Gym Kicked Ass

Note of the Author: This long post is pretty long, and certainly isn’t short. Neither is it a medium length, but it is instead rather long. Be not concerned with calling this post neither short nor medium in length, accepting only that this post is indeed long. Extravagantly small is right out.

Okay seriously though, this post is kind of long, and broken into two sections. Accepting that the sections in the post are not one, nor three, but t-

Err-hem

Right. So. The first section deals with my personal, awesome, super, and at some points humorous gym experiences. (2nd through 4th period are the funniest ones). The second section goes on to talk about Gym in anime, and what I think about it. So if you don’t care about gym (wtf?) and just want the anime section then just  scroll down. Or just don’t read this post, and keep being a bitch. If you somehow manage to read this whole post, you win something. What do you win? I have no clue. Probably nothing.

Remember the subject in High School that no one really seemed to like (at least that’s how it was at my school). Maybe you’re still in high school, and maybe, even as you read this, you’re in your library right now, not doing that History report that’s due soon. Thanks for choosing Eye Sedso over work. Anyway, the subject I’m talking about is, of course, GYM (aka P.E., which is the way douchebags says it).

Ahh...a sight for sore eyes.....rather, my eyes are sore from looking at this....not the greatest of views...

Gym. We all know it as the class where the fat lesbian gym teacher would make us play some kind of sport like badminton or softball or something. It’s a given, everyone has at least one gym teacher who is a lesbian, or at least lesbian-looking. And I’m not talking about the hot kind of lesbian. Those kinds of lesbians, by law, are not allowed to become Gym teachers. I’m talking about the butch lesbians, which the really short hair. The ones that try and talk in the deepest voice possible, and don’t shave any of their body hair. Sometimes, these lesbians walk around with a sausage stuffed down their pants, just to see what it’s like. I was lucky enough to have three lesbians like this. The first was in elementary school, and I didn’t understand what she was exactly, because she was so guy-like, yet called miss. I became traumatized from the incident, and now I love lesbians, especially in anime.

But I digress. In my days, nobody seemed to like gym. They would complain and figure out ways to not have to do anything. Most of these people were girls. Specifically, BLONDE GIRLS (God I hate blondes). Now I am very competitive by nature. Even in the Aniblog competition, anything less than the Championship Tophy that Snark is purchasing with his own money and sending to the winner will piss me off. If I’m out the first round, I might even delete my ISSS. That’s how com–…..wait….what’s that? He’s not buying a trophy? Really? It’s a tournament, you’ve got to have a trop-

I digress again. It’s pretty obvious, that due to my competitive nature, I not only looked forward to Gym, but I also DOMINATED in Gym (because no one really tries, so it’s not hard). In fact, because of my competitaveness, I got into trouble a few times/created a few funny situations, which I will get to in a bit.

1st Period: Handball

Handball: The sport where even girls look bad-ass when they play.

In gym, a subject that only lasted half a year in my high school (the other half was Health [bleecchh]), there were a few sports that select students waited the whole year to play. The most anticipated of these sports, and all PE events-  nay, all High School Events, was the completely ass-kickingly awesome sport of Handball.

Handball, for those who don’t know, is a game where the object is to throw the ball…..in the goal. DUH. Here’s awesome video(s):

Handball is something that everyone should play. Now, lucky, my Gym teacher was, at least at the time, awesome, and so we were able to play with actual handballs, aka, they bounced, they had a leathery feel to them, they were easy to throw. They also only lasted a half of a year before most of them were broken or stolen, and then we had to switch to shitty gator balls. Now, we were all broken up into teams, and I’m pretty sure everyone took it completely seriously (in our Gym set up, you could choose one of four sports to play, and you would play that sport for the next month or so. It was a good deal). We loved handball so much that we even tried to start a handball club. How awesome would that have been? I”LL TELL YOU! VERY AWESOME!!!

For those of you who don’t get the rules, you dribble the ball, and you have to shoot from behind that semi-circular line. Of course, you can jump over it and score, as long as you’re feet aren’t touching the ground, hence we preformed all sorts of aerial maneuvers in games. It’s kind of like a mix between basketball, hockey, and Air Master.

