Gintama: Because Who the Hell Needs Doctor Fees?

Have you ever been or had one of the following:

• Vomiting
• Depression
• Diarrhea
• Dizzy
• Raped
• Cancer
• AIDS
• Broken Bone(s)
• Sleep Deprivation
• Really bad ACNE
• Gay
• Not Gay
• Sara Palin
• Ugly
• Sticky
• Alzheimer’s (well, you probably can’t remember if you do or not)
• Amnesia (again, probably can’t remember)
• Lacerations
• Skin Completely torn off
• Head caved in
• Missing bowels
• Heart torn out of body
• Other

Think about this picture and realize how fucking awesome it is.

Did you actually go to the doctor and PAY him to fix you up? You’re SOOOooOOO STUPID! Going to a doctor is POINTLESS. Not only do you have to drive there, you also have to wait forever in a small room with other ailing people, and then when you’re finally called, you have to wait in a DIFFERENT room forever, and then finally the doctor comes in, touches your balls or something, and tell you what’s wrong with you. Then he’ll write some expensive prescriptions or something, and then you have to go get them filled, which costs more money, and then finally drive all the way home. That whole process could take HOURS. But you don’t actually need to do any of that! All you need is a computer, an internet, and a few episodes of Gintama, because not only is Gintama NOT a waste of your time, but it’s one of the most enjoyable things you can do with your time EVER. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! It is a cold, hard FACT that Gintama cures the following ailments and malnormalities:

• Shattered Cunt
• Cancer
• AIDS
• HIV
• All other STDs
• Broken Bones
• Grease or Acid Burns
• Rug Burns
• Botched Surgical Procedures
• Carpel Tunnel
• Torn Asshole (anal fissure)
• Being a Tool
• Stupidity There is no cure for stupidity
• Headaches
• Gintama Deprivation
• Sleep Deprivation
• Deprivation Deprivation
• Bronchitis
• Brontosaurus
• Bron-Bron Going to Miami
• Hoof in Mouth Disease
• Hoof in Ass Disease
• Ass Disease
• Loneliness
• Depression
• Suicidal Thoughts
• Actual Suicide
• Death

It’s pretty much the greatest fucking thing ever. Don’t have a computer? Well fuck it, order some episodes online, you don’t even have to leave your ho-……oh wait you need a computer to order them…….well whatever, you can drive to the mall or nearest anime outlet and it will still be quicker and cheaper than going to Doctor Jackass. Don’t have a tv on which to watch the episodes? Grab the manga! Don’t know how to read? GINTAMA CURES ILLITERACY!!!!! THERE’S SO MANY OPTIONS!!!!

So if you’ve been suffering from anything (except stupidity and Sara Palin), then get some fucking Gintama, because it’s fucking awesome.

(results may vary. consult your doctor before usi-……oh that kinda defeats the purpose of this whole post huh? well, I don’t wanna get sued by some dumbass. seriously though, Gintama rules.)

Why Does Everyone Make a Big Deal About Gintama?

Honestly, this show is stupid. It’s not funny, and it has no real plot. If anything, it’s just an annoying pile of jumbled random shit mixed around in a pot and sprinkled with more shit. This show may have made me lose all hope in anime.

I’m now on episode 30 or 200 and something available episodes. I started watching this ages ago, but it’s so hard to keep going, because the show itself is just so dumb. Before you get on me about this, allow me to take an objective stance:

1. Characters

This is an obvious Lone Wolf and Cub reference. Those movies sucked too.

Gintoki – Here’s a shitty character if I’ve ever seen one. A dude who carries a wooden sword around. He’s lazy one minute, then not lazy the next. He mainly just pisses me off as a character.

Shinpachi-Does he even do anything? Here’s a prime example of an extra character who somehow found his way into a lead role. I don’t even get it.

Kagura – First and foremost, this character is voiced by Rie Kugimiya, who we all know is the most ANNOYING VOICE ACTRESS EVER. Why does she still have jobs? Her voice sucks! It’s all whiney and annoying, I honestly feel like stabbing my ears with a multitude of household items to stop me from having to listen to her squall. And her character? Well shit, I’ve never wanted to punch something so hard in my life. She, like Rie, whines and whines about everything…..God, shut up.

Ayame – Great, just what we need, another masochist WHORE.

Katsura – Lammmmmme. What the fuck is up with that duck thing? If that’s not the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, then I don’t know what is.

2. Plot

I HATE parodies.

Yea, or lack there of. What the fuck is the plot? “Random shit happends to people. Durrrr” This is the stupidest thing ever. I hate shows without a continuous plot, and no sir, I do not believe that Gintama has one. Instead it’s some new, gay thing everyday, what a load of shit. But that’s not even what I’m mad about.

I watched this show because I heard it was funny. I have yet to laugh or even think that something I’ve watched is funny. It’s all boring non-sense. The characters make dumb jokes, the things they go through are boring, and overall, I find this show to be stupid and childish. Maybe I’d get the humor if I were 12. I wish I had an example of their bad comedy to show you, but I can’t even differentiate the comedic aspects from the non, so I’m out of luck here. This is the most unfunny show I’ve ever seen. K-On was funnier.

Conclusion

Somebody please tell me why this show gets so much acclaim, because I can’t figure it out. All I see is random shit, and as you I don’t think that random comedy is funny at all. Not only that, but the OPs and EDs SUCK.