Batting Female Doctor Saori – Unarguably Badass

A manga about a hot ass doctor who cures patients by belting them with a metal bat. Does it make any sense? No, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not fucking awesome and bad-ass as all fuck.

Let me hit you once

Meet Saori. She is awesome. Basically, when something is broken or sick, she beats the hell out of it with a bat and by some miracle, the devices/people/things are repaired/healed/fixed. Some of her banter reminds of the witty, charismatic dialogue from the hit manga Choku! (example below)
choku-2761007

Back to the brilliance of Batting Female Doctor Saori. It is of my opinion that any manga featuring a female main character who beats on things without mercy, care, or self awareness turn out pretty damn good. This theory is supported once again with Batting Female Doctor Saori. She is a beauty who can cure literally any illness, from a dislocated jaw, to a person’s personality, to a hikikimori.

e14_15

Okay, enough pictures. A few more characters show up and the medical cases always have some zany weird shit going on. A good, short read so go fucking read it.

What is the Best Anime Since 2013?

At first I debated adding two question marks, or maybe even three question marks to the end of the title to really catch the eye.

But then I didn’t.

So anyway, just like the cat in The Cat Returns, I, Glothelegend, am returning, ready to vomit the hairballs which are my posts all over the internet, creating incredible amounts of vigorous apathy among people who may or may not know me.

Being gone for so long, I have no idea what anime even came out this past year or two, much less what is good, and I need help.

BIG TIME.

I now live with two of these fuckers and 3 other girls. Fucking HAIR ALL OVER THE GOD DAMN PLACE. DON'T DO IT.

I now live with two of these fuckers and 3 other girls. Fucking HAIR ALL OVER THE GOD DAMN PLACE. DON’T DO IT.

I’m looking for a few titles that really blasted the other titles. The cream of the crop. The big cheese. The cherry on top. The foam inside the vagina (that’s a saying right?)

I need a recommendation.

However, please know that I do have certain tastes. If you recommend me some crappy shoujo, I’m going to get annoyed and then do nothing about it anyway, so don’t recommend me some crappy shoujo. Here are some things that I consider to be a ‘plus’ in a given anime episode:

  • Girls who kick fucking ASS (I saw Kill la Kill [rather, I am halfway through, and it’s awesome])
  • Weird characters who don’t suck.
  • Rie Kugimiya (I’ve seen Kyousogiga or whatever it’s called [rather, I am halfway through, and it’s awesome])
  • Zany ass Shit (see above)
  • Powers and people with Powers
  • Emotionalesss female characters who manage to be funny due to their lack of emotion (I saw Neko Hentai thingy, rather, I am halfway through, and it’s awesome]).

Wow I have a lot of half finished shit. Maybe I should watch those…

Anyway, help a guy out. Manga is fine too, but I’d rather find my own manga. THRILL OF THE CHASE.

Orange Marmalade (The Manhwa)

Okay so I recently touched on how I… of all people… have been crushing some shoujo manga of late. One of the titles of shoujo that I’ve been crushing isn’t a manga at all, but a manhwa by the name of Orange Marmalade.

This is not the Orange Marmalade that I was referring to.

This is not the Orange Marmalade that I was referring to.

Better.

Better.

Manhwa, for those of you who don’t know, is literally exactly like manga, except it’s from Korea, and it’s read left to right, a fact that left me very very confused the first time I read Manhwa.

Orange Marmalade was a title I saw a while back. I read the synopsis, decided it was bullshit, and never touched it again, letting its memory disappear completely from my brain. Years later, I randomly selected it, thinking that I had never checked it out before. It’s a good thing I didn’t read the synopsis again, because otherwise I wouldn’t have read it again, because the plot outlines all of the basic things I hate about everything in this day and age:

Misunderstood Vampires

Remember when vampires were fucking badass, and were killing Nazi vampires and zombies and shit in Hellsing, or getting their asses handed to them by Saya in Blood+? Yeah, I know. It seems like 40 hundred thousand years ago. Twilight and all that stupid shit forever made vampires misunderstood emo kids who sparkle or some shit. I’m not really sure because I’ve never seen Twilight, but it looks fucking retarded so there you go.

So what sets this emo vampire shit apart from other, shitty emo vampire shit? A few things:

1. The Vampire is a Girl

Vamp

When a guy is acting emo, it’s just fucking stupid. Nobody likes to see a whiny, depressed, “the world doesn’t understand me” type of dude. Bro, you’re supposed to be the strong guy who sucked it up and provides for the girl. That’s what men have been doing since the stone age. The thing is, nobody cares if a girl is all depressed and shit, because girls are all like that normally, so to have a girl be a vampire really doesn’t change much other than the fact that, okay, she needs blood. In this story, vampires are pretty much common place, except they’re treated like shit by humans. Totally discriminated against. So Ma Ri doesn’t want anyone to find out she’s a blood sucker, or her whole family will be forced to move. Also, and I might be in the minority here, but emo girls are fucking hot. And awesome. Especially when they…

2. The Girl Eventually Breaks Down and Cries

cry

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The crying girl is awesome. I love it for some reason, and I don’t know why. In this story, the main character, Ma Ri, is pretty solidly built and as a result, she can take a lot of shit and not get too emotional. So when she FINALLY breaks down… well… it was a BAM moment.