Anyway, Handball kind of sucked the next year, because no one except me was as serious about it, and the balls were shitty, but the first year we played, Handball kicked ass. God damn I want to play some Handball right now.

2nd Period: Softball

The Red Sox should probably actually consider signing Chewbacca, considering the shittyness of their bullpen right now.

I love softball. It kicks ass. One thing about softball in gym, is you couldn’t strike out. Of course, this rule was abolished when I had an at bat lasting about 10 minutes, in which I recorded about 32 swinging strikes. Then I batted lefty and got a hit. I should also mention that there were about 30 people in the outfield, and the whole thing was shitty. This was before they decided to separate gym into 4 different sports which helped to lower overcrowding of a specific sport. Anyway, this at bat was a fluke, which is why I’m sharing it with you. I hit bombs son….BOMBS SON BOMBS!!!!

Anyway, here’s a funny story: I had the habit of hitting a ball, tossing my bat, and sprinting as fast as I could to first. Little did I know, I wasn’t really tossing the bat, but instead, I was throwing launching it at the teacher. Whoops, my bad. After doing this about 4 times in a row, and getting yelled at by pretty much everyone, I was forced to sit down. The teacher in charge at this time was one, Mrs. Leahy, a short, fat teacher with a bowl cut. She was awesome when she created handball, but perhaps it was this incident that made her start to be a HUGE BITCH (technically, that’s a pun, and you’ll see what I mean later on).

3rd Period: Bloody Nose Girl

Volleyball was fun. I remember freshman year, I was serving in one game. Now, one thing you should know is, when I serve, I don’t have any control over where the ball is going to end up. It might be a nasty ace. It might go directly to my left. It might even go behind me. But one thing I can do, is hit the ball really really really really hard, because I just curl my hand up into a fist and smash the crap out of it (I have since changed the way I serve. My intramural team for college this year won the championship, and it was all because of me, and when I say all because of me, I mean not all because of me).

Unfortunately for this small, frail girl, she was standing in front of me when I was serving, and for some reason, was turned toward me so as to watch me serve. Let me just say, that’s not what you’re supposed to do. Our teacher even said, “Don’t face someone when their serving”. Guess what? LINE DRIVE TO THE FUCKING FACE!

Let it be known that this is the proudest moment that I’ve ever had in gym. And let it be known that I did the EXACT SAME THING TO THE EXACT SAME GIRL THE VERY NEXT CLASS!!!!!!! She never talked to me again, which is fine because she wasn’t sucking my dick at any point.

4th Period: Floor Hockey

Let it be known that I take my Gym seriously. How seriously? Well I was playing floor hockey, and the ball was kind of stuck in the corner, I was trying to dig it out against some kid on the other team, and wouldn’t you know it, my teacher blows the whistle. At first, I assumed that she simply mistook the whistle for a dick, because there was no reason for the whistle to have been blown. Then I realized that this was silly, because huge lesbians with bowl cuts don’t suck dicks. Next thing I know, she tells me to sit down because I was being “too out of control”. WRONG MOVE LADY. YOU DON’T DO THAT TO EL GUAPO. (3:17)

I threw the stick down and immediately tried to fight her. Well okay, I threw the stick down and my arms up, and said, “For what!?” in a rather loud tone (as you can tell from the punctuation marks that I used). I didn’t actually try and fight her. After she sent me to the principal’s office, I realized that I was making a huge deal out of a call in Gym class, and she was a fat whore with a fucking bowl haircut. The principal forced me to write a letter of apology, which I wrote in the most unsympathetic way possible with out actually seeming unsympathetic. IE: I wrote a page of bullshit.

Here, look at how she’s rated (I wonder if I’ll get in any leagal trouble for this): LINK

WHORE BITCH! WHY DID I GIVE HER 4 STARS FOR EVERYTHING!? GRRAAR! Go and rate her, and give her all zeros. Under the comment section, type: Because Eye Sedso! Will anyone actually do this? If you want to live, than yes.

A few months ago, I parked next to an SUV in a parking lot, and it was apparently her car, she complained to me that I parked too close, but not in a good way. A normal person would simply say something like: “You’re a little close, can you just move it over a bit?”

