First of all, I gave this the stupidest name I could think of.
Second of all, you’re all perverts. This isn’t safe for work. AT ALL. Unless you work in a porn factory or something.
You think this is hot? She’s probably getting raped. By tentacles. What the fuck is wrong with you?
I bet this gets your motor revved doesn’t it? You God damn pervert. THIS IS SOMEBODY’S DAUGHTER! (except not really, it’s actually just a drawing).
Velvet Skin? I don’t know what that is, but this is clearly a WHORE WITH HEADPHONES. I bet you like this don’t you? Jesus…my readers are all fucking perverts.
Naked in school? HAVE YOU NO DECENCY!!?? Since it’s an anime, she’s probably in MIDDLE SCHOOL. You should be ARRESTED YOU CREEP!
I BET these glasses turn you on, don’t they? You fetish loving freak. Go run yourself a bath…AND DROWN YOURSELF!
This post is a test to see if fanservice really is all that people care about, and also to see what bloggers are the most perverted. I also love writing captions like these. It’s a lot of fun. I believe it’s also fun to berate my reader(s).
Yup. I’ve really stopped caring at this point. Should I write something with substance? I guess I should, otherwise this post would just be a tease.
But I won’t. Now get your hand off your dick. You fucking pervert.
The Deathseeker is a blog I am subscribed to. The Deathseeker is a good blog. The Deathseeker has declared war on boobs. Well, not really on boobs, but has declared that we start a war (or debate rather) about what’s better: Nice Big Boobs or DFCs (Delicious Flat Chest….yea…that’s not pedophilic or anything).
So he asks us of the anime blogs (and in my case, ISSS) to declare their side. Needless to say this is a post that is right up my alley (BTW this won’t even be close to a safe for work post, unless you ever work for me), as I love talking about tits, ass, and all sorts of perverted stuff. Judging by a certain past post where I had a similar debate, you can probably guess what side I’m on, right?
Wrong. You have no idea (well actually you do, but…)
BOOBS
Do you know how hard it is to find a picture of perfect boobs on Google? VERY HARD (like my cock after looking at tons of pictures of boobs on Google ZIiiIIzZzZZ). In the end I SETTLED on this picture of Aoi Sora, who I think has a great body, a nice set of boobs, and pretty awesome hair (although she has kind of a large nose, and needs a trim down below (apparently in Japanese culture a shaved region gives the impression of a slut or something….I heard that somewhere). Here’s another picture of her.
For fucks sake this girl is unbelievable....you know what? She could keep the hair I'd still be fine with it.
digitalboy found some boobs that were close in his post (which failed to pick a side, and instead took the cheap “why can’t we all get along” way out…this is a WAR!!! When you say “can’t wee all just get along” makes you sound like a hippie, and I hate hippies, with their God damn music and flower power and other bullshit), but I don’t want to use the same ones (for the record, I’m referring to Yua Aida, not the 2-D pictures). I in fact though that they were the perfect boobs, but in fact I would like them slightly……
As I continue to beat around the bush (and my DICK! EL OHHH EL!), let me get back to that post I linked to way above (my post, not Deathseeker’s) where me and fellow ISSSer Refuse to Come Wack (that’s really your internet name? It’s the same as your ISSS. You can’t do that, it’s stupid), had a rousing debate about which was better: tits, or ass? Well, he “called” ass before I did, so I was forced to choose the side of boobs, even though personally, I believe that ASS is BETTER THAN BOOBS! (I still won the debate in question if you ask me [in fact, the poll at the bottom of the post in question is TIED 28-28!]). But the question for this post wasn’t whether or not I like boobs or ass more, it was what type of boobs I like more.
I want my mouth/hands/anything on these now.
Truth be told I don’t really mind small boobs at all. They really aren’t bad. Does that mean I want a girl that’s completely flat? NO……well, as long as she doesn’t look like a child. A girl can still have womanly qualities even if she doesn’t have huge tits. I mean, look at Qwen Stefani, she’s a smoke-show, but she doesn’t exactly need a bra. At the same time, she doesn’t look like a child, you can tell she’s a wild sex panther! Another bonus is that your wife (if she has a flat bust) will never have sagging boobs that get all old and wrinkly and saggy (shudders), nor will she have back troubles! Truthfully, there are good things about girls with small chests.
