Seitokai Yakuindomo: The Review is Up….(you named you penis The Review!?)

The above title pretty much describes all of the dialogue in Seitokai Yakuindomo. One character says one thing, and a girl will turn it into something relating to cumming of masturbating. This could be the greatest show ever made.

Seitokai Yakuindomo

The first thing, and I mean very first thing, that I noticed about Seitokai Yakuindomo, was the similarity to another student council anime, Kaichou wa Maid Sama! It was similar in pretty much two key ways. First of all, we have the main characters (well, main FEMALE characters at least): The School President, aka kaichou. Both of them look quite similar if you ask me:

Eerily similar if you ask me. In fact, I feel like most female Student Council members look the same. The one from To LOVE-ru looks the same as both of these girls as well, but that’s neither here nor there (well, I guess technically it’s “there”). So we have similar looking Student Council Presidents, who even have the same school uniforms (different colors). yet there’s still one more similarity between these shows, and that is the animation style.

I’m now going to borrow Yumeka’s review of Kaichou wa Maid-sama. In it, she talks about the use of anime iconography, or in clearer terms, the anime more classic anime drawing methods (tear drop, stress mark, chibification of characters randomly). When I think of anime, the first thing I think of is animation like this. I love it, don’t ask me why. Included in this is sound effects. The seiyuu make all of the sound effects, which I also love. What do I like most? When a characters is staring at another, and saying “chiiiiiii——“. Pure anime gold. Anyway, both of these shows have almost identical animation stylings.

However, unlike Kaichou wa Maid-sama, Seitokai Yakuindomo is actually:

  • Funny
  • Fun to watch
  • Not stupid
  • Has a better plot (which is actually literally no plot. It’s based on a 4-koma I think)
  • Filled with perverted jokes to no end.
  • Not dumb
  • Good

I guess what I’m trying to say is, Kaichou wa Maid-sama is garbage, and  Seitokai Yakuindomo is awesome. I mean, how many other shows will show a deer dry humping a main character?

Not many. And I’ll admit, at first, I thought this show was pretty stupid. Most of the jokes (actually pretty much all of them), you could see coming for a mile away. The general layout was as such:

  1. Set Scene
  2. Set up for the punch line with a characters saying or doing literally anything.
  3. Have another character somehow turn that into something perverted, usually relating to masturbation. In fact, I’m pretty sure that every single girl in this anime is obsessed with thinking perverted thoughts. They literally say nothing that isn’t perverted. And there’s vibrators all over the place.

It was pretty much that over and over, which normally would grow old, but in this case, just grew funnier and better as the show continued. In fact, had this show been longer, I would maybe consider giving it a 5^^, and that’s saying something quite exuberant. This had everything a guy like me could want, including, my favorite…

Fourth wall? You mean that thing over there that got smashed to pieces? Yea, fuck it. Time for my favorite character.

Ranko Hata

And for that, you win.

DEAD PAN. Eye’s are usually anime-mated (anime iconography). This one was kind of tough because all of the characters were kind of the same. In the end I liked what Hata’s seiyuu, Satomi Arai did with the part. I also liked the sensei, and her seiyuu, but hey, she can’t drink coffee in under 10 seconds.

FINAL GRADE = 5*

Bill couldn't handle the vast amount of vibrators.

Second season? Thank you very much.

A Deal is a Deal

A while ago, I said something along the effects of: “I’m not watching any more Berserk until the manga starts to finish up or another season is announced.” (that might not be exactly what I said, but I can’t hold out any longer).

Well guess what!?

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2010-09-27/new-berserk-anime-project-launching

BOOM BAM SMASH BOOM KICKASS AWESOME.

I don’t think that any of you realize how hard it was for me to stop watching this anime. I’ve quartered all sorts of comments like “When are you gonna fucking finish Berserk!?” and “When are you gonna fucking finish Berserk already!?”. It was hard. I fucking loved the show. But hey, I’ve done similar things with a lot of great shows/manga. Look at this shit:

  • I still haven’t watched the recent Black Lagoon OVA because I’m waiting for all of them to be released before I steamroll through that shit.
  • I stopped reading Gantz, which I consider to be the greatest manga ever conceived.
  • The same can be said for Claymore (although if I want to pick up Claymore again, I’m going to have to re-read a lot of it, because I forget everything).
  • I only recently caved in to reading Bleach, which is a fucking awesome smash-faced manga (except for that last chapter, which was a gay stupid shit fest of dumb).