I would be happy to oblidge if someone said that. But this bitch is different. She’s fat and has a bowl cut. Her face also reminds me of Oscar the Grouch mixed with a smushed  potato. She simply stood there, and peered into the space between my car and her huge SUV, which is obviously the only thing that can support her massive weight. I looked at her and she made no attempt to communicate with me, so I shut my car off, OPENED MY DOOR WITH PLENTY OF ROOM, and got out of the car. She then kept peering in at my car. I wondered if she recognized me. I was going to say hello when she said:

“Little close there?”

I responded with: “Yea, haha.” and then I left. IF YOU WANT ME TO MOVE MY CAR THEN JUST TELL ME. DON’T FUCKING INSINUATE.

5th Period: I Played Hurt

Leave it all on the gym floor baby. Considering that I’m always hurt in some way though, this really is just a filler to try and get 8 periods (because school had 8 periods…or 7….I can’t actually remember to be honest).

6th Period: It’s AUTOMATIC

Who says all awesome gym things have to occur in high school? It was Middle school when me and fellow anime enthusiast, Oballer were playing kickball (probably dominating), and decided that no matter what happened, everything we did was automatic. Any ball kicked to any of us was an automatic out. Any time we were up? Automatic homer. IT’S AUTOMATIC SON! Pretty much the greatest boast ever created (it lasted from middle school till forever), and we said it literally after every play……

yea……

I guess you had to be there.

7th Period: Badmitton

KICKED ASS. Me and Zak Mayo. UNBEATABLE. SMASH FROM BACK COURT SON NO PROBLEM SON!

Seriously, I would force feed opponents volleys, and after the games, girls were all over my shuttlecock.

8th Period: WE DON’T MISS NO SHOTS!!!!!

Well, here we go again. Coin another phrase for the duo of Glothelegend and Oballer. This time it was us two, and two girls on a basketball team. One of the girls (Molly) stood around (I could’ve banged her I bet, she actually used to talk to me a lot, and flirt with me, but I didn’t understand what it meant). The other girl (Kelsey), was actually decent. Or at least she was good for a girl (Lord knows that girls-).

Anyway, after absolutely DESTROYING EVERYONE (in gym, we only had tournaments….yea, it was awesome), we decided that WE DON’T MISS NO SHOTS! SON! Werd.

So then we played the football players in the finals, 4, athletic, well-oiled machines, vs, me (who was skinny as fuck), a girl who did nothing, a girl who was okay, and oballer, who was on the basketball team and took most of our shots and got all the boards.

Did we win? FUCK YES WE DID! BBYYYYYYYYAAAAWWWWW!!!

Gym in Anime

Because we all remember this shit happening in gym, right?

Perhaps you decided to skip all of my shitty INCREDIBLY AWESOME gym stories and came down to this section, because you are interested in anime gym classes more than real life ones. Perhaps you simply thought that I was going to talk about bloomers, being that they’re in almost every anime that features gym class, and you happen to have a huge bloomers fetish. Well if you thought I was going to talk about bloomers, you were DEAD WRONG.

Bloomers

When I said that you were dead wrong, I meant that you were dead right. It seems to me that whenever you have a gym episode of any anime, it centers around two main topics: bloomers and swimsuits. Frankly, I never got to swim in gym, and needless to say, I was kind of mad. A nice pool session halfway through a day of sitting in a hot classroom sounds pretty good to me. But I’ll talk about that later. First things first. Bloomers.

I have never actually seen a real life girl in bloomers, and frankly, as a person who has never set foot in Japan, I doubt their scholarly existance. When I googled “bloomers”, all I got were these pants, which I’m pretty sure are made strictly for hookers on pirate ships:

Tell me with a straight face that this isn't a pirate hooker. You can't do it, mainly because you're probably never going to actually meet me in real life....I mean, I guess you could find a picture of me and talk to that, but that's just fuckin weird.

Pirate hookers aside, the only way I could find gym bloomers was to type in “anime bloomers.” Well, actually, that’s the only other thing I tried, but I bet it’s the only thing that would work. So regarding these mythical garments (the gym bloomers)… Does anyone wear them? I mean besides the people who have a fetish for them, and have their wives and girlfriends dress up like middle school gym clothes. Does anyone actually wear them for gym classes? I simply had to research this.

