According to Anime Part 1… Guys Eating Girls’ Shit (err, food)

As someone who is running out of post ideas and looking for a way to stay relevant sort of, I’m going to point out things that other people most CERTAINLY have already pointed out before. The first part involves girls, boys, food, love, and how they all relate exactly the same way in every anime/manga ever made.

Exhibit A: Girls Suck Ass At Cooking

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Pretty girls almost always suck at cooking, even more so if they are the male protagonists love interest. Akane from Ranma 1/2 stands out the most for me in this category, as she couldn’t cook for shit. Nagi from Hayate could burn water. Asuna from Negima sucks. One anomaly is Kagome from InuYasha, but she’s awesome so that’s fine. Still, there’s a huge fucking list I found on Crunchyroll and I’m sure they missed a bunch of people too.

For the record, that list isn’t what inspired this post. No, the inspiration for this post came when I was reading Maga-Tsuki, which is a fairly good manga that is about some Goddess (who also can’t cook), a kid, and that kid’s love interest (who sucks at cooking too). For the record, all of the pictures are from this manga.

So yeah, all female characters, for the most part, suck at cooking. Totally true in real life too.

Exhibit B: No Matter How Bad the Cooking is, the Man Will Eat It

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It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how shitty the food it, the man will still eat it and pretend to enjoy it.

Why?

If some girl made me some shitty ass food I’ll tell her that it sucked, and then cook her a 5 course meal that would get her wet in her lady-hole. Yes, I just said Lady-Hole. Yes, I know that sounds really dumb. Guess what? Still said it.

The fact is that she’s not gonna get any better at cooking if you praise her for cooking shitty food. If construction workers were told that they did a great job finishing a building even though the whole thing was ready to collapse, then we’d all be fucked. Clearly, male protagonists are against women learning to cook, because then they can still be superior at something (more on that another day). What’s the result?

Exhibit C: The Girl Tries Her Food, Realizes She Sucks, And Loves the Guy for Lying to Her

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A relationship is built on trust, right? So why the fuck would you fall in love with someone who just lied to your face before being hospitalized by your cooking?

You almost killed this person with your food. What you should be doing is getting ready to suck  some dick, because you already proved to this guy that you can’t cook. If a women shows me that she can’t cook it’s fine, because I like to cook and I could probably cook her under a table anyway. But to a normal man, a woman who can’t cook is a big put off for some reason, and you just showed one hell of a put off. Better show him you can still suck a good dick.

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Okay bye bye!

PS: Count my spelling and grammar errors, as I’m sure there’s many. Closest answer wins (for pride).

NOTE: The big sister in this manga is awesome, like all of those characters always are.

7 thoughts on “According to Anime Part 1… Guys Eating Girls’ Shit (err, food)

  1. The guy’s going to end up in the hospital anyway if he tells the girl she sucks at cooking. He may as well get some pussy for his trouble.

    I won’t bother counting and guess 20 errors.

  2. My fiance and I usually go out to eat, which kind of ends up with the same result. He asks me to pick out something “new” for him to try, and he always ends up hating it. I just stick to buying steaks now.

  3. It’s funny because every Japanese woman knows how to cook! Their entire purpose in life is to be a housewife. How can a Japanese girl NOT know how to cook?! HOW RIDICULOUS!

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