There Will Be Blood – Huge Piece of Shit

Wow. Just….wow.

I would have much rather watched fire exploding from the ground than this heaping pile of shit movie. Fuck I’d rather watch a candle burn for 3 hours.

I bought this movie a while back because FYE had a buy 2 movies get one free deal, and each movie was like 3 bucks. I bought a shit ton of movies, and I really wanted to see this “CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED MASTERPIECE BEST MOVIE IN THE DECADE.”

What the f-

People are fucking retarded. It’s now a fact. This movie had one good thing, and that was Daniel Day Lewis’s acting. Everything else was a giant waste of time.

I could tell you the plot, but if you have the misfortune to ever watch this movie, then you’ll quickly realize that the plot is irrelevant. It’s the early 1900’s. A dude drills for oil. A Jesus freak doesn’t like it. The man becomes a drunk later on.

That’s not just the plot, but also a perfect description of everything important that happens in the movie. The movie itself is pretty much just pictures of desert, oil, and Daniel Day Lewis’s mustache.

He knows.

I’d say that there are more words in this post (200) so far than in the entire 2 and a half hour shit-fuck (felt more like 4 hours). Very little dialogue. Very little interest.

“Well, you just don’t understand the meaning of the movie.”

Meaning? The movie was about: Man drills oil. Accumulates money and alcohol at any cost. Becomes a drunk.

“No, like the good vs evil.”

You twat. Do you mean the whole “Jesus Freak vs Oil Man” conflict? How two people who each share an obsessive passion fare in the world when each person has separate views on how to act?

“Yeah I guess.”

Yeah all that shit was boring too. This movie should go fuck itself in the asshole and stop pretending to be soooooo great. This movie probably wakes up and jerks off to picture of itself before starting it’s day. This movie is an arrogant piece of shit. This movie thinks that it’s asshole smells like fresh cookies. Likewise, anyone who sucks this movies dick needs to take a good, hard look at himself and realize that he’s a pretentious asshole who should be raped by 1000 demons (I say himself, but this applies to women to. Equal rights and all of that).

There Will Be Blood was boring and it sucked no matter how you look at it. The only thing that saved this movie grade was was Daniel Day Lewis being awesome in that milkshake scene.

In case you watched that. You will realize that it was not a video of Daniel Day Lewis, but a reenactment of the scene by Brandon Haresty which is 32048585 times more entertaining than the actual movie.

FINAL GRADE = FUCKING SHIT (1)

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16 thoughts on “There Will Be Blood – Huge Piece of Shit

  1. I’ve never bothered to watch There Will Be Blood, even though it’s been in my house for about five years now. And I guess at this point I never will 😀

  2. It doesn’t matter how smart or intellectual you are this movie is completely terrible. I’m glad I’m not such a dumb sheep as to convince myself this boring pile of ass is brilliant filmmaking. It’s infuriatingly awful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more boring film. Truly you said it best – this movie can go fuck itself.

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