Mi Amor Maria

I have been watching anime this week! It’s amazing! Specifically, I’ve been watching an odd combo of Finishing Fate/Zero (yeah, I’m that far behind), and watching the new season of Hayate (yeah, I’m actually watching it). So, with those two critical bits of information given to you, along with the learned knowledge that readers should already know about me, you can probably guess what the title means. Just in case you’re an idiot who HASN’T been following/stalking me from the beginning, here’s a hint: This post has nothing to do with Fate/Zero at all.

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GOOD FUCKING CHOICE. No, ONLY fucking choice.

This is just one more reason why Maria is one of the best female characters ever, who deserves to be my wife. (on the note of the wife article I wrote…did I REALLY say no to Rukia???? I WROTE A WHOLE FUCKING POST ABOUT HER [still being written actually]).

Anyway, to prove that my bias is not without reason, I demonstrate the above two photo’s as proof that Maria is the best, and filled with only spectacular judgment. Let’s fuck.

Strawberry milkshakes are LITERALLY the ONLY type of milkshake I will drink. What am I, a huge, bleeding pussy? NO. I just have really really good taste. What’s that? You’d rather have a vanilla milkshake? A chocolate milkshake? Okay, let me ruin your ideology of milkshakes right there. Vanilla is boring as fuck. Don’t deny it, you know it to be true. And speaking of overrated pieces of shit, there’s chocolate. Everyone jumps on the chocolate bandwagon, and they’re so sucked in that they can’t realize that chocolate tastes like fucking cardboard.

It’s not a lie. I’m not hating on chocolate. I love chocolate, just not chocolate flavored shit like ice cream. Here’s a list of shitty chocolate shit:

  • Ice Cream
  • Milkshakes
  • Yoohoo
  • Chocolate Syrup (yeah. that’s right, it’s shit, unless mixed with milk).
  • Nesquik (who really likes the taste of sand and milk? Not me.)
  • Holy shit, what else is chocolate flavored without being actual chocolate?
  • A rare anomoly, chocolate tootsie pops are the only good tootsie pops. I actually like tootsie rolls too. Again, a rare anomoly.

The fact is, all chocolate FLAVORED items (well, most of them), are SHIT. TASTE THEM AND LEARN!

That’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about anything. -Peter Griffin

I took a good 1.5 liters of wine to the face before this post.

Where was I? JUST KIDDING, I KNOW WHERE I WAS. FUCK YOU!

Maria, her judgements are sound and never wrong. Why? They all agree with my judgements. I wish I could meet this girl in real life and marry her right now. But I can’t so I’ll watch Hayate, WHICH IS NOT BAD! (I’ve been drunk for every episode so maybe that has something to do with it?)

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Okay Bye Bye.

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10 thoughts on “Mi Amor Maria

  1. So basically you aren’t retired, more like, a phase. So you like Strawberry Milkshake best eh? Good choice, as it’s the only flavor that legitimately tastes good. Vanilla isn’t bad but chocolate can go “you know what”. Then again, chocolate is better eaten than drunk.

  2. Why are you so wrong about everything except some things but mostly wrong about everything in this post?

    I can only imagine you’ve had low quality products, otherwise you have some sort of gigantic tumor that inhibits your ability to taste chocolate correctly. And vanilla is good as long as it’s a high quality product, using good vanilla, but most fast food/restaurant shit is shit. Have you had hand churned mexican vanilla ice cream before? DIDN’T THINK SO, BITCH!

    Chocolate ice cream is delicious. What are you buying, Breyer’s or something?
    Chocolate milkshakes are delicious. What are you buying, milkshakes from a hobo’s tent?
    Yoohoo is gross.
    Chocolate Syrup is gross, especially with milk.
    Nesquik is gross.
    If something has cocoa powder in it, it’s actual chocolate, slut! And cocoa was originally used as a drink by the golden ancient peoples, so suck on it! Suck on it in your asshole!
    Chocolate tootsie pops are disgusting. So are tootsie rolls. They don’t taste like chocolate, they taste like some sort of horrible tumor. The tumor that is in your brain that makes you wrong about everything. I bet you like Hershey’s or some shit, too! GET SOME FUCKING BELGIAN CHOCOLATE POUND PLUS FROM TRADER JOE’S AND LEARN, BITCH!
    And get Julie’s Organic Chocolate Covered Chocolate Ice Cream Bars.
    You’ll be sorrier than anyone has ever been about anything.

    That said, I like strawberry milkshakes and strawberry ice cream and strawberry milk and all other strawberry flavored things.

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