Why Yuri Is So Fucking Awesome

I’ve realized it. I’ve discovered within myself truths of the world, her secrets, her mysteries, and her innermost desires. Yes, dear readers, I’ve realized why yuri is so fucking awesome.

Poll at the bottom! Cheers for the first yuri binge of 2012!

Take a gander at my character list (a list that needs an update in the same way that Girlfriends needs an anime adaptation). What do you see about the characters I’ve listed there? Instead of giving you time to look through that massive list, I’m just going to tell you.

At least 80% of my favorite characters from the shows I’ve watched are female. (complete guess since I was also too lazy to look through that massive list and do the math).

NOTE: I did a rough estimate and found that out of about 200 shows, 42 were male, and the rest were female (and one was a frog from Negima, didn’t count that).

Anyway, that’s no coincidence. I tend to almost always lean toward the female character in a show. I don’t know why but I always have. Of course, if the show has a pretty bad ass male lead like sayyy the show Berserk….wait a second, no I chose Caska for that one. Okay, bad example. Take a show like Baccano! That show had enough awesome female characters that you could take all of those awesome female characters and fill an empty void with awesome female characters. Basically, what I’m saying is Baccano had a lot of awesome female characters. But who is more bad ass and awesome than Rail Tracer? Answer? Only me, and I wan’t in Baccano!

So why are female characters better? And when am I actually going to talk about the title’s subject matter? I’ll answer the first question first:

Male characters are, for the most part, boring and dull. Sex sells and females are sex and thus more time seems to be spent developing the female characters (or maybe I just made that bit of logic up). That’s just an opinion and it’s probably wrong, but I don’t see many female otaku when compared to male otaku (technically, I see no otaku), so whatever.

That being said here are some things that Yuri contains, that happen to be of my favorite things any manga/anime could possible contain:

Holy shit. I can link each one of those to something I’ve written. Everything comes full circle once again. Glothelegend, you sir, are a legend (well….duh? DURRRRR).

Anyway, to embelish:

Lesbians

This….why did I even include this? Obviously lesbian manga/anime is going to include lesbians. But there it is. I love when lesbians will randomly pop up in a normal anime. Even Kanamemo, for all of it’s supreme crappiness, easily one of my top 3 most hated shows ever, contained lesbians, and they were the only bright spot of the show (besides Rie Kugimiya). Though to be honest, the writers kind of ran those two lesbos into the ground and made them annoying as hell by the end.

Now for the million dollar question: What’s so great about lesbians?

This stumps me. Is it the fact that 2 girls are better than one? Is it because female characters are always better than male characters, so when you replace a male character with another female character you get SMASH AWESOME? Is it because two girls together is hot/cute/makesyourheadfillwithcottoncandy?

The answer is yes, now let’s move on.

Girls With Glasses

Oh I have preached and preached about girls with glasses. Currently I have a crush on a girl with thick framed glasses in real life. She’s a babe too. The things I would do to her large breasts and shaply body…

Anyway, glasses. I like them on most girls. Not on ugly ones though. Fortunately, there’s really no such thing as ugly girls in manga, unless they were meant to actually be ugly (and then they’re REALLY fucking ugly…in a funny, comedic relief way though)

Girls Who Cry

I must me mean but I love to see a girl cry. If I had a girlfriend who started crying I would be happy and then grab her and throw her off a building hug her warmly in order to soothe her wounded soul before taking advantage of her emotional state and fucking the literal shit out of her asshole.

I like girls who cry they’re pretty cute.

BAM Moments

OHHHH HELL YES. I was reading Sasameki Koto today (now fully caught up) And there’s that moment.

You know the moment.

The moment when the girl has FINALLY fallen in love with the protagonist but is afraid to confess because she thinks that the protagonist thinks of her as just a really good friend and she doesn’t want to mess up their friendship so she never confesses but then learns “Oh wait a second this bitch loves me back!”? You know that moment? It’s this moment:

Extreme Sasameki Koto BAM Moment Spoiler

I WILL DO A FUCKING DANCE AROUND MY ROOM EVERY TIME I READ THAT PAGE (and the one afterward).

All good yuri….well that’s a lie….the two best yuri I’ve read, Girlfriends and Sasameki Koto, follow very similar plots (uhh….spoilers):

Two best friends. Friend A falls in love with friend B but never tells her because she doesn’t think that friend A will feel the same way about her and she doesn’t want to lose the friendship. Later, friend B FINALLY realizes that she loves friend A, but feels the same as friend A, so they’re both kind of in the same situation (retarded) until one of them, usually friend B, realizes that friend A actually has feelings for her, and then the end is in visible sight.

SO AWESOME.

And that, fellow fuckheads, is why Yuri is awesome. There’s just something vastly improved when love is found between two girls. I think I missed/forgot two other reasons why yuri is awesome….at least two….I had more yesterday fuck I should’ve written them down….