I’m sure there’s more examples, but these are the top four things I’ve stopped watching/reading, even though I badly wanted to continue/start. I’ll relaunch my watching of the original anime this coming weekend, and I’ll probably finish it in one sitting….although I do have to work and have a 5 mile race to run/win.

This whole thing was first brought to my attention via 5camp.

Gintama: Because Who the Hell Needs Doctor Fees?

Have you ever been or had one of the following:

  • Vomiting
  • Depression
  • Diarrhea
  • Dizzy
  • Raped
  • Cancer
  • AIDS
  • Broken Bone(s)
  • Sleep Deprivation
  • Really bad ACNE
  • Gay
  • Not Gay
  • Sara Palin
  • Ugly
  • Sticky
  • Alzheimer’s (well, you probably can’t remember if you do or not)
  • Amnesia (again, probably can’t remember)
  • Lacerations
  • Skin Completely torn off
  • Head caved in
  • Missing bowels
  • Heart torn out of body
  • Other

Think about this picture and realize how fucking awesome it is.

Did you actually go to the doctor and PAY him to fix you up? You’re SOOOooOOO STUPID! Going to a doctor is POINTLESS. Not only do you have to drive there, you also have to wait forever in a small room with other ailing people, and then when you’re finally called, you have to wait in a DIFFERENT room forever, and then finally the doctor comes in, touches your balls or something, and tell you what’s wrong with you. Then he’ll write some expensive prescriptions or something, and then you have to go get them filled, which costs more money, and then finally drive all the way home. That whole process could take HOURS. But you don’t actually need to do any of that! All you need is a computer, an internet, and a few episodes of Gintama, because not only is Gintama NOT a waste of your time, but it’s one of the most enjoyable things you can do with your time EVER. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! It is a cold, hard FACT that Gintama cures the following ailments and malnormalities:

  • Shattered Cunt
  • Cancer
  • AIDS
  • HIV
  • All other STDs
  • Broken Bones
  • Grease or Acid Burns
  • Rug Burns
  • Botched Surgical Procedures
  • Carpel Tunnel
  • Torn Asshole (anal fissure)
  • Being a Tool
  • Stupidity There is no cure for stupidity
  • Headaches
  • Gintama Deprivation
  • Sleep Deprivation
  • Deprivation Deprivation
  • Bronchitis
  • Brontosaurus
  • Bron-Bron Going to Miami
  • Hoof in Mouth Disease
  • Hoof in Ass Disease
  • Ass Disease
  • Loneliness
  • Depression
  • Suicidal Thoughts
  • Actual Suicide
  • Death

It’s pretty much the greatest fucking thing ever. Don’t have a computer? Well fuck it, order some episodes online, you don’t even have to leave your ho-……oh wait you need a computer to order them…….well whatever, you can drive to the mall or nearest anime outlet and it will still be quicker and cheaper than going to Doctor Jackass. Don’t have a tv on which to watch the episodes? Grab the manga! Don’t know how to read? GINTAMA CURES ILLITERACY!!!!! THERE’S SO MANY OPTIONS!!!!

So if you’ve been suffering from anything (except stupidity and Sara Palin), then get some fucking Gintama, because it’s fucking awesome.

(results may vary. consult your doctor before usi-……oh that kinda defeats the purpose of this whole post huh? well, I don’t wanna get sued by some dumbass. seriously though, Gintama rules.)

Video Girl Ai: Awesome God Damn Manga

I first saw Video Girl Ai, the animated OVA series, about a year back. I loved it. It was awesome. One thing about it though, I always had thought that the ending could have been handled a bit more clearly. Therefore, without skipping a beat, I turned to the manga, which was a glourious 116 chapters long. Not too long, but not short enough where I would just forget about it months later, like what I’ve done with a lot of one-shot manga I’ve read over the years….like Pieta….I gave it a 5^^, but the only thing I remember about it is that it has lesbians in it. I think there was some suicide or something, which would explain why I might have liked it (I love stories with suicide attempts for some reason?).The manga proved to be just as good, if not better than the OVA series (the OVA was pretty fucking spectacular).

Video Girl Ai is mainly about romance I’d say….I mean, the plot seems fairly cliche, running along the lines of “girl pops up out of nowhere and lives with kid” but in actuality, this manga is an ass kicker and there is nothing cliche about it…….except like……well what I just said……….but the rest of the story….okay fuck it.

