Hentai Boobs Anime Breasts Naked Animes and Mangas (NSFW)

First of all, I gave this the stupidest name I could think of.

Second of all, you’re all perverts. This isn’t safe for work. AT ALL. Unless you work in a porn factory or something.

You think this is hot? She’s probably getting raped. By tentacles. What the fuck is wrong with you?

I bet this gets your motor revved doesn’t it? You God damn pervert. THIS IS SOMEBODY’S DAUGHTER! (except not really, it’s actually just a drawing).

Velvet Skin? I don’t know what that is, but this is clearly a WHORE WITH HEADPHONES. I bet you like this don’t you? Jesus…my readers are all fucking perverts.

Naked in school? HAVE YOU NO DECENCY!!?? Since it’s an anime, she’s probably in MIDDLE SCHOOL. You should be ARRESTED YOU CREEP!

I BET these glasses turn you on, don’t they? You fetish loving freak. Go run yourself a bath…AND DROWN YOURSELF!

This post is a test to see if fanservice really is all that people care about, and also to see what bloggers are the most perverted. I also love writing captions like these. It’s a lot of fun. I believe it’s also fun to berate my reader(s).

Yup. I’ve really stopped caring at this point. Should I write something with substance? I guess I should, otherwise this post would just be a tease.

But I won’t. Now get your hand off your dick. You fucking pervert.

High School Of The Dead: One of the Most Bad-Ass Things I’ve Ever Watched

All I can say is, Holy Shit. I’m glad I waited and marathoned this. There was not one minute that wasn’t adrenaline rushed,  not one episode that less than awesome, and not one character who was not bad-ass. Well, okay, there were a few non-bad-ass characters. They all died.

You know, I never used to like zombie movies, zombie shows, or anything zombie related in particular. Zombies to me were just kind of…bleh. Every movie about zombies was and pretty much still is the same. People turn into zombies. Other people try not to get eaten….big deal. Each one has the same plot right? Well, I’m officially jumping on the zombie bandwagon and riding it until I’m out of ammo and my blade is dull from slicing off the heads of the undead. How awesome was this anime? I just finished it, and instead of writing my lab report due tomorrow today that pretty much decides my whole grade for a class, I’m writing this post. Edit: My lab report SUCKED, and I could care less.

Coming into HOTD (which is an awesome acronym), I was expecting a decent show about zombies, only because I heard that the manga kicked ass. This was a mute point however. Mainly, I was just happy to have a show with a shit ton of blood. I feel like anime is lacking in the blood department. There are almost no shows that choose to have bloody massacres anymore and that makes me sad. Needless to say, High School of the Dead made me happy.

So I watched it. I watched two episodes, and I thought, “Hey, this is a pretty good show.” Then I stopped watching….well….pretty much every new show I had started. This happens to me every season. I start about 12 shows, watch 2 episodes, and quit. Same thing here. Until a couple days ago, when I forced myself to start watching HOTD again. Since than, I’ve been in shear bloody ecstasy. As I watched, I began to realize that this show had what I now like to refer to as:

The Triple Entente

Of a Bad-Ass Show

1. All Characters Are Bad-Ass

This show certainly fits the bill. Every character (who remains alive throughout) is bad-ass as FUCK. Even the little girl who they find is bad ass! I mean, she not only hits a zombie with a tire (which is the most she could do really), but she also pees on people without any regard! I mean, the only slightly non-bad-ass character was Saya, but that’s only because she only shot a few zombies at close range without hesitation, as opposed to say, Saeko, who slaughters zombies mercifully and fucking gets wet from it.

Here, at least according to subbers, she is killing everyone, and proclaims to be wet. This is great, and made me wet too (because I spilled my water on myself when I jumped in the air [it’s a side-effect of seeing awesomeness]). In case you’re wondering, yes, Saeko is my favorite character, and yes, it’s mainly because she’s a girl who has a sword and enjoys killing.

On second thought, I just remembered that the school nurse, who is a whore, was completely non-bad-ass. In fact, she sucked. At least she was never afraid of anything (mainly because she had no clue what was going on most of the time).

2. Blood

There was not only blood, but there was also, blood, blood, and more blood.

3. Tits and Ass

BOOBS and ASS. The best inventions since the vagina was created by Thomas Edison in 1324 BCE, and the perfect combo when talking about pretty much any situation. I mean, we even get to see some Zombie ass! (which is kinda weird to be honest, but awesome nonetheless). In fact, and correct me if I’m wrong, but every single female shown in this anime has gigantic tits (little girl aside). Even if you’re put off by everything else in this show, you can still come to glare at some nice round cans (meaning boobs or ass).

Actually, there was some vagina here too, which adds to the awesomeness. I should rename this TAV.

TAV

The other thing that made this great was the animation. Some shows are donuts. They start and finish with great animation, but everything in between sucks. Other shows are Tokko, where the animation sucks all the way through. Some shows are Air Master, where only specific scenes have awesome animation, but the rest of the show has shitty crap. This show was none of the above. It was fully 100% beautiful animation. Which meant fluid fight scenes. What are fluid fight scenes? They’re bad-ass catchers. When you have fluid fight scenes, you can capture all of the bad-assness in a show.

Everything.

We’re talking high flying kicks, unrealistic dodges, gunshots to the head from several angles, bullets weaving in between breasts and under vaginas…..everything that can be considered awesome. Slow motion, fast motion changing views…..it’s honestly a marvel. I loved it. I’m intensely glad I didn’t read the manga, because it wouldn’t have been close in bad-assness, and the animation is why.

So, in the end, HOTD was an adrenaline rush of awesome excitement at every turn, and I can’t think of a single reason to give this show any grade lower than a 5^^, nor would I ever want to.

FINAL GRADE = 5^^

Oh No! Bill been bitten by a lazily photoshoped body! (although I used paint, not photoshop....If I said a lazily "Painted" body than no one would have known what I was talking about).

B Gata H Kei Episode 2: Thunder-Package

It’s been a while since I did episodic posts. I hope I can keep it up.

I still hate everything about this OP. It might be the stupidest OP ever made, from the song to the animated content… It’s all just stupid.

This episode had good humor like an ice cream bar. I thought that it was even funnier than the first episode, despite the fact that it had the cliche pool/fireworks theme for part (only part) of the episode. However, this episode contained so many awesomely funny things that I found myself laughing several times, and while B Gata H Kei might not be as awesome as Arakawa Under the Bridge (which is clearly the best show this season as of now), I would slot this in as the second best show of the season (even though I’ve seen like…..2 shows so far).

Episode Plot: Yamada is a slutty whorish whore. First, she gets Kosuda to go to the pool with her.

I could make that screenshot into a joke, but if I did that every single time a characters says something about coming… well then I’d have a pretty awesome post filled with cum jokes, but that’s besides the point. Make your own cum joke.

Look at the sign for the women’s bathroom. This has to be the greatest women’s bathroom sign ever made. Look at the opening legs, they’re just inviting you to go inside (of the bathroom?). Anyway, they get to the pool (which is actually more like a waterpark), and Yamada let’s the dogs out, releasing a huge twist to the viewing audience about what she really thinks about.

Why am I reminded of a crack addict?

I wonder, do most girls has sex as the only thing in their mind? If so, that’s the girl for me. A girl who only wants sex would be fantastic. Like this girl. Anyway, after the whole pool incident, which ended with Kosuda hugging Yamada to apologize for hugging her (yea), Yamada is under the impression that she’s bout to get railed hard any day now. And as a practicer of safe sex, she decides that she needs condoms, and goes with Takeshita, her big titted friend.

Isn't that what she wants them to think? (lol)

Hahahaha Holy shit, and I was just joking.

She ends up buying what I would assume to be a few hundred dollars worth of condoms (condoms aren’t cheap), which must have given the clerks at the counter a real ride. I mean, if you saw some 15 year old girl come up to the counter of your store and buy about 50 boxes of condoms, what would you be thinking? Biggest whore ever? I might tell her to just drop out of school and do porn for a living if you want to have that much sex. Maybe get on the pill as well (doesn’t birth control make a girls tits bigger? I heard that somewhere). What a slut.

Looks like she accidentally bought gay condoms for gay people only. She'll have to return those.

At this time in the show, we get AWESOME 4th WALL BREAKAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So blah blah blah. She goes back to school the next day and says hello to Kosuda in class, to which he offers a stuttered reply of “hello”, looking clearly embarrassed and disheveled. Yamada then does something awesome:

Not only does she laugh into the back of her hand like this:

but she also says (or thinks) something very hypocritical, which is a double awesome funny-ness scene, because we all like to laugh at hypocrites for being stupid. And I especially love when female characters laugh into the backs of their hands.