After actually searching, the only picture I could find was this one:

However, this girl is certainly not in gym class, and bloomers certainly don’t look good in her, which puts two thoughts in my mind:

  1. Girls don’t wear bloomers IRL.
  2. Girls probably shouldn’t wear bloomers IRL, because not all girls are good looking (see above photo…how old is that girl btw? Not old enough, or at least too age ambiguous.) Can you picture a fat girl in bloomers? How about an anorexically skinny girl? Eye Sedno.

Still, I didn’t want to leave my research half-assed, so I looked a bit longer. Finally I found a picture of Japanese girls in gym class, and no bloomers (picture not shown for legality purposes….actually I’m just too lazy). So what’s the deal? Did bloomers die or something? I think I recall them talking about bloomers in Ranma 1/2 or Azumanga Daioh….saying something like: “does anyone even wear bloomers anymore?” Don’t quote me on that though. Well, bloomers are still alive in anime, and probably will be forever. And I think that’s fine with most people.

Swimsuits

Oh you wanted a more fanservicy picture? Too fucking bad.

This is pretty much going to be me talking about how stupid it is that our school never had swimming as a gym activity. The Japanese apparently have it swim every chance they get in class, at least according to anime, which, as we all know, is exactly like real life Japan in EVERY WAY.

So as I was searching for “Japanese Gym Swimsuits,” just because I had never seen an actual person in one, and I accidentally got horny and jerked off. Not really, but I did see a lot of hot girls in swimwear. None of them, however, were Japanese, and none of them, I noticed, had anything to do with any school. Didn’t I type both words in the search bar? What the hell, Google?

It was at this point that I realized the search filter was on, which is a silly thing to do. I clicked it off.

Well, I finally found plenty of picture of girls in bloomers and swimsuits now. Only thing was, they were all porn sites. I got horny and jerked off 6 more times (actually I didn’t jerk off at all, which is surprising?). Whatever, it became clear that I wasn’t going to find an actual girl in a school swimsuit, but that’s fine, she’d probably be underage anyway, which is a waste really.

So what gives? Why no swimming at my school? I don’t want to hear any BS like, “Oh we don’t have a pool” or “There’s not enough time to get changed.” That’s bullshit. I mean, no, we don’t have a pool, but there’s one right down the street. And yea, there probably wouldn’t be enough time….our school should buy a pool. Plenty of other schools had pools. Our school was probably bigger than all of those other schools, but did we have a pool? NOOOO. We have to put all of out money into FUCKING VO-AG and our FUCKING FOOTBALL TEAM (which always seems to lose the state championship). Just because most of our VO-AG (agricutlture) does our football fields and shit means that we have to give them new buildings and stuff? I call BS.

Whatever. I hate both anime episodes related to bloomers and swimming. They’re never funny, they’re usually fanservice of some kind, and the only pool episode/gym episode I enjoyed was from Azumanga Daioh, because nothing is bad about that show. So what am I saying from this post?

Real Life Gym is awesome, but Anime Gym SUCKS.

Further Reading

Gym Class Heroes piss me off. Ever try finding pictures of any type of gym class activities on google? FORGET IT.

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54 thoughts on “Gym Kicked Ass

  1. That long wall of text was just for gym? My god. If it weren’t for those last four pics, I might not have gotten through this post. MY GOD. ಠ.ಠ

  2. Gym class… brings back the memories. I didn’t like gym class, mostly because I’m not very fit, and every two weeks or so we had a “run day” where we had to run two laps around the school or on the streets.

    Badminton is probably the only sport that I’m decent at. Haven’t played for at least a year though. I’m a pretty inconsistent player. When I’m “on” then I get lots of kills with my smashes, but that only happens rarely.

    • Back when I actually played soccer, we had to do the same thing (laps around the school or on the street). We called them Apples (God knows why). We usually had to do about 4 of them per day. The coach would just be like….”run an apple”. This usually constituted as a break from practice.

      Bad-ass-minton was a sick ass sport.

    • We had archery too, although I didn’t do it, because I liked softball more, and they were offered at the same time, so you had to do one or the other.

