Why Yuri Is So Fucking Awesome

I’ve realized it. I’ve discovered within myself truths of the world, her secrets, her mysteries, and her innermost desires. Yes, dear readers, I’ve realized why yuri is so fucking awesome.

Poll at the bottom! Cheers for the first yuri binge of 2012!

Take a gander at my character list (a list that needs an update in the same way that Girlfriends needs an anime adaptation). What do you see about the characters I’ve listed there? Instead of giving you time to look through that massive list, I’m just going to tell you.

At least 80% of my favorite characters from the shows I’ve watched are female. (complete guess since I was also too lazy to look through that massive list and do the math).

NOTE: I did a rough estimate and found that out of about 200 shows, 42 were male, and the rest were female (and one was a frog from Negima, didn’t count that).

Anyway, that’s no coincidence. I tend to almost always lean toward the female character in a show. I don’t know why but I always have. Of course, if the show has a pretty bad ass male lead like sayyy the show Berserk….wait a second, no I chose Caska for that one. Okay, bad example. Take a show like Baccano! That show had enough awesome female characters that you could take all of those awesome female characters and fill an empty void with awesome female characters. Basically, what I’m saying is Baccano had a lot of awesome female characters. But who is more bad ass and awesome than Rail Tracer? Answer? Only me, and I wan’t in Baccano!

So why are female characters better? And when am I actually going to talk about the title’s subject matter? I’ll answer the first question first:

Male characters are, for the most part, boring and dull. Sex sells and females are sex and thus more time seems to be spent developing the female characters (or maybe I just made that bit of logic up). That’s just an opinion and it’s probably wrong, but I don’t see many female otaku when compared to male otaku (technically, I see no otaku), so whatever.

That being said here are some things that Yuri contains, that happen to be of my favorite things any manga/anime could possible contain:

Holy shit. I can link each one of those to something I’ve written. Everything comes full circle once again. Glothelegend, you sir, are a legend (well….duh? DURRRRR).

Anyway, to embelish:

Lesbians

This….why did I even include this? Obviously lesbian manga/anime is going to include lesbians. But there it is. I love when lesbians will randomly pop up in a normal anime. Even Kanamemo, for all of it’s supreme crappiness, easily one of my top 3 most hated shows ever, contained lesbians, and they were the only bright spot of the show (besides Rie Kugimiya). Though to be honest, the writers kind of ran those two lesbos into the ground and made them annoying as hell by the end.

Now for the million dollar question: What’s so great about lesbians?

This stumps me. Is it the fact that 2 girls are better than one? Is it because female characters are always better than male characters, so when you replace a male character with another female character you get SMASH AWESOME? Is it because two girls together is hot/cute/makesyourheadfillwithcottoncandy?

The answer is yes, now let’s move on.

Girls With Glasses

Oh I have preached and preached about girls with glasses. Currently I have a crush on a girl with thick framed glasses in real life. She’s a babe too. The things I would do to her large breasts and shaply body…

Anyway, glasses. I like them on most girls. Not on ugly ones though. Fortunately, there’s really no such thing as ugly girls in manga, unless they were meant to actually be ugly (and then they’re REALLY fucking ugly…in a funny, comedic relief way though)

Girls Who Cry

I must me mean but I love to see a girl cry. If I had a girlfriend who started crying I would be happy and then grab her and throw her off a building hug her warmly in order to soothe her wounded soul before taking advantage of her emotional state and fucking the literal shit out of her asshole.

I like girls who cry they’re pretty cute.

BAM Moments

OHHHH HELL YES. I was reading Sasameki Koto today (now fully caught up) And there’s that moment.

You know the moment.

The moment when the girl has FINALLY fallen in love with the protagonist but is afraid to confess because she thinks that the protagonist thinks of her as just a really good friend and she doesn’t want to mess up their friendship so she never confesses but then learns “Oh wait a second this bitch loves me back!”? You know that moment? It’s this moment:

Extreme Sasameki Koto BAM Moment Spoiler

I WILL DO A FUCKING DANCE AROUND MY ROOM EVERY TIME I READ THAT PAGE (and the one afterward).

All good yuri….well that’s a lie….the two best yuri I’ve read, Girlfriends and Sasameki Koto, follow very similar plots (uhh….spoilers):

Two best friends. Friend A falls in love with friend B but never tells her because she doesn’t think that friend A will feel the same way about her and she doesn’t want to lose the friendship. Later, friend B FINALLY realizes that she loves friend A, but feels the same as friend A, so they’re both kind of in the same situation (retarded) until one of them, usually friend B, realizes that friend A actually has feelings for her, and then the end is in visible sight.