So you’re saying that you like DFC?
I would not go that far. While I said I don’t mind flat girls, I never said I prefer them.
So you’ve finally reached a conclusion? Big tits?
No.
Then what the fuck?
Well, I guess if I have to choose a side, Big Boobs would be the obvious choice, but not too big, just noticeable. The boobs of Aoi Sora are probably some of the best around, but all I need is a handful. If I can cup a boob with my hand, with maybe a little more spare boob, then it’s the perfect size boob.
You realize that this was supposed to be about boobs on anime girls, right?
Uh….yea…..yea of course I knew that……I mean……wait a sec…….it says “or real life counterparts” so what the fuck?
Yea, but still…
I have an ISSS = I can do what I want. I’m not going to show anime boobs just because…you know what? It’s not like those are the rules or anything anyway! They’re more like guidelines if anything! I’m saying I like boobs, what man doesn’t like boobs? They don’t HAVE to be anime boobs. There is no way in hell I’m showing anime boobs just because it would please the court. NO WAY.
HOLY SHIT. When I was looking on google for “anime boobs” I clicked on some picture, and it was from MY SITE! WTF!!!!
Anyway, I threw in many many pictures of topless anime girls, just for you jackasses who need to see anime boobs. Personally, I prefer nice, real life, grab-able boobs on a woman, but to each his own floating boat….or something like that.
For the record, even in anime, big boobs are still better, as long as they’re not used for retardedly blatant fanservice like they were in this post. I mean, who wants to see lolis running around everywhere? That’s kind of pedophilic (mainly because lolis just look like kids, not like adult women with small breasts….then again, most characters in anime are like….15…..holy shit everyone who gets off to anime is a pedophile [note: this list does not include me, personally, I had to stop looking at anime boobs because I got bored {not ever lying(athough I am really tired….boxing two days in a row? pshhhhhhh)}]). Can we get some more real boobs in this post? I don’t like the ratio.
Brasil:
Candace Smith:
Keeping the diversity up, here’s another set of black boobs (for the record, I’m not a fan of a lot of black boobs, but to prove I’m not racist, I will say that I found a lot of black asses that I liked).
African Boobs:
Perfect Boobs:
This last pair of boobs is, in my opinion, the best pair of boobs I have ever laid eyes on. Also, this girl is arguably the hottest on this page. In fact, I don’t think this girl is even human. She’s clearly from an unknown alien race that are comprised of perfect looking people. Still, real life boobs are soooooooo much better than anime boobs. They just are. They look better, they feel better (well, I’ve never felt an anime boob before, wouldn’t it be the same as grabbing a piece of paper?). Just look at these, and compare them to anime boobs. Anime boobs look like shit. They’re drawings. I don’t want to put my mouth on a drawing. What the fuck am I talking about? I’m rambling. This post was off-topic 600 times.
In conclusion, I declare myself for the side of large boobs (I can’t stop staring at that last picture…I’m not even looking at them in an erotic way….those are just works of art…..I want to bury my face in them….artistically).
NOTE: I still love Aoi Sora. She’s fucking hot, and her hair is awesome. If I wasn’t already satisfied with my current marriage to klux, then I would totally fly to Japan and marry this girl.
DOUBLE NOTE:
Real Life Boobs > Anime Boobs
Should I write a post about that^^?
And with that, I’m off to da NYC to get it poppin hollaback. Chillin wit da homies eastside straight murda thug life ponies and rainbows from da streets ya heard.
WARNING: THIS IS A QUEEN’S BLADE POST. EXPECT BOOBS.
Wow. This was….just….Queen’s Blade never fails to surprise me.
This episode opens with Reina, the worst character ever, looking for a place to stay. Seemingly, every single place she goes happens to be full up, but that’s just because no one likes her. Eventually, she’s forced to use the “I’m in Queen’s Blade” ploy, and a reluctant inn-keeper let’s her stay in a room, with this crazy snake bitch:
I wonder what she means by special night training...probably sex.