Anyway, she sees Kosuda talking to some girl with giant tits and glasses. The girl has made him cookies and it’s apparent to everyone that she wants Kosuda’s thunder-package. Now the tables are turned, as Yamada becomes disheveled, and immediately goes crazy. However, this adds yet ANOTHER awesome thing to this show: Stalking.

What do these two screenshots tell us? Well, first of all, Kazuki is as of this moment, my favorite character in this show. She understands how awesome it is to have someone stalk you. Look how happy she is as she cries when she sees that Yamada is stalking her brother! She’s like a proud mother. Not only that, but she also walks around naked, and has a general non-caring attitude towards everything. A good example is in the first episode. She can tell that Yamada wants to give a scented oil massage to the knots in Kosuda’s cock-back. A normal sister would normally prevent that, but she instead decides to leave them alone for 2 hours. What an awesome person! Mamiko Noto has never had such a great role.

I think it's funny that the censorship bar is the cover of the box of condoms that is always spoken of in this show.

Anyway, that’s all I’m going to say on this episode. I left out a lot of funny parts just because. If the next episode is half as good as this one, then it will be a great episode.

Critique of My Crappy Art: Part One

So….I finally have some of my art on my computer. Let it be known that I’m incredibly lazy, and it usually shows in may artwork. I’m going to break down my artwork one piece at a time, although I might do 2 or 3 pieces per post. The first piece will be something I did wayyyyy back in high school.

I would like to point out that this piece of shit was made in high school, and that’s why it looks so shitty….well, one of the reasons. To be perfectly honest, this looks a lot crappier on my computer than in real life. In real life, it’s a lot brighter and less shitty.

First a little about the picture in question:

• The size is 28 by 22 inches. It’s a decent size, but at the same time, not huge.
• I used a combo of pen and ink and watercolor pencil. Water color Pencil was interesting, you draw with it and then use water to create a wash over the image….it was pretty cool, and it was easy to get pretty cool color mixes.
• I kind of used this piece to try out different pen and ink techniques (pointillism, cross hatching, etc.)
• There’s no name….it’s a picture I found on Google.
• I didn’t use a grid.
• Lloyd Banks is the man.

Time for me to rip it apart:

Okay, I’m going to pick out a few sections that are wrong and color code them so you know what I’m talking about.

BLUE: In these two areas, the perspective is completely off. In the top blue section, the screens on the side are drawn at a higher level than the screens in the front. Also, they aren’t parallel with the line of the roof/floor. Basically, I completely ignored the rules of one or two point perspective. The door on the bottom looks completely fucked up. The perspective all over is pretty bad, but then again, I did this in high school, where I really sucked at art.

RED: The shadows and values here weren’t really that bad in the corner there, but the plants (which you could barely see in the photo version) have no value, and are actually way too bright. All over this picture, the values are off, and there isn’t enough contrast, although in real life, the picture looks ten times better. I should rephrase: The values are too inconsistent. Sometimes I have values, sometimes I don’t.

GREEN: Just look how sloppy this is. I was running out of time, and so I had to rush through this part. There’s also no value in the trees. The overall craftsmanship is pretty bad overall, in my opinion.

LIGHT BLUE: Again, craftsmanship and perspective were pretty shitty here. It’s just too scribbly, and the back corner of the roof is too low compared to the front (or the front is too high). Let me use a picture or two to explain:

Get it? (I created this using paint…..good thing I don’t have a Mac!)

PINK: I actually like this section. Probably the only part I can actually say I like. I also love the bushes, even though they don’t look like bushes at all. They look fucking cool though.

So chances are that pretty much anyone can draw something like this. It’s really nothing special, but I’m not just going to show my good stuff (although truthfully, it really does look a lot better in real life, it’s brighter, there’s WAY more detail…..etc). Next peice will be something I actually like:

Okay, even though this wasn’t really hard to do, I love it. Skulls are pretty easy to draw, and this is only in pencil (I think?). I mean, there’s really nothing special about this…it’s only like, a 5 minute sketch, but for some reason I love it. Maybe I just like skulls, but there isn’t much I can crtitque about it….or is there???

Wait, let me go over stuff about this really quick:

1. It’s a 5-10 minute sketch of a skull that was sitting in the class.
2. Was done in Drawing I (freshman level art).
3. Pencil on drawing paper.
4. The piece was 18-24 inches (all drawings are going to be 18-24 pretty much)

For a 5-10 minute sketch, it’s pretty good. I want to say it was ten minutes, because I was able to do a background. but I will say that if I were to do it again, I would add more contrast (darker darks and lighter lights). However, with pencil, you can only go so dark, it’s easier to get darker with charcoal. I might also clean it up a bit, but I kind of like the sketchy feel of it (I LOVE sketchy images, so you’re going to see a lot of my stuff with sketchyness. Example? This:

As usual, this looks better in real life. The contrast is better. Some of the darks in the fact are lost when I took the picture, but  love this, in fact, it’s one of my favorite profiles. I probably have better looking ones, but this is my favorite. It might appear that the face looks all fucked up (the eyes look odd, and the lip look a bit low), but the model in question had a FUCKED UP FACE. She was an old, saggy bag, and this looks almost exactly like her (I think this was a 15 minute drawing). If you could see the model, you’d agree with me. But notice the sketchyness arond her shirt and other areas of her face. I hate doing smooth shading. I mean, sometimes I’ll do it, but for the most part, I like how this looks more.

• 18-24 inches.
• Charcoal on drawing paper.

Critique?

There’s still plenty wrong with this profile, and I’ll point it out now:

• Her hair. There’s nowhere near enough value, although that’s only in this version. In real life her hair is about as dark as the shirt….I don’t know why it didn’t show up like that when I took the picture. I could have used darker darks I guess, but in real life, it actually looks pretty good to me. I’m going to try and take another picture.

What the fuck? This looks like a completely different picture…look:

The one on the left is the first picture I took. The second one  looks wider for some reason….I guess I just suck at taking pictures…..but yeah…anyway. I’m going to end this with some notes I took in figure drawing, that were supposed to be about the facial structure of a person (where to place eyes/nose/etc). For me, these are actually pretty good notes:

You think those are bad (the notes)? You should see my actual notebook. Every page has an anime doodle (I literally just opened to a random page and found 3 anime faces, with another on the previous page. You would think that with all of the anime I draw instead of taking notes, that I’d be at least somewhat decent at drawing anime figures. Given time, I could actually do a good job. I could probably even do artwork for a manga (given time…lots of time..personally, I could probably draw the faces pretty well (these obviously don’t count), but the figures are….well, I suck at figure drawing, as you’ll find out soon enough). Also, look at the BOOBS. BOOBS is the only word where you could turn every part of every letter into a boob. You can’t turn every part of every letter from the word FIRETRUCK into a firetruck, can you? (while having it still be legible). One more reason why boobs rock.

Well that’s it. I’ll try and do better next time….maybe I’ll even draw some manga or something. I’ll probably throw up some of my paintings (one of which is actually cool and has a picture that actually came out good).

Chest Wars! To Boob? Or Not To Boob?

The Deathseeker is a blog I am subscribed to. The Deathseeker is a good blog. The Deathseeker has declared war on boobs. Well, not really on boobs, but has declared that we start a war (or debate rather) about what’s better: Nice Big Boobs or DFCs (Delicious Flat Chest….yea…that’s not pedophilic or anything).

So he asks us of the anime blogs (and in my case, ISSS) to declare their side. Needless to say this is a post that is right up my alley (BTW this won’t even be close to a safe for work post, unless you ever work for me), as I love talking about tits, ass, and all sorts of perverted stuff. Judging by a certain past post where I had a similar debate, you can probably guess what side I’m on, right?

Wrong. You have no idea (well actually you do, but…)

BOOBS

Do you know how hard it is to find a picture of perfect boobs on Google? VERY HARD (like my cock after looking at tons of pictures of boobs on Google ZIiiIIzZzZZ). In the end I SETTLED on this picture of Aoi Sora, who I think has a great body, a nice set of boobs, and pretty awesome hair (although she has kind of a large nose, and needs a trim down below (apparently in Japanese culture a shaved region gives the impression of a slut or something….I heard that somewhere). Here’s another picture of her.

