Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Worst fucking game I ever bought in my life.

It looked sick. It looked like the kind of game I would like. Instead, I got:

  1. Really slow loading times every 5 minutes. REALLY REALLY slow. Like want to shoot yourself in the face slow.
  2. A situation where, every time I started the game from the previous autosave, I would immediately be shot and killed, and there’s nothing I could do, other than restart the game from the fucking beginning.
  3. Boring, shitty, non-action gameplay.
  4. Obnoxiously, dull story.
  5. Shitty fucking shit.
  6. Awesome augmented arms that don’t do shit.
  7. You die after getting shot like once.
  8. In order to take someone’s dropped ammo, you have to be looking EXACTLY at it and then press X to pick it up. ANNOYING. I’d rather just be able to run over it and have it be picked up automatically. Way to completely stall and interrupt the gameplay.
  9. I paid 50 bucks for this shit!?
That being said, I’ve already  given up, and have no ambition to ever play this piece of shit game ever again. I’d rather shit on my own face. I’m going to sell this piece of shit on ebay and see if I can at least get a few bucks for it. What a GOD DAMN WASTE. I hope the creators of this shit-fuck-up-ass game get fired and forced to live in the streets. I can make a better game than this shit. It’s called fucking tic tac toe. Suck a dick Eidos.

22 thoughts on “Deus Ex: Human Revolution

  1. I’ve been obsessed with this game all week. I’ve been playing it instead of doing unimportant things, like schoolwork.

    1. Alright, I’ll give you that. I thought the slow loading times were because my laptop can only play the game at the correct framerate if I put all the settings to “shit.” Guess it’s both good and bad to know it’s not just me.
    2. I hate when that happens. It’s happened to me on other games before, too. Though DE:HR has two autosaves at a time. Both of them didn’t work? Though, even then, the game should probably save after certain amounts of time, not at certain locations like it currently does.
    3, 4, 5: Have you played the first Deus Ex? The series has always been rich when it comes to story. It’s philosophical and all that good shit. Though so far this one seems to be more about conspiracy than being philosophical.
    6. They kill people. Oh, and you can upgrade them to punch through walls and strangle people on the other side. Or throw dumpsters and vending machines at people. The attached blades are only used for killing, though. Which is kind of a shame, I agree.
    7. While it’s certainly possible to gun your way through the game, it heavily favors stealth. That’s why killing people with your arm blades alerts like every damn guard in a million-mile radius, while knocking them out is apparently as quiet as knitting.
    8. The thing is that guards have random shit on them, not just ammo for the gun they’re carrying (if that). I do wish you could get ammo from the dropped gun rather than only taking the gun itself, but eh. Or can you take the ammo, and I’m just being retarded?
    9. I pirated it because I’m evil and slowly dying inside.

    I’ll totally buy your copy off of you, though. Judging by the price, it sounds like you got the PC version. How much you want for it?

    • Herp derp double commenting, but you mention “pressing X,” which means you might actually have the Xbox 360 version (or are using a controller with the PC version, like I am). I’ll still buy it. I just can’t get the PS3 version, since I don’t have one.

      • I’ve decided to play it through. Even though the loading times (that’s the thing I hate most…..and the fact that I can’t read anything on the screen because it’s so fucking small…maybe I’m blind).

        Who knows, maybe I’m just jumping the gun here. I mean, I didn’t like Half Life 2 when I first started but that game quickly got really awesome. Really really really awesome. Can’t wait for Episode 3 but then again, it will probably just be for PC which sucks for me since I have this shit computer that can barely run the internet (slight exaggeration….but seriously it’s over 5 years old…it actually works decently). I mean, I’ve still got Windows XP. Vista’s come and gone since I’ve had this bucket of bolts. If I ever get a pay raise then I’ll think about getting a new one, which I really need to do.

        No I haven’t played any other Deus Ex games, I probably should, but since this is a prequel I figured it wouldn’t matter in terms of story, and it really hasn’t so far.

        I really wish there was more “beat the shit out of people with my badass arms,” but I’m starting to kinda like the stealth, and I only just realized that you can straight up rob people, which I didn’t know before. I just hate loading times. Half Life had great loading times (I should stop comparing games to Half Life it’s not fair for the other games).

        I’m gonna beat it one way or another. Probably will take a week. If you still want it I’ll sell it to you cheap.

  2. It’s alright, but the loading times killed it for me. Plus the stealth would’ve been nice but many moves give you out and kill you. I want more sleeper rifle ammo…

    • Yeah the ammo runs out real quick too, and I just….I’m not a fan of the sights for the guns (that’s just me being dumb though). I’m very impatient, the worst is when you keep dying at a certain part really quickly after you load a saved spot, and then you just keep having to wait and wait and wait.

  3. You know, I agree with your last paragraph – some say that Go is one of the easiest games to learn and hardest to win, but tic-tac-toe is much easier to learn and much harder to win.

    That had nothing to do with deus ex because I don’t play vidjas and I’m a loser and guess what has deus ex? TIGER AND BUNNY THAT’S WHAT

  4. I’ll get back to you once I figure out how to master this game’s controls on the PC. In the meantime, I’ll play Catherine, Disgaea 4 and Mortal Kombat instead…I’ll save Demon’s Souls for Christmas because I’m not in a masochistic mood right now.

    • I wasn’t blown away at all. I guess you have to have played previous games in the series to like the game. The thing I really hated was that you could only sprint for like…..2 seconds, then wait a minute for energy to load up. BULLSHIT I LIKE TO SPRINT.

      • I guess you’re more of a shoot first, ask questions later type player right? Would I be mistaken by saying that Dead Island is right up your alley? Just be sure to be prepared for bugs and download patches to stabilize them.

      • Never played Dead Island, but in Deus Ex, I mainly just killed everyone. I remember finding a garage filled with exploding barrels, and I just took them and threw them at people for fun. Then if someone chases you, you can just go into a ventilation shaft and they’ll be confused and won’t be able to find you. It was too easy to hide from people in this game.

  5. I played this shit, and the cover system is the worst fucking piece of shit ever, its not like Gears of War
    but you press the button and suddenly you are in 3 person ! WTF, the game is a spit in the face.

    DxHR is not a good FPS, FPS like HL2 make enphasis in the environment but this shit is not even good
    as a third person game, oh good, what a deception, what I did to deserve this mutant abomination from hell !

    The 3d models are another shame, and the gap from the promotional videos and the real game are so obvious
    that make you wonder if you are playing a different game, !

    But most dissapointing is the fact that adam jensen is a ex-cop, how could a fuking cop make a revolution !

  6. I have some alternate titles for this over-hyped video-crapgame.

    Deus Ex: Human involution

    Deus Ex: Human deception

    Deus Ex: inhuman boredom

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