Ze Plot

Youta gets rejected by the love of his life (indirectly). But because he has a pure heart, a magical video store pops up out of nowhere when he’s bawling his eyes out (cuz he’s a little bitch). He enters and is greeted by an old man, who tells him to take any video he wants. All of the videos have a picture of a girl on the cover, and are supposed to comfort one with a broken heart. He rents a video, thinking it’s a nice porn, and goes back to his place, where, coincidentally, he lives alone. He plays it, and surprise surprise, out pops a girl (Ai), who was nice, comforting, and warm in the video. However, Youta played said video in a broken VCR (that’s right, this shit is OLD), and all her shits all fucked up, and she’s kind of a crazy bitch. Anyway, she begins to live with him (now you see why it was lucky he lives alone…in the most awesome apartment ever, by the way).

So what’s the big deal about this manga, you may ask. Well, the big deal is that there are BAM moments left and right. Youta starts liking all sorts of girls, and girls are liking him, and he’s trying to bang em (sort of), and they’re tryin’ to bang him (sort of), and the dude who created Ai is trying to kill her because she’s broken, and all sorts of other crazy ass shit started coming out of the woodwork that my head exploded with awesomeness. Not only that, but the artwork is glourious. Literally FUCKING GLOURIOUS!

I don’t know what else to say. This manga is one of the best I’ve read. I mean, sure, Youta’s super-retarded-extra-niceness did get on my nerves a bit. And the fact that he was fucking retarded did too, but once you start reading it, you’re fucked. You won’t be able to stop. I read this shit in two sittings. Very awesome. Read it now or die a death of the dead.

Stamped with the approval of Glo the Legend

Extra Shit

I don’t care what anyone says, the word “GLOURIOUS” is spelled how I spell it….with two “U”s. Anyone who disagrees is a FUCKING GRUNDLE-FONDLER.

I have a shit load of drafts I have to post, that are all ready to be posted. I’m finding it hard not posting every second…..this is what school does to me, it enforces posts. That is one reason why an ISSS is better than a blog. Blogs don’t do SHIT during school. I kick ASS.

Apocalypse Zero Episode 2 FINAL REVIEW

Oh, and in case you’re not aware: NOT SAFE FOR ANYTHING EVER.

Well, I’ll be honest, the first episode sucked. But this final episode was actually hilarious and awesome. Even though the end was kind of bleh. Yet, here is my review.

The episode starts off with some real ugly faggots who’ve clearly never had sex before, but than this whore/obvious tactical evil shows up with no other thought in mind than to do the nasty:

What. A. WHORE.

First of all, this should already be pretty suspicious. A “hot” girl randomly shows up and offers sex? In a nurse outfit…nay, a CLEAN nurse outfit!? Have you seen the world you guys live in? There’s not way that you could keep something of that bright color clean for more than a minute. Silly humans. Tricks are for PIMPS. If it were me, I’d probably high tail it out of there end up fucking her anyway. Anyway, as it turns out, all three of these sad fellows suffer from a disease called GPT, or, in layman’s terms, Giant Penis Tongue.

And it looks like their tongues are wrapped and strapped. Must be part of the medical treatment....always wear a condom on your tongue.

Now normally, any girl would jump at the chance to have cunnilingus with any of these fine gentlemen. Or they would run and hide under a bush. However, our naughty nurse (which is the name of a GREAT beer by the way….although it’s only found in my town) simply wants these guys to get laid, but seeing the penis tongues confused her, and she didn’t know what penis was the actual penis, so she instead had one of the gents shove his entire arm up her vagina:

See, this is why people need to get tested for shit. This girl has so many STDs I don't even...

These three? Not too bright. With the amount of STDs a girl like her has, you shouldn’t be surprised that contact with her genitals would devour your flesh. As you can imagine, these guys don’t give a shit, they’ve never fucked anyone, and they’re horny ass hell. She fucks all of them, and presumably, they have a great time (they never showed what happened).

Later on, our main character, Sonic, is in his apartment with his friends, checking out his armor, when suddenly our Nursey slut comes to the door and begs for cock. Her clothes are all tattered and she says that three guys tried to rape the shit out of her LITERALLY. What a coincidence, ALL of Sonic’s friends leave to find a doctor for the whore, who ironically, is a nurse. Once they leave, the free prostitute begs Sonic to fuck the shit out of her LITERALLY, and what does Sonic do? He doesn’t even smile, he just smacks her to the ground for not having shaved her armpits. He then beats her with a mallet continuously, but she just moans in ecstasy, because she’s a fucking freak, and she’s into all that shit. Sonic really has no mercy, and I don’t blame him. Look at those things:

7 people with strange fetishes just got boners.