God I’m a fuckup.

3. Comedy Gold

Kids a vampire. Eats mice for some reason. Still gets a girlfriend in fucking kindergarten are you kidding me.

Kids a vampire. Eats mice for some reason. Still gets a girlfriend in fucking kindergarten are you kidding me.

The comedy really is on another level here compared to most shitty shoujo. The facial expression create visual comedy that never gets old. And the characters do the rest, whether that means seeing our reserved Ma Ri randomly chase some girls with a garbage can, or seeing the fat kid struggle to lose a measly 2 kg so he can date the girl who looks like a dude anyway.

4. Great Art

Look at those LIPS!

Look at those LIPS!

I already touched on the awesome expressions and changes in character design (normal drawing vs chibi drawings) that make this manhwa awesome. Another awesome thing that separates this shoujo from others that very artistic style. At no point do we see shitty sparkles, crappy bubbles, and spikey hair being used to cover up an equally or extensively shittier storyline, as most shoujo manga admittedly contain. This is a webcomic, so it’s all smooth, vibrant, and IN FUCKING COLOR.

I never realized how much I love color on every single page until I went back to reading a normal manga after I had just read a bunch of Girls the Wild and then blasted my way through 100+ chapters of Orange Marmalade. I was used to color. Then I read some black and white. Black and white, I realized, sucks.

So there you have it. Four things that make this shoujo better than other shoujos. This fucking shit right here is awesome as fuck. Go ahead, shut the fuck up, read this shit, and thank God that you stumbled on this fucking post because I just made your life awesome and livable again.

I’ve Been Reading….SHOUJO!?!?!?!? WTF!?!?!?!?

Okay so I’ve come to realize something about me lately. I kind of like shoujo manga. Hear me out.

Orange Marmalade has awesome, non-sparkly or stupid art, great character art, and it's a webcomic so it's all in color. BAM.

Orange Marmalade has awesome, non-sparkly or stupid art, great character art, and it’s a webcomic so it’s all in color. BAM.

So shoujo manga for the most part has a ton of flaws.

But a good shoujo features a lot of pretty awesome things that I like.

  • Characters turning into Chibi characters with crazy expressions.
  • Romances that you want to see happen and it just keeps you on edge until it happens and then you go BAM.
  • Girls breaking down emotionally and finally crying. (more points if it’s in front of someone who just yelled at them because now that person feels like an asshole).

A good shoujo, one that really gets the comedy… well… I’ll totally read that shit all day and night. The other night I stayed up until like….3 AM reading a shoujo Manhwa that was fucking awesome. The name? Orange Marmalade. It’s got literally all of the good things and zero of the bad things. It is borderline perfect.

I know! Let’s talk about it!

Next time….

;)

Shiro Ari – Alice in Wonderland + Snow White + Every Fairy Tall Ever + Skanks + Sadism

I totally posted something last month. Once. Time to step up my game I’d say. I should at least change the polls like I said I would. Oh well. Here’s a manga update since manga is all I have time for. For a change, there will be NO PICTURES.

Except one I guess.

bsnow_white_and_alice_v001_001_frontcover

You are one crazy lookin bitch.

Shiro Ari is a manga I picked up a little while ago and thought nothing of it. It was okay. I don’t know how I felt about the art, as it sort of confused me at first. Once I realized that it wasn’t all that confusing though, I started reading it, and I’ve begun to like it more and more as I read. Why?

It’s starts off with Snow White, a girl with white hair and red eyes. Animals love her, and everyone else…

Totally hates her.

Yes that’s right, unlike the Snow White of fairy tales that you’re accustomed to, everybody hates Snow White, so throw away everything about Snow White…..actually, throw away everything you know about all fairy tales, because they’re all about to become intertwined and changed in a crazy nutjob of a manga.

Snow White lives with her evil stepmother. Her only friend is Mirror (the mirror on the wall). When he tells Snow White’s stepmother that she isn’t the fairest of all, but in fact a huge bitch, she gets pissed off. Mirror decides that it would be a good idea for Snow White to lay low for a bit, so he throws her into a country called Mirror, which is like a crazy Alice in Wonderland kind of shit. She meets Alice, and Mirror tells her that in order to come back to the real world, she must make Alice king

Oh I should mention that Alice is a dude, and after pretending to be nice to Alice at first, he then doesn’t hesitate to call her a skank and a bitch for the rest of the manga. Yup, this manga is awesome.

