Guess What? I Finally Finished Umi Monogatari, and What I Thought Was….

Thank God this bullshhh (new favorite word) is over and done with. By episode 6 I had had enough of it. By episode 8 I was struggling. Episode 10 just pissed me off.

Umi Monogatari

Holy pufferfish! This anime was more up and down than waves as depicted by a kindergarten student using Paint:

Why is that exactly? Well let me tell you all a tale. A tale of tales that has been told since the telling of tales was first told during a telling in the form of a told tale that was tol-

We get it. Move on.

Err…right. so I don’t actually have a tale to tell, I just wanted to use the words tell, telling, tale, and told a bunch of times.

You should be banned from the internet. Idiots like you shouldn’t be able to have blogs.

It’s not a blog, it’s an ISSS.

You’re fucking retarded aren’t you?

I’ll ignore that for now, but I’m still going to continue talking. I’m going to tell you a story based off of Hobokon New Jersey. There’s going to be porn involved. Oh, whoops, I completely ripped off a parody.

You still haven’t said a thing about Umi Monogatari.

Yeah, I’m pretty much just having a retarded conversation with myself, which I not so cleverly disguised with the name Voice of Reason. So on to Umi Monogatari.

Umi Monogatari

For real this time

Obviously, the name is perfect for this anime, because it includes the 4 letter word, “mono”. Have you ever had Mono? It’s pretty shitty, and you’re always fucking tired, lethargic, slow…….all words that can describe this anime, which is very slow paced. The thing is, it started off pretty interesting, and I think it was due to these facts:

  • They had in-show fanservice. In otherwords, other characters noticed the fanservice (which, these days, can’t really be called fanservice at all, in fact, no one else probably even noticed it).
  • It had comedy.

Then the comedy and fanservice left (they kind of went hand in hand with each other), and we achieved what every bad anime achieves: Repetitive Bullshit.

Yes, Repetitive Bullshit, the cornerstone of suckage. I will now dutifully reveal the RB in UM.

  1. Everyone: Oh no! We have to save Piss! I mean Urin! We have to save Urin! (snicker)
  2. Karin: I’m depressed about my boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend. Or boyfriend. Oh, now I’m fine. Oh now I’m depressed.
  3. Turtle: You girls need to use the light.
  4. *Marin: Cries

Repeat in no specific order. If I could watch this again, I would stop where Urin get’s captured, and skip to the last episode, because everything else is just retarded. In fact, the end turns out to be a stupid piece of shit as well, and I’m going to tell you right now what it was. Sedna (the main bad person) was “the accumulation of darkness in everybody’s hearts”……..what the fuck is that bullshit? That’s the laziest way to end a show. Basically, there was no antagonist. Basically, the antagonist was a naturally occurring phenomenon. That’s incredibly cliche and stupid. What a piece of shit. “People threw away their darkness” please. Bullshit. That’s what it was. And then the even more ending was even more bullshit.. And I will tell you that ending now as well. Urin manages to now disappear because of bullshit. Marin hugs her and the darkness and the light “understand each other”. This was so stupid I feel like shitting on something important… a statue.

At the very end of the episode, I started enjoying it a bit more, because they brought the comedy back. (I’m talking about like….the last 30 seconds). This anime was good in terms of the following:

Art – Superbly done

Story – lol yea right the story sucked…I mean it started out pretty good, then it got dumb.

Comedy/Fanservice – They were doing this awesomely at first, then they stopped.

*I put an asterisk next to crying. There is a lot of fucking crying, almost as much as Aoi Hana. Now, in my review for Aoi Hana (I think, it might have been something else) I stated that whenever girls use “crying attack” against me, it’s super effective, ie, I’m a sucker for girls crying (I stole this pretty much word for word from blur….I see you blur). Anyway, in Aoi Hana, the crying girls appealed to my nature. In Umi Monogatari, I wanted to punch every single girl in the ovary and throw them off a cliff into a pit of lava. The crying was more annoying that Maria’s howl from Umineko no Naku Koro ni. God damn fucking crying girls.

I actually enjoyed the first 5 or so episodes. I liked them a good deal, but after that, this anime shit the bed, HARD. And the good things about Umi Monogatari aren’t good enough to make me give this anime any higher than a


Bill filled Umi Monogatari with so much darkness that it killed itself.


19 thoughts on “Guess What? I Finally Finished Umi Monogatari, and What I Thought Was….

  1. I was thinking of watching this show. Maybe I will since it’s been a long time since I last watched a crappy anime. Watching crappy anime is essential to enjoying good anime.

  2. Yeah, the show was a bit boring and the story was too “generic transforming girl”. the latter parts of this show reminded me of the 2nd season of Sailor Moon where that pink haired little girl turned evil.

    • Ahh Sailor Moon. “fighhhting evil byy moonlight. Winning looovvee by daylight”

      My sister loved that show. I never really followed it too closely, but I watched it all the same.

  3. “In Umi Monogatari, I wanted to punch every single girl in the ovary and throw them off a cliff into a pit of lava.” Lol!

    I was wondering why I had a sudden spike of traffic. Now I know… Lol!

  4. Agreed. Umi Monogatari was great at first, but after 4 or 5 episodes the anime went downhill. From then on is just the ethics of light and dark and every crying at least once every episode…

    At least the OP and ED was superb and Kanon flashing her swim suit 😀

  5. ‘The crying was more annoying that Maria’s howl from Umineko no Naku Koro ni’
    Sounds terrifying. This anime is now moved to ‘postponed indefinitely’ shelve 🙂

  6. Pingback: CRY BITCH CRY! « Eye Sedso

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