      Still, I have shot a bow, and it takes me a few tries to get used to it, but I can rocket the shit out of those arrows.

  3. Pretty much the most awesome post I have ever read. Handball was FUCKING EPIC, no lie. (Okay, so I was always picked last in elementary school, but still, it was awesome.) I remember one time I scored a goal. Pretty much the happiest moment of my life, even to this day.

    I’m appalled that you didn’t mention dodgeball. I’m a high schooler, and dodgeball is pretty much the biggest sport event in school. We actually had a dodgeball tournament: 36 teams, with high schoolers and faculty/staff. I’ve never seen the gym so animated in my life, and I lost my voice the next day. It was the modern-day Sparta.

    And you’re so right: gym in anime is pretty much the lamest thing I’ve yet to see. They like run around a track or something. What the hell?! Whatever happened to handball, basketball, DODGEBALL…how could these Japanese be missing out?!

    • We actually did have a dodgeball Tournament, and it kicked SERIOUS ASS. We had the whole school there, everyone was going crazy, it was AWESOME. I LOVED IT. When you went out on the the courts….thing of beauty. W

      Our team name was the littly hootpies, and we wore wife-beaters and headbands, despite being skinny shits. There was also an Asian team, a steroids team, a ducks team….all teams had to have costumes….it was SICK AS FUCK. I still have convinced myself that we won.

      Your school sounds eerily similar to mine.

      Also, while Japan does have gay gym sports like running around a track (according to anime), it also has one thing my schools at least never had:

      Kendo. Fuck I always wanted to do Kendo.

      • “little hootpies”

        HHAHAHHAhAhAHA I don’t know why that’s so funny but it is

      • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WOW. I even looked at that for an hour after I typed it, and thought there was something odd about it.

        I meant to say, “Little Hoopties”

      • Yeah, it was better than being a football player Friday Night Lights. You were literally the most awesome person. I remember saving our team by catching a ball. We lost, but it was freaking legit as hell.

        Wow, your school really does sound like mine. We were required to have “uniforms,” which usually meant the weirdest thing you could come up with. One group came up with Santa hats and pennies (like the jersey ones). Another one was all latino, so they wore clothing/flags representing their Central/South American countries. My favorite one, though, was the team in full bodied suits. They lost, but they looked so badass. I actually wanted my team to be called the “United Nations,” since all of our members were from different countries, but they didn’t like it, so we settled on short-shorts. Typical but a classic.

        Kendo sounds hella sick, but I’d choose dodgeball over that anyday. Kendo, though…smacking someone around with a bamboo stick doesn’t sound awesome, but it looks sick as fuck.

      • Wow, short shorts? Let me describe in full out outfits:

        -Headband
        -smallest size wife beater
        -shortest shorts
        -high socks
        -shoes.

        short shorts are awesome. If we did it all over again, we might wear speedos.

      • High socks and short shorts together is potentially the deadliest combination, besides full-body suits.
        Dunno about the speedo, though. I can’t see it with the high socks nor with the wifebeater. Headband is a definite must, though.
        And liking guys in speedos and short shorts is not homosexual. Not in the least.

      • Oh there’s nothing homosexual about it. The only thing it is is great fashion sense and the decision to look and good. I have an intermural hockey game tomorrow (playoffs ROUND TWO!!!). If it wasn’t so fuckin cold out for some ghastly reason (it’s May dude, why is it so fuckin cold!?), then I might break out the short shorts. Needless to say, the long socks always get broken out in softball.

      • I’m presuming that you mean “street hockey” (dunno the technical term for it) because playing ice hockey in short shorts seems like automatic death. (If you do play ice hockey in short shorts, I salute you as the manliest man I know.) But either way, hockey is really a man’s sport. (Wow, that last sentence was very sexist. I apologize.) It’s not really popular where I live (though the Sharks are the bomb) but it’s still such an awesome sport. So is lacrosse, which is one of the most freaking awesome sports ever, bar none. It might just be the best outside sport (on par with football).

        Softball? I’ve never really been a big fan of neither softball nor baseball. Kickball, though…that’s a totally different story.

