The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

Best……..Anime………Movie……..EVER.

That’s all I can think about after watching this movie. Honestly, I probably won’t be able to watch any normal anime for a week, due to the fact that it will seem crappy and sub par when compared to the masterpiece that had me mesmerized for the past 1 hour and 18 minutes. Fucking brilliant.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

(Toki o Kakeru Shojo)

Premise: Uhh, a girl discovers how o leap through time. That’s all I’m going to say.

Okay so normally, I watch anime movies in English Dub instead of sub, mainly because I’m fucking weird. This movie, however, I was kind of forced into watching subbed, and thank God I did, because the voice actors/actresses were absolutely amazing. I don’t really need to elaborate on that. Riisa Naka played Makoto absolutely perfectly, and I don’t honestly believe anyone could have done it better. She was perfect, flawless, and simply, the best.

The animation was brilliant as well, as are most animation films, although this may have been magnified considering that I had just watched an episode of Asura Cryin’, which is filled with a lot of shitty animation. Brilliants animation, brilliant directing, brilliant movie.

What used to be my favorite anime movie? Akira? Pffff. First of all, Akira, while good, should have been placed after Howl’s Moving Castle on my list. You know what? Here is my old Top Ten Anime Movies:

1. Akira
2. Howl’s Moving Castle
3. Steamboy
4. Princess Mononoke
5. Spirited Away
6. Kiki’s Delivery Service
7. Perfect Blue
8. Ghost in the Shell
9. Inuyasha: Castle Beyond the Looking Glass
10. Bleach: Memories of Nobody (really?)

Not a bad list, but Bleach? It was a good movie, don’t get me wrong, but one of the top ten anime films ever? Doubtful. Here is the new Top Ten Anime Movies List:

1. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
2. Howl’s Moving Castle
3. Akira
4. Steamboy
5. Princess Mononoke
6. Spirited Away
7. The Cat Returns
   
8. Kiki’s Delivery Service
   
9. Perfect Blue
   
10. Cowboy Bebop: The Movie
    

There, now series-related movies are out, and my list is more respectable. So what really made The Girl Who Leapt Through Time my favorite anime movie ever? I’ll give you some time to think about it:

Give up? Time. (in case you didn’t get the giant hint). If they made 200 anime movies about time travel, then not only would I not have enough time to watch them, but they would probably be the top 200 movies in all of……well……time.

What’s so special about time travel you ask? Maybe it’s because with time travel, you can always expect some twists, turns, and/or an awesome plot that reveals itself in a way that’s kind of hard to explain, but altogether superior to any and/or all other plot unfoldings ever. Explaining the greatness of a time travel plot is kind of like trying to explain the rules of time travel to a retard, like a lot of my friends.

Me: You can’t just travel back in time and kill Hitler before he came to power.

Them: Why not?

Me: Because we know now that he did come to power, and that no one stopped him from doing so, so something is going to prevent you from killing him if you try.

Them: But you could just shoot him.

Me: T_T   <that’s right, I actually created a face with the keyboard. That makes me reinforces the fact that I’m a hypocrite.

Time Travel is great, and almost never fails in the plot (exceptions sometimes include plots that don’t follow the rules of time travel….those just don’t agree with me most of the time). The Girl Who Leapt Through Time takes this fact and makes it it’s bitch. Literally one of the best stories I’ve seen or read in a good long while.If you haven’t seen this (my guess is that everyone and their mother already has), then you are living a sheltered life, and you should either

A. Watch it immediately

B. Seppuku

I’m probably going to re-watch this movie 20 times during the course of the next week.

On a related note, anyone confused by the plot in LOST right now is a moron. It’s not that hard to follow.

 

Candy Boy – OVA: Ov[er]

Candy Boy, the lesbionic OVA about two lesbian sisters with financial problems is over. So what did I think? Well, I obviously though it was good enough to warrant a post. It’s not going to be a long one though, I just wanted to state that it was good, enjoyable, and reminded me of why I hate OVAs: They come out miles apart from each other.

Candy Boy

"we may be a shamless couple...."

So here’s the scoop: 2 sisters are away at college, and also happen to be going out with each other, because they’re lesbians. How did I find this show? I think I was on youtube and stumbled across it, and then became taken in by its lesbian tractor beam. But yea, anyway, the ONA (OVA, same fucking thing) focuses on them two and they’re happenings at school. To be honest, it’s kind of boring, but it’s well done, and does a good job at conveying different emotions, especially between the dikey sisters and they’re other, younger, sister, who is jealous of their rug-munchingness.

Best Character: Sakuya. She’s a friend of the two sisters…..sort of. She’s more like a stalker, as she really really want to bump uglies with Kanade. She’s a lesbian stalker, and is awesome. What’s not to like about a lesbian stalking lesbian? I can’t think of anything. And at the end of the final OVA (ONA, same fucking thing) she somehow gets to Kanade/Yuki’s room and:

 

Yea, she’s crazy. That’s really all I have to say. And in case you were wondering if there was anything “ecchi” in this, I’ll go ahead and post the most amount of sexual touching that you see in the entire episode:

 Any ecchiness would have killed this OVA, so I’m glad they didn’t have any real fanservice (like tits all over). Oh, so yea, I usually don’t give out grades for OVAs, I usually just include them with the series they go with, but if they aren’t an OVA to a series, like this one, then I guess I should grade. Candy Boy gets a

FINAL GRADE = 5 (5/7)

Have I been rating out of 8? Am I retarded?

Asura Cryin’ 8: Holy Crap The Animation Sucks

The animation is steadily getting worse and worse as we progress through the season.

 

 

Now, separately, these may appear to be good in terms of animation, but If you look at Kanade in the back, the door literally goes through her, or it should. Look how far back she is. This si just horrible. I used to be so high on Asura Cryin’, but the more I think about it, the more I realize it’s just a jumbled mess of crap. I mean, I’m still not quite sure what’s going one. Every episode there’s a new character introduced, and then you never hear about them again. I don’t even look forward to watching this show anymore.

Porn: It’s Around

A lot of people have been complaining that there isn’t enough off-topic shit on this site. So here is my FINAL OFF TOPIC POST EVER (not really but there won’t be that many from here on out, I’ll tell you why at the end of this post). Here, I wrote something ridiculous:

Porn is fucking great. have you ever watched it? It got fucking girls and shit. And they’re fucking. Holy shit. Nothing feels better than stroking your dick to some great porn. At this point, I don’t even like sex anymore, I prefer jerking my cock until it gets raw and chafed.

Let’s take a farther look into this subject. Look at this girl:

What a fucking ass.

Chances are, unless she’s very drunk, and you’re incredibly lucky, there is no way in hell that you’re ever going to fuck Kim Kardashian. However, you can watch someone else fuck her, and twank you’re wank until you bust.

Therefore, porn is pretty good, and without it our economy would be in the shitter, Let’s talk about some of the best types of porn:

• Brazilian Fart Porn
• Bestiality
• Hentai
• S & M
• Transvestites

Those are probably the most classy types of porn out there, and I sometimes spend full days occupied at my desk, gleefully spanking it with a beaming smile and tears streaming down my eyes. My closet is filled to the brim with all kinds of porn.

Yes, porn is great. But don’t take my word for it, try out porn today! I jerk off in public bathrooms, and sometimes dressing rooms at the mall! Hooray!

As for stupid off topic stuff (usually vulgar/disgusting/stupid/retarded, you can go to this site to get your kicks: Frankly Stupid. It’s stupid. It will offend everyone and most likely ruin my entire life. Oh, by the way, almost everything in this post was a huge lie. And those porns are just fucking weird.