario, Battler….you can’t just come back after you die. And you don’t have flower power either…..asshole.
  • THE BLOOD WAS FUCKING CENS- Oh wait I already covered this.
  • I have to WAIT for another season for all of the riddles to be solved…….SON OF A CUNT!
  • I have no more fingernails, because I bit them all off. That’s not good for your enamel.

Okay, so it's not like it's the studio's fault for the censorship. It's just like in America, some things have to be censored.....therefore, I blame Japan for being pussies.

Those are the only 3.14 things that pissed me off. Here are some things that I liked about it:

  • It did have blood….and very cruel deaths. AWESOME!
  • SUSPENSE. I couldn’t stop. Honestly marathoned the hole thing (besides the first 5 episodes)  in one sitting. It’s 26 episodes long. Give me a medal.
  • The characters were great and awesome. Jessica carries brass knuckles around…..that’s just one example.
  • Beatrice’s tricks and treats! Not to mention her rack! (whistles, cat calls in background, mist comes, slave dies in corner)
  • Awesome ideas of logic.
  • The addition of characters throughout the show was never at any point too great or too little. They added the characters steadily and as needed, and they were all awesome.
  • The great way that everything became revealed, and the huge cliffhanger at the end (I hate it now but I guarantee I’ll love it when a new season comes out, which it will, or else I’ll pull an Umineko on Japan (without the magic, witches, typhoon…..well let’s be honest, I’m not going to do shit but whine for a day or two… myself).
  • Dude, ummm psychoticness?
  • Last but not least, several examples of, The BAM.


By this point, if you can’t tell, I really fucking liked this show. It was fucking awesome and everything I knew it could be. Personally, I’m glad I waited before I WATCHED nearly the ENTIRE SERIES IN ONE SITTING, because it just made it all that much better. Was it as good as Higurashi? Personally, I think it’s unfair to compare the two. As B-R said, nothing really stands up to Higurashi (people actually went crazy in that one and killed each other, this one was just a witch killing everyone). But still, I give it a


Bill was a sacrifice by the first twilight.

SUGGESTION: Wait for the DVD release so that you can watch it uncensored… might already be out, although I don’t think it is….but it might be (google it or something).

If you’ve been following my twitter, I’ll let you know that this is not the post that I was talking about when I said that I wrote a post that I felt proud of. Chances are, you will all hate it, but never the less, I will put it up tomorrow probably.