Sasameki Koto and Girlfriends need anime adaptations (though Sasameki Koto just needs a continuation). Here’s that poll I was talking about…

Why the fuck is the poll red!? I wanted it white. Fuck this shit RED POLL BITCHES!!

Dear Hoods Entertainment,

It has come to my attention that you will be producing the upcoming anime adaptation of the World’s Greatest Manga Ever, Mysterious Girlfriend X.

I must congratulate you on being given the honor to adapt such a fantastic manga, as I’m sure many production studios were clamoring to be the ones given the opportunity to adapt such an amazing and unique manga.

Now let me add, I’ve seen a list of all of the different anime you’ve produced, and I’ve grown a bit weary.

  • Aki-Sora
  • Manyuu Hikenshou
  • Seikon no Qwaser

There’s a lot of shit…..well…..there’s ONLY shit on that list. So let me get to my point.

IF YOU FUCK UP MYSTERIOUS GIRLFRIEND X AND TURN IT INTO SOME KIND OF SHITTY ECCHI ANIME THEN I WILL RIP YOU A NEW ASSHOLE EVERY WEEK FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY. I WILL SHIT ON YOUR FACE AND MURDER YOUR ALREADY SAD REPUTATION. YOU WILL RUE THE DAY!!!

Now, I look at this acquisition as an opportunity to broaden your genre a bit. Instead of producing nothing but ABSOLUTE SHIT, you have the opportunity to create something with smaller amount of ecchi and an exeptionally larger amount of awesomeness. DON’T FUCK IT UP.

-Glo the Legend

P.S. I swear to God Hoods Entertainment I will destroy you and make that my life goal if you fuck this up.

(note: glothelegend and Eye Sedso do not contain murder or any other malicious acts for any reason, and do not suggest to the reader to preform such acts. With that said, If Hoods Entertainment fucks up Mysterious Girlfriend X, and you, the viewer maliciously harm them all, Eye Sedso will not be all that sad about harm befalling them if you catch my drift)

Itoshi no Kana: Kana Getta Good Manga With A Ghost-Girl For Once!?

Not much to say about this manga, other than…

STOP HAVING SO MUCH SEX THIS MANGA IS GARBAGE!

Wow, three times in one chapter? In real life: Impressive. In manga: THE OPPOSITE.

I think I picked this up longgg ago and forgot about it. For good reason too it seems.

I remember thinking, “Oh this manga looks cool, it has the plot that I always wished would happen to me in real life!”

Today I picked it up again, and dropped it immediately after reading one page. What a piece of fucking shit. Every chapter page is the same as the previous one. The ghost fucks the kid and then they both love each other. It’s everything that sucks:

  • Sappy
  • Repetitive
  • Boring
  • No dialogue besides “Oh I love you, Daikichi!” “And I love you’re boobs, Kana!”
  • The worst continuous plot ever (it continues to suck)
Let me put it this way:
You know those sickening couples that you see in public, who are all over each other as if they’re alone in the world, and all you want them to do is get the fuck out of your eyesight? This manga is like reading that for it’s entirety.
Piece of fucking shit.

End.

April Showers Bring…..THE BEST ANIME EVER

Awwwwww shit son.

This April is a LOT less time than I thought I’d have to wait for this awesome, sure to be masterpiece of Japanese animation. But THIS APRIL, the greatest anime ever will be airing.

That’s right, the anime adaptation for Mysterious Girlfriend X premiers this April!!!

Even better news, the seiyuu slotted to voice Urabe is Chiaki Omigawa, who did an AWESOME job voicing Minko in HanaIro. I think she’s a great fit for Urabe, I was scared that they would totally botch the voice for Urabe and get someone stupid, but Chiaki is perfect for the role.

On the other side, Nobuhiko Okamoto, who did a great job voicing characters like Rin (Ao no Exorcist) and Usui (Kaichou wa Maid sama) is voicing Tsubaki. I don’t know how I feel about this.

Anyway, this anime coupled with Sankarea should provide this Spring with the best anime lineup in history, and lest us not forget Fate/Zero will be wrapping up.

FUCK. I CAN’T WAIT.

Ano Natsu de Matteru: You Don’t Need GLASSES to Watch THIS Anime! (get it?)

Why and how did I start watching this? The answer: Crunchyroll.

And right next to it is ANOTHER anime I need to start watching....GET IT!?

It was just up there. The poster for the show had been staring me in the face for like….a month. Sooooo I finally decided to check it out annnnnnnd it looks good so far.

It reminds me a lot of Ano Hana, especially with the art, which is exactly the same in every single way. The main character looks exactly the same from the hair to the glasses. He has experienced the death of a parent (in this case, both of them). Fuck, even the abridged versions of the names sound similar: Ano Hana vs Ano Natsu. In fact, the only real change is that with Ano Natsu, instead of a ghost living with a kid we have an alien. With big boobs. And glasses.

Everyone has fucking glasses.

Who could hate a show where everyone wears glasses?

Glasses are fucking awesome.

I’m going to make this post about glasses.