For fucks sake this girl is unbelievable....you know what? She could keep the hair I'd still be fine with it.

digitalboy found some boobs that were close in his post (which failed to pick a side, and instead took the cheap “why can’t we all get along” way out…this is a WAR!!! When you say “can’t wee all just get along” makes you sound like a hippie, and I hate hippies, with their God damn music and flower power and other bullshit), but I don’t want to use the same ones (for the record, I’m referring to Yua Aida, not the 2-D pictures). I in fact though that they were the perfect boobs, but in fact I would like them slightly……

As I continue to beat around the bush (and my DICK! EL OHHH EL!), let me get back to that post I linked to way above (my post, not Deathseeker’s) where me and fellow ISSSer Refuse to Come Wack (that’s really your internet name? It’s the same as your ISSS. You can’t do that, it’s stupid), had a rousing debate about which was better: tits, or ass? Well, he “called” ass before I did, so I was forced to choose the side of boobs, even though personally, I believe that ASS is BETTER THAN BOOBS! (I still won the debate in question if you ask me [in fact, the poll at the bottom of the post in question is TIED 28-28!]). But the question for this post wasn’t whether or not I like boobs or ass more, it was what type of boobs I like more.

I want my mouth/hands/anything on these now.

Truth be told I don’t really mind small boobs at all. They really aren’t bad. Does that mean I want a girl that’s completely flat? NO……well, as long as she doesn’t look like a child. A girl can still have womanly qualities even if she doesn’t have huge tits. I mean, look at Qwen Stefani, she’s a smoke-show, but she doesn’t exactly need a bra. At the same time, she doesn’t look like a child, you can tell she’s a wild sex panther! Another bonus is that your wife (if she has a flat bust) will never have sagging boobs that get all old and wrinkly and saggy (shudders), nor will she have back troubles! Truthfully, there are good things about girls with small chests.

So you’re saying that you like DFC?

I would not go that far. While I said I don’t mind flat girls, I never said I prefer them.

So you’ve finally reached a conclusion? Big tits?

No.

Then what the fuck?

Well, I guess if I have to choose a side, Big Boobs would be the obvious choice, but not too big, just noticeable. The boobs of Aoi Sora are probably some of the best around, but all I need is a handful. If I can cup a boob with my hand, with maybe a little more spare boob, then it’s the perfect size boob.

You realize that this was supposed to be about boobs on anime girls, right?

Uh….yea…..yea of course I knew that……I mean……wait a sec…….it says “or real life counterparts” so what the fuck?

Yea, but still…

I have an ISSS = I can do what I want. I’m not going to show anime boobs just because…you know what? It’s not like those are the rules or anything anyway! They’re more like guidelines if anything! I’m saying I like boobs, what man doesn’t like boobs? They don’t HAVE to be anime boobs. There is no way in hell I’m showing anime boobs just because it would please the court. NO WAY.

HOLY SHIT. When I was looking on google for “anime boobs” I clicked on some picture, and it was from MY SITE! WTF!!!!

Anyway, I threw in many many pictures of topless anime girls, just for you jackasses who need to see anime boobs. Personally, I prefer nice, real life, grab-able boobs on a woman, but to each his own floating boat….or something like that.

For the record, even in anime, big boobs are still better, as long as they’re not used for retardedly blatant fanservice like they were in this post. I mean, who wants to see lolis running around everywhere? That’s kind of pedophilic (mainly because lolis just look like kids, not like adult women with small breasts….then again, most characters in anime are like….15…..holy shit everyone who gets off to anime is a pedophile [note: this list does not include me, personally, I had to stop looking at anime boobs because I got bored {not ever lying(athough I am really tired….boxing two days in a row? pshhhhhhh)}]). Can we get some more real boobs in this post? I don’t like the ratio.

Brasil:

Candace Smith:

Keeping the diversity up, here’s another set of black boobs (for the record, I’m not a fan of a lot of black boobs, but to prove I’m not racist, I will say that I found a lot of black asses that I liked).

African Boobs:

Perfect Boobs:

This last pair of boobs is, in my opinion, the best pair of boobs I have ever laid eyes on. Also, this girl is arguably the hottest on this page. In fact, I don’t think this girl is even human. She’s clearly from an unknown alien race that are comprised of perfect looking people. Still, real life boobs are soooooooo much better than anime boobs. They just are. They look better, they feel better (well, I’ve never felt an anime boob before, wouldn’t it be the same as grabbing a piece of paper?). Just look at these, and compare them to anime boobs. Anime boobs look like shit. They’re drawings. I don’t want to put my mouth on a drawing. What the fuck am I talking about? I’m rambling. This post was off-topic 600 times.

In conclusion, I declare myself for the side of large boobs (I can’t stop staring at that last picture…I’m not even looking at them in an erotic way….those are just works of art…..I want to bury my face in them….artistically).

NOTE: I still love Aoi Sora. She’s fucking hot, and her hair is awesome. If I wasn’t already satisfied with my current marriage to klux, then I would totally fly to Japan and marry this girl.

DOUBLE NOTE:

Real Life Boobs > Anime Boobs

Should I write a post about that^^?

And with that, I’m off to da NYC to get it poppin hollaback. Chillin wit da homies eastside straight murda thug life ponies and rainbows from da streets ya heard.

The Influence of Anime: Saki

BOOB ALERT: (no nudity, just thought you’d want to know that this post is gonna rock).

Days (more like months) back, Saki came out. I watched one episode, and thought that it was a show I could see myself liking, but there was one problem. I didn’t have a fucking clue what any of these characters were talking about when they were playing mahjong. I didn’t know the first thing about mahjong! The phrases, the game moves, everything just confused me. So I put it on hold until I learned mahjong, and then I began the long process (not really) of learning the game.

At first I read up on it, looked at everything, and even tried playing online. But I was playing the wrong kind. In Saki, they play the Japanese version of the game (obviously), while I was playing the Chinese version. They’re different, believe me. I was playing the Chinese version, and didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I was used to Kan and Pun and stuff with the version in Saki, and with the Chinese version they use words like chow and kong and I was getting confused because they weren’t the same, and it never crossed my mind that there could be different variations/translations of terms (I guess I’m just that dumb). It was at this point that I decided, “Hey, fuck it.” I put the anime on Injured Reserve for a while, until such time that I wanted to give it another try.

About 2 weeks ago, I decided that maybe I can still enjoy the anime even though I don’t get the game. So I picked it up. After 1 more episode, I decided, yet again, that it was time to learn mahong. This time, I knew that they were playing Japanese style, and that’s probably why I was able to learn it much easier than the previous attempt (I was used to the terms, and already knew the tiles from my first attempt to learn this game). The second attempt therefore came much easier than the first. There were still some things that I didn’t get, but I got the help I needed thanks my twitter conversation with zzeroparticle and pantherh. So yea, now I love mahjong, and by love, I mean I’ll play it when I’m bored. Now that I’m finished with that boring, pointless story, I can deliver my review of

Saki

So Saki is about a girl named Saki who has been playing mahjong with her family since she was little. However, her parents would get mad at her if she lost, and got mad if she won, so she learned to just finish at plus/minus 0 every time (which is kind of like breaking even in poker every single time you play). Eventually she gets involved with her school’s mahjong club, and learns to turn this ability to break even into one where she pretty much becomes unstoppable.  Rie Kugimiya is also in this anime, so I was going to watch it regardless.

It’s actually a pretty good plot. More original then a lot of other bullshit out there. For pros and cons, I’m just going to pick one thing and focus on it.

Pro – The Mahjong Games

First of all, anime that feature tournaments of any kind are usually awesome. The same is true here. Although mahjong is kind of half luck half skill, in Saki, luck and skill seem to go hand and hand. For example. When a character looks like they’re down and out, they will suddenly call richii, and then the rest of the players will be stunned. In real life mahong, this doesn’t mean that said character has the game in hand, they still have to wait for another tile to declare ron (a winning hand). But in Saki, the character pretty much will always then reach to pick up a tile, thus winning. If said character is drawing a facedown tile, then they pick it up, seemingly knowing that it’s the winning tile (it will usually be shining or something) and do something like throw it up in the air and slam it down on the table, declaring tsumo (winning hand). It’s all showy and I liked it. Pretty much, everything is very over dramtized, I did a poor job at explaining, but take the fight scenes in a show like Sengoku Basara and translate them to Mahjong. That’s what the games are like.

Another good aspect of the games is the players themselves. They always have some kind of special ability/trait, and let’s face it, special abilities/traits kick ass. I’ll use my favorite character as an example.

Momo is awesome, and here’s why:

As a young one, she was that girl who, while she was never a loser, never really stood out, ie, she was simply invivsible. She broke off all attempts to even communicate with anyone, and this translates to her mahong game. She has the ability to make her moves and tiles invisible. Likewise, she’ll declare richii and no one will even know. More importantly (at least according to the subs) she pluralizes random words. For examples, she might say something like:

“I believes you!”

