I Can’t Tell What’s Worse: Ke$ha, or People Who Like Ke$ha.

It used to be that Paris Hilton was my least favorite person ever, but then she showed off her great taste in music, and Ke$ha simultaneously made her grand debut into the world of shitty skanks that suck. Since then I have changed my mind and no longer view Paris Hilton (who is still a skank) as my most hated person. I now see Ke$ha as the root of all things evil, skanky, and completely useless; and I’m amazed at how she still is able to sell her shitty “songs” and making a living from her no talent voice.

She's the type of women you wish Chris Brown would date. You know...so he could beat her.

She’s the type of women you wish Chris Brown would date. You know…so he could beat her.

It amazes me. AMAZES me that she can even manage to sell one song on itunes. Do people even look or listen to what they buy anymore?

  • She’s ugly.
  • She’s a clear whore. and what’s worse, she doesn’t think she is (when she clearly is).
  • She can’t sing for SHIT.
  • ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING GLITTER.

Here’s a video that demonstrates all of this.

How does her stuck-up-I’m-a-fucking-bratty-bitch-whore-who-only-wants-dicks voice NOT make you want to punch a hole through your wall, television, or grandmother? When students come up to me and tell me that they like Ke$ha, I try as hard as I can to fight the urge to throw them through the wall, with varying results. And if I were actually that student’s teacher I would call home and let their parents know that their child is deeply disturbed, and would recommend that they be separated from the rest of the normal students. I can’t even imagine what goes through a parent’s head if they were to learn that their child actually listens to Ke$ha.

I’d rather have a child who was a serial killer than a child who likes Ke$ha.

I’d rather have a child who jerks off in front of the neighbors window on regular basis and a child who likes Ke$ha.

I’d rather have a dead child-

Well okay maybe not that last one but you get the idea.

Yet, despite the obvious fact that there is not one good thing about Ke$ha, somehow people still listen to her. Which leads me to ask if it’s really Ke$ha who should be hated, or her fans (which she somehow has).

Ke$ha’s $hitty Fan$

10 parents are crying/have killed themselves.

10 parents are crying/have killed themselves.

$ee what I did there? I put dollar signs where [most] of the s’s were in the title. HOW IMAGINATIVE. I’M SO FUCKING IMAGINATIVE.

That last part was sarcasm. Chances are, a lot of Ke$ha fans are going to accidentally stumble onto this post and read it, so I figured I should explain the sarcasm since they’re most likely too brain-dead to get it.

Can I really blame Ke$ha for cashing in on her “talent?” Let’s be real, if I sucked at singing, and was good at sucking dicks, I’m sure I could use one or both of those skills to cash in on an opportunity to get heaps of money, so why should I be mad at Ke$ha for doing the same?

Well, to her non-credit, if I were her, I’d probably rather die then have to listen to my own shitty voice on the radio and be reminded that I’m only good at sucking cock after cock after cock after cock, leaving a faint trail of glitter in my wake in order to make music about sucking cock after cock after cock after cock, leaving a faint trail of glitter in my wake. But then again, she’s a whore, so she doesn’t have things like pride or knowledge.

But the retarded fans, who are all fucking morons, somehow find her “OH HEY I’M A STUCK UP WHORE AND I KNOW IT” voice to be somehow good. Like, they actually like the way that the whore sounds.

Why do they feed the whore’s ego? The whore should be put down. STOP LISTENING TO THE WHORE.

Nothing pisses me off more than when I’m driving and a good song ends and then Ke$ha comes on. Do have any idea how many times I’ve almost crashed my car either by accident because of Ke$ha’s annoying voice coming on, or on purpose because of Ke$ha’s annoying voice coming on!? I couldn’t tell you, because I’ve stopped listening to the radio.

And look at what she’s inspiring young children to do:

  • Wear too much glitter (I HATE glitter…gets everywhere and then you can’t get it off look like a stripper all day).
  • Dress like whores.
  • Act like whore.
  • BECOME WHORES.

And I’m being serious. Elementary school girls are listening ..wait let me repeat that… ELEMENTARY SCHOOL GIRLS are listening to her songs where she pretends to sing about dicks and getting hammered all the time, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT? STOP TELLING 6-YEAR OLDS ABOUT HOW SUCKING DOWN A DICK WITH A BOTTLE OF BOOZE IS A GREAT WAY OF LIFE! WHORE!

Singing doesn’t even matter for her fans, as long as they’re good at being whores.

tl;dr: Ke$ha – Skank who can’t sing, wears too much glitter, looks like a mutated stripper, and is destroying society. Her fans are the reason why she is able to do this.

So. Who needs to be put down?

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17 thoughts on “I Can’t Tell What’s Worse: Ke$ha, or People Who Like Ke$ha.

    • No the moral is that Ke$ha is a fucking slut who influences young children into performing slutty acts at young ages, PLUS she’s an ugly, glitter covered skank with NOOOOOO SINGING TALENT AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL (she’s a skanky whore).

      • I don’t see what makes her so different from all the other…no wait, she has no talent. Unlike Bieber and Gaga (some examples) who are talented musicians who are forced to tone down their true abilities and being used to turn tweens into brain dead zombies, Ke$ha’s a talentless hack.

      • The voices are different. As in, Gaga can actually sing a song and play piano and has a very artistic approach. Beiber is slowly becoming a Timberlake type of singer in that he’s not a a little boy who resembles a little girl anymore. Ke$ha on the other hand just slathers herself in glitter like some sort of stripp- wait not even strippers dress more professionally than she does… and since she can’t sing for shit, she just douses all of her music in autotune to hide her exceptionally shitty vocals. If she stopped dressing like a whore and “singing/saying/doing whatever in her whiney bratty voice” about dicks and drinks, then I would maybe find her less annoying, but there’s a big difference between her and anyone else.

  1. Oh, god, Ke$ha. I… I don’t even know where to begin with this girl. I know she was a song writer at one point, and then she decided to make a name for herself. You might like Todd in the Shadows’ reviews of Ke$ha’s material.

  2. “Leaving a faint trail of glitter in my wake in order to make music about sucking cock after cock after cock after cock, leaving a faint trail of glitter in my wake.” THE LOLS I HAD. Oh god this made my first week of school. TEARS poured from my eyes like a raging inferno of feels, man. MY FEELS.

    • I had tears pouring from my eyes and blood from my ears when I went to the gym two nights ago and they were playing Kesha on the God damn music box or whatever the term is these days.

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