Berserk Review

Massive Spoilers NSFW (tl;dr version at bottom)

I’m doing this in two three parts.

Part One: Most of the Series (up to the rescue of Griffith)

This is my wallpaper. It will not change.

One of the best fucking things I’ve ever seen in my life. Guts was slicing people up, Caska was being one of my favorite female characters ever, and there was blood fucking everywhere. Even though Griffith was a huge pussy, Berserk was still pretty much the perfect anime, and getting better and better as it continued. I loved watching the Band of the Hawk rise to the top, fall back down to the bottom, and then be rescued by Guts.

As I said, Guts was killing everyone without much care. The storyline sort of repeated itself, and this was in no way depressing. A battle would start, Guts would kill fucking everyone who dared to underestimate him, and life was good. Caska was hot, she was awesome, and even though she was (for some odd reason) attracted to Griffith at first, she slowly decided that she could no longer deny the complete manliness of Guts, who has the ability to make any girl reach climax simply by looking at them a certain way. Guts fucks her, no big deal, and after that, she was hooked.

I love bloody shows, so all of the blood and head lopping was really awesome to watch. I was having a grand old time watching Guts hack through bodies, castle walls, doors, tanks, planets, and galaxies. But wait. What’s this?

Part Two: The Last Three Episodes

Caska, the greatest character ever, is about to get raped by birdman over here.

Pretty much the worst three episodes of anything I’ve ever watched. I actually recall watching it and thinking to myself, “I could really go for some Apocalypse Zero right now.” Honestly, I like a good mind-fuck, but this was just a whole bunch of stupid.

You know how when your friend says something along the lines of, “Don’t tell me how the movie ends I haven’t seen it yet!” and so you tell him that everyone dies, just to fuck with him? Well if you’re talking about Berserk one day, and a friend says, “Don’t tell me how the anime ends I haven’t seen it yet!” don’t joke around and tell him that everybody dies in the end, because you’ll be spoiling the entire ending to the anime.

Stupid.

Dumb.

Caska gets raped by a fucking bird-bat-beast-man. What the fuck is that? Before this episode I said to myself, “If Caska dies, I’m giving this anime a 2.” Now I’m all like, wtf!? She got raped by Birdman! Wtf do I do now!? At least Guts became even more fucking badass by killing all of the fuckin-huge demon beasts. He was all like, “Yeah so what you’re all fucking-huge demon beasts I’ll still fuck your day up!” And then he did. He even cut off his fucking arm to try and stop the Birdman from raping Caska no big deal.

WHY THE FUCK DID A BIRDMAN RAPE CASKA!? Not only is the Birdman one of the most ridiculous looking anime characters I’ve ever seen, but Casksa? You raped her? Fuck that just ruined it for me. I don’t care if it’s a children’s drawing of rape, I will hate anything with rape in it.

For the record, no, I have not been raped.

Speaking of rape. Birdman doesn’t even look like he enjoys sex. The whole time he was illegally sexing up Caska’s underbox, he wasn’t moving at all. He was still as a statue, and what’s more, he was just staring down Guts the entire time. I think he wants to fuck Guts.

Part Three: The Edit

After waiting a few days, I’ve re-thought my analysis. The ending has become, in my mind, less stupid, and I now view this entire show as an introduction to something bigger, which, I’m guessing, is pretty much what it is. I still hate the fact that Caska got raped and everyone dies. Guts better kill everyone. I’m about to become dangerously addicted to the manga, which I’m going to try and not pick up this very second. I think I’ll pick it up when the new series gets close to finishing. Fuck me this is why I didn’t want to watch the series, I’m going to catch up to the manga in a few days at most and then have to wait so fucking long for a new chapter and eventually forget about it like I did with the masterpiece that is Claymore. I can’t even remember more than 2 characters from Claymore anymore because I haven’t read it in over a year.

EDIT: I couldn’t hold back, I’m reading this shit.

Either way, this anime never really had enough in it to warrent a 5^^. It was probably on it’s way to a 5* rating, but these last three episodes, and the fact that it just ends like that. I expect the new series to be more complete, and thus warrant itself a higher grade. This anime was not complete. It cut off mid story (I’d even say it cut off at the beginning of the story). I actually looked for another episode after I finished the final one, only to be disappointed. I hate shit that just cuts off. The Sopranos? I never watched it, but I hate the ending to it.

Conclusion

To wrap up and clarify things, a few facts about Berserk, the anime:

• Guts is arguably the most bad ass character ever created by God.
• Caska is more awesome then the ability to shoot death rays out of one’s ass.
• Griffith is a huge pussy.
• I’m on the fence about reading the manga.
• The more I think about it, the more I like this show, ending included.

You know what, let’s talk about my opinions of the manga. Despite the fact that those last three episodes pretty much ruined any chance of me picking up the manga (like D Gray Man the anime did for me picking up THAT manga), there are reasons why I want to read it have started reading it:

• More blood, and way more bad assery. This is just a hunch based off of one picture I saw.
• Guts now has one arm and one eye. He’s still going to kill everyone on a mission of revenge. There is nothing in the world more bad ass than that.
• What kind of rape-child will Caska have? Will it have wings?

Either way, I’ll read the manga, but only if I still like anime/manga in 5 years, because I’m sure as shit not picking it up right now, when it isn’t even close to completion. It probably won’t be any closer in 5 years either. Waste of my time.

FINAL GRADE = 4 5

Oh Wow! Bill the Ass Kicker is actually a reincarnation of Guts!!! Bill was not impressed with the series ending, however.

EDIT: The manga is soooooo fucking nasty. 500 times better than the anime.