There is no need to pluralize “believes”, but she does it. What a rebel!  Momo kicks ass. Also, she’s a complete lesbian (wait….who ISN’T one in this show? Oh yea, Yuki…and Jun Fukuyama’s character, who is obviously a male.). That’s probably another pro. There’s a shitload of yuri themes. There’s no overpowering raging lesbians, but there’s a lot of ambiguous lesbianism. For example, girls will blush at each other during moments of, well, I guess you could call it affection? Basically when someone tells someone else something encouraging or anything like that, one or the other will blush. Usually the person blushing is Nodoka when Saki tells her something. And the only two that seem to have an actual lesbian relationship is Momoko and Yumi, although during the last episode, well, I’ll just say that it was filled with yuri.

Well I got completely off topic, but you should have guessed that that was going to happen.

Best Pro: The Mahjong Matches (they also contained some BAM moments)

Con – Nodoka’s Boobs

Wow. That’s all I have to say. I couldn’t wait to write this, and I guarantee I actually will be able to stick to topic. The animation overall in Saki is pretty good. I couldn’t notice anything that made me think “Wow this sucks.” EXCEPT NODOKA’S TITS.

Her tits actually contradict themselves. Now, to prove that I am a better artist than those who used a pen to take a stab at Nodoka’s mountain range, I took a screenshit and fixed it IN PAINT. That’s right, in paint. Each one took about 10 seconds to fix. Here is the first one:

Do you see the problem? In the top picture (the original) the boobs are outlined. Why, I have no idea. You can’t have both outlines of boobs AND folds over them…it makes not sense. If the boobs were outlined, it would mean that her shirt is tucked under her boobs, which would be entirely possible, except that there are also folds that would indicate the shirt NOT being tucked under her massive cans. So I removed the lines, yielding a more natural look. Of course, there’s still a whole lot wrong with this, I mean, the folds are going in the wrong directions. Here’s another boob job:

The folds shouldn’t be going up and down, , I’ll draw a picture of how they should look in a bit (it’s gonna be a shitty paint picture….eventually I’m going to put up some actual art of mine). Here’s another boob job:

Everything is wrong. The folds are overloaded. And you know what? I’m not going to draw a picture of huge boobs. I’m going to use google to do it for me:

Take note: The folds in the shirt are HORIZANTAL (across) NOT VERTICAL. Have these artists ever even seen huge tits? Probably not, because they live in Japan (ba-dump. kishhh)

This one has only one fold, but it goes across the shirt, it doesn’t outline each individual boob.

Here we would have the boob shirt tuck. The shirt is tucked under her boobs. Do you see any horizontal folds though? No you do not. Let me add that she needs a breast reduction, her back is going to completely give out in a matter of hours.

Now maybe you can tell why is wrong with Nodoka’s tits, one of the few cons I had with this anime (there are more, but I’m writing a separate post about these things because they apply to most anime).

Suck my dick (just felt like saying that). Here’s the final fucking grade:

FINAL GRADE = 5

Bill HATES THE WEATHER IN CONNECTICUT! WHEN WILL IT FUCKING STOP RAINING!??????

So I was GOING to go to the city. But it’s NEVER GOING TO FUCKING STOP RAINING SO NOW I’M NOT GOING AND I ALREADY CALLED OUT OF WORK. FUCK YOU WEATHER I’M SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF.

Seikon no Qwaiser: Predictions

I’m going to keep this kind of short and sweet….maybe…..but anyway, this was one of the few (three) shows that I planned on checking out this season, mainly due to this dude (Sasha the Martyr), who has a bad ass appearance that just screams “bad ass appearance.”

If you know this show, then you realize that this is only this dude’s “normal everyday” appearance, not his bad ass appearance. His bad ass appearance is much more bad ass, but I’m not going to show you that one (because I’m too lazy to backtrack through the episode and take a screen shot). Basically, this is a dude who doesn’t take shit. Fuck, he doesn’t even take praise, he just handles business.

Anyway, that was the reason for me starting this show. Other than that, I had no idea what this was about. Apparently, it has something to do with God, and Alchemy as well as sick Alchemy fight scenes, which are sick, and awesome.

One thing I didn’t realize that this anime had was a shitload of boobs. There’s tits flying left and right in this show, and depending on which version you watch, these boobs can either be covered, or not. In fact, on of the ways that bad ass dude gets powered up is by sucking tits. He literally drink tit milk for power. Normally, I would find this funny, and awesome. but in this case, I feel like it kind of takes away from the bad assness that this show could be.

Wait.....wtf?

Don’t get me wrong, I love tits, but honestly, how can I take anything in this show seriously when there’s stuff like this going on? At least make it like…..match the anime better. Keep in mind that the above scene took place right in the middle of a fucking awesome fight scene, thus  making all of my adrenaline seize, and ruining the fight scene for several seconds (until the fighting commenced, at which point I didn’t care about this anymore). But I do feel like the fan service and bullshit like the above picture does take away from what I wanted out of this originally: Awesome Shit.

That being said, this show still kicks ass, and I am DEFINITELY going to keep watching it.

That being said, I may opt for the censored version, because I think I actually want less retardedness for this show. Here is why I like this show:

Enjoyment

• Clearly there are lesbians.
• Clearly there is alchemy (because they say so)
• Clearly there is a bad ass character who is also mysterious.
• Clearly there are awesome fight scenes.
• Clearly there is a mysterious background and other mysterious things happening in the shadows.

Taking Away From These Things Is

• Lots of huge boobs.
• Blatant and Funny Fanservice.
• Boob Milk (that’s right, and it’s not even acidic!).
• More boobs.
• Girl’s with tremendously large boobs.
• Don’t get me wrong, I love tits (in real life…hell I’ll like em in anime too if they provide humor), but throwing tits in this is like throwing tits in…..well…….a show where tits don’t really belong (maybe like FMA?). They just don’t go with the show. You might get what I’m saying….you might not.
• There’s also the chance that I’m completely wrong and that the boobs will simply enhance everything.

Now, let it be known that I watched both versions of this first episode (duh), so I made a decision based on a comparison, which version I preferred. So let me say this: If you want some naked tits and some boob suckling, go for the uncensored version and have a blast (maybe even literally, if you like that kind of thing). If you’re looking for subsequently less fanservice, do what I’m doing and watch the censored version, which isn’t as bad, although some scenes piss me off, when there’s dialogue and sound effects, and all there showing is a fucking tree or something. That pisses me off a little, and might have me ending up watching the uncensored version when it’ all said and done. Either way, it’s a good show.

My Prediction

Mafuyu suckles on Tomo’s tits, and gets awesome power. I mean, Mafuyu and Tomo (do I even have their names right?) obviously need to bang by the end of this. Clearly they want to, Mafuyu keeps saying that she wants to get stronger, and the bad ass kid told her that she needs to get stronger. Usually that means that she’s going to get stronger. Likewise, tit milk obviously has a positive effect on people like the bad ass dude, and Tomo (if that’s her name) has huge fucking tits. It just seems like the most likely scenario.

And with that, I say that this show gets the Glo the Legend mark of approval, although it should be taken with caution.

A Review of Everything

Well I took a week off from writing anything (more like I have a shitload of work to do before the end of the semester [this is the life of a procrastinator in full effect]), or even doing anything anime or Eye Sedso related, but I did have this draft that I wrote, and just never put up. In it, I review pretty much anything that I would’ve reviewed, had I not been getting my character list out instead.

First are reviews of shows and stuff that I finished I want to just say that it is becoming very hard for me to watch anime at all, for several reasons:

1. Whenever I start an episode, I can’t seem to get through it without my shitty computer shutting off from “overheating”. FYI, it’s NOT overheating, it just THINKS it is, because it’s a PIECE OF SHIT. I would LOVE to get a new one, but for that I need MONEY, and finding a job right now is NOT EASY (especially if you don’t look, like me….that being said, the ski slope opens soon [job I have] and training for lifegaurds is going to be soon [another job I will have], so I’m kind of just holding out until then).
2. I have MUCH LESS TIME on my hands than I usually have, for a few reasons: First of all school work is actually finally starting to become….how you say….heavy? I actually have lot of shit due, and most of this shit takes a lot of time to produce.
3. I’ve been reading manga more than watching anime, because with manga you can read on your own time. You don’t have to commit 24 minutes to it, you can read for 5, 10, even 654 minutes at a time. Not only that, but the artwork and stories in manga seem to have more depth to them. I actually sometimes go to Borders books and READ MANGA now (once, about a month ago….okay 2 months). I need to buy some manga now.