For the record, I only just realized that Sonic doesn’t smile once in this whole entire really long and extensive 2 episode series. Pretty bad ass. He proved a lot to me. Anyway, the whore reveals that….SURPRISE! She’s actually a really horny tactical evil, and releases her signature move:

That is the funniest fucking thing I’ve maybe ever seen. A DOUBLE BIG TIT BOMB. It was at this point that suffering through the first episode was worth this episode. This show was fucking hilarious and awesome. Anyway, after a lot of foreplay, Sonic rapes the shit out of her, LITERALLY, and moves on.

It was at this point that I stopped taking screenshots, but if you want to see the old geezer, whose penis and testicles turn into a mother fucking DRAGON, then I would suggest watching at least the second episode of this show. Before I get to the final grade, a couple pros and cons:

PROS

  • The Tactical Evils (monsters) got funnier and funnier with each one. The last dude with the penis dragon was the funniest thing ever created.
  • The plot wasn’t actually THAT bad….I mean, it was pretty bad, but I was actually kinda interested during this episode.
  • Sonic (I forgot his real name) was bad ass. Especially when he turned into fucking Iron. Sick stuff bro.
  • Seiyuu weren’t bad.

CONS

  • Pretty much everything else.

It wasn’t good by any means, but still it was hilarious, and therefore:

FINAL GRADE = 3

I would give the first episode a 1 and the second one a 4 or 5, thus….3.

200,000 Hits: Ode to the Random Mastery

Does this even warrant a post? Doubt it. Honestly, what am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to give out my ISSS’s stats? Or how many posts I have? I have a lot of posts, almost 6000 comments, and obviously, 200K hits. Who cares? Let me lay this out for everyone:

Hits don’t mean shit. Honestly, I could have 393829049483 hits by now if I wanted to, because I know the secret. Just write about what everyone is searching for. For example, lately, I’ve been averaging a cool thousand hits, which is like….3 times as much as usual, simply because I made a bunch of posts about the new My Chemical Romance album.  Speaking of that album, I’ve had Art is the Weapon, which I downloaded off YouTube, on repeat ever since that promo was released. Not only that, but I searched, “Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys” and this is what I came up with……

That screen-shot was taken as of 12:26 AM on Wednesday September 22nd. This next one was taken a few days before that:

Is that me again? Now, obviously I’ve changed my header, and it’s not longer up there, but if you search the album title, you will find my avatar, and, for some reason, oballer’s avatar. He might be getting more hits because of it, but he quit anime due to what I assume is a mix of business and a family crisis that hopefully ends well, so I doubt he knows or even cares. I wouldn’t. But with the promo just being released, every MCR in the world is searching for this shit. I know, because I’m one of the biggest. Need more proof? My top hits were all from three different spellings of Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys. It even beat out “boobs“, which is still my leader in hits.

Likewise, I could look at the most searched thing on Yahoo and make a post about that if I wanted some hits. However, I hate Justin Bieber, and don’t feel like getting a shit load of hits from a bunch of middle school girls and pedophiles who have bad taste in everything. I hope he dies to be real. He should do some kind of collab with Paris Hilton and they both can go die together. All wars would probably end if that happened, because everyone would be so happy.

Anyway, now I’m going to brag, because writing this post put me in that kind of mood. I’m the fuckin best. Here’s a real life example:

  • At my summer job as a camp counselor (which is now over), we have this thing at the end of everyday called “High Five of the Day” where my boss chooses one person who has done something above and beyond their job description, and gives them 5 dollars. Now, I worked for two weeks at a YMCA youth group, which is run by the same people, and then I quit to instead bus tables. Yesterday, I had a YMCA meeting, because I’m still doing another thing at the YMCA for teens, and I got a High Five of the Day from the Youth Director, even though I ditched them all. He then said that he really wants me to come back someday, because I kick so much fucking ass that he would pay for hookers to fondle my junk. True words. There’s one reason why I kick ass.

Why else do I kick ass? I’ll fucking tell you….AFTER this picture of the greatest female character in all of anime:

Fucking Space Pirate dude count me in.

  • I’m starting a fucking gang. I’ve been trying to do this for a while, but I never knew enough black people to make a gang that was threatening enough. I still don’t know many black people, but I’m not letting it hold me back any longer. I’m starting a gang, and we’re going to steal everything from everyone. All your shit are belong to us. All your gold, all your money, and even all your bass.
  • I can officially rape shit in Call of Duty. I played about 12 times today and came in the top three every single time.
  • GZA is awesome. Liquid Swords on repeat son.
  • In other news, and I’m getting wayyyy off topic now, I’m finally trying to move out of my parents house and get an apartment with a bunch of friends. I do need a job before I do this, but fuck that would kick ASSSSS. Job hunting commences this Friday. Wish me luck applying to every Borders books in the state (discount on manga?).

