Gintama: Because Who the Hell Needs Doctor Fees?

Have you ever been or had one of the following:

  • Vomiting
  • Depression
  • Diarrhea
  • Dizzy
  • Raped
  • Cancer
  • AIDS
  • Broken Bone(s)
  • Sleep Deprivation
  • Really bad ACNE
  • Gay
  • Not Gay
  • Sara Palin
  • Ugly
  • Sticky
  • Alzheimer’s (well, you probably can’t remember if you do or not)
  • Amnesia (again, probably can’t remember)
  • Lacerations
  • Skin Completely torn off
  • Head caved in
  • Missing bowels
  • Heart torn out of body
  • Other

Think about this picture and realize how fucking awesome it is.

Did you actually go to the doctor and PAY him to fix you up? You’re SOOOooOOO STUPID! Going to a doctor is POINTLESS. Not only do you have to drive there, you also have to wait forever in a small room with other ailing people, and then when you’re finally called, you have to wait in a DIFFERENT room forever, and then finally the doctor comes in, touches your balls or something, and tell you what’s wrong with you. Then he’ll write some expensive prescriptions or something, and then you have to go get them filled, which costs more money, and then finally drive all the way home. That whole process could take HOURS. But you don’t actually need to do any of that! All you need is a computer, an internet, and a few episodes of Gintama, because not only is Gintama NOT a waste of your time, but it’s one of the most enjoyable things you can do with your time EVER. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! It is a cold, hard FACT that Gintama cures the following ailments and malnormalities:

  • Shattered Cunt
  • Cancer
  • AIDS
  • HIV
  • All other STDs
  • Broken Bones
  • Grease or Acid Burns
  • Rug Burns
  • Botched Surgical Procedures
  • Carpel Tunnel
  • Torn Asshole (anal fissure)
  • Being a Tool
  • Stupidity There is no cure for stupidity
  • Headaches
  • Gintama Deprivation
  • Sleep Deprivation
  • Deprivation Deprivation
  • Bronchitis
  • Brontosaurus
  • Bron-Bron Going to Miami
  • Hoof in Mouth Disease
  • Hoof in Ass Disease
  • Ass Disease
  • Loneliness
  • Depression
  • Suicidal Thoughts
  • Actual Suicide
  • Death

It’s pretty much the greatest fucking thing ever. Don’t have a computer? Well fuck it, order some episodes online, you don’t even have to leave your ho-……oh wait you need a computer to order them…….well whatever, you can drive to the mall or nearest anime outlet and it will still be quicker and cheaper than going to Doctor Jackass. Don’t have a tv on which to watch the episodes? Grab the manga! Don’t know how to read? GINTAMA CURES ILLITERACY!!!!! THERE’S SO MANY OPTIONS!!!!

So if you’ve been suffering from anything (except stupidity and Sara Palin), then get some fucking Gintama, because it’s fucking awesome.

(results may vary. consult your doctor before usi-……oh that kinda defeats the purpose of this whole post huh? well, I don’t wanna get sued by some dumbass. seriously though, Gintama rules.)


17 thoughts on “Gintama: Because Who the Hell Needs Doctor Fees?

  1. i dont appreciate you putting gay as an illness.

    just kidding haha. i know this post was spawned from that comment you left on my facebook haha.

    my ankle is still fucked tho… its so swollen… and i have to work today… i hope my manager realizes i cant walk and sends me home…. then i can go out drinking tonight and take Vicodin… sounds like a plan.

    • Just because your personal lifestyle has changed doesn’t mean I’m going to stop calling things gay or using the word faggot. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t even mean the same thing anymore you faggot.

      Anyway, I actually wrote this before your facebook post, but it related so perfectly that I decided to put it up immediately (I was gonna wait a few days). It was actually inspired by one of klux’s recent posts.

      HAHAHAHA Vicodin….I’d be more worried about my shoulder. You can’t do shit if your shoulder’s fucked up. At least you can lift with a sprained ankle….actually, why don’t you just watch some fucking Gintama, then you won’t have you deal with any of these problems. Jeez don’t you read what I write!?

      • you prolly wrote gay… then realized you didnt want to offend gay ppl and wrote not gay.

        also.. i dont really care if you call things gay… but faggot is like the n word to black people. example… i can go up to other gay people and call them a fag, but other people cant say it. cuz its an offensive word. ive completely cut out calling things gay from my vocab since ive “outted” myself.

      • If I turned gay I’d still call things that I don’t like gay. Likewise, I’ve been calling you a faggot for years. You won’t escape it no matter how you change your ways….now if someone I didn’t know were with you, that’s almost a different story.

        A faggot is a bundle of sticks, just pretend that that’s what I mean.

      • “If I turned gay I’d still call things that I don’t like gay.”

        so that makes it ok? and no you wouldn’t you retard. you don’t get it.. cuz youre not gay.

  2. Here’s where your post went wrong…doctor’s never actually tell you what’s wrong. If I fucked my shoulder up, yea, then they’ll say you have a messed up shoulder (thanks asshole I already know that, how’d those 2312934 years of med school work out for you) but if you’re, I don’t know, ACTUALLY SICK they’ll just say it’s a bug or virus let it run its course and then prescribe something stupid like tylenol. Nothing about which bug or virus it is or what special medication you can take, just let it run its course. Fucking walk in clinics.

    • Walk in clinics suck… they told my dad he had appendicitis… then when he went to a REAL hospital “you have cancer” needless to say i will never go to a walk in clinic again.

    • Apparently I had a virus. (I might still have it, my noise still is kind of congested). At least that’s what they told me. They negleted to let me know, however, that I also had a sinus infection, which festered to the point where I couldn’t even swallow. Have you ever been so congested that you literally can’t swallow?

      Walk in clinics suck. But that’s all I had, because apparently to make an appointment with my doctor you need a fucking note from the President, and a secret password to actually be able to talk to a fucking receptionist. FUCK EVERYONE.

  3. Pingback: My top 10 reasons why you MUST watch Gintama | Anime Full Çizgi Film izle

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s