Just a warning, this is a longgggggg freakin post (maybe my longest ever….well….that I put up all at once at least). This is mostly due to Queen’s  Blade, since Queen’s Blade takes up about half of this post. (chances are, I made 1000 spelling/grammar mistakes).

Section #1: Anime Series Reviews

Pandora Hearts

You know what seems to be a trend? In every anime, whenever characters have a cheers, the camera suddenly shows the outside landscape, and than pans upward to the sky when they all say Kampai!!! Anyone else find that odd?

Anyway, Pandora Hearts was good, and I’ll get to that in a bit, but first let me get to the bad:

CONS:

• Oz. He started off as a pretty cool character, seemingly not giving a fuck, but then it turned out that he was just an emo bitch, and toward the end especially, he was just miserable as a character, asking himself, “What am I, who am  I, why didn’t daddy love me?’ Enough Oz. Cut the bullshit, act like a man, and go kick some ass.
• Unanswered questions. Remember when Elliot complained about having that dream? It seems obvious to me that he is to Glenn what Oz is to Jack. Aka. However, they brought this whole “dream” bullshit up, only to never talk about it again. That’s just one example. This, along with it’s lack of ending, leads me to believe that a second season would be coming, but apparently, this is not the case (so I hear). In that sense, this anime was a complete waste of my time.
• The fuzzy animation quality. Even the torrents were pretty poor quality (which is no ones fault really, you use what you get), but even the high quality torrents that I saw still had that fuzzy, dull look that I absolutely HATE. It reminded me or Shikabane Hime or Kurokami (both good shows however). The actual animation wasn’t bad though, only the color schemes.

PROS:

• The characters were a HUGE PRO, and a big part of why I liked this series. We have Alice, aka one of the most awesome characters EVER. We have Echo, a minor character who ruled. We have Break and Sharon, both who are awesome either by themselves or paired up. We have Gil….who was…….gay?……Anyway, the characters were great. Even Oz was pretty cool for the most part.
• The premise, despite the lack of an ending, the plot was actually relatively intriguing. Chains and the Abyss, Alice and the Will, Vincent and his deal (another unanswered…..you know what, there were no answers to anything). The search for Alice’s memory……everything was tied into each other pretty nicely, and for the most part, I found the plot great.
• The comedy was awesome. I went into this in another post that I don’t feel like looking for, but the comedy was done pretty nicely, and put in at the right moments (although I guess that is mainly credit to the manga, if the anime copied it).
• Alice. Without her, I may have dropped this show.

For this, I give Pandora Hearts an average

FINAL GRADE = 4

Bill sent Pandora Hearts into the abyss, but it managed to claw it's way out.

Spice and Wolf II

Well, the first season was awesome. And the second season was more awesome. I don’t really have much to say here, so I’ll just list whatever about the show (There will be spoilers in this little list, but only in the little list):

• Horo was in it, so it was good.
• Lawrence sold Horo off to some guy in marriage.
• Lawrence sold Horo off to the church.
• Lawrence sold Horo off to people for sex, and collected the money Well, he might have well have (had well? I don’t know the right grammar here).
• Horo got drunk.
• Horo and Lawrence plotted and schemed.
• Lawrence confessed his love to Horo!!!! Unexpected! (actually it’s not that big of a surprise).
• There were awesome money transactions.
• Several BAM moments.
• Great new supporting characters.

There was probably more, but I really want to watch Gintama, so I’m going to finish this up…. The second season of Spice and Wolf was even better than the first, which was awesome, and seeing as the first got a grade of 5^^ (which is my highest grade in my awkward system), this season also gets a

FINAL GRADE = 5^^

Bill tried to shave Horo's tail in an attempt to win....BAD MOVE BILL.

Kanamemo

Clockwise from the top left (saki bottle): Haruka (pedophile), Yume & Yuuki (lesbians), Mika (tsundere/lesbian for Kana (in my opinion)), Kana, Saki (boss), Hinata (Money).

Don’t watch this, it sucks. The first episode was okay, and then it was all downhill from there, as the series became riddled with repetitive, stupid plots, and retarded characters. At one point, it took me a week to get halfway through one episode.

Basically, it’s a show about a little girl who loses her grandma aka entire family (she kicked the bucket, meaning she’s fucking dead), and is now looking for a place to stay. What she finds is a newspaper delivery service that offers boarding to it’s employees, of which are compiled of, a 4th grade boss, a lesbian pedophile alcoholic, a girl with a money obsession, and a lesbian couple. She also meets Mika, an employee from a rival paper who she is destined to have lesbian relations with, once they are both of age.

Sounds like it could might be good, right? It actually really doesn’t, but Rie Kugimiya is in it, so I had to watch it. No surprise, but it ended up sucking pretty bad. Each and every single character was incredibly one dimensional. The only characters I found decent were the 4 year old boss and Mika. The money girl was okay too, only because she was normal and didn’t get on my nerves.

I struggled through it, until I finally got to the last episode. Ironically (and I love irony) I actually thought that the last episode was funny, and enjoyable. Maybe because it had great scenes where Mika and Kana pretend to be on bikes, and Kana dies (for pretend, which makes it pretty remarkable). It’s completely retarded, and I like stuff like that (because I am completely retarded). Even Haruka, the pedophile, managed to do something funny. She told Kana that she would like to “have” her, but Kana, who was not listing, and was instead thinking about a book she wanted to buy, absentmindedly said, “2800 yen”. Haruka went and got the money, assuming that Kana wanted money for sex. Misunderstandings are funny sometimes (this is the only one that was funny in this show). Actually, five seconds late (can you tell that I’m watching this episode as I write this?) Yuma tells Kana to pick up 2 notebooks tomorrow, and that she could keep the change (which would be enough for Kana to buy her book). Kana declines, and not one second later, Yuuki (Yuma’s lesbian lover) comes in holding 2 notebooks, displaying that she is completely Yume’s bitch.

It’s the last episode and the last episode alone that bumps this anime up to an amazingly low

FINAL GRADE = 3

Bill took a 2x4 and bashed the pedophile's head in. Not just because she was pedophile, but because she was fucking annoying.

If you want to know my favorite character, consult The Character Page, under, “K” (obviously).

Tokyo Godfathers

I’ve had this movie on my computer for about 4 months now, just taking up space. Why I hadn’t yet watched it is beyond me. Truth be told, I was a little put off by the premise of hobos carrying around an infant for an entire movie. After literally just finishing it (at least when this post was originally written), I can now say that judging a book (or in this case, movie) by it’s cover is the one thing you should never do. This movie was absolutely fantastic.

If I could sum this movie up in one word (and it just so happens that I have just the word to do so), it would be:

BAM

Every second there was a BAMmy BAM BAMerific BAMpster waiting to kick me in the face. I actually was kicked in the face so many times that I no longer have any teeth, and my nose is broken, and that’s a good thing. Let me rewind (don’t worry, no spoilers here).

This centers around three homeless people: a runaway girl, a homo (I like to refer to him as a hombo [homo + hobo]), and a man who seemingly threw his life away (I don’t want to spoil). They find a baby, and decide to bring it back to it’s mother. Now what makes this movie truly great is the pasts of each of the main characters, and how everything seems to come together in a GIGANTIC PLETHORA of HUGE BOMB SHATTERING and AWESOME COINCIDENCES. There are SO many coincidences and awesome turns, that I couldn’t help but punch several holes in my wall, just out of sheer joy (lol, can you imagine me jumping around my room laughing and punching holes in my wall? I can completely see myself doing it, and that’s scary).

The animation was FANTASTIC. Notice the colors. What movements! What power! (that’s sort of an inside joke) This is why I love animated movies. They’re so much more alive then series. The movements of the characters are so fluid when compared to a series (some exceptions). Tokyo Godfathers might even crack a TOP FIVE on my top ten animated movies list. In fact, it definitely does (now where did I put that list…)

.   .   .   .   .

Ah, here it is…..really? Howl’s Moving Castle isn’t better than Akira! I need to revise this a bit……annddddd:

1. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
2. Akira
3. Tokyo Godfathers
4. Howl’s Moving Castle
5. Steamboy
6. Princess Mononoke
7. Spirited Away
8. Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea
9. Perfect Blue
10. Kiki’s Delivery Service

That’s right, I gave it the three spot. this was fantastic.