Nothing really happens through the first half of the show. Tomoe and Shizuka decide to stay at a church, which happens to be the same church where Nanael is, and it’s run by this character, who is so stupid (in a good, Queen’s Blade way) that I’ll have to show you a screen shot of her and her massive bust.
I see much lower back trouble in her future.
Holy fuck. This bitch has some huge tits. That’s what I thought, as I laughed and took a screen print of the page. Like, honestly. Jesus Christ. I mean, there’s a limit to how big boobs can be. I would not have sex with a woman if her tits were this massive. Okay, I might once, just to say I’d done it, but I probably wouldn’t enjoy it that much. Okay I might still enjoy it, but I’d hate myself in the morning. Pretty much, I wanted to punch this bitch in the face, just because I don’t like how she looks. Then they ate dinner:
Oh cum on, they're obviously using milk as a substitute for something else....what that something is, I have no idea.
Isn’t it strange how abundant milk is in the land of Queen’s Blade? It’s also apparently very easy to spill all over your face, breasts, and pretty much anywhere in between. Anyway, things get a little off track, as Tomoe forgets her place.
Apparently Tomoe forgot that she is a character in the hit anime, Queen's Blade.
Tomoe, you’re in Queen’s Blade. There is no such thing as exposing too much skin. In fact, I’d say she leaves too much to the imagination. And you’re one to talk, we get quite a bit of fanservice from you this episode. But yeah, the whole first part of the episode was worthless. But then, the fights start, and I am riveted.
Queen’s Blade Fight 1: Tomoe vs Melpha
Well, this fight was……well……..very very very “>very “>very “>very “>very “>very very very very very very very very very….(catches breath)….very very very veryveryveryveryveryveryveryvecry funny. That’s right funny. Here we have two priestess going at it. Tomoe being very conservative (and fucking awesome), and Melpha being….well…..a whore. That’s right, a whore. Typical cum-dumpster. I mean, look at her fighting poses.
At least she didn't piss all over the place like Reina would've done.
Each and every move of Melpha’s (the big-titted priestess) was a sexual position. I recall one of her poses was a doggystyle position, and I think it was called something like, “Holy Pose.” She actually yelled, HOLY POSE as she did it. I was honestly dying. She was actually beating Tomoe, but that’s only because Tomoe was kind of disgusted with her. Then she decided to try, and beat Melpha with one swing of her awesome samurai sword. I honestly want Tomoe to win the whole thing. However, she was not the best character of this episode.
Winner: Tomoe
Queen’s Blade Fight 2: Nyx vs Elina
Awesome battle so far. I was excited when I heard the matchup (even though it was kind of obvious). These match-ups ruled. Here we have Nyx, the girl who almost always get’s tentacle raped (she already was once this episode) and Elina, Reina’s sister, who, for some strange reason, wants Reina. She can have her. But what made this matchup really interesting was the fact that Nyx was, in the past, Elina’s servant, and pretty much hates Elina, and wants revenge. Now I don’t know if I told you about my feelings for revenge, but I fucking love revenge. I always root for revenge to win. If there was a fight between my best friend and a kid who wanted revenge against him, I’d say go revenge (as long as said friend was in no mortal peril).
Anyway, so right before the fight starts:
Obligatory Rape.
Something about this shot makes me laugh. Maybe it’s just my balls laughing at people who get off to this. But anyway, after swallowing the tentacle monster’s load, Nyx goes crazy (she’s obviously using the tentacle as means to gain power and for it’s free rapes). So now, instead of a scared girl who wants to get her redemption from Elina, she’s a fucking crazy psycho bitch hell bent on getting revenge. FUCKING AWESOME:
This girl has fucking problems and I love it. This screenshot alone won me over.
Nyx was easily my favorite character this episode. I mean, she’s most likely going to lose, because she was only just recently introduced (kind of like Melpha) and Elina is a long lasting character. This show is easily predictable. But dear God, make Nyx at least get revenge. I can not WAIT to see this fight finish.
