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After an entire lifetime with Mugen, I’ve finally decided that it’s time for a change. Ichigo is just way too bad ass. What say you? Did you like the old header, or is this one awesome as shit? I also was able to utilize both speech boxes to incorperate not only my title, but my ISSS’s slogan as well. It’s pretty much a perfect match for me.

Apocalypse Zero: God This Show Is Bad Part I

Okay, so as you may or may not know, I lost a bet, and have been forced to watch this show, which everyone seems to say is the worst piece of shit ever. I went into it with optimism, looking for a way to prove everyone wrong about it’s quality, but after only 12 minutes, I felt like killing myself until I died from it.

Basically, the world is in ruins because earthquakes decided to happen non-stop for 3 years for no apparent reason. Tokyo is in shambles, has nothing but danger behind every corner, has monsters running wild, and can’t even support any plant life……BUT THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE LIVING THERE. WHY SO STUPID PEOPLE???? HOW BOUT YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE AND BUILD A FUCKING FARM DURRRRRRRRRRRRRR!?!?

So anyway, the episode starts off with some girl guy girl chipmunk and her it’s brother training in some cold place, fighting a large titted bear-beast until it eventually explodes. Some armor is given to them, and then we’re abruptly taken years into the future, where the brother of the chipmunk is attending school.

There’s the chipmunk I was talking about. Apparently, this is indeed a guy, despite the fact that he has boobs later on. I could be wrong, but I think it’s actually Knuckles. I don’t know why they gave him boobs though, Knuckles is the best Sonic character out there. They really disrespected him in this anime. So after a minute, we see a cute couple looking amazed that a flower is actually growing in Tokyo, but then this fat bitch shows up and ruins everything:

Yeah. Pity me, for I am watching this.

See that girl’s face? Pop goes the weasel. See that guy? He rapes him and literally kisses his face off, then sews it to her left tit. I’ve been so traumatized that I don’t even know how to finish this sentence.

Anyway. The Chipmunk, who, like most characters, is actually a Sonic character, ends up killing it’s dad (the person it’s standing next to?.

I feel sorry for you...you're both bald

So Sonic, the main character, goes to a random, broken down, piece of shit in Tokyo, which is a place you should not be living, yet here we are. Apparently the apocalypse really affected the youth, because look at the hair on these assholes above me. They look like a bunch of fuck heads.

At least one person cares about dental hygene.

As Sonic sits down, he’s suddenly confronted by Bison, who is better known from Street Fighter, but was apparently in this anime playing a cameo role. He politely asks Sonic if he could help him brush his teeth, which I find to be only the most curtious thing to say, but everyone gets offended for some reason, especially Amy Rose:

She looks exactly like a Sonic character....honestly.

So anyway, it’s clear right off the bat the Sonic is making Amy Rose wet as a dog in the rain, and Bison, who’s had his on on Amy Rose’s retardedly over-sized hair-bow, is having none of it. He abruptly is transported with Sonic into an alleyway, where he hits Sonic once, and then, after Amy Rose complains, he takes her away, because he’s a real man, unlike Sonic, who gets hit like a pussy and does nothing about it. He later has lots and lots of sex with Amy Rose’s hair-bow, but he actually has no real interest in Amy Rose. Maybe it’s because of her resemblance to a fucking mouse. Later on, Bowser shows up and starts a huge ruckas:

Spikes on the back? Fat? Sharp teeth? Blows Fire? It's Bowser.

So now it’s Sonic vs Bowser in the classis video game mash up. Sonic give Bowser a huge punch to the stomach and makes Bowser throw up a bunch of bones, and now this next part is pretty dumb, because you know that guy from the second screenshot who’s face got ripped off? Well he’s somehow still alive, and Amy Rose wastes no time trying to satisfy her urges of necrophilia:

Yeah, he looks totally fine

Here’s a question, this dude has no insides, is pretty much a skeleton, and is still moving around. He’s even moving his hands and wrists. Don’t you need muscles to do that? Look at his arms, BONES. And how does he have hair? This part was stupid. I wouldn’t touch this dude with a ten foot pole, but Amy Rose is all too willing. After Sonic defeats Bowser by punching his brain out the back of his head, a day goes by and a monster with a microphone penis comes out and Sonic beats him too (I’m not even gonna bother showing it. The fact is, he doesn’t stack up to any of the awesome monsters from Ultimate Girls, which was awesomely funny. At the end, Obi-Wan Kenobi shows up and tells Sonic to travel to the Dagobah system to meet some little green dude. Honestly, there were so many cameos in this show it was ridiculous.