  4. I did everything in my power to get out of gym classes for the most part. and it was generally granted. 😀 I don’t overly even like watching sport episodes in slice of life anime because i generally find them pretty boring.

    If we had fun stuff to do in gym maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad but we didn’t get to do anything fun at all.

      • there were sports but honestly playing sports with a bunch of people that don’t like you and you don’t like isn’t very fun. but a lot of the stuff i remember in gym was crappy sports and a lot of running and stretching 😐

        The only sport i ever enjoyed playing was soccer.

      • If you don’t like them, sports can be a good opportunity to hurt them “accidentally”. Like,

        “Oh, sorry Paul, I didn’t mean to hit you in the face when I tossed the bat after getting a hit.”

        “What the fuck dude!? I was playing in the outfield!!”

        “Yea dude, I said I was sorry.”

  5. Floor Hockey was awesome, I was always the goalkeeper and I was good at it that I was always the first to be chosen (because people don’t like being goalkeepers).

    Another important question regarding sports activities in real japanese schools, are there any real “sports day” in japanese schools ? are they only limited to high school (although in Hanamaru Youchien they had a sports day) ? I most know !

    • I have an intramural floor hockey game tonight. In my gym class, floor hockey sucked because the sticks were pretty much pillow-sticks. The end was just a huge foam thing, and you couldn’t do anything with the ball.

      It does seem like gym in anime is always just running…although I think I’ve seen soccer and volleyball as well.

  6. When I was 7, I had an operation on my left knee cap. It took 21 stitches and still visible even now. I love the scar for some weird reason though. Better if I keep that to myself. But anyway, what I was trying to say is, I have always been exempted from gym class even though I actually have no problem at all. So while the others were sweating like pigs, I just do whatever the hell I want.

    • Scars kick ass, I would display it proudly. I’m going to guess that you needed the operation because you were fighting several muggers in a dark ally, and killed them all after one of them stabbed your knee. Then you performed the operation yourself. Wow I always knew you had some bad assery inside of you, but damn.

  7. We had tournaments in middle school and I was on a soccer team that won a school championship. Now, it sure as hell wasn’t because of me (it was we had, like, four giant fucking eighth graders on the team), but it got me out of a few classes, so I wasn’t complaining.

    • Tournaments are among the greatest things ever created. EVER. I love all tournaments. This is one of the reasons why I was so excited over the announcement of the Aniblog Tournament. It’s about time someone decided to make Anime Blogging/ISSSing fucking awesome.

  8. I had swimming for gym once in high school. It sucked. First of all, it was in the middle of winter. Second of all, it was in the middle of swimming season, so my towel was freshly soaked before practice each day (I was too lazy to bring a second towel). Third of all, my gym class was on alternating days with the lab section of whatever honors/AP science class I was taking at the time, so all the girls in the class were ugly science chicks. Fourth of all, the (lesbian) teacher yelled at me for diving off the starting blocks.

    On the bright side, I kicked everyone’s ass at pool basketball.

    • Holy shit. I will kill anyone at pool basketball. Me and my friends go hardcore, meaning no fouls, no rules. Have I gotten a chipped tooth before from playing pool basketball? Fuck yeah I did, and I played through that shit.

      Why anyone would have swimming in the middle of winter is beyond me. Sounds like your school wasn’t the best at planning things.

      • hahahahah when we play pool basketball we play hardcore.

        even when Rachel H. plays with us, everyone STILL beats the shit out of each other hahaha awesomeness.

  9. ITS AUTOMATIC.

    Also, I can remember clearly the day when you got kicked out of floor hockey. ahahaha you did more than just throw your stick down and say “For what?”… you yelled at her for a solid 5 minutes hahahah. classic.

    Also… we STILL don’t miss no shots mother- (Watch your mouth!)… although, the refs fucked over team jabooty, and thats why we lost.

    oh and speaking of floor hockey, we have a game tonight at 9… this one shouldnt get cancelled tho… cuz its not raining

      • And whatsisname stole the fucking puck from me when he’s on my team. That shit pissed me off. I don’t give a fuck if he’s sorry he did that three fucking times. And the goalie always passes to him when he’s covered, and I’m on the other side of him with no one on me. Our team loves to not pass to the open man, and opts to instead pass to people with 3 people on them. We also don’t play quick enough.