SO AWESOME.

And that, fellow fuckheads, is why Yuri is awesome. There’s just something vastly improved when love is found between two girls. I think I missed/forgot two other reasons why yuri is awesome….at least two….I had more yesterday fuck I should’ve written them down….

Sasameki Koto and Girlfriends need anime adaptations (though Sasameki Koto just needs a continuation). Here’s that poll I was talking about…

Why the fuck is the poll red!? I wanted it white. Fuck this shit RED POLL BITCHES!!

43 thoughts on “Why Yuri Is So Fucking Awesome

  1. I flipping love yuri too! You should check out some of my stories on fictionpress.com! They have yuri vibes but I’m not brave enough to make a full yuri yet! My current series is Melancholy Summers! I might make a lesbian character in the next MS novel… Idk I need some encouragement lol.

    • If you “flipping love yuri” as you claim, then you would make every single one of your stories about lesbians going through a slow process that leads up to both of them eventually realizing their love for each other in an explosive BAM Moment, then culminating their love in a sexual lust against the wishes and common beliefs of society!

      THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF YURI!

  2. I still haven’t actually watched any yuri…or read any. i should do that. I mean, I like lesbians. I like women in general, which is probably why I’ve dated them before. So yeah, I should do that sometime.

  3. I wish yuri had better plots though. Yaoi and shonen-ai have all the best plots and I refuse to watch them because that shit scares me. Yuri is usually scary in a different way. But I have watched some before. The manga is pretty good. Shoujo Sect, for example, has great art.

    • I’ve been reading Octave. So far I’m on volume 2 somewhere I forget really I get sidetracked a LOT.

      Read Clover a while ago and liked it a lot I think. (I mean, what yuri DON’T I like a lot? [Gunjo])

      I’ve read I think everything Amano Shunita has to offer EXPLOSION.

  4. Definitely Girl Friends needs an anime adaptation. That is one of the most iconic and best yuri manga of recent. Other than that, I’d also love to see Gokujou animated, but that’s probably a long shot. Anyway, yes, yuri is pretty lovely~

  5. The only thing I can’t stand is yuri with ugly girls. It displeases my dick.

    You should watch Aoi Hana. All they do is cry. (Fair warning: It sucks.)

    Bonus question: figure out which of the above opinions got me banned from commenting at Gar Gar Stegosaurus.

  6. To quote myself from 2006, ” Well, yea, because on one hand it’s about lesbians… hot. But on the other hand, it’s about women…. not. And I like a bit more penetration in my series…”

    And yes, I do log all my quips that I find enjoyable.

  7. I personally liked the Sono Hanabira OVA more than the Shoujo Sect trilogy but that’s just me.

    Interesting view from an angry Nation member (At least I think this post qualifies you as a member). I see your heart’s in the right place and your naughtiness is strong enough to “you know what”.

    I made a top 10 list of yuri manga that should be animefied but my #1 will always be Octave. Seriously if that manga gets green lit for an anime adaptation, many annoying squees, Daniel Bryan-esque “YES!”es will be heard across the island I’m from.

    I’m guessing I’m the only person in the blogosphere who doesn’t find girls bullied into crying (Curse you Muginami for bullying Lan after the ghost house incident) cute. As for those who cry out of love, it’s more touching than adorable but is there a difference between touching and adorable? Nah.

    • Never heard of Sono Hanabira. Must be hentai, because otherwise I’d have watched it twice (I don’t watch hentai really).

      I refuse to join the nation (I assume you mean yuri nation?) because they’re not hardcore enough. Likewise, I have no idea what you mean by “you know what.” I’m dumb you can’t be leaving me riddles like that I won’t get it.

      I’ve read Octave like 304 times and I still forget it every time until I go back and read the first chapter. In fact, I JUST DID THIS AGAIN. To be honest, I haven’t gotten to far in this one. I always end up forgetting about it, then going back to read it, and for some reason I keep re-reading the same fucking chapter, and then I stop because I always end up reading it when I’m really really tired like I am now and then I’m just like “fuck it I’m going to sleep I gotta get up at 5.”

      I don’t really like girls getting bullied into crying. That’s kinda dumb.

      What I like is the depressed, sad, hopeless/recently dumped crying girl. Like when a girl thinks that her feelings won’t be returned or that she was dumped when she really wasn’t (or was). A girl crying when she’s legit sad (though happy works too). Now THAT is awesome.

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