Shakugan no Shana-tan 3

The best one yet, and adding Hayate to the roster of shows on JCStaff certainly didn’t hurt. I really don’t have much to say, but this, just like all of the -tan shorts, was very amusing and entertaining and funny and awesome and great an-

Section # 2: Anime Series First Impressions:

Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu: Purezza

Okay, it took me watching this new season for me to realize just how awesome the last season was. Not only that, but I just watched episode 3, and to my surprise, I found Rie Kugimiya voicing a typical rich, tsundere character, and also using the main lead character as her butler. I’ll stop there and just say that it pretty much mirrored an episode of Hayate no Gotoku…..well, it was similar at least.

What can I say, I knew that that it would only be a matter of time before Rie Kugimiya was in this show, and she even made a short reference to Taiga from Toradora (at least that’s what I saw it as), aka her best performance ever. I fuckin love this show (even though it is extremely corny, very stupid, and completely retarded). Not only that, but we also got a new maid, named Koko or something. The reason why she is great is that the only words that she speaks are her name, which happen to be “Koko, koko”, (just like a Pokemon!) but the one thing that makes her great is her ability to pretty much kill anyone, due to the use of a weapon that looks very very very very similar to Dokuro-chan’s weapon Excaliborg (or whatever it’s called) from Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan (which is a fucking hilarious show done by the same studio I think…..or the same director……or something lik- you know what it’s in another one of my posts, go look for it).

Section #2.5: Manga First Impressions

XBlade

Okay, so I was checking up on TJ’s blog which usually reviews only awesome shows and manga, and I came across XBlade, a manga I had somehow never heard about, and later found that it is one of the greatest mangas I’ve ever read (after 2 chapters) and is filled with so much bad ass bad assery and assnes that isn’t good, that the whole God damn thing is one giant, continuous BAM. Just reading it puts hair on your chest. Hmmm. You might not get it, or might be underestimating this manga with that, so here’s this:

Normally I make all of my pictures sized to 500 x whatever, but I made this one 600 x whatever, because it’s so fucking sick that I developed a fetish for vomitting by reading it (that was just too gross). It’s awesome…..too bad I already caught up to the manga…

Ultimate!! Hentai Kamen

I should first point out that this isn’t hentai as in porn. There is no nudity. In fact, if I were to compare this to any other anime/manga, I’d say that it’s like Dragonball Z. Basically, this manga is a bit childish, but is also really really funny, and I started reading it by accident. I meant to watch Until Death Do Us Part, but the scroller is shitty, and I somehow started reading this. Speaking of Until Death Do You Part….I’m actually thinking of dropping it (which I won’t acually do), mainly because I’m reading it, but I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Mahou Sensei Negima!

Pretty much just like the first show, which I consider one of my favorite shows (top 20? if not than certainly close). Awesome. I could read this really quickly if I wanted to, but I’m going to try and go slowly.

Section #3: Queen’s Blade:

Did you think I had forgotten Queen’s Blade? Shame on you. There’s  reason why I save Queen’s Blade for last, and why it get’s a whole section to itself. I may have not put out any posts about it in the past 2 and a half weeks, but I’ve been watching, and I’ve been liking. No longer is this show just a ridiculously hilarious fan service/softcore porn show. Now, Queen’s Blade actually has a good plot, and interesting twists. I actually anticipate episodes now, for different reasons than previous. Ready? Here are all of my episode reviews:

Episode 6

This fight (#6) actually changed my mind about Claudette. I used to hate her, but now I kind of respect her resiliancy and slight bad assness. She finally stands up and exclaims that she doesn’t give a fuck, she’s going to be the Queen:

WINNER = Claudette

Meanwhile, Irma, (my 2nd favorite active character), is being hunted by EH-Risty (Evil Hot Risty). However, when hope seems lost, her old master shows up and rescues her. Personally, I love this development in the plot….that’s right, DEVELOPMENT in the PLOT. In Queen’s Blade! I love it!

Elsewhere, Airi (my favorite active character) is still being nagged by Cattelya’s bastard child, and because of this, she hasn’t really been able to eat (human life force) in front of the kid. Airi has kind of become less of a bad character, and more of a gaurd dog to Rana, but I like characters who change, and Airi has an awesome scythe, which is why she wins as my favorite charcters. Anyway, Tomoe catched Airi about to feast, and then tell her that she and Shizuka will take care of the bastard child instead. Airi veiws this as an opportuniy to eat (human life force), and flies across town to get a meal, but right when she’s about to eat, Rana, being the bastard that he is, grabs her skirt….how he manages to catch with someone who was flying is beyond me, but it is then decided that they will be together for the rest of this season (apparently). In my opinion, I think that as long as Airi is paired with Rana, she won’t get frozen in yellow carbonite like her counterparts, Menace and Mellon (I forgot to tell you, Menace got frozen in yellow carbonite).

Up next is another Queen’s Blade battle, this time it’s

Queen’s Blade Fight 7: Tomoe vs Elina

Personally, I hope Elina gets her head cut off and dies. I hate her stuck up bitch additude. It’s fairly obvious that Tomoe is going to win (I feel like she’s destined to meet Reina in the finals), so I look forward to this. I find it kind of funny how Elina fouht in fire  during the first fight, and now is fighting in snow during her second one. That kind of sucks.

Queen’s Blade Fight 8: Irma vs EH Risty

Needless to say, I have a bad feeling about this fight. I have a feeling that Irma is about to get the boot. You can’t beat EH Risty, and her whole conversation foreshadowed pretty  blatantly that she couldn’t win, just from the general tone and Echidna’s little monologue at the end. Just don’t like it. Of course, I could be wrong, maybe Irma knocks Risty back into reality or something.

Episode 7

One thing I’ve noticed is that the fight scenes do two things:

1) Everyone’s shirts rip, and both fighters are left topless by the fight’s end.

Randomly, EH Risty's shirt becomes see-through.

2) The fight sequences are getting pretty good.

It's so quick that my print screens can't even keep up.

The same can be true for the fight between Irma and EH-Risty (as I obviously just showed). This fight ruled, despite it’s shortness in length. I loved the music, and the ice cavern. What also made this great was the flashbacks of Irma’s past during the fight, as well as Echidna’s little monologue. I thought it brought a good amount of drama to the fight. However, they didn’t let us forget that this is still Queen’s Blade, and kind of ruined a dramatic scene, after Irma get wailed on by that spiked ball you see in the above picture. after getting smacked in the back, she stands up (or manages to get to her knees anyway) and then coughes up blood, and falls backward, as dramatic music that actually really fits the scene  plays in the background. But whoops, she’s not wearing a shirt, soooooo

Holy mother of God.

Instead of feeling like, “FUCK, Irma fucking DIED. I’m pissed (because she is….or was, my second favorite acting character)”, I instead just laughed.

WINNER: EH Risty

After the fight, we see a similar pattern play out, as the scene moves to Airi and her dilemna with Rana, and how she’s all “OMG a kid OMG.” It’s becoming noticible that her weak state (due to lack of human life force) is starting to take it’s toll, and I don’t believe that she’s going to be surviving her next fight.

At the same time, Echidna finds an inconcious (or dead) Irma, and has to deal with her. In a sense, both are dealing with feelings of being a parent figure (or older sister figure) in looking out for the young ones. On to the fight between Tomoe and Elina.

Almost right away Tomoe loses her shirt (because she’s a whore). Elina is using mind games so that she can win (because she’s a huge lesbian whore). However, Tomoe unknowingly FLIPS THE SCRIPT, and uses mind games on Elina when she tell her that she and Reina (whore) ate and slept together.

Does anyone think that Elina looks like a whore right here? Cuz I do.

When Elina hears this, she gets so upset that she kills herself by strangling herself to death.

.      .      .      .      .

Okay actually Tomoe just literally kicks the shit out of her (well she kicks her at least).

A topless Tomoe is not one to tango with.

WINNER – Tomoe

And then, just to remind you that this is still Queen’s Blade:

Really, you weren't expecting this?

Up next we have an awesome fight, between Nanael and Airi. Both of them are hungry, because they haven’t eaten, and they’re both some form of spirit. They’re actually like mirror images of themselves, now that I think about it. I don’t know who will win this. I almost feel like Nanael will lose, because she’s stupid, she bet on herself (never a good thing), and she’s a dirty whore (look at the picture). Honestly this fight looks like it will be more of a comedy act than a fight.

However, before this gets started, we have a bombshell dropping, as Shizuka reveals to Tomoe that she’s actually an assassin hired to kill her (Tomoe) and thus, she tries to kill her. GASP!

Of course, this turns out to be a lie, and Skizuka just wanted to fight Tomoe so that Tomoe would have no more weaknesses (which makes perfect sense….oh wait, no, it’s just stupid). So Tomoe obviously kills (yes, kills) Shizuka, and then cries like a bitch. Queen’s Blade is getting HEAVY.

