Air Master: First Impressions

One could say that it KICKS ass! (pun get it? get it? it’s a pun. I just made a joke and it was a pun. get it?)

First of all, the main character

That’s a HUUUUUUGE bitch! Holy shit! I’ve never come across a woman this large in size, size, and size! But that’s one of the things that seems good so far about this anime. I mean, if you’re going to have a female be a nasty street fighter, you can’t make her some loli girl, it’s just not realistic. But Maki is a girl who, based on sheer size and muscular fortitude alone, could probably mash any strong male like potatoes (get it? mashed? potatoes? mashed potatoes? the potatoes are mashed? they’re mashed potatoes, and I-I compared the men, to the potatoes…to…to the mashed potatokay I’ll stop doing this).

In fact, in this post, I’m not going to talk about the awesome OP and the awesome ED, or the other shit like that. I’m only going to talk about the size of this gargantuan Amazon Warrior-looking she-beast. For Halloween she paints herself green and goes as the Hulks bigger, older sister. Can you find a man anywhere with the penis thick enough to satisfy this woman’s assumably massive hatchet battle ax wound? I mean, forget length, her vaginal cavity could probably give Snow White and all of her seven dwarfs a great place to hide out from all sorts of witches and apples, and they could all have separate rooms too. I bet she has cable hooked up in that giant vagina of hers. She probably rents it out to people during holidays. Her family probably saves money by living out of her uterus instead of spending money on a house.

Most girls will go interracial if they want to fuck a bigger dong (like a black person). But Maki needs to go interspecies. Maki needs a penis the size of a great whale if she want to feel satisfaction. Not a great whale’s penis, I’m talking about an entire great whale. Maki’s vagina once held down a job as a holding tank for Shamoo the Whale. The pleasure that she got from it caused her to climax, and resulted in one of the largest tsunami’s ever recorded.

Penises come in all sorts of sizes.  Of the biggest are those that are like, a foot long or some ridiculous shit (I’m kind of just guessing here). But is that enough? Fuck no. Not for Maki’s giant pussy. The world’s biggest feline is not a lion, it’s Maki’s pussy (that one sucked).  Now I’m not going to tell you that my penis is around 6.5-7 inches when erect, because I don’t share that kind of information. But I will say that no matter how big a cock gets, it probably would never satisfy Maki’s vagina, which has been known to house the Goodyear blimp.

This girl is fucking huge. She’s like the Shaq of Japanese women. Is she even Japanese? I doubt it. If I were to guess ethnicity, I’d say 25% Nordic, 25% German, 5% Japanese, 5% Hungarian, and 40% Huge Bitch. I’m guessing that the only thing that can’t fit in her vagina are Mina’s obnoxiously huge tits:

Let's be honest, we've all seen bigger (think Queen's Blade)

Compared to Maki’s vagina, these tits aren’t anything special. I mean, that kind of surgery can be done over night (Ace Ventura, 1994). But a vagina as big a Maki’s? A bigger one does not exist. And yes, if you’re wondering, I will be referencing Curb Your Enthusiasm in a bit. But first more talk about Maki.

Besides the fact that her vagina serves as a bomb shelter able to house 200 people in case of a nuclear attack, the utter size of her body is something that can only be described as behemoth, and that short, red hair doesn’t help her look anymore sexy. If a guy actually falls in love with her during  this show, he better be fucking huge or I’ll shit my pants. Actually, it would probably make sense to have a really short guy fall in love with her….I mean, then sex would be interesting. How would he go about getting her pregnant? I’ll tell you how.

Getting Maki Pregnant

The animation in Air Master? Not the greatest. The proportions actually suck. It's (the animation) not bad though other than that.

Step 1: Buy a Map

Maki’s vagina is a vast labyrinth, and it’s incredibly easy to get lost. Also, it would be best to make this map waterproof. You’ll know why once you’re in there.

Step 2: Wear a Rubber

suit. Wear a rubber suit. It’s a vagina, and during moment of arousal, vaginas get wet. It’s a fact that Maki’s vagina can hold up to 700 gallons of vaginal secretion, and you don’t want to drown. You should probably bring a few oxygen tanks and some flashlights too.

Step 3: Bring Some Porn

You’re already inside the vagina. What are you going to fuck? You’re going to have to jerk off, and so porn or vivid imagination will be needed, unless you can somehow jerk off to the insides of a vagina you sick fuck.

Step 4: Semen. Lots of it.

God knows how big the egg that you’re gonna have to fertilize is going to be. It might eat you if you get too close, so save up a few gallons of frozen sperm over the course of….well….your life, and get ready to use it.

