200,000 Hits: Ode to the Random Mastery

Does this even warrant a post? Doubt it. Honestly, what am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to give out my ISSS’s stats? Or how many posts I have? I have a lot of posts, almost 6000 comments, and obviously, 200K hits. Who cares? Let me lay this out for everyone:

Hits don’t mean shit. Honestly, I could have 393829049483 hits by now if I wanted to, because I know the secret. Just write about what everyone is searching for. For example, lately, I’ve been averaging a cool thousand hits, which is like….3 times as much as usual, simply because I made a bunch of posts about the new My Chemical Romance album.  Speaking of that album, I’ve had Art is the Weapon, which I downloaded off YouTube, on repeat ever since that promo was released. Not only that, but I searched, “Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys” and this is what I came up with……

That screen-shot was taken as of 12:26 AM on Wednesday September 22nd. This next one was taken a few days before that:

Is that me again? Now, obviously I’ve changed my header, and it’s not longer up there, but if you search the album title, you will find my avatar, and, for some reason, oballer’s avatar. He might be getting more hits because of it, but he quit anime due to what I assume is a mix of business and a family crisis that hopefully ends well, so I doubt he knows or even cares. I wouldn’t. But with the promo just being released, every MCR in the world is searching for this shit. I know, because I’m one of the biggest. Need more proof? My top hits were all from three different spellings of Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys. It even beat out “boobs“, which is still my leader in hits.

Likewise, I could look at the most searched thing on Yahoo and make a post about that if I wanted some hits. However, I hate Justin Bieber, and don’t feel like getting a shit load of hits from a bunch of middle school girls and pedophiles who have bad taste in everything. I hope he dies to be real. He should do some kind of collab with Paris Hilton and they both can go die together. All wars would probably end if that happened, because everyone would be so happy.

Anyway, now I’m going to brag, because writing this post put me in that kind of mood. I’m the fuckin best. Here’s a real life example:

  • At my summer job as a camp counselor (which is now over), we have this thing at the end of everyday called “High Five of the Day” where my boss chooses one person who has done something above and beyond their job description, and gives them 5 dollars. Now, I worked for two weeks at a YMCA youth group, which is run by the same people, and then I quit to instead bus tables. Yesterday, I had a YMCA meeting, because I’m still doing another thing at the YMCA for teens, and I got a High Five of the Day from the Youth Director, even though I ditched them all. He then said that he really wants me to come back someday, because I kick so much fucking ass that he would pay for hookers to fondle my junk. True words. There’s one reason why I kick ass.

Why else do I kick ass? I’ll fucking tell you….AFTER this picture of the greatest female character in all of anime:

Fucking Space Pirate dude count me in.

  • I’m starting a fucking gang. I’ve been trying to do this for a while, but I never knew enough black people to make a gang that was threatening enough. I still don’t know many black people, but I’m not letting it hold me back any longer. I’m starting a gang, and we’re going to steal everything from everyone. All your shit are belong to us. All your gold, all your money, and even all your bass.
  • I can officially rape shit in Call of Duty. I played about 12 times today and came in the top three every single time.
  • GZA is awesome. Liquid Swords on repeat son.
  • In other news, and I’m getting wayyyy off topic now, I’m finally trying to move out of my parents house and get an apartment with a bunch of friends. I do need a job before I do this, but fuck that would kick ASSSSS. Job hunting commences this Friday. Wish me luck applying to every Borders books in the state (discount on manga?).

Listen to this now:

That was fucking glorious. Worship me. I have to go shit now.


22 thoughts on “200,000 Hits: Ode to the Random Mastery

  1. Pingback: Inner West LIVE

  2. 1. Our gang will be awesome. all your base are belong to us.

    2. Liquid Swords is the most awesome nasty fucking album ever. I can listen to it 10000000000 times in a row and not get sick of it.

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