So there’s allllllll sorts of other Fairy Tales crammed up and twisted in this manga. There’s a trap, a crazy hatter, some really bad-ass hare, a thieving Cheshire cat…….it’s all a fucking awesome crazy thing….. The land of Mirror actually reminds me of the abyss from Pandora Hearts (which ALSO featured an awesome character called Alice).

What counts though is the actual plot of the manga has potential to yield a really good story. I don’t want to say anymore, but the manga is definitely worth a look.

Vulgar Ghost Daydream is Fantastic

Why is is so good?

Is it because the main heroine is a part time S&M Dominatrix who always has some skimpy outfit on when she gets rid of the ghosts? Is it because the mangaka writes the whole Dominatrix thing into the plot really well so that it doesn’t seem like it was just thrown in for sex appeal? Is it because it involves actual mysteries, murder, lying, cheating, revenge, and other themes of death?

The answer is yes.

Ghost Talker's Daydream....Vulgar Ghost Daydream....they're the same manga, but one title sounds infinitely cooler.

Ghost Talker’s Daydream….Vulgar Ghost Daydream….they’re the same manga, but one title sounds infinitely cooler.

Also known as Ghost Talker’s Daydream, Vulgar Ghost Daydream is something I stumbled upon a while ago. I read a few chapters, then sequentially stopped reading manga due to getting a life (why’d I have to go and do that?).

Vulgar Ghost Daydream centers around the virgin albino woman Saiki Misaki who holds down two jobs, none of which she actually enjoys doing. She works as a dominatrix in a BDSM club and as a necromancer for The Livelihood Preservation Group, as she is able to perceive and to communicate with ghosts. Her government job usually entails exorcism.

In a nutshell, Misaki kicks ass, has random sick ass powers, is a hot bitch, and doesn’t really give a fuck about any of it. I should also mention that she has the mouth of a sailor, so that just makes her more badass. I think Revy from Black Lagoon.

Trust me when I say that this is definitely worth a read, maybe even two or five reads. God damn it. Read this now. It may be the best thing you’ve done with your day.

Without giving too much away, I will say this:

Interesting guy she's talking about...

Interesting guy she’s talking about…

It’s absolutely awesome watching a Police Detective take one of her statements when the entire thing is a detailed description of how she lubed up a guy’s asshole and fucked him.

Apparently there’s an OVA too so I’m pretty pumped about this (it’s probably old and will probably suck).

According to Anime Part 1… Guys Eating Girls’ Shit (err, food)

As someone who is running out of post ideas and looking for a way to stay relevant sort of, I’m going to point out things that other people most CERTAINLY have already pointed out before. The first part involves girls, boys, food, love, and how they all relate exactly the same way in every anime/manga ever made.

Exhibit A: Girls Suck Ass At Cooking

ip322

Pretty girls almost always suck at cooking, even more so if they are the male protagonists love interest. Akane from Ranma 1/2 stands out the most for me in this category, as she couldn’t cook for shit. Nagi from Hayate could burn water. Asuna from Negima sucks. One anomaly is Kagome from InuYasha, but she’s awesome so that’s fine. Still, there’s a huge fucking list I found on Crunchyroll and I’m sure they missed a bunch of people too.

For the record, that list isn’t what inspired this post. No, the inspiration for this post came when I was reading Maga-Tsuki, which is a fairly good manga that is about some Goddess (who also can’t cook), a kid, and that kid’s love interest (who sucks at cooking too). For the record, all of the pictures are from this manga.

So yeah, all female characters, for the most part, suck at cooking. Totally true in real life too.

Exhibit B: No Matter How Bad the Cooking is, the Man Will Eat It

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It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how shitty the food it, the man will still eat it and pretend to enjoy it.

Why?

If some girl made me some shitty ass food I’ll tell her that it sucked, and then cook her a 5 course meal that would get her wet in her lady-hole. Yes, I just said Lady-Hole. Yes, I know that sounds really dumb. Guess what? Still said it.

The fact is that she’s not gonna get any better at cooking if you praise her for cooking shitty food. If construction workers were told that they did a great job finishing a building even though the whole thing was ready to collapse, then we’d all be fucked. Clearly, male protagonists are against women learning to cook, because then they can still be superior at something (more on that another day). What’s the result?

Exhibit C: The Girl Tries Her Food, Realizes She Sucks, And Loves the Guy for Lying to Her

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A relationship is built on trust, right? So why the fuck would you fall in love with someone who just lied to your face before being hospitalized by your cooking?

You almost killed this person with your food. What you should be doing is getting ready to suck  some dick, because you already proved to this guy that you can’t cook. If a women shows me that she can’t cook it’s fine, because I like to cook and I could probably cook her under a table anyway. But to a normal man, a woman who can’t cook is a big put off for some reason, and you just showed one hell of a put off. Better show him you can still suck a good dick.

ip324

Okay bye bye!

PS: Count my spelling and grammar errors, as I’m sure there’s many. Closest answer wins (for pride).

NOTE: The big sister in this manga is awesome, like all of those characters always are.