Corny montage of Shizuka plays with music. This is good, because it means that Irma must be alive (she had no montage).

Episode 8

The fight between Airi and Nanael starts, but isn’t being shown anywhere (mainly because it’s being held in front of Queen Aldra, which means someone is getting frozen in yellow shit).

Anyway, as the fight progresses, both fighters are tired, and it appears as though Nanael has the upper hand. Thinking quickly, Airi sheds her clothes, and attacks using “Bra-Panty Slut Combo”

Not kidding, it's a legit Queen's Blade move.....I read about it.......IN A BOOK!

Then, as what usually happens with all of my favorite characters, Airi FUCKING DIES.

Maybe I should choose Reina as my new favorite character, so that she could die. Let’s take a look back on my favorite characters, and what happened to them:

Allean – Held back by a worthless, pantsless loli. Lost and was eliminated from Queen’s Blade.

Irma – Got completely raped by EH Risty. Lost and was eliminated from Queen’s Blade.

Airi – Started becoming awesome, was held back by a worthless, tiny kid. Fucking died.

Fuck me right? In related news, I now absolutely despise the character of Nanael, and hope that she dies. She’s so stupid and that little fucking wing she has is annoying as fuck. I mean, why is she even participating in Queen’s Blade anyway? Sometimes, I just want to take her by the throat an-

Can you get back to the review?

Can I…What!? Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do!? You want a review? Here a review of the rest of the episode:

• Rana and The Dwarf Girl whose name I always forget talk, and Rana decides to help said dwarf girl reforge the sword. I guess that means that the dwarf girl is about to die, since everyone who hangs around Rana gets the ax.
• Reina is a whore.
• Reina’s dad is planning something to take back the throne.
• Melona is freed from the yellow stone, due to the fact that holy milk was spilled on it, mainly due to the fact that Nanael is a clumbsy whore. This is pretty big news I guess, but whatever.
• Reina is a whore (still)
• the dwarf’s name is YMIR! (hits himself in the face with a bottle of contact solution [it was close by])
• The next fight begins! I can’t wait for it, because one of my two least favorite characters will lose!

Queen’s Blade Fight #10: Nanael vs Reina

Suddenly, I don’t hate Nanael anymore. In fact, I’d say that she’s now my favorite active character!

What a fucking pussy you are Nanael...and you don't have any milk left because you don't put a cap on the bottle....wouldn't that make more sense?

WINNER – Reina

*facepalm*

Episode 9

So the last episode ended with the next two battles announced to be

Queen’s Blade Fight #11: EH Risty vs Claudette

and

Queen’s Blade Fight #12: Reina vs Tomoe

Honestly, I don’t care who wins first one (leaning toward Claudette actually), but I really want Tomoe to win her fight, since she is now my favorite active character, and Reina absolutely pisses me off. This means that EH Risty and Reina will win their fights (I’m assuming). The count planned to take advantage of the final Queen’s Blade fights by attacking with his troops, but as it turns out, the fight between Claudette and EH Risty is being held AT THE CASTLE, hindering his plans (literally pretty much copied this word for word from the subs).

Anyway, the count decides to send out the troops anyway, and Elina and Reina have sex.

She's touching you boobs, Reina....your boobs....(you'd think she'd be able to tell, wouldn't you?).

Randomly, we switch back to the fight, where Claudette, who spent last episode watching way too much Pokemon, breaks out her moves:

Claudette used Thunder Shock!

It's not very effective...

Unfortunately for Claudette, it looks like EH Risty, who has been known to like Onyx (both the rapper and the pokemon) seems to have been ready for Claudette’s electric attacks, and as you know, electric is weak against ground type pokemon. Anyway, Claudette is no level 7 pokemon (despite using a weak attack like thunder shock, when thunder or thunder bolt is much better [personally, I prefer thunder bolt. It’s more accurate, and is still a good move]), and so she starts breaking out the body attacks.

Claudette used Skull Bash!

Claudette used High Leg Kick!

With EH Risty now in a weakened state, Claudette decides to finish her off with one of her electric moves, so that she can regain her pride (what’s better than beating a ground type with an electric move? Sex, and that’s it.)

Claudette used...Thunderclap Strike? Wait, I've never heard of this move?

With EH Risty apparently down for the count, Claudette takes this time to talk smack to the count (that wasn’t an awkward sounding sentence or anything). She tell him that he’s a stupid fuck, and that she will become Queen. unbeknowngst to the two of them, Aldra had given EH Risty a Max Revive, and she suddenly comes rushing after the Count, but is blocked by Claudette. However, Aldra also gave EH Risty an X Attack, so she’s like, super strong now (we’re talkin’ red eyes strong). Realizing this, The Count and Claudette try to run, but as any good pokemon trainer knows, you can’t successfully run when you’re facing another pokemon trainer. Eventually, EH Risty uses Fissure. and even though it misses 4 out of 5 times, this time it does the job. As you know, fissure kills any pokemon in one hit, and since Claudette was fucking awesome in this fight, and I actually really like her character, and was rooting heavily for her to win, she of course FUCKING DIES. That’s right, she’s fucking dead. Good for me. i bet Tomoe dies in the nexy fight, and then every single character besides Reina dies after that. STOP KILLING THE CHARACTERS I LIKE!!!!! Now it reads like this:

Allean – Held back by a worthless, pantsless loli. Lost and was eliminated from Queen’s Blade.

Irma – Got completely raped by EH Risty. Lost and was eliminated from Queen’s Blade.

Airi – Started becoming awesome, was held back by a worthless, tiny kid. Fucking died.

Claudette – Cheated out of a victory by the Queen. Fucking died. Oh good, she didn’t die, she just lost.

This is pissing me off a little.

WINNER – EH Risty

UPDATE! NYX APPEARANCE!

Since they showed Nyx, it's apparent that they might not be done with her character just yet. I have hope that she is able to kill Elina (or at least rape her in an embarrassing, Queen's Blade sort of way) to complete her revenge!

After this a bunch of shit happens, although not much of it is important. Tomoe kicks the shit out of some trees (oooo real hard). And Melon steals Nanael’s milk, because Nanael is retarded and can’t realize something obvious when it comes along (I thought she knew Melon was not to be trusted? What a moron, she deserves it). Then it shows Aldra looking at her frozen yellow stuff collection. Then it cuts to the ED which is basically a place for Menace to act like a stripper.

Episode 10

To start out, Nanael is getting hammered off some milk, which is the most abundant of all liquids in the world of Queen’s Blade. Some bullshit happens, and she eventually wanders into the woods, looking for Flabby Pink, which I think is a much better name than Melon. There, she finds Tomoe, who has apparently ascended to the level of unstable psycopath bent on killing bamboo trees.

Too bad Tomoe isn't facing a bamboo tree in the next fight.

A bunch of other stupid bullshit happens, and then it’s time for the fight, which is being held, coincidentally, at Tomoe’s birthplace. Also, Tomoe looks, FUCKING AWESOME:

Dudeeeeee......DUUUUDDDEEE.....

As Tomoe completely beats up on Reina (something that makes me happy), Ymir (I remembered her name for once) talks to a crowd about how her blade is being used by Reina. Tomoe is using sick moves, and is just beating down Reina as if she were a helpless child. I was thouroughly enjoying it, until Reina said that she, “can’t afford to lose.” Somehow this makes her strong, which is complete bullshit. The end result?

First one to expose both tits loses. Those are the rules.

WINNER – Reina

God damn it you know? Anyway, Ymir makes a shitload of money by selling cheap knockoffs of the blade she HALF made, and Flabby Pink was apparently pretending to be Rana for a while (I kind of spaced out when she said why though). Tomoe is wakes up before the Queen, and my sleep cycle is completely fucked up right now (I woke up form 9 hours of sleep at 1 in the morning).

Bonus Section: Thing(s) I Need:

Here are some thing I really need now:

• The Girl Who Leapt Though Time on DVD. I really want to watch it again, but my computer struggles when it plays MVK files (and all files, really).
• More anime movies.

I wish there were a place in CT where I could buy mainly anime stuff, but there really isn’t (sure Best Buy or Fye might sell a few movies/series, and Borders might have a slim manga section, but it’s mainly bullshit stuff). I don’t “do” online shopping anymore, just because.

Was this post long or what?

Queen’s Blade-GoTM 3: Stupid

WARNING: IT’S QUEEN’S BLADE.

I’m actually doing a real review for once on this episode. Real meaning, I cover the whole episode. Some details may have been changed (for example, there isn’t really a van in this episode).

I am so mad. So angry. And so annoyed.