Winner: Undetermined
Well that’s pretty much the episode, except for one last thing (just ignore the subs, this is a shitty screen-shot, I know):
You poke someone with that, it ain't comin' out clean. It's like a honey bee's stinger.
Nothing makes me happier than when I finish a Queen’s Blade Post.
Yes, lesbians and gentleman, it is time for us to answer that age-old question. Although both are incredibly fuckin awesome (on women), which takes the title? WHICH IS MORE AWESOME – Boobs or Ass? For this reason, Glo The Legend, and Refuse to Come Wack, have decided to take this on mano a mano, in a battle royale for the ages, with Glo The Legend representing the side of boobs and Refuse to Come Wack representing the side of ass. So without further ado, it’s time to pit the funbags against the fly badunk, the cans against the hiney, the jugs against the applebottom, the melons against the booty, the boobs against the ass, because let’s face it…when we put up some great lookin hiney and tig ol bitties, everyone wins.
BOOBS
Well, fuck, where do I start….how bout some pictures, eh?
They say a picture is worth 1000 words...this one is worth two: Yes. Please.
Okay, now anybody who’s seen my site knows that it is a safe house for all boob-lovers out there. I mean, at least half of my daily visitors seem to come here looking for boobs (it is the top search post). But why? How come I don’t get any hits for “ass”? Well the answer is simple:
Boobs are fucking great.
First of all, what do your eyes look at when you first see a girl…her face? Nah, they go right for the boobs. This has been proven with science. I mean, boobs can be used for so much. You can:
Motor-boat
Can you motor-boat an ass? Well, sure you can, but that’s how you get pink eye.
Grab em.
Rub em.
Suck em.
Fuck em.
Lick em.
You see, you can do all of these great activities with an ass too, but the thing is, you have to get alll the way down to ass-level to do them. Boobs are strategically placed right below the face.
You can also use them to open beer….wait….what? Let’s explore that last one:
Who can dare argue against boobs after that? I mean, that’s just fucking awesome. Beer and boobs are a perfect combination….actually, when you combine anything with boobs it turns out pretty lovely…..whipped cream…chocolate syrup….salami…but let’s delve more into the facts:
Boobs come in a variation of sizes. They can range from Asian Style:
Luckily, girls can now get boob jobs.
All the way to Weird Anime Style:
Holy shit you could use those as trampolines.
And in case you don’t know what I mean by Weird Anime Boobs, look no farther then Queen’s Blade:
Queen's Blade is why I get so many hits for boobs.
Wow, the girl in real life actually has bigger boobs then the anime girl. I actually can’t believe that. Let’s get back to the placement of boobs.
Now, Robert will argue that boobs are placed in an area of the body where you are most likely to get caught staring. Well I have a few things to say to that.
Who Cares if She Catches You?
Women will never admit this, but they love it when you peer down their blouse, or take a long, look at their bosom, as if in deep thought. The fact is, when you stare at a nice pair of hooters, it’s like giving girls a huge complement. Why else do you think women with small tits get boob jobs? It’s because they like it when guys look at them. It’s in this way that boobs make a good conversation starter.
If you’re in a public place, and you spy a girl with a rack that makes you nearly bust your pants, then go over to her, and blatantly look at her lumps of women flesh. She will then ask “what you’re fucking doing” in an annoyed tone. When she does this, then simply reply, “I’m sorry miss, I’d really love to stop this, but your breasts are the most wondrous spectacles I have ever seen, and I can not, for the life of me, turn away.” She will most likely leave. This is when you know you’ve got her. After this, make it a point to follow her around the party, and every time you see her, make another remark about her beautiful tits. This works every time.
It’s a Challenge!
In some cases, girls want to hide the fact that they love men staring them down, that they might go off on you. These people are called dikes and feminists. However, this just gives the attempt to look at boobs more fun. Can you get away with it? It’s so exciting. I mean, it doesn’t exactly take a brain surgeon to stare down a supple ass walking down the street, for the sole fact that people don’t have eyes in back of their heads. but to successfully ogle a pair of tits. Well, they give out medals for that.
A picture of youth:
Most straight people know that from day one, tits are supreme over ass.
Let’s face it, the only thing that men and women both have (which can be found arousing) is an ass. Men have an ass. Women have an ass. But women have TITS. To conclude, I now present a person who is one of the most manly of men. Of course, I could only be speaking of Maddox:
Maddox has a whole chapter of his prize winning novel, “The Alphabet of Manliness”, dedicated to tits:
Ahhh Knockers
I’m not going to explain anything else here, because you should already own this book. I bought it right away, although I did also download it, because Robert (who is co-writing this epic legend of a post with me) has it at his house, and it’s too late to go get it. Maddox goes into more detail then I did, so buy the book and read it.
And that’s all I have to say about the loveliness of boobs.
ASS
Let’s just start you off with this:
Seriously??!?!?!
Now, theoretically, that should be enough to win me this battle right there, but I WON’T STOP THERE. Simply because I just wanna talk about ass more and hopefully can put up more pictures like that in the meantime.
Fellas (and hot lesbians), is there anything more enjoyable than giving a firm spank to a firm fruit-oriented shape of ass? Didn’t think so. You know what else is great about girls asses? They’re much more inconspicuous to look at…with their cans they hafta be facing you and relatively close, a prime time to get caught. With the booty, however, nearly any time is a perfect opportunity, and it’s much more difficult to get caught. Not only do you get a great view when the girl ISN’T facing you, but side-views are also always an option. You could be twenty feet away and a fat booty outline can send chills down your spine. I mean realistically, it’s almost hard to get caught…that is unless you’re a certain co-writer of this post grabassing on spring weekend eh heh hemmmmm….(also, doesn’t this kinda prove my point? A self-appointed defender of cans was reachin for the booty when the opportunity arose, not vice versa)
The other thing is, girls don’t even have to be wearing revealing clothing to show off a booty that would make men do this… with boobs they gotta be wearing a low cut or a tightass top, but with a great booty, girls can even look hot in sweatpants. I swear, if girls wear the right tightness sweatpants it honestly looks like a shelf…it’s just..I can’t even focus, here’s another picture.
I see you J Lo
Another advantage of the female ass is the preview. Is there anything better than the ass preview? Certainly not it’s rare cousin the boob preview, since it happens much less often. Think about it…even when girls are wearing low cut stuff, they have bras to cover their stuff up (contrary to what Glo says about them wanting you to peek). Much more often spotted is the ass preview, which may or may not look something like this:
Ass Preview
Yet another inspiration for this post is Shakira. I know she’s ridiculously short…shes like 5’2″ or somethin crazy, but DAMN I can’t get enough of her ass. The obvious choice right now would be to go to She Wolf, since that’s her new video, but instead I’m gonna reference another one of her videos. Do yourself a little favor and go to 2:25 to 2:30 of this video. SHE DRAGS HERSELF ACROSS A TABLE WITH HER ASS, PEOPLE. Let me repeat that. SHE DRAGS HERSELF ACROSS A TABLE WITH HER ASS.
DRAG. TABLE. ASS.
And one of the best up-and-coming things is that girls of any race can now have a great ass. A couple years ago, it was relegated to a few races. A couple years ago, ass would be at a distinct disadvantage since any girl can have cans, but now that Ludacris is the new phenomenon like white women with ass (1:58), ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Seriously…girls can work out and make themselves have a great ass, can you really say that about boobs?
Finally, another great thing is simply the word “hiney”. It’s fuckin awesome.
In conclusion, do me a favor. Next time you get the chance, cup a great hiney. It’ll brighten up your year.
AS YOU CAN SEE, THE BATTLE RAGES TIGHTER THAN EVECR, AND THE VICTOR IS UP TO YOU. THE WINNER OF THIS AGE-OLD BATTLE WILL E DECIDED BY VOTES VIA COMMENT AND/OR POLL. VOTE NOW.
Eye Sedso 