Top 3 Musical Artists Who Suck But Who Some Assholes Think Are Good

These guys SUCK. I still don’t know how people like them. And before you start spouting bullshit like,

“Well, you don’t have to listen to them!”

Just shut the fuck up. I do have to listen to them, because my car sucks so bad that not only does it not have a cd player, but it also doesn’t have anyway to connect an ipod/cd player/etc up to the sound system. So I’m literally forced to listen to the radio.

“Oh, but you can CHANGE THE CHANNEL!”

NO I FUCKING CAN’T. At most I can turn the radio off, which is no fun at all, but I’m forced to do it all the time. The only station I have is 104.1, which plays a decent amount of good music, but a lot of complete SHIT. I mean, I could change the channel, but everything else is all the same middle school pop shit. I hate that shit. There’s no hip hop on the radio anymore, even rap is all just middle school pop shit. Radio 104.1 is the best I got, but they also suck. Just looks at it’s fucking home page:

In case you don’t get what’s wrong with this home page, I’ll tell you with the use of bullets:

  • Mid Day Marley. Sometimes I’m in the mood for reggae, but usually, it just sucks. It’s too boring. I’m strung way too tight for that shit. I need something with oomph. Something badass. That’s an excuse. In truth, Reggae simply sucks.
  • Hint: Green Day is on this list. Even people who hate MCR and call them gay (Ironically, Mike) have to agree that these assholes are the dumbest fuck-heads on the planet. They make shitty music, and they look like fucking pussies.

Radio 104.1 plays a fair amount of good music. However, in between these good songs…for example, as I write this, they’re playing Oasis, which is awesome. They’re not exactly bad ass, but they’re still pretty fucking good. They have also been known to play some Smashing Pumpkins, Muse, and other good ol’ stuff from the 90’s (which is when all forms of media were in their ideal states). However, in between the good stuff, they play a large amount of SHIT. Mainly, this shit consists of Linkin Park and Green Day (I can actually smell shit as I write this, and I’m being truthful.). 104.1 is obsessed with these two bands, and they both suck. I remember when I didn’t hate Linking Park back when I was a middle schooler, and was pretty much only listing to Linkin Park, Godsmack, Drowning Pool, and those guys. But then I grew up and realized that they SUCKKKKKK. I’d rather watch my dick hair grow then put up with their shit. Anyway, let’s get to the shitty bands.

Nickelback

You look like a stupid Horse-Man.....stop singing guy.

I hate bands like this. They sing in some deep voiced half country gay shit kind of tone that pisses me off. I’ve never liked a single one of their songs, especially since all of them sound exactly the same. I don’t wanna hear someone growl on a track like these assholes. There’s a bunch of people with this same exact sound (or something similar) Creed (suck), Puddle of Mudd (have one good song), etc. They’re pretty much all shitty bands with lead singer that have long hair and think they’re tough shit. They aren’t. Just look at any picture of them. Do it. You know what you’ll find? They squint in every single picture. They aren’t squinting because the sun is too bright though, they’re squinting because they’re trying really really hard to look cool. That’s what tools do. God I hate Nickeback. When Nickleback members die, I’m going to throw a fucking party, and no Nickleback will be played. In fact, we will burn Nickleback albums and pictorals. Actually, why wait? Let’s do this tomorrow.

Instead of listening to Nickleback, I’d rather…..

Shoot myself in the dick with a harpoon

Kings of Leon

Holy shit, I thought I hated them BEFORE I saw what they looked like. What the fuck is that one guy in the middle wearing? Now we know what Jesus would look like if he were an interpretive dancer.

If I wanted to hear a lead singer whine for 30+ minutes then yes, I would buy a Kings of Leon album. The sad thing is, the only part of Kings of Leon that sucks is their lead singer. I generally like their songs, until the singing starts, then everything goes right to shit. I don’t know how anyone could like a band with such a shitty, whiney, pussy singer. These guys aren’t Kings of jack shit. They’re not even Queens. They’re fucking jokes.

But some songs have a different singer! Haven’t you heard King of the Rodeo?

Yea, it sucked. Kings of Leon suck. I hate them. When they break up (into pieces and die), then I’ll throw a God. Damn. Party.

Instead of listening to Kings of Leon, I’d rather…..

Slit my wrists with the chainsaw from Doom 64 (but not die from it).

Green Day

Just look at this picture and tell me you don't want to shoot all of these people based on looks alone. You can't do it.

Green Day used to be good. In the 90’s. When they were all on drugs. Then they got off the drugs and started making fucking political statements. SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING DICK-HOLE! I don’t wanna hear God Damn political statements in my fucking songs! I know you feel strongly about the war, that’s fine, but I don’t wanna hear your shitty music every two seconds on 104.1, which I’m beginning to think you own. In fact, it’s not even the political part that pisses me off, it just the fact that it all sounds like shit. If you made your political songs GOOD, then I might like them. But nope, you just HAVE to make them sound like shit.

Slightly off topic, but do you know who my least favorite rap artist is? Immortal Technique. You know why? There’s a lot of reasons, but mainly he sucks, and only raps about the government and conspiracies and BULLSHIT. He’s an annoying prick and when he dies, I’m throwing a fucking party, but I’m not even going to get into the shit that rap has become (not today at least).

Green Day had one good song in their entire existence, and that song is Brain Stew. Why was it good? Because of drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. They should have kept taking drugs, and here’s why:

  1. Their music wouldn’t suck.
  2. They’d probably be dead, which would give them no time to make shitty music.

God that American Idiot album has to be the worst thing ever made.

Instead of listening to Green Day, I’d rather….

Kick my balls into the upper stratosphere.

Other notables:

That’s pretty much it. Those are my top three. But there’s a lot more, off the top of my head, here are a couple of bands that suck but people still seem to like for some reason:

  1. Dave Matthews Band. I can see this seeing as their concerts are apparently just places to get high and shitfaced. I’d probably actually have a decent time, as long as ignored the music. Or I’d get really pissed off at the shitty music and kill everyone. I don’t plan on finding out either way, but I left them off the list because I was too lazy to continue this post much farther.
  2. Coldplay. I used to hate them. Then I thought I liked them because of the Viva la Hova album that mashed them with Jay-Z. Turns out they still suck.
  3. Jack Johnson. I’m not going to explain this, not because I can’t, but because at this point, I really shouldn’t have to.
  4. Linkin Park. They aren’t that bad I guess….but they’ve gone downhill. Like…I shut the radio off when I hear them.

The Bottomline

So what’s the point? Here’s the point:

WHY HASN’T 104.1 PLAYED THE NEW MY CHEMICAL ROMA-

Fuck I knew it was about something gay like this….

But it premiered in Philly! On their 104 station! What’s taking our gay station in CT so God Damn Long!? LOOK AT THIS SHIT: