Okay, I’m not sure if this post is ready, but it looks like the power might go out soon (giant snowstorm of death is raining it’s hellfire upon us), so I’m posting this now.
WB gave us great movies, like Ace Ventura, The Matrix, and V for Vendetta. All awesome movies that I love (there’s more than just these).
Then they gave us millions of gallons of shit. Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit. And the Animaniacs, which is arguably one of the best North American cartoons ever made. But after that? SHIT HSIT SHIT SIHTHIHISHGIO!!!!
I realized this due to this post of announcement (well, we’ve all known this for years, so I guess it would be a “take on something” rather than an announcement), of the latest green-lit anime to Hollywood movie: Akira.
As in, “Akira one of the best animated films ever” or “Akira one of the classic examples of animation in general.”
And now, Warner Brothers is going to do what it does best: Take something awesome, and turn it into a pile of shitty, shitty, SHIT.
I’m going to be upfront and honest with you, I watch a lot of movies. I like them. I watch anything that interests me in the slightest bit, and if a movie doesn’t interest me, then it’s shit, so no one should bother with it anyway. Out of the 500+ movies that Warner Brothers has popped out of its gaping anus, I’ve liked about 30 of them.
For all of you Math geniuses out there (sarcasm), that’s about 6%. Six……Per…..cent. And now let’s take some highlights of some of the remaining 94%, which is comprised of general shit:
This movies was probably the worst movie I’ve seen. Even if I had never seen the anime or even heard so much of a whisper about the story, I’d still hate this movie. Everything from the acting to the plot to the characters to the setting to the directing to whatever else goes into a movie was TERRIBLE. ABSOLUTE TRASH. I don’t think a worse adaptation could ever be ma-
The Last Shitbender
God kill me now. I laughed through this movie at it’s shitty, SHITTY, GOD-AWFUL ACTING, TERRIBLE ACTING, TERRIBLE DIRECTING, AND DID I MENTION THE ACTING!? (laughed hard, at things that weren’t meant to be laughed at). I cried at how much of a botch job the studio did with the adaptation. WHO THE FUCK CASTED THESE PEOPLE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT
Again, as a movie, this also sucked a WHOOOOOLLLELEEE bunch of mule-dick. This movie should go suck a bag of dicks while climbing a wall of dicks, and then do it again. (for the record, I think that seeing someone climb a wall of dicks would be really really funny). HOW CAN THINGS GET ANY WORS-
Didn’t even bother with this one because it seemed so God damn terrible. Was it? From what I’ve heard from the three people alive who bothered to watch it, yes. It was indeed a piece of shit.
Harry Potter and the Pile of SHIT
Okay, this one wasn’t THAT bad. The last two movies were pretty good (especially the last movie, that shit was AWESOME). But I’ve hated every Harry Potter movie that’s been released. They all had fantastic special effects and great casting (GREAT casting), but unfortunately, the scripts sucked the large, hairy testicles found on Hagrid’s undercarriage. Everymovie was a jumbled mess of shit. Imagine reading a book that was typed out with no use of the space bar or punctuation.
Was that last sentence fun to read? I hope not, because it was a pain in the ass to type. This is probably going to go off the page when it appears in the post. All the more better to illustrate my point.
WARNER BROTHERS SUCKS AT ADAPTATIONS.
Akira is as such (so far):
- All white actors
- Neo Tokyo changed to New Manhattan
- James Franco was offered a role and said no….since when does James Franco say no to anything?