        But of all these faults, the biggest is that we don’t put enough pressure on the other team. We let them just sit back and control the ball. Kari needs to start taking steroids.

  10. Guarantee I’m better than you at every gym sport you listed (with the exception of softball). I’ve always been more hardcore than you. Also, for someone who’s soooooo into tournaments, how come you never helped me get the Tournament of Manliness up and running, huh? You suck.

    • I’m going to assume that this whole comment was simply sarcasm, because if it wasn’t, then I’d actually be offended.

      Also, it’s hard to have a tournament with 2 people. Not one person I knew wanted to participate in it, although I only know three people, so it’s not like I could help out anyway.

  11. Uh, yeah. That history report. Dammit, I should’ve have to read about unawesome things on Eye Sedso. Actually, it’s a history ‘play’, but that makes it all the more unawesome.
    Very nostalgic post. You reminded me that I actually had a past in sports, and that I used to be so boss at badminton that I could play with my back facing the opponent at all times (I practiced that so much I spun around unconsciously while trying to play seriously). I’ve totally lost the badminton gene now.

    What was really competitive for me and my friends though was tag. That’s right. Often our game would span the entire district, and we would run away from one guy as if him catching us meant death. We ran in groups and had sentries. We jumped over and off all sorts of places that shouldn’t be jumped off of and sacrificed each other to get away. It was the greatest thing ever.
    Everybody in Hong Kong called gym PE though >.>

    ‘Can you picture a fat girl in bloomers? How about an anorexically skinny girl? Eye Sedno.’
    Anime has actually been so one-sidedly ideal in its depiction of bloomers that that’s never ever occurred to me. Wow.

    • Oh tag. The way you play tag reminds me of the way me and everyone would play MANHUNT, AKA THE BEST GAME EVER.

      Late at night, when the sun has gone down, the neighborhood would become ours. Here’s how you play:

      -two teams
      -one base/jail
      -one team hides, the other counts
      -the team counting, when finished, announces that they are done, and goes looking for the other team
      -the other team has to make it back to base without getting tagged, if tagged, the only way to get out of jail is to be tagged by someone on their team still in the field of play.
      -the game is over and the sides switch when one team has succesfully gotten a certain amount of people back to base, or a certain amount of people have been put in jail.

      Here are some things that I have jumped off of/into:

      -Jumped off my roof
      -Jumped into some thorns (and ran right fucking through them)
      -Jumped off a tree
      -Ran across a fence and jumped off that (talk about balance)
      -Jumped off a different roof

      The best time I played was in a downpour. I was drenched and muddy, and it kicked ass.

  12. Holy fuck, can you imagine the wedgies people would get if they wore bloomers in gym class? That’d be so fucking shitty.

    • I actually used to wear bloomers to gym. They weren’t as bad as you would think. However, it was pretty embarrassing for me, because whenever I play sports I get a huge, 24 inch horse boner, so needless to say I attracted a lot of odd looks.

  13. Hey homo, why don’t you stop writing this retarded shit and do your homework instead of deleting your facebook, leaving me no way to contact you and rendering my great comments on your profile pictures innocuous (this was actually a topic of discussion just now).

  14. Did your gym ever play this game called “Star Wars”?
    Basically everyone gets enclosed in a really small room, smaller than your average class room. 30-50 ppl get split into two sides. 20 or so rubber balls tossed into the middle, and the point is just to throw them at each other to get each other out sort of like dodge ball.
    Some ppl throw really really hard and always aims for the face…
    I’m sure you’d enjoy that and dominate.

    Anyways, I never really understood the appeal of Japanese swimsuits as a fan service.

    • I have never heard of such a game until now. Sounds like a real smash fest. I would be thrilled to play this game. I would destroy everyone. In fact, I would yell: DESTROY before every toss, just like Iceman Hotty from Basquash. People would probably die.

      As for swimsuits….who knows really.

      • I was going to write a post (this was way back when Eye Sedso was first born) about how seeing food in anime makes me hungry. Also, on several occasions, I was going to write a post on how anime characters never look Japanese. Oh well, maybe never.

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