Listen to this now:

That was fucking glorious. Worship me. I have to go shit now.

Tenchi Muyo Saga Part 1: Tenchi Universe

In this I will be reviewing all of the Tenchi Muyo anime that I’ve just completed, which is, to my knowledge, all of the Tenchi Muyo anime that are out there…..that I care about. I’m not watching that Pretty Sammy spin off, nor do I want to watch a few of the others. For example, Tenchi GXP looks like a cluster fuck of stupid shit, so I’m not watching that garbage.) Pretty much, I’m gonna review Tenchi Universe, Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki!, and Tenchi in Tokyo. I will be talking a lot about Ryoko because she’s arguably my favorite character of all time. Be prepared. I was  GOING to review them all in one post, but no one wants to read something so long, so I’ll split them up, and start with Tenchi Universe.

EDIT: I might actually watch all of the Tenchi stuff after all, even GXP, because Shinichi Watanabe aka Nabeshin (Excel Saga) is the director, and he’s awesome as fuck. can we get a picture of this asshole?

Notes

Before I dive into these reviews, some note about the franchise of Tenchi:

  • There are so many series and spin offs and OVAs and shit, that this was by far the most confusing franchise to watch. I debated for literally years as to what series to start with, and which to watch next. Fuck the people who made this shit. Finally, I actually looked into it, and decided the correct order to watch these shows.
  • This was a show from my past (Toonami) that I never paid attention to until now. The only thing I remembered from this show was that Ryoko was awesome.
  • Ryoko was the first anime character that I ever drew.
  • I really like Ryoko.
  • I have a boner.
  • ……
  • Okay, I don’t really have a boner, but I bet I made you laugh!
  • ……
  • I didn’t? I’m not funny you say? Fuck you asshole.
  • You can kind of see now the direction I’m taking with this review.

Well, I’m finally done with Tenchi Universe, and personally, I’m very happy at the ending, because if they killed off Ryoko I would have thrown a fit. It’s true that I only just finished it, and I only started it a month or two ago, but Ryoko has been one of my favorite characters ever since wayyyy back in the day, when Tenchi was on Cartoon Network (when it was new). Oh course since that time I had forgotten all of the episodes, but I still remembered Ryoko, and how awesome she was. However, she was about the only good character in this series.

Tenchi Universe

Premise: Bunch of people from space invade some average kid’s life and fuck shit up. One of them is Ryoko, which is the only incentive one should need to watch this show.

First let me talk about all the bad things:

  • The characters were all very flat, one-dimensional, and shallow, with the exception of Ryoko.
  • The show is called Tenchi Universe, but Tenchi himself didn’t really play any part in the show until the end. He was kind of just there, making him one of the gayest lead characters ever. If you ask me, Ryoko was more of the lead character, and I’m not just saying that because I have a literal boner for her. She had the most depth, when compared to someone such as Ayeka, who sucks so hard that I just want to kill her.
  • They shouldn’t have “fake-killed*” Ryoko, because it made me lose all interest in the rest of the series until they shows that Ryoko was alive at the end, which was great.
  • Tenchi just sucked. He lacked personality, expression, an interest factor, a soul.
  • Mihoshi was a character in this show, and she didn’t get killed off.
  • The animation in general seemed kind of cheap, although that’s probably just because it’s older.
  • Mihoshi fuck she was stupid. Oh, I already said that? Fuck it, she sucked THAT BAD.

Now, all the good things:

  • The plot was actually not that bad. I loved the twist with Tenchi’s grandfather turning out to be Yosho.
  • Ryoko and Washu were two characters I liked…..although I thought that Washu created Ryoko or something like that? The never talked about that stuff. (EDIT: Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki covers this).
  • I actually liked the dubs for this series, which is why I watched a lot of the episodes in both dub and sub.

FINAL GRADE = 4

Extra Shit

So there will be more Tenchi reviews coming over the next week or two, there’s a bunch of them….I only just started Tenchi in Tokyo, and haven’t seen any of the movies yet, so I’m about to thrash those into the ground.

Also, I still have to watch Apocalypse Zero Episode Two, but I will, and the review will probably be out sooner or later.