The Rie Quest: Astarotte’s Toy

When I first read the synopsis for Astarotte’s Toy, I thought to myself, “What the fuck is this trash? Is this really a show? Like someone is proud that they created this story, and these characters? Really? I will never watch such a shitty show.”

But then, I saw that Rie Kugimiya was involved, and therefore, going by my vow to watch every show that features Rie, I was forced to pick up this garbage heap.

After the first couple episodes, I was surprised to see that I didn’t really hate the show. At least not as much as I thought I would. I still didn’t like it, but at least it wasn’t as pedophilic (there wasn’t as much fanservice shit in the beginning) as I thought it would be, and it even had some jokes that were halfway decent. Sadly, I forgot all 5 of those jokes because the show was so fucking God-awful.

friend zoned

The girl with the closed eyes and the ears was the best, because she stayed away from the rest of the characters, and at least she was sarcastic and seemed to not give a shit. She at least knew that the show was a joke. I still didn’t bother to remember her name though.

The thing with Astarotte’s Toy was that I had to watch the same shit repeat itself for 11 God Damn Episodes. I swear to God that if Rie Kugimiya wasn’t in this my life would have been so much better. What a waste of my time. It’s a testament to how determined I am that I stuck with this piece of trash. This is what give anime a bad name. This is why people will raise their eyebrows and laugh when you mention that you like anime. It’s shit like this.

So yeah, I had to gouge my eyes out every 5 minutes while watching this show, and then undergo surgical procedures to get my eyes fixed, just so I could watch another 5 minutes, rinse and repeat. What really put it over the line was the cutesy sugar coated bullshit like the animation style and the colors.

God fucking damn it no one cares about this fucking show you’re all fucks.

The appearance of the show makes it seem like it’s trying to appeal to children of the ages of 3-6, but then it’s mixed with all sorts of fanservice bullshit which combines to create a steaming pile of boring episodes, lack of funny moments, and more bullshit. What makes you think I want to see shit like this for literally any amount of time:

shit

And how about that last episode? Have you ever seen something so pointless? No, because none of you even watched the last episode, and that’s because you’re all smart, and didn’t bother with this stupid anime.

An ape could have written a better story.

I will say that I was glad the whole thing about “13 year old girl eats semen” was never even mentioned, except like……once at the beginning, but I will say that the fanservice cute bullshit was just as nauseating. This anime is probably among the worst I’ve seen.

Fuck you for joining up with this anime Rie. Shakugan no Shana better make me blow my fuckin load, because this shit was an embarassment to the human race.

Who wrote this shit? What was he/she thinking when they were writing this? Did they think it was good? HOW WAS THIS ALLOWED TO BECOME ANIMATED!?

I’d rather watch fucking K-On.

FINAL GRADE = 2

Bill is throwing up.