That’s about it. Hopefully, you’ve gotten Maki pregnant, and you never have to do this arduous task ever again. Personally, I would just adopt. Here’s a relevant video, then more Maki facts:

Here’s a story about large vaginas. A friend of mine in high school (and this is an actual true story) was getting freaky with this girl. She was a pretty short girl, but when he went to finger her he FELL IN TO HER VAGINA AND DIED! It’s a pretty rough story, but we’ve all gotten over it now. So back to facts about Maki’s vagina.

  • Maki’s vagina has it’s own mailing address and post office.
  • Maki’s vagina has handicap parking.
  • Over 47% of Maki’s vagina remains unexplored.
  • Maki’s vagina is home to the world’s largest dam.
  • If you took every penis on the planet and lined them up then you could wrap the Earth twice. Likewise, Maki could fit Earth inside of her vagina twice.
  • Maki’s vagina can sing.
  • When vacationing out of country, Maki’s vagina needs a separate passport, but on the plus side, it can be used to store all luggage, so there are no bag fees!
  • Like the Himilayas, Maki’s vagina increases by 2 inches each year. Unlike the Himilayas, Maki’s vagina must eat three square meals a day.
  • A queef from Maki’s vagina was the cause of Hurrican Katrina.
  • Maki’s vagina starred as the Sarlacc Pit in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

Okay I’m done. And I didn’t even talk about her giant tits.

Advertisements

20 thoughts on “Air Master: First Impressions

  1. lmao, this ended up being an entry about Maki’s vagina? What a memorable first impression, I must say, which made me afraid to even see this show. Who knows if I might get sucked into her vagina *shudders*

    • I had an opportunity to use a long standing inside joke from a trip to wildwood, and I did.

      When in Wildwood (New Jersey, you live in Malaysia so you most likely have no clue what I’m talking about (it’s like a beach)), my family and another family were sharing a house, and we were on the boardwalk. We saw this attendant selling shirt and she had like a Russian accent. She looked like she used to be a huge slut (hell, I’d still have fucked her), and so we just made fun of how big her “cooter” was the entire time (for like days), and every time we would talk in a Russian accent. For example, we’d say something like:

      “My brudda leeve een cooter, my family leeve in cooter [translation: My brother lives in cooter, my family lives in cooter]”

      We would talk for hours on end just listing stuff, of course, almost everything in this post was new and created by me.

      Also, it’s easy to get sucked into Maki’s vagina, because Maki’s vagina has it’s own tractor beam, and vines just like the Sarlacc Pit, which is the role it played in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

      • yeah I know what you mean, we have the same kind of conversation everyday here. It pissed people off. That’s the more reason why we do it ^_^

  2. i didnt even read this post yet… and im going to say FUCK YOU…. i LITERALLY JUST WATCHED EPISODE ONE AND WAS GOING TO WRITE A FIRST IMPRESSIONS POST

    your a dick… now i will read this post about the butch lesbian who can fly

  3. ok this post is hilarious and probably true…. its probably massive… however… there is probably not a brave enough soul to have ventured to it…. oh and image someone trying to eat her out??? she would crack their skull with those tree trunks she calls legs… unfuckingbelievable…. what a whore

    that being said… (curb reference) she is nasty at fighting

    • this post was fun to write…

      In order to eat out Maki’s vagina, one must literally take Maki’s vagina out to eat. After Maki’s vagina has it’s typical meal of 7 dead babies, one must give head to Maki’s clit, which is seven times the size of an average penis.

    • Lord knows I’m no friend to feminists. In fact, I think that they should all suck my dick. Everyone knows that feminists are actually among the horniest, cock hungry people out there, but they’re too fucking stubborn to let themselves have sex, so they blame men for everything because they’re fucking bitter. I will headbutt a feminists in the ovaries REPEATEDLY.

  4. Pingback: Recent Happenings « Oballer's Blog

  5. So tell me honestly what did you think of Maki’s vagina. No really.

    Actually what I’m really curious about is…can you stand Renge aka Chiyo-chan?

  6. “Snow White and all of her seven dwarfs in Maki’s Vagina”

    Wtf?! Words which can’t be unread!
    My Mind… .>AARRrrGgghhh!!

    *BBBBBOOOooOOOOOOOOoooooooooOMMMMMMMMM*

    Seriously though, May your fren rest in peace in Vagina Heaven.

  7. Meh, the animation is just too dated for me. I can’t stand watching something with older animation for about half the time 😛

  8. Pingback: rose_darkangel Can Suck It « Eye Sedso

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s