Glasses

Did I talk about glasses? Did I mention how I came to love glasses on a girl? Maybe I tiptoed through the subject when I endorsed the great manga, Yankee-kun to Megane-chan (megane being the word that was the reason for which I read it in the first place).

Here’s a few notes on glasses:

  • Asians look absolutely amazing in them.
  • I’d totally fuck a girl in glasses.
  • Thick framed glasses (the ones that say, “look at me, I’m a hipster,” can make a girl look hot, but hipsters should jump off a bridge (who the fuck likes hipsters? Answer: not even hipsters).
  • I’m not going to talk about guys who wear glasses, because I don’t give a shit about guys who wear glasses.
  • In anime, a girl in glasses can make any show better. The only higher way to improve a show could be lesbians. And lesbians who wear glasses? DON’T EVEN FUCK WITH THAT SHIT! (just kidding, you should totally fuck with that shit! Here’s looking at you Sasameki Koto [I yearn for another season])
  • …..
  • MAKE ANOTHER SEASON OF SASAMEKI KOTO!!!
  • …..
  • I’ve decided to pick up the manga for Sasameki Koto. Meaning right now. Gonna have to end this post, but I’ll leave you with this:

1. Some new post ideas you may see someday from me: Top Ten Glasses Girls in Anime, Post on OPs, Anime Viewing Guide of Awesomeness, and a bunch of other bullshit (key word from earlier in the sentence being you “may” see someday).

2. And of course……

NEW YORK GIANTS SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!!!!

FUCK THE PATRIOTS WE OWN YOUR LIFE!!!!

Eli Manning is no longer playing like a pussy! He can move in the pocket and isn’t afraid to take a hit anymore! Little Eli is all grown up!!! AND THE BEST QB ON EARTH!!!!

That game was un-fucking believable almost EXACTLY like the last Super Bowl, nay, the last two times these two teams faced each other. The Giants always score with less than a minute to play. AWESOME.

Also, being one who keeps heavy tabs on the Hartford Whalers, I know someone (sort of) who ran into Bettman (NHL Commish) at the Super Bowl, and he queried about when Hartford would get an NHL team back. His answer: When the arena in Hartford improves.

XL CENTER RENOVATION PLANS IN THE WORKS WHAT!? WHALER WATCH!!!

Fairy Tail: Took Me Long Enough; Boy Am I Dumb

There was a time when I first heard of Fairy Tail.

“What a dumb looking show,” I thought, ” But, Rie Kugimiya has a main role, so I will watch it…..wait a second….she’s voicing a cat? So is she just going to make ‘nyan’ noises the whole time? What a waste! What a dumb looking show.”

God, how stupid I was. Stupid as hell. As IF they would cast the great Rie Kugimiya and limit her to making Nyan sounds. how idiotic can I get? The main character looked a lot like Luffy from One Piece (in fact, all of the art did, despite the fact that both manga are written by complete different people). For some reason, this threw me off…..again.

The art in One Piece made me not want to watch One Piece. Finally, I watched it. Now it’s one of my favorite anime ever.

The art in Fairy Tail made me not want to watch Fairy Tail (though not as much as One Piece). The name “Fairy Tail” also had something to do with it. And the fact that one of the main characters was a cute cat (kind of childish). Finally, I watched it.

And so Fairy Tail is pretty good. Yeah it’s a bit childish, kind of your typical shonen, but it’s entertaining, has a good cast and good characters, and so far, (11 episodes) I like it. I’ve heard a couple people kind of poop on it, and I’ve heard other people absolutely praise the shit out of it, and for me I think it’s closer to the praise side, for one reason only:

Rie Kugimiya make me soooo Happy.

I expected to hate her performance in this anime. I did not look forward to it at all.

“She’s voicing a cat? Why did she have to be in this show I really don’t want to watch it.” – were my thoughts initially.

But once again, she shows me why she’s my favorite seiyuu. Happy is arguably her funniest character, aside from Kagura.

Why?

Here’s why: Kagura is kind of…..out there. She says things that sometimes have no relation to the subject at hand. To me, she epitomizes the humor of Gintama in her character. Her character is always serious, but still says things that completely contradict her general mood.

Happy is similar. Happy is…for lack of a better word….completely spontaneous, unfocused (like has ADD), forgetful, and fucking retarded in such a great way that whenever he’s got lines, it’s the best part of the show. For example (not the best of examples though):

One second, Happy is all in, not gonna give up, then, two seconds later, happy gives up. As I said, not a good example, but trust me, Happy makes this show awesome. I feel like even kluxorious, who doesn’t really like Rie Kugimiya cuz she’s not smart like that, would like Rie Kugimiya in this role. Of course, her life is far too crazy right now…

Fairy Tail = I like it!

Extra Shit:

As you may have seen, my post count has gone down again, that’s because I’ve been spending all my time watching anime too many shows.

mORE SUTFF: I finnaly startded watching arrested developnment and it’s awesome. im’m aslo a litle drunk and at home alone woweo I’m  a loser or what ehwnever.