Here’s Nyx, the most awesome character in the world, looking to get her revenge on Elina, who, despite being an insestual lesbian, is fucking stupid. She’s looking pretty crazy and bad ass, as she’s seriously giving Elina, who is a snobby bitch, a beating she won’t soon forget. Then Elina does a small bit of trash talking and Nyx fucking forfeits. Why does she turn into such a pussy!? COME ON NYX, KILL THIS BITCH! I feel like Queen’s Blade ripped me off here. I feel as used as a condom that has done it’s job.

Winner: Elina

Anyway, after this disappointing end to what could have been an awesome battle, Reina shows up and pisses everyone off:

What a stupid cunt. But enough about Reina, a Queen’s Blade first happens (sort of), as we are shortly thereafter introduced to the first men in Queen’s Blade (besides Reina’s father, who doesn’t count because all of his daughters suck as characters). And guess what? They’re all pedophiles:

Fact: Pedophiles like small girls because it makes them feel better about their small penises. In other words, all pedophiles have small dicks.

So anyway, they really want to rape…uh….what was her name again?…..oh yea, Nowa. These three guys, who probably work as jesters in the Queen’s court, lure Nowa into their windowless van with the empty gesture (Curb Your Enthusiasm reference) of candy, and she learns that there is no candy, only pedophiles in the van. Completely forgetting that she’s supposed to be a warrior in Queen’s Blade, she suddenly becomes as useless as shit flavored lollipop (Dodgeball reference). The pedophiles are horny, and it doesn’t help that Nowa doesn’t wear pants. Luckily, the crazy snake bitch, Echidna, comes to her rescue, followed shortly by Allean, who has recaptured her spot as my favorite character after Nyx let me down. I still have hopes that she will rise again, kinda like Jesus did in that book…..uhh….the Bible.

So we learn that Allean is not only 1000 years old, but is also a virgin. She looks pretty good for 1000 if you ask me. Of course, she obviously isn’t really a 1000 year old version, Echidna is just busting her balls….or ovaries. Unless of course she actually is a 1000 year old version. Anyway, the episode then switches to Melpha and Nanael in the church.

In the church, Melpha tells Nanael that she lack piety, and that’s why she failed. In order to become closer to God or some shit, she has to go on a journey and gain knowledge. Nanael hears her, and then does something awesome:

Slap dat big titted bitch!

Nanael might be my new favorite character (my favorite character changes about 3 times per episode, they’re all so awesome! So Nanaell slaps the shit out of Melpha, saying that she [Nanael] is a fucking angel, so what the fuck? You have an angel right in front of you, if you have a question about God or something, ask the fucking angel right in front of you. Stupid worthless bitch [Melpha]. Now, after being slapped, Melpha immediately cums all over the place, because as you know, when you slap girls they get horny. They then have sex long into the night, utilizing holy poses and Melpha’s enormous rack.

Next, we see that Risty has gotten a makeover since apparently becoming evil. (I skipped a few things)

Some blogs have good insight to episodes and such, but only Eye Sedso brings you fully extended Queen's Blade body shots! EDIT: Apparently this statement is untrue, as I now look upon other posts regarding this episode.

Risty has some huge ass tits. Remember when Risty was actually, like, and important character? I don’t. Next, more fights baby!

Queen’s Blade Fight 3: Echidna & Irma vs Nowa & Allean

Awesome. Tag Team Orgy.

So basically in this fight, all of the girls have to have a huge orgy, and the last one to cum wins. Okay it’s actually just a fight, but that could be a good idea for a Queen’s Blade spinoff. Teacher & Student vs Teacher & Student. Is it just me, or is this show starting to actually contain decent (or at least better) writing? For the record, I like pretty much every character in this fight. Allean and Irma might be my top two favorite characters, and Echidna is probably in my top 5 as well. Nowa sucks. Anyway, can’t wait for next episode to see who cums last.

Queen’s Blade-GoTM: 2 Gawwwd Daayyum

WARNING: THIS IS A QUEEN’S BLADE POST. EXPECT BOOBS.

Wow. This was….just….Queen’s Blade never fails to surprise me.

This episode opens with Reina, the worst character ever, looking for a place to stay. Seemingly, every single place she goes happens to be full up, but that’s just because no one likes her. Eventually, she’s forced to use the “I’m in Queen’s Blade” ploy, and a reluctant inn-keeper let’s her stay in a room, with this crazy snake bitch:

I wonder what she means by special night training...probably sex.

Nothing really happens through the first half of the show. Tomoe and Shizuka decide to stay at a church, which happens to be the same church where Nanael is, and it’s run by this character, who is so stupid (in a good, Queen’s Blade way) that I’ll have to show you a screen shot of her and her massive bust.

I see much lower back trouble in her future.

Holy fuck. This bitch has some huge tits. That’s what I thought, as I laughed and took a screen print of the page. Like, honestly. Jesus Christ. I mean, there’s a limit to how big boobs can be. I would not have sex with a woman if her tits were this massive. Okay, I might once, just to say I’d done it, but I probably wouldn’t enjoy it that much. Okay I might still enjoy it, but I’d hate myself in the morning. Pretty much, I wanted to punch this bitch in the face, just because I don’t like how she looks. Then they ate dinner:

Oh cum on, they're obviously using milk as a substitute for something else....what that something is, I have no idea.

Isn’t it strange how abundant milk is in the land of Queen’s Blade? It’s also apparently very easy to spill all over your face, breasts, and pretty much anywhere in between. Anyway, things get a little off track, as Tomoe forgets her place.

Apparently Tomoe forgot that she is a character in the hit anime, Queen's Blade.

Tomoe, you’re in Queen’s Blade. There is no such thing as exposing too much skin. In fact, I’d say she leaves too much to the imagination. And you’re one to talk, we get quite a bit of fanservice from you this episode. But yeah, the whole first part of the episode was worthless. But then, the fights start, and I am riveted.

Queen’s Blade Fight 1: Tomoe vs Melpha

Well, this fight was……well……..very very very “>very “>very “>very “>very “>very very very very very very very very very….(catches breath)….very very very veryveryveryveryveryveryveryvecry funny. That’s right funny. Here we have two priestess going at it. Tomoe being very conservative (and fucking awesome), and Melpha being….well…..a whore. That’s right, a whore. Typical cum-dumpster. I mean, look at her fighting poses.

At least she didn't piss all over the place like Reina would've done.

Each and every move of Melpha’s (the big-titted priestess) was a sexual position. I recall one of her poses was a doggystyle position, and I think it was called something like, “Holy Pose.” She actually yelled, HOLY POSE as she did it. I was honestly dying. She was actually beating Tomoe, but that’s only because Tomoe was kind of disgusted with her. Then she decided to try, and beat Melpha with one swing of her awesome samurai sword. I honestly want Tomoe to win the whole thing. However, she was not the best character of this episode.

Winner: Tomoe

Queen’s Blade Fight 2: Nyx vs Elina

Awesome battle so far. I was excited when I heard the matchup (even though it was kind of obvious). These match-ups ruled. Here we have Nyx, the girl who almost always get’s tentacle raped (she already was once this episode) and Elina, Reina’s sister, who, for some strange reason, wants Reina. She can have her. But what made this matchup really interesting was the fact that Nyx was, in the past, Elina’s servant, and pretty much hates Elina, and wants revenge. Now I don’t know if I told you about my feelings for revenge, but I fucking love revenge. I always root for revenge to win. If there was a fight between my best friend and a kid who wanted revenge against him, I’d say go revenge (as long as said friend was in no mortal peril).

Anyway, so right before the fight starts:

Obligatory Rape.

Something about this shot makes me laugh. Maybe it’s just my balls laughing at people who get off to this. But anyway, after swallowing the tentacle monster’s load, Nyx goes crazy (she’s obviously using the tentacle as means to gain power and for it’s free rapes). So now, instead of a scared girl who wants to get her redemption from Elina, she’s a fucking crazy psycho bitch hell bent on getting revenge. FUCKING AWESOME:

This girl has fucking problems and I love it. This screenshot alone won me over.

Nyx was easily my favorite character this episode. I mean, she’s most likely going to lose, because she was only just recently introduced (kind of like Melpha) and Elina is a long lasting character. This show is easily predictable. But dear God, make Nyx at least get revenge. I can not WAIT to see this fight finish.

Winner: Undetermined

Well that’s pretty much the episode, except for one last thing (just ignore the subs, this is a shitty screen-shot, I know):

You poke someone with that, it ain't comin' out clean. It's like a honey bee's stinger.

Nothing makes me happier than when I